Thank you Arnel!
I knoooooowwww it's been forever but the worst part of my year for my paying work is over with so PHEW! I should be able to make a chapter a month for at least a few months. We're trucking right along.
I hope you like this chapter, and as always thank you for reading and reviewing!
If you'd like to see my other work, check out Sarah Jaune on amazon or come follow me on Facebook and Twitter where I never update either because at least I'm consistent.
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The Space Between | ||||||
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Category: Post-Hogwarts, Post-DH/AB, Post-DH/PM Characters:All Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Fluff, General, Humor, Tragedy Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Disturbing Imagery, Extreme Language, Intimate Sexual Situations, Mental Abuse, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Negative Alcohol Use, Rape, Sexual Situations, Spouse/Adult/Child Abuse, Violence, Violence/Physical Abuse Rating: R Reviews: 584 Summary: Harry and Ginny's lives have finally evened out. They've faced trauma, and loss, more than most have, but they've fought hard to find a normal. If only things could stay that way... Old enemies find new ways to seek revenge. This story is the sequel to Bound. It would be extremely helpful if you read that first. Warnings are to be safe. It's probably overkill. Please message me if you have any questions or concerns. Hitcount: Story Total: 353390; Chapter Total: 4151 Awards: View Trophy Room Author's Notes: |
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Life didn’t go back to normal after twelve people were killed in a mass terror attack. It wasn’t as though the public suddenly forgot everything that had happened and moved onto who the singer, Catia Cadence, was dating this month, and what might have happened to the fourth husband. Harry almost wished the celebrity would marry the next husband already, just to get them off his back. The press was all over the story, demanding answers to the hardest questions because Harry couldn’t tell them what they wanted to know. He blinked in the flashes of lights and the bulbs going off in his face as he held up his hands and waited them out, refusing to answer a single shouted question. “I’m going to read my statement and then I will answer a few questions,” he said when silence finally fell. “Who is behind this?!” someone shouted from the crowd. Harry glanced mildly towards them, not saying a word until the man faltered and lowered is hand. He glanced back down at his prepared statement, which was short and to the point. “The Ministry has conducted a full investigation and has concluded the tracks were able to be bombed because the magical protection around them had been removed. We were not aware that this vulnerability was possible. We have taken steps to ensure it cannot happen again and will more routinely monitor these types of infrastructure that have been in place. We do not have a suspect in custody from the magical community, but we have learned that the bomb was placed by Muggle terrorists and they have all been arrested and remanded to the custody of the Muggle police with the assurances that they will not be released. We will monitor the situation. Thank you, and I will take a few questions.” He ignored the repeated questions of how they’d learned the magic had been removed from the track, and answered instead the question of their suspicions on who was causing the problems. “Isabella Crabbe has been the one leading most of the recent problems. She is currently out of the country and we have not secured permits from the country she is hiding in to go and apprehend her.” He didn’t want to add that even if they were to obtain said permit, odds were good they wouldn’t be able to catch her. She was just too good. “Has everyone been released from hospital?” “Yes,” Harry confirmed. The last injured child had gone home the day before, although not back to school. She’d been about to start her first year and her parents, Muggles, had decided to bring her home instead. Harry had spoken to them personally and they’d said they would consider allowing her to attend Hogwarts the next year, but they weren’t ready to send her off just then. He honestly couldn’t blame them in the least. “She went home yesterday.” One of the rare lulls fell in the reporters just as someone shouted out, clear as a bell, “How did you know the magic had been removed from the tracks?” Harry considered ending the press conference then, but knew that avoiding the question was going to cause more problems than it would solve. “The only way the tracks could have been blown up is if the magic was removed. We have a few who are skilled at detecting such things. We are the Ministry of Magic, after all. It was confirmed after the crash. Thank you for your time,” he said firmly and took the scroll to leave the press behind to head back into the relative sanity of the inner workings of the Ministry. “You did well,” the Minister said as she waited for him down the hall. “I didn’t do well,” Harry told her bitterly. “I missed the fact that she was behind this and the train was the Hogwarts Express. That’s not exactly a stellar job performance.” She was silent as they made their way towards her large office. They passed her secretary, who pretended not to notice them, and continued to the nicely appointed room. Under previous ministers, it had been all hardwoods and dark décor. The seats had been hard to sit in and the room unwelcoming. Now it was brighter and more comfortable, something Harry personally appreciated. “Have a seat,” the Minister said to him as she pointed to one of the arm chairs near her unlit fire. She sat across from him and crossed her ankles. “The bombing would have happened no matter who had held your job.” “Dumbledore would have caught it,” Harry pointed out dryly. “Yes,” the Minister nodded slowly. “Yes, he probably would have, but he’s dead, and he never wanted this job anyway. I’m absolutely confident that you are the best person for this job. I have no one more qualified and absolutely no one who wants your job. As pissed as they are, everyone still remembers the chaos of what happened with my predecessor and the short time you weren’t in your post. The public wants you there.” He remembered Hagrid telling Dumbledore, once, that not everyone wanted him to be a teacher. Some people thought him a monster. It was true in this situation. Overall, Harry had heard nothing but positive messages from the public who still remembered him as a hero and a good leader. Even from a few of the parents who had lost children, there had been nothing but kind words. But not every parent. A few of them blamed him and he’d met with every single couple. He’d let them shout at him. He’d witnessed their tears, their misery, and their anger. Then he’d told them the story of Vincent Crabbe in the Room of Requirement. He’d told them the story of Isabella Crabbe and what she’d done to him, to Ginny, to Hope. He’d told them about how Crabbe was still out to get him. Yes, he was the reason this crazy woman had arranged for the bombing of the train, but not why they thought she had. He’d met with the last set of grieving parents that morning and even now Ginny was working on a statement to release to the press about what had happened to them. She was writing out the full story. He’d asked only one thing of those parents, and every single one had agreed. He’d asked them to keep the story quiet until he could tell Lily because she still didn’t know. He hadn’t told the parents to gain their sympathy, but it had become a byproduct anyway. Harry had been targeted his whole life by crazy psychopaths out for his blood. Even in their grief, everyone else could see that, too. But tonight he had to talk to Lily and it was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done. “Are you sure you are ready to go public?” the Minister asked softly. Harry shook his head. “No, but it needs to be done. She’s more powerful this way and I need to bring it out into the light.” The Minister nodded and handed over a plate of biscuits he hadn’t noticed. He thought of his daughter as he took a bite and wondered just what the evening would bring. By the time Harry made it home, Ginny had finished their statement for the press. She passed him a sandwich, which he ate as he changed out of his Auror robes and into regular clothes, and then went silently with her to the fireplace to go to Hogwarts. Goldstein was expecting them. “I have a room set up for you and I’ve called your children to wait for you there,” Anthony said as he reached out to shake Harry’s hand by way of greeting. His face was grim as he led them out of the Headmaster’s office and down the hall to a smaller room set with a roaring fire and a couple of comfortable couches. Harry took in the sight of his children… all of them. He blinked in surprise as he registered Teddy sitting on the sofa with Lily, his arm around her as she snuggled into him. James stood at the window, his back to them and his arms crossed. Even from across the room Harry could see the rigid set of his shoulders. “Teddy…” Ginny breathed out. “I’m glad you could make it.” Harry understood, then. Ginny had arranged it and he realized it was a smart move. Lily would need all of them. She felt things so deeply, so intensely, and this was going to hurt her straight to her core. “I’ll leave you to it,” the Headmaster said as he closed the door. Harry turned and sealed the door to keep out listening ears as he heard Al ask what was going on. “Please sit,” Ginny whispered as she took a seat on the other sofa while James and Al each took an arm chair. His wife’s eyes tracked him as he moved to sit with her, to take her hand, meshing their fingers together. They had had a tense several weeks, but Harry felt a knot in his stomach loosen at the connection of her hand in his. At the base of it all, there was this. He still had the love of the best woman he knew and he could count on her to be with him through the worst things life could throw at them. “Something is wrong,” Lily said from under Teddy’s protective arm as she studied their faces, her mouth pulled into lines of worry and fear. “What’s wrong?” “We have to tell you a story, Lils,” Harry explained gently. “No one is hurt or dead, that’s the first thing you need to understand.” She waited a beat and then said again, “But something is wrong.” “Something went wrong long before you were born,” Ginny agreed as her voice cracked and her fingers tightened in his. Harry picked up on her tension and took the lead on telling the story. “Right after the war we went to many funerals of all of the people who had fallen. Your mum was sixteen and I was seventeen.” He took a deep breath as his pulse kicked up. His daughter’s expression was still confused, but James and Al had cottoned on to what they were about to tell her and neither of them appeared pleased. “Why are we doing this now?” James demanded quietly, sitting forward to stare at them. “We have to release a statement to the public,” Harry replied evenly. James opened his mouth again, but Teddy cut him off. “It needs to be done, James,” the young man told him. “You don’t know what it’s like out there, but this needs to be done and Lily needs to know, now. It’s time.” “She’s not ready,” Al pointed out with a hard note to his tone. “No, she’s not,” Ginny agreed. They all turned back to see a tear slide down her cheek. “I’m not ready for her to know, but it’s time.” Harry studied Lily’s small face and the worry in her eyes. Putting it off was not helping her in any way. “We were very young, Lily.” “Mum was only three years older than I am now,” Lily pointed out. Harry blinked as the realization hit him hard. What had Ginny been like at thirteen? Nothing like Lily. “I was a different kind of kid,” Ginny told her. “I’d grown up with six older brothers who vacillated between ignoring me, torturing me, and overprotecting me. I was rebellious and stubborn. You’re not.” “No,” Lily agreed as she glanced up to Teddy who was now in his mid-twenties. She studied him and he studied her and then she nodded. “Alright, I’m ready. Tell me the worst.” So Harry did. “We were at Severus Snape’s funeral when someone tried to kill us with a Blood Boiling Hex,” he explained. “While we were in hospital, a woman named Isabella Crabbe used me to impregnate your mum.” He let the silence ride as Lily took it in. “Why would she do that?” “Her son died when he set off a fire curse in the Room of Requirement,” Ginny informed her. “She’d had a hard life and the only good thing in it was her moronic son. She was already half-crazy when he died, but this pushed her over the edge. Even though it wasn’t your dad’s fault, Isabella blamed your dad for all of it.” Lily nodded slowly as though any of this insanity made sense. “This is how Hope was conceived?” “Yes,” Harry went on with a sigh. “Teddy was an infant at the time, and your mum received an owl from the Ministry informing her we would have to be married.” Lily’s eyes went wide before they closed tight and she sunk into Teddy even further. “Oh.” “Your mum was really, really sick. Although we didn’t know it, Crabbe had also poisoned us. She intended for us to lose a child, like she had, and then hopefully die from the poison. Your Aunt Audrey figured it out, though, and cured me. Your mum wasn’t totally cured, and what we didn’t know at the time is that the poison was still in the placenta, which is the thing that feeds the baby,” Harry explained as calmly as his jumping heart would allow. “Your mum and I were married… and then we were burying your sister when she died.” Lily didn’t make a sound as the silent tears began to rain down her cheeks. “We were…” Harry turned to Ginny and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. “We were devastated. We’d lost so much. We were still young, although by this point I was eighteen and your mum was seventeen.” He took a deep breath and looked back to his children. Teddy’s jaw was set as he held onto Lily. James’ face was full of rage just below the surface and Harry knew it was hiding a deep well of pain. Al was sad, but quietly so. He was resigned as he sat back in his seat and waited for the rest to be told. And Lily… Lily kept crying, but she didn’t move to them. She stayed where she was, but he suspected it wouldn’t last long. “Then Crabbe kidnapped your mum,” Harry told her. “She was able to get away and Crabbe went on the run. We’ve been after her ever since, but she’s the reason for all the security. She’s the one behind all of the things that have gone wrong over the last however many years.” He took a deep breath and waited a full two seconds before he let it out. “She’s going to be after you.” Lily nodded slowly as she took the handkerchief Teddy offered her and blew her nose. “She hurt you two.” Yes. Yes, of course Crabbe had hurt them, but he’d have taken all of it on again to spare her, to spare Ginny… to spare Hope. “I’m not worried about myself.” “You’re worried about me,” Lily concluded. A second later she was up and in his arms with her arms around his neck as she sobbed anew. He held onto her and wished he could keep her this small forever. It took a good ten minutes to get her quieted down, but when she was, she stayed in his lap with her head on her shoulder as he explained his plan for keeping her safe. “You won’t be allowed out without an adult, Lily. You won’t be allowed on your own away from the house or school. Aunt Hermione and Uncle George have come up with more Portkey items of clothing that you can activate to get away if you are taken, and you will wear at least one of them at all times.” Lily was not Ginny and she proved it by saying, “That’s a good plan.” Harry and Ginny left with Teddy an hour later, after having escorted the kids back to the Gryffindor common room. “When is the story being published?” Teddy asked as they reached the staircase to the Headmaster’s office. “Tomorrow,” Ginny told him as her exhaustion spoke volumes through the single word. “I’m so glad the only thing I have to be tomorrow is Grandmum.” They both hugged Teddy before heading up the steps. Their whole lives were about to be exposed and it was going to hurt as the wounds were revealed. ~*~ James, Al, and Lily climbed in through the portrait hole and spotted everyone waiting for them in the otherwise deserted common room. Caroline, Honor, Rose, Hugo, and Scorpius all sat around the fire. Everyone’s head snapped around to meet them as James moved to sit with Caroline, barely noticing when the dog shifted to make room for his feet. They all sat, the silence and tension building, before James started to tell the story. He felt Caroline’s fingers go cold in his hand. She knew the story, of course, but he hadn’t told her about Lily’s part in it. Actually, he hadn’t known Lily’s part in it until tonight. When he’d heard his parents needed to talk to them, and they’d found Teddy waiting for them, he’d known what was going to happen. He hadn’t wanted it, but life wasn’t about what he wanted. He’d done his best to stay stoic. He was glad they’d all been there to help Lily’s through it. Now they would have to protect Lily at all costs. “She’s my aunt,” Scorpius said angrily as he pushed to his feet and strode over to the fire, resting his forearm on the mantle and leaning his forehead into it. “I’m so sorry.” “It’s not your fault,” Lily said. James watched her stand and take his arm, pulling him back to the couches. He could tell Scorpius didn’t want to go, but he followed Lily anyway. It was such a Lily thing that he couldn’t help but smile, until he remembered someone was out to hurt her. Why couldn’t Crabbe pick on him instead? Why Lily? Why this sweet kid? “We’ll look after you,” Hugo promised her. “We’re going to keep you safe.” “I know,” Lily said calmly as she smiled tremulously at him. “It will be fine.” But even as she said it, tears began to flow down her face in torrents as her shoulders shook. He was up and out of his chair in a flash, kneeling before her to hug her tightly. He was the oldest here, at least as far as the siblings. He felt it keenly now. James was turning seventeen in three days. He’d be an adult then. Maybe he should rethink Quidditch and be an Auror instead. He’d be able to protect her better that way. “I’m scared.” His eyes jerked back to his sister as she spoke in a whisper. “I don’t want to be hurt,” Lily admitted with a hiccup. “I don’t… I don’t know how to be strong against something like this. So I’ll be careful and I’ll do what I’m told. I’m happy to stay with someone at all times, but I’m worried that one of you may get hurt if you’re protecting me.” “No one is going to mind that,” Al informed her quickly. “We’ll all worry about each other, okay?” They all went to bed a few minutes later but James didn’t know why he even bothered. One of his friends wasn’t there anymore. They had an empty bed in their dormitory and the loss of Jace was something he knew they all felt acutely. James, Louis, and Caroline had all gone to his funeral with Bill as an escort for them. James stared up at the canopy above him and willed himself not to cry. He wanted to stay angry. Anger was so much easier, but it was hard to hold onto when really he was sad and scared straight down to his toes. He sighed heavily and rolled onto his side. Eventually he slept. The story didn’t come out, but they had an owl from their parents saying it was coming soon. All of their owls had died in the train explosion, so their parents had given them money to get another one in Hogsmeade over the Hogsmeade weekend in October, but James hadn’t had the heart to tell them none of them were going. Most of their things from the train had had to be replaced, anyway, so everything they had was new. The comforting and familiar were gone. It was only by stupid, blind luck that the Marauder’s Map and his dad’s Invisibility Cloak hadn’t been lost. In his mother’s insanity to get them packed that morning, James had left them on his bed. He’d lost his broom, though, but he had a new one. It wasn’t the top of the line, but he didn’t need top of the line to fly well. That was skill, not a broom. They’d all decided it was more important to stick around the castle for the Hogsmeade weekend and not give Crabbe any reason to suppose she could snag Lily. Lily didn’t mind, of course. She was so easy going about the whole thing that James was starting to wonder if they were actually related. If he’d been him, he’d have already left the castle simply because he couldn’t stay cooped up. His birthday rolled around without much fanfare, which was what he’d asked for. Lily made a card for him, which he propped on his night bedside table, and Caroline gave him a book on Quidditch he’d been eyeing for months, but he went to bed that night as an adult, thankful the big day was over and nothing more terrible had happened. Then the news article had broken about what had happened to his parents. James hadn’t been sure what he’d expected from the other students at the school, but it was not even close to what really happened. One or two kids had shot him looks of pity or derision. Once or twice it was mentioned by the Slytherins that the Potters had been forced to marry, but it was quickly stamped out by the waves of students who showed nothing but care and concern for them. There was some well-meant pity in there, which irked James, but everyone knew his parents had been a couple before the war. Their love story had even been made into a book which is aunt had informed him was only slightly accurate. So, when the facts were laid out, the magical community had surrounded them. The delay in publication of the story had come at the expense of laying out what Isabella Crabbe was doing. The Minister had read Ginny’s piece on their story and had decided that the rest of the wizarding public needed to know most, but not all, of the details of all of her crimes. It wasn’t very long until the rumor was going around that Crabbe’s ultimate goal was to grab Lily. They were right, of course, but it wasn’t proven. Even his parents didn’t know, not for certain, what she had in mind. However, everyone else took it for the truth and with Lily’s tiny, perfect face splashed all over the covers of every newspaper and magazine, screaming about how this child was being targeted by a psychopath, it was fair to say that the school closed in ranks around her. Lily inspired that sort of thing. Nat was smaller, by a good bit, but Lily was… James wouldn’t say she was fragile, but it almost seemed as though she was simply by her nature. He couldn’t have explained it to anyone, but he knew everyone was keeping an eye out. To his surprise, this even included the Slytherins, or at least most of them. Some people would always be berks, but most of them understood the risks. They’d all been targeted on the train. They’d all lost house mates to that crazy woman. They were all at risk. Of course, some still grumbled that they should just hand Lily over to Crabbe so she’d leave the rest of them alone, but those people quickly found themselves unable to open their mouths without making barn animal sounds, so the talk didn’t last long. Lily held up. She simply held up while the rest of the world went insane all around them. Rose predicted that public sentiment would shift, as it always did, towards blaming Lily or persecuting her for some reason and sure enough the weekend before the October Hogsmeade trip an article came out with disparaging words about Lily. James didn’t read it, knowing it would only make him see red, but Rose said it was rubbish. The response from the wizarding community was unanimous and swift; they would not take it. Letters to the editor poured in until The Daily Prophet retracted the previous article with an apology. The