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The Path to Ginny | ||||
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Category: Pre-OotP, Post-OotP, Post-HBP, Post-DH/AB Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, General, Romance Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 10 Summary: Harry's perspective of his relationship with Ginny and his journey to falling in love with her. Hitcount: Story Total: 4336 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: This is quite simply Harry's perspective of his relationship with Ginny. I know not everyone will agree my interpretation of his thoughts and feelings, but I do hope you enjoy what I have written. Bear in my mind I have not covered everything that is in the books. To be honest, I barely looked at the books as I wrote this, so hopefully it is a decent attempt! There will be a companion piece called The Path to Harry, which will be posted in the next few days. |
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You know, I feel incredibly lucky. After everything I have been through in my life, after everyone I have lost from my life, I feel incredibly lucky. I never thought a day like this would ever come. I never thought I would have a future or that I would get to fulfil my dreams. But somehow, today, I am standing here with my future ahead of me. I am standing here about to fulfil one of my dreams. Today, I am getting married to the woman of my dreams, the love of my life. Today, I am getting married to Ginny Weasley. Ginny. My Ginny. I am marrying the one person who truly understands me, the one person who can pull me out from one of my moods as quickly as I can fall into one. She is my equal, my dream and my future. But the path to this day was not easy. It was hard, not just for me, but for her as well. In all honesty, it probably is mainly my fault. It took me a long time to see what was right there in front of me. It took me a while to realise it was her that I needed all along, that it was her that would give me hope that I could have the future that I so desperately wanted. And when I finally realised, it hit me like a bludger to the head. But perhaps I should start at the beginning. Specifically, the day on which I first met her. The day I finally returned to the Wizarding World. The date was September 1st 1991. Not hard to forget. How could I? It was the day I began my schooling at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ok, so Ginny and I didn’t actually interact that day. I spoke to her mum, who helped me find my way onto Platform 9 ¾ and I spoke to her twin brothers, who helped me get my trunk onto the train. I also met another one of her six brothers, who would become my best mate. And while we may not have spoken, may not have interacted, I did notice her. Trust me, I noticed her. How could I not? She was this small and cute little thing, clutching onto her mother’s hand. And if you tell her I said that, well…..I don’t fancy being on the end of her infamous Bat Bogey Hex. I managed to avoid it so far, so let’s not start now! Anyway, back to what I was saying. I couldn’t help but be fascinated by her. She was from a family who so obviously loved each other so much and as a result she was in tears as her older brothers left for school on the train. I could tell she was going to miss them and I watched as she chased after the train as it left. I have to admit that it is one of my favourite memories of her, my sweet Ginny before her life changed dramatically thanks to the events of her first year at Hogwarts. But we will get to that shortly. I did see her briefly at the end of my first year, excited as she saw me approach her and her mum, but again we had no time to interact all thanks to my Uncle. Ok, I actually have a confession to make before we go any further. Despite how fascinated I was by her at the station, for the rest of my first year I forgot about her. I can’t help but look back now and wonder if perhaps I had written to her, would we have become friends sooner? Would I’ve realised that she was the one for me earlier? I’ll never know, but I know that not getting to know her sooner is one of my biggest regrets. Moving on….. The summer came along and well…..it wasn’t good, not until the Weasley boys came and rescued me from my relatives. And it was not long after I arrived at The Burrow that I finally got to meet Ginny properly. Ok, I am not so sure we can call it a meeting as such. It was more her realising I was there, blushing spectacularly and then making some squeaking noise before she ran away. It turned out she had this huge crush on me. Actually, not me, more like the Boy Who Lived. Neither one of us knew how to handle it, so we were unable to become friends. Looking back, I wouldn’t say I was embarrassed by it, more like I was overwhelmed. I hated the attention from others as it was, so I had no clue how to handle a girl with a crush on me. I had no idea how to approach her without her running away. I will never forget her sticking her elbow in the butter dish or even the singing valentine she sent me. Never mention those things in front of her by the way. But I do wish I could forget what the year to come would come to mean to both her and me. I’m not going to go into too much detail about that year. It’s not an easy one to talk about, more so for her than me. The short version is that Ginny was possessed by a diary that had been placed in her cauldron by Lucius Malfoy. She was forced into setting a basilisk on the students of Hogwarts. Amazingly, no one was killed. Eventually, the diary took full control of her and she was taken down into the legendary chamber built by Salazar Slytherin. For me, I had spent the year being accused of being the Heir of Slytherin. Going down into the Chamber to save Ginny was one of the worst days of my life. Seeing her there, just lying on the floor as the diary drained her life away to help Voldemort get back his body…..well it’s an image I will never get out of my head. I didn’t understand back then just what she meant to me. But even then she was important to me. She may not have been able to talk to me, but she definitely understood me. She proved that when she defended me against Draco Malfoy. It should have clicked then that she was perfect for me, but I was too young and too shocked that she had managed to speak in front of me. If I had lost her that day in the chamber, I highly doubt I would be standing here today. I don’t just mean because it is our wedding day. It is more because of how important she became in helping me defeat Voldemort. But we will get to that in a while. The next couple of years, my third and fourth at Hogwarts, we didn’t really interact all that much. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t ignore each other. It’s hard to do so when you have shared an experience no one else has. The opportunities to truly form a friendship were there, but neither of us took the chance. I can honestly hold my hand up and admit that I could have tried harder than I did. But I was a blind idiot who was caught up in his own problems. I know she was still dealing with the aftermath of the chamber at the beginning of my third year, but it didn’t stop us sharing a laugh at Percy’s expense. I could have taken the chance to speak to her after we both suffered at the hands of the Dementors who came on board the train looking for my Godfather. But I was in shock by what had happened and had this desperate need to understand the voices I had heard. But the biggest chance I had was the one I completely blew. I look back now and can see that I should have asked her to the Yule Ball that took place during my fourth year. It would have been the perfect chance to get to know her. It was too late by the time the idea was suggested to me as she had accepted the chance to go with our friend, Neville. I can’t say I was jealous because I wasn’t. I am glad that she had the opportunity to go and that she got to go with some who has become such a good friend to us. It was the summer before my fifth year when the relationship between us slowly but surely began to change. I couldn’t be more grateful as it came at a time when people had turned against me with a refusal to believe that Lord Voldemort had returned. I have always wondered how I managed to survive that year. The ministry was against me; a ministry sent teacher had me carving words in the back of my hand; Lord Voldemort was constantly in my head; and on top of all that, I was dealing with my first foray into dating. The worst part, though, was losing my godfather. The year all but nearly destroyed me. Hindsight can be bittersweet, but it can also be a wonderful thing. You see, when I look back on that year, I know that was the year that Ginny truly cemented her place in my life. I think perhaps it was also the year I began to fall for her. Now I know what you are going to say, how can I only now realise when looking back that it was then I began falling in love with her? Well it’s quite simple really. I was so caught up in my own problems that I just didn’t notice. Trust me, I have berated myself many, many times for my own stupidity for not noticing and I mean truly not noticing Ginny that year. Ginny was a truly amazing friend to me that year. She seemed to be the only person who could handle me and my moods, something even Hermione and Ron could not seem to do. She was able to get through to me when I was brooding and did not wish to talk to anyone, even if it was at her own personal expense. She was able to break through my defences and get me to open up, Trust me, that was a miracle in itself, just ask my best friends. She trusted me, believed in me, and had faith in me. She never doubted me or questioned me. She never needed to because she got me, understood me as she knew just how Voldemort could get into your head and twist everything. I also discovered just what a truly talented and powerful witch she was. She was one of the DA members who managed to produce a patronus before we were betrayed. She even managed to hold her own against the Death Eaters we faced when we were lured to the Department of Mysteries. Well, that was until she broke ankle! I think that was the night I first had an inkling that I may have feelings for her. Obviously, I pushed them aside though to concentrate on what was happening around us. However, the idea of Bellatrix Lestrange touching her, hurting her made me want and need to protect her. To be honest, that feeling has never gone away, even though I know Ginny is more than capable of protecting herself. But it was through the loss of my beloved godfather that really seem to bring us closer together. It was nothing specific that she did in particular to help me. It was just knowing that she was there if I needed to talk that helped more than anything. It was over the summer that we grew closer, that we actually finally got to know each other. Just spending time with her, Ron and Hermione helped me immensely to deal with my loss, something I always will be grateful for. It was during my sixth year and what would be my final year at Hogwarts when I finally realised that I had began falling for her. It still took time for me to actually admit it to myself, but there were still subtle clues up until that point. Like just how disappointed I felt when she chose to go and sit with her boyfriend, Dean, on the train. At the time, I shrugged it off as being because I had gotten so used to having her around. Well that was partially true, if you think about it. The night I realised my feelings for her was not the best night for those involved. Perhaps you have heard the story. Ron and I had caught her and Dean snogging in one of the secret passages we would use as a shortcut. Well, let’s just say there was a lot of anger, one hell of an argument and a certain amount of truths revealed in the heat of the moment. For me, it was the night that the monster in my chest was finally unleashed. It roared out in jealousy at what it was seeing. Yes, I was jealous! I wanted to be it to be me, not Dean, who she was wrapped around, kissing. From that day forward, she was constantly in my thoughts and my dreams. Any chance I got to spend time with her and talk to her, I would take it. When I couldn't, I would just watch her. Merlin, that sounds so creepy, doesn’t it? You are probably wondering why I didn't say anything to her about the way I felt. But there were a good number of reasons why I said nothing. Firstly, she had a boyfriend, Dean, who just so happened to be one of my room mates. I was not about to go up and admit my feelings on the off chance she would dump him to be with me. I am not the sort of person who would purposefully break up a couple. Plus she seemed happy and I was not going to be the one who ruined her happiness. Secondly, there was the little issue of Ron, my best mate and her overly protective brother. The way he had reacted when we caught Dean and Ginny snogging…..well, let's just say it would be enough to scare anyone off. I honestly did not want to lose my best mate over a girl, especially one that was his sister. Third and finally, I was rubbish with girls. I had, at that point in time, only one kiss with a girl who was crying. Then there was the one disastrous date with the same girl. I didn't have a clue how to even begin to tell Ginny how I felt. On top of that, while I knew she used to have a crush on me, I didn't even know if she still had feelings for me. So what was I to do? It was not until the spring that my luck began to change. It started with Ginny breaking up with Dean. I think you can guess just how happy that made me feel. It did until I discovered that it was something I did that caused the argument that led to their break up. I cannot tell you how much it pleased me to discover this. I know that sounds bad, but trust me, there is a reason. You see, at the beginning of the school year, I won a small vial of Felix Felicis. Simply put, liquid luck. I used a small amount of it to help me to get some information I needed. Just after I had taken it, I was under my invisibility cloak leaving the common room, when I accidentally knocked into Ginny, who happened to be entering at the same time. Well, let’s just say Dean was right behind her and we’ll leave it at that. I didn’t make a move to tell her how I felt after I found out the news of her break up. I did make the effort to spend time with her, but I didn’t think it was completely appropriate to immediately ask her out. But at the same time, I knew if I left it too long, I would lose the chance to some other guy. My opportunity came after the Quidditch Cup Final. I had landed myself in detention and Ginny had taken over as seeker for me. I arrived back at the Gryffindor Tower to find a party in full swing as we had won. Next thing I know Ginny had ended up in my arms and I was kissing her. For a few weeks, in the midst of the darkness that the war had brought, I was happy, genuinely happy for once in my life. It was hard for me to wipe the ridiculously goofy smile off my face. Gossip and rumours did not bother me in the way they had before, making it so much easier for me to ignore anything that had been said. And it was all down to one person: Ginny. I apologise now, but I may just get a bit sappy now. It did not take me very long into our relationship to realise that my feelings for her were very deep and strong. At the time, I couldn’t label it, but I know now that I had already fallen in love with her. In those few weeks, she brought light, love and laughter into my world. She gave me a sense of normality and allowed me to be just Harry. Every moment we spent together, I loved and cherished, because she was easy to be with, it felt natural. I am someone who was never good when it came to girls. If they are crying, I want to run away. If they said something with a double meaning, I would never get it. I never knew when it was the right time to just reach out and take a girl’s hand. But with Ginny, it was never like that. Then the world fell apart and everything went wrong. Professor Dumbledore was killed right in front of me after we arrived back from a task needed to help in the defeat of Voldemort and after the school had been infiltrated by Death Eaters. I was left torn as what to do when it came to my relationship with Ginny. I didn’t want to let her go. She had become a huge part of me and she was my best source of comfort. And yet, knowing I needed to finish the task that Dumbledore had started, I knew I could not stay with her if she was going to survive the war. I needed her to live more than anyone. Not that I fully understood my feelings at the time. But I did what I always do best, I pushed her away. I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had no choice but to. Ginny, being the amazing person that she was and still is, graciously accepted and understood why I needed to do it. We never said it, we didn’t need to, but there was an unspoken agreement between us that what we had shared in those few weeks was not truly over. It was just on hold until I had done what I needed to do: Defeat Voldemort and survive. The moment I walked away from her, I instantly regretted it. My resolve over my decision was tested many times over the next year, but I managed, just barely, to retain it. I have to say, I was amazed her family did not seem to know about our relationship or least did not appear to know. It helped a bit when I was moved to The Burrow. I didn’t have to worry about six, well it was five at the time, older brothers breathing down my neck, threatening to hex me. It helped immensely that Ginny did not allow our decision, ok, my decision to affect her too badly. She is a strong and tough witch, something she proved numerous times over that awful year. It was on my 17th birthday, the day before all hell broke loose, that she gave me the best birthday present and what would become an extremely powerful and happy memory. It was so simple and so perfect. It was a kiss. Yes, I said a kiss. I nearly lost my resolve right there and then when she kissed me. She made the whole world disappear from around us. She made me forget what I needed to do. All the while, she made sure that in that one kiss I knew just how she felt about me. Obviously I made sure to do the same. But the world flooded back in when Ron barged into the room. It always makes me wonder what would have happened had he not done so. Would I have told her that I loved her? Would we have taken our relationship to the next level and made love to one another? Would we have made promises to one another that we may not have been able to keep? I don’t know, but there are just too many what ifs to worry about. But the one thing that the kiss we shared did do for me was to make sure I did not try to deny my feelings for her and made it so I could acknowledge that my feelings ran so much deeper than I ever expected. And that was a good thing, an important thing. Even though I was in disguise as Cousin Barney, thanks to Polyjuice Potion, at the wedding, it did not stop me from making sure that people knew she was taken. Ok, it was only one person: Viktor Krum. Can you blame me though? He was a famous international Quidditch star and while we had become friends, there was no way I was going to let him make a move on my witch. Jealousy is not a good emotion to have! Still, I made it clear that she had a big, scary boyfriend. I just forgot to mention that it was me though. Not that I needed to worry, neither of us would ever betray the other in that way, even if we were not officially together. No one else had a chance with either of us from the moment we first kissed in the common room. We both knew that, even if we had never said it to one another. Anyway, the next thing I know, everything had gone to hell. The Ministry had fallen, Death Eaters had crashed the wedding and I, along with Ron and Hermione, had escaped the wedding. I hated leaving her like that. I felt like I had personally left her at the mercy of Tom’s minions. So all I could do was worry about her and hope that she was fine and that she was safe. And that was what I continued to do while I was on the run. Even with everything I needed to focus on, my thoughts and dreams would stray to her often. She had firmly lodged herself in my heart and she was going nowhere. So I would worry about her. When I knew Snape and the Carrows would be in charge of Hogwarts, I was worried. When I found out she tried to steal the sword of Gryffindor, I was worried. I don’t think I really stopped until I knew she was in hiding with her family at her Aunt Muriel’s. All I knew was that if anyone needed to survive this war, it was her. I was completely and hopelessly in love with her, I still am, and if she didn’t survive, then life just wouldn’t be worth living. So I took to watching her dot on the Marauder’s Map. I would stare for so long and so hard that I would hope and pray that I was somehow breaking into her thoughts and dreams. And as a result, she would know I was thinking of her constantly. I don’t think it happened, I didn’t ask and she never said. The next time I saw her was in the Room of Requirement, not long before the final battle began. I had never been