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Ron's Stag Night | ||||
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Category: Post-DH/AB Characters:All Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Comedy, Humor Warnings: Extreme Language, Intimate Sexual Situations, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Negative Alcohol Use, Sexual Situations Rating: R Reviews: 13 Summary: This is a sequel to Harry's Stag Night. The saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!" I suppose Ron, Harry, and the boys will just have to learn this lesson the hard way! A comical story based loosely on both movies, The Hangover I and The Hangover II. Hitcount: Story Total: 4541 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Also, no copyright violation is intended for either the Hangover I or the Hangover II. Author's Notes: I've given this story idea some time to sit. However, it's too good an idea to pass up on! Please let me know what you guys think! |
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Harry swore loudly as he heaved Ginny’s and his bags onto the landing of the fifth floor. Not only were he and the rest of the Weasleys supposed to survive a whole week without magic, but what was worse? The bleeding elevator was out of order! As soon as Harry had motioned to take the stairwell, Ginny conveniently happened to see one of Hermione’s closest cousins and had run off to “catch up.” Checking over his shoulder to make sure he was alone, Harry lost his patience and slowly began to draw his wand. A simple banishing spell seemed to be in order. “Don’t you dare Harry Potter!” Hermione hissed from behind him as she arrived on the landing. “Bloody hell ‘mione!” Harry gasped. “Where’d you come from? And where are your bags?” Hermione sighed. “I was smart enough to shrink our bags and put them in my purse before we portkeyed from the Ministry. Good god Harry, are you a wizard or what?” Hermione whispered to him as she rounded the corner and ascended the sixth floor stairwell. Harry grumbled to himself as he again heaved the bags up yet another set of stairs. After a few seconds of cursing and heaving, with one last great feat of strength he finally pulled the bags up the last three steps and placed them on the landing. Glaring at the now giggling Hermione, Harry reached into his back pocket to pull out the little pamphlet that held his room key and number. “Room 623. Ok,” Harry murmured to himself as he looked for an indication of whether he should go left or right. Hermione’s face drained. “Oh no no no! Please don’t tell me you’re in room 623!” “Erm yeah, says right here. Room six hundred and twenty three,” Harry carefully enunciated. “Why?” “Ron and I are in 622!” ‘Yes!’ Harry thought as he doubled over in laughter. He couldn’t imagine better payback for her picking this hell hole of a hotel. Ok, maybe it wasn’t a hell hole. It was just designed to be a little more, what was the term? Old fashioned. “Do Gin and I a favor? Silencing charms at night please?” Harry chuckled. “Silencing charms?” asked a deep voice from behind. “What are you on about mate?” Hermione paled as she saw someone arrive on the landing behind them. “Harry, this is my cousin Ryan.” “Oh,” Harry stuttered for a second. “Harry Potter, pleasure to meet you!” he said a little more confidently as he shook the young mans hand. “Ryan Granger,” he replied with a firm handshake. Ryan glanced back at Hermione. “Silencing charm?” he asked again. Hermione waved her hand airily. “Inside joke. Harry went to a boarