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SIYE Time:7:21 on 29th March 2024
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A Debt Repaid
By Fire

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:All
Genres: Angst, Fluff, Tragedy, Drama
Warnings: Death, Dark Fiction
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 8
Summary: "Love and loss forms you, Harry." ~ If only they could find a way to save Harry, save him from the depression that had already consumed most of him.
Hitcount: Story Total: 5182







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A DEBT REPAID

*

by FIRE

*


By Christmas of his sixth year, Harry Potter had sunk into a state of depression far worse than the likes of Albus Dumbledore had ever witnessed in a student before. The young wizard had completely withdrawn into himself. He spoke to no one. His friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, frequented Dumbledore in the hope that they could perhaps, one day, find a way to pull Harry out of his hole; yet no idea ever came.

Harry and Hermione were both invited to the Burrow for Christmas, which Harry had accepted, although not too easily. And when Christmas finally came, Harry spent the vast majority of the week before Christmas in the Burrow’s vast garden.

Ron and Hermione were despairing about what to do. While they were used to Harry and his moods, this was altogether different. It was almost as if he was a completely different person; an empty shell where the soul of Harry Potter used to reside. For them, life with Harry was becoming almost unbearable; but they knew that a life without Harry would be absolutely unliveable. If only they could find a way to save Harry, save him from the depression that had already consumed most of him.

*


“Harry?& #8221; said a quiet voice tentatively to the figure sitting in the darkness.

There was no reply.

“Harry,” the voice repeated, only stronger this time. “It’s Ginny. I want to talk to you.”

“Why?” the almost whisper came.

It was not the answer that Ginny was expecting.

“Because you need to talk to someone,” said Ginny. “Just like I need to talk to someone.”

Harry looked at Ginny, beckoning her to him with his eyes. She sat beside him on the cold earth.

“Why do you need to talk?” Harry asked. “Especially to me.”

“I need to talk about Sirius," said Ginny.

Harry flinched unconsciously at the mention of his late godfather’s name.

“I lost him,” said Harry. “And it was my fault.”

He said it as if it was the end of a conversation; a final statement that should lay the matter to rest.

“Yes,” said Ginny. “You did lose him, and yes, it was partly your fault.”

Harry looked at her startled. It was his turn to be surprised by an answer.

“But,” said Ginny. “It is unfair to blame yourself. People who you trusted kept important facts from you, information that had you known, would have perhaps saved Sirius’ life.”

“If it wasn’t for my ‘saving-people thing’, Sirius would still be alive today,” Harry said, quietly, but angrily.

“I don’t deny it," said Ginny, calmly. “But remember, you weren’t the only one who believed that Sirius was in danger and that he needed help.”

“All I do is get people killed,” said Harry, defeatedly.

“That’s not true,” said Ginny. “If you had known the truth, the truth about the Department of Mysteries, you would never have rushed off to the Ministry that day, or if you knew the truth about the Triwizard Cup you would never have told Cedric to take it with you. You could never blame yourself for Cedric Diggory’s death. It was out of your hands. And your third year, Harry. You rescued Sirius from the Dementors.”

“He died anyway,” Harry said.

“But you got a chance to know him,” said Ginny. “And through him you had a chance to know your parents. As for him dying anyway, I can promise you that if you asked anybody at all, they would tell you that if they were going to die, they would prefer to do it quickly and painlessly in battle, than suffer the Dementor’s kiss.”

“It only made losing him more painful,” said Harry. “Whether it’s my fault or not, I always leave death in my wake.”

“Harry,” said Ginny, almost sternly. “I don’t look upon your ‘saving-people thing’ as a bad thing, in fact, I think it’s wonderful. Everyday I bless it, and thank whoever makes us that they gave it to you.”

“Why?” asked Harry.

“It saved my life,” said Ginny, softly. “You saved my life. I know that you are grieving right now, and that’s okay. Just don’t let that grief consume you. You’re slipping away from us and that scares us, more than anything.”

“I’m afraid,” said Harry. “I’m afraid to love again, because I’m afraid of losing someone I love, again.”

“But pushing your friends away won’t help you," said Ginny. “It will only cause you more pain in the long run. Love and loss forms you. All the emotions they bring you have given you the strength to survive this far and they’ll help you to survive to the end.”

“I don’t want to hurt anymore, Ginny,” Harry whispered, desperately.

“Then let us help you,” she said. “Let us look after you, and help you to move on. I’m not asking you to forget, just put it all behind you. You can do it, Harry, because you are surrounded by people who love you.”

“Who?” asked Harry.

“My mum and dad for a start. You are the seventh son they never had. To my brothers, you are their sixth brother, and extension of an already extensive family. And for Hermione, you are the brother she always wanted. We will all stand by you, Harry, no matter what. We’ve come this far and we’ll carry on until the end.”

“Why have you helped me, Ginny?” Harry asked. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Years ago,” said Ginny. “You saved my life. Now I have done my best to save yours. It is a life debt repaid.”

She stood up to leave, but Harry stopped her.

“The day you went missing was one of the worst days of my life,” he said. “I felt so helpless, knowing how to save you, but not being able. It never occurred to me not to try.”

Ginny smiled at him.

“I was so scared that you’d hate me when you found out what I’d done,” she said.

“It wasn’t you,” said Harry. “And besides, I could never hate you.”

He took her hand.

“You never told me in what way you love me,” Harry whispered, taking a tiny step closer.

“In what way do you want me to love you?” she asked, breathlessly.

Harry placed his finger under her chin and raised her face to his. Very slowly he lowered his face to hers and captured her lips in a kiss. It was only brief, but so very full of emotion.

“I have loved you for so long,” Harry said.

Ginny could feel tears stinging her eyes.

“I was just too afraid to tell you," said Harry. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t," Ginny said, placing her hand on his cheek. “And don’t try to push me away.”

“I don’t think I could," said Harry. “Not now.”

“Not ever," said Ginny sternly.

Harry smiled. He leaned forward and kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her.

“You must be freezing,” she said.

“It’s funny,” said Harry. “It’s the first time I’ve felt anything in such a long time. I don’t mind. I’d rather stay out here than go inside where everyone will try to talk to me.”

He pulled her close to him.

“I’m not ready to face everyone yet,” said Harry. “Just stay with me for a while.”

“I’ll be here forever, Harry," she whispered. “Forever.”















A/ N I think this was a bit different for me. It’s just a little random fic that I dreamed up one morning. It was supposed to be angst, but, once again I proved to myself that I can't do it and should stop trying altogether. For anyone who’s interested, I have begun working on the epilogue for 2000 Miles, but don’t ask how long it will take. I’m still feeling hyperactive after going to see Green Day, which was absolutely brilliant. (I used one of there song sin 2000 Miles). That’s just a bit of random information, but, I’ll shut up now. Please review!
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