so happy and less pleased to see her. Maybe I was being selfish in wanting her to leave and to stay safe, but I stand by what I said before, I needed her to survive more than anyone. Don’t get me wrong, she was a sight for sore eyes. Just seeing her give me that smile I love so much gave me a boost of confidence in that perhaps I could do this and survive. But at the same time, I didn’t want to be worrying about her. In the end, it was decided she would stay in the room, where she would be safe, but still close by to know what was happening. But that didn’t work out either as we needed to access the Room of Hidden Things and so she ended up joining the fight. Just what I needed, her fighting and me worrying. I was relieved that she did survive, but I was devastated for her and her family when Fred died. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I couldn’t. It was all too much, too much pain and guilt. That was until I discovered that I had to die so that we could win. You need to understand that once I understood what I had to do, I never doubted whether or not I would do it. The simple fact was that I had been marked for death by Voldemort when he had first tried to kill me as a baby. I needed to die so he could be killed, so there was no doubt in my mind as to what I would do. Except until I saw Ginny as I made my way to the Forbidden Forest. She was there helping an injured girl, comforting her as best as she could. Just seeing her there, tested me to my limits. How could I ever leave her? All I wanted to do was to take off my cloak and ask her to run away with me. I was so close to doing so, but I didn’t. I had to walk into the forest and do what was asked of me, especially if it meant giving her the chance to live in a free world. So that’s what I did. I walked into the forest, stood in front of Voldemort and took the killing curse for her and everyone else in the castle. And my last thoughts were of her. If I didn’t know by that point that I loved her, then I did by the time that curse was heading for me. She was all I could think about in that moment. My love for her kept me standing; it kept me from defending myself. Then, unexpectedly, I was told I could return. I knew I needed to so I could finish Tom once and for all. But mainly it was for Ginny, so I could be with Ginny. As much as I wanted to be with my parents and Sirius, I couldn’t leave her, not when I was being given the chance to be with her. I knew what my death would do to her if I didn’t return, because it would be the same for me if she was one who had died. So I returned. For her. Her screams when she believed I was dead nearly tore me apart. I was so close to blowing my cover just so I could tell and show her and the others that I was fine, that I was alive. I hated that I had to pretend to be dead just so I could get back to the castle. I did not have much time to decide on a plan, so her reaction was not considered. Had there been any way to warn her of what I had to do, I would have. I got a flash of understanding after fighting broke out again. Seeing a killing curse, sent by Bellatrix Lestrange, miss her by an inch was enough to make me forget Tom for just a moment. I changed direction with the intention of going after Bellatrix because I was so damn angry that she had nearly killed my Ginny. But as I’m sure you’ve heard, Molly Weasley got there first and destroyed her. Then it came down to just me and Tom and one rebounded curse later and it was over. It was finally over and I had survived. Ginny had survived and I knew I could finally be with her. It was a few hours after Tom had fallen for the last time that we finally reunited. Just being able to hold her in my arms, being able to kiss her and finally being able to tell her that I was so completely in love with her made everything we had been through worth the pain it had caused us. I had fought entire war just so I could be with her and she had waited for me with such a strong belief that I would come back for her. My Ginny. She is the reason that I was able to win the war. It’s been three years since we won the war and I am now the happiest I have ever been. It took time though to get to this point. The first couple of months were hard for both of us, but being with each other helped tremendously. We supported each other, gave one another comfort when it was needed, but more importantly we talked. About everything. For someone like me, it was hard to do so. But I wanted Ginny to know everything. I felt I owed it to her to be honest and open with her. So I was and so was she. Our relationship strengthened as a result. While I will still turn to Ron and Hermione, I will always go to Ginny now when I need to talk. I trust her more than anyone in my life; love her more than anyone else. The simple fact is that Ginny is my world, my life. I love her more than life itself. I would move Heaven and Earth just to make her happy. And I know that she would do the same for me. And now I am about to marry her. The one person who has always believed in me, had faith in me, who has been loyal to me and has always trusted me. And quite honestly, I have never been happier. And it is all thanks to my beautiful Ginny. Or as she is about to become known: Ginevra Molly Potter. |
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