weekend of Hogsmeade came and it was still bright and sunny out, the perfect day to go out to the Quidditch field and play around, which was exactly what they did. All of them. The entire school showed up to play in fifteen minute pick-up games, organized into teams by Rose and Andrew while the rest of the school cheered them on. It was one of the best days in James’ life. ~*~ Teddy shifted Emma from one arm to the other as he grabbed a cream puff from the platter Ginny had just set out for the family dinner they were having. Emma made a grab for it but he popped it in his mouth and noisily kissed her cheek to distract her from wanting it. “Here you go, lamb,” Ginny said as she held out a dried apple slice for Emma to chew on. She had teeth coming in and the chewy apples were her current favorite. She smiled lovingly at the baby and touched her blonde hair gently before turning a steely gaze to Teddy. “Stay out of them.” He grinned impishly. “I’m the holder of the grandchild.” Ginny let out a short laugh and shook her head. “I can’t argue with that but stay out of them. You’ll ruin your appetite.” “I’m too old for that, you know,” Teddy said as Harry walked up and went for a cream puff, only to get his hand smacked. “You’ll ruin your appetite,” Ginny told her husband. The fact that she didn’t crack seriously impressed Teddy. Harry sighed heavily even as he leaned in to kiss his wife, only to snatch a pastry while he was kissing her. “Fanks,” he mumbled after popping it into his mouth. She rolled her eyes and but shook her head. “Unless you’re going to make more, you’re done.” “Fair enough,” Harry agreed as Emma babbled to get his attention. He took the baby from Teddy and nuzzled his nose into her sweet-smelling neck. “You are the best remedy for a terrible day, Emma.” Teddy watched his surrogate father holding his daughter and felt the smallest pang that his own parents would never meet Emma, never hold her. It didn’t happen often anymore. He’d felt it more when he’d been a child and living with his grandmother. She’d loved him with all of her heart, and she’d done her best for him. He still missed her terribly and wished like hell they could officially solve her murder, rather than assuming it was Crabbe. They didn’t have any proof, of course, and the trail had long since gone cold. His grandmother would have loved Emma. She’d have loved to see him married and happy. In her absence, though, he’d grown even closer to Harry and Ginny and it felt like things had fallen into place for him. He had parents, in every sense that mattered. Before Emma he might have felt guilty about it, but he knew in his heart his grandmother would have wanted him to find this peace in himself. Unconditional love for his child was the center of everything. If something happened to him, or to Victoire, he wanted Emma to have parents who would adore her as much as Harry and Ginny loved him. He wouldn’t want her to feel like she had less. “When is Victoire off her shift?” Ginny wondered. Teddy glanced to his pocket watch and noted the time. “She should be here any minute.” Within the hour the house was full of family. Arthur and Molly sat at the kitchen table, holding hands and beaming at the grown portion of their brood as everyone tucked into their meal. It was a happy meal, which Teddy treasured, because the conversation to follow was not going to be pleasant. As soon as pudding was served, a hush fell over the crowded table they’d magically stretched to hold everyone except Uncle Charlie, who was still in Romania. “The press has been digging,” Harry said into the silence. “They aren’t finding much, but they’re still looking. I went to see the kids yesterday to check in on them and they’re holding up. The whole school appears to be rallying around Lily, trying to keep her safe. It’s rather remarkable, actually.” Teddy didn’t think it was surprising. Lily was Lily… she had that effect on people. His wife was the most beautiful woman in the world, but Lily was… it was almost ethereal. Part of her charm was her unbelievably sweet nature. “I’ve been asked for interviews several times,” Teddy told them. “Me, too,” Molly pipped in as her sister, Lucy, nodded in agreement. “I think we all have,” Arthur sighed heavily. “They should know we’re not going to cooperate, but it’s their job to ask. I can’t fault them for it.” “I can,” Fred muttered darkly. “Dad and I have had them in the shop a couple of times this week.” “You made them sorry for it, though,” Angelina laughed as she patted her son’s hand. “Growing a second head that whistles shrilly was absolutely brilliant.” It broke the tension and everyone laughed. Harry was still smiling as he went on. “The point is we need to stay vigilant. We are going to be as careful as we can, but I want everyone to assume they can be a target. Keep an eye out for anything and try to limit the times and places you can be taken, especially the girls.” Everyone digested that for a long moment. “Uh,” Molly cleared her throat and gazed to her uncle. “My boyfriend, Brayden… he asked about getting screened or whatever you want to clear him.” Everyone stared at her, especially her parents. “He hasn’t spoken to me about–” Percy began but Molly cut him off. “He will, Dad!” she protested instantly. “But he doesn’t even want to bother until everyone is convinced he’s not a criminal out to hurt us. He said that seemed like the logical first step.” “You’re talking marriage?” Audrey asked Molly. Molly’s face went as red as her hair as she glanced down at her empty plate. “It’s something we’re talking about. I’m in a good place at work, and so is he.” “Do you love him?” Gran Molly asked gently. Her whole face lit up as she turned to her namesake. “I really do. He’s… he loves me for who I am, and yet makes me want to be a better person. It’s wonderful.” Teddy knew that feeling all too well as he reached under the table to take his wife’s hand. She inspired him every minute of every day. It was magical. He was happy for Molly and really hoped the guy was everything she needed. “We should all meet him.” “I’ll clear him,” Harry told her. Then at a scowl from his brother-in-law he turned to Percy. “I know this goes against the grain, but I have to be sure of him for all of our sakes.” “Knock it off, Perce,” Bill said before taking a drink of his wine. “You know he’s right. Having already married off one child, I can tell you it’s not easy letting go no matter what the circumstances.” Emma, who was sitting next to Teddy in a high chair, threw her toy across the table and barely missed knocking over Ginny’s glass. Everyone laughed, much to Teddy and Victoire’s chagrin as Emma clapped in delight at all the attention. “But then you get grandkids,” Bill pointed out, “and you realize it was worth it.” ~*~ November blew in with a freak freeze that blanketed the grounds for three days, but thawed again just as quickly after with a scowl constantly on Scorpius’ heart. There had been this girl in Slytherin and she’d asked him out. Bold, but he didn’t mind bold. He’d said yes, though, and he still couldn’t understand why he’d done that. Something was wrong with his heart. He loved the wrong people, or so it seemed to him. He loved and trusted his aunt, but she let him down time and again. The last time had been the train, but of course if she had showed up on time he might have been killed in the explosion. He kept loving her, trusting her, hoping for things he didn’t know how to express. And she was never going to be what he wanted or needed. Then there were his parents. His mother loved him, and his father… he didn’t know. His father was talking about various family connections they could make for him in order to boost the family’s standing in the world. They were well off, but not as well off as they had been before the war. Reparations had to be made for his grandfather, and his father being Death Eaters. Both had served jail time, of course. Connections… Scorpius was being considered as a prize to be offered up for marriage to some girl in order to set their family back on the right path. It brought him back to the girl from Slytherin. She was one of the girls from one of the families his father had put on the short list of potential wives for him. He had a few years yet, since this was only his fifth year, but they were already planning. Always planning. He was a pawn to his father and his mother was too spineless to step into the game. And he’d said yes to this girl he didn’t care anything about and didn’t particularly like. She was fine enough, pretty enough, and willing to make out in a broom closet with him. The teenage boy part of him that was just about to turn sixteen enjoyed that aspect, of course, but the rest of it was just no good. He didn’t actually like her and he was starting to hate himself for every moment he spent with her. His heart was simply not right. It didn’t get love. That had to be the most frustrating thing about all of this was knowing he was missing something in his life and not having a damn clue what to do about it. So he would end it with the girl because it wasn’t going to work out and he couldn’t fake it anymore. He didn’t think she’d be surprised and he was sure she wouldn’t be hurt by it, but it still meant having a weird conversation with a girl he really hadn’t even talked to. “What’s up with you?” Al wondered and Scorpius jumped, realizing he’d been scowling at his plate rather than eating breakfast. “Nothing,” Scorpius mumbled as he forced himself to eat. But of course it was a lie. The Potters and Weasleys loved him. He was sure of that, although Merlin knew why when his family was responsible for a lot of the bad things that were going on in his life. It was his stupid aunt who was targeting Lily, after all. That was eating at him. He was raw inside with open, bleeding wounds he didn’t know how to sew up. Lily was in danger because of that crazy woman. “Class.” Scorpius turned to Nat who was studying him with concern. “Right.” He let them lead him through the day until the moment between the end of classes and the dinner hour when he broke off to tell the girl he didn’t think it was working out. She slapped him and he felt like maybe he deserved it. It certainly matched how he felt inside as he trudged up to the common room to dump his bag. He was going to be late for dinner, but he just didn’t care anymore. He gave the password at the portrait and climbed through just as Lily, Hugo, and Honor were about to leave. “Hullo,” he muttered as he went in to dump his stuff. When he turned around it was to find only Lily watching him. He glanced around, suddenly nervous. “Where are they?” “I told them you’d walk me down,” Lily informed him simply as she moved to him and took his hand, studying his face intently. Hers was almost too beautiful, so painfully lovely he had to fight not to look away. Guilt at his family’s part in her pain flooded through in a horrible stew of churning nausea. Nerves shot up Scorpius’ spine as he had to resist the impulse to pull his hand from hers as sweat soaked his palm. “I’ve had a bad day, Lils.” The second the nickname came out of his mouth he wanted to club himself over the head! He had no right to call her that. That was her family’s name for her. “I can see that,” she said quietly. “Tell me.” He wasn’t going to. He was going to tell her it was time to go down to dinner and she was only thirteen and couldn’t possibly understand any of it, but the whole thing spilled out anyway and she stood there and listened to him. The second he finished telling her about the slap, she boosted onto her tiptoes and put her arms around his neck, holding him in a hard hug. His arms went around her and he soaked in the comfort she offered so selflessly. Everything about her lifted his mood. She was miraculous that way. Sooner than he’d have liked, she let go and sank back onto her feet. Her hand brushed at the painful mark on his face as she studied it with concern. “She really nailed you.” “I deserved it.” Lily shook her head and dropped her hand. Her blue eyes stayed steady on his as her mouth pinched around the corners. “You don’t deserve any of this.” Her words hit him hard, a straight shot into the chest as he closed his eyes against the grief. He’d given up on his mum, his dad, and his grandparents but his aunt… he couldn’t give up on her. He should because she kept letting him down, but he couldn’t. He needed to hope she’d come through for him. “She does love you,” Lily whispered quietly. “But I think she doesn’t know how to love herself and she gets lost in that. The trick is for you not to do the same.” His eyes flew open as he stared at her, his mind reeling. Of course, Daphne didn’t love herself. She was barely functional as an adult most of the time. The only thing his mother had had to say for her sister was her depression ruled her life. She’d tried potions in the past, but they didn’t last. She’d tried therapy, but left soon after. It felt to him as though his aunt didn’t want to get better and here he was, making mistakes like hers. He’d used the girl from Slytherin and she hadn’t deserved that. Was he going to be stuck in this pattern or was he going to get better? “I’m not going to be her,” he said out loud, even though he hadn’t realized he was going to speak until the words were already out. “I believe you,” Lily said simply. “Are you ready to go eat?” He nodded slowly and let out a slow breath. His aunt was who she was. She was damaged and she wasn’t changing. He couldn’t do anything about it except make sure he didn’t follow in her footsteps. “Lily… thanks.” She beamed up at him with a radiant smile. “I’m glad I could help.” She turned to lead the way to the portrait hole. Dumbstruck, he stared after her as his heart did a slow roll. She missed the full second it took for him to get his feet moving and he was eternally grateful for that. Stupid… stupid, stupid, stupid! Scorpius berated himself the whole way down to the Great Hall while Lily chatted happily next to him. He was not going to develop a crush on Lily Potter. Nope. No. No way. She was two and a half years younger than he was for Merlin’s sake! She was Al’s baby sister! No. Nope. Damn it. He followed her in and started to make mental lists for how he was going to not let that happen. |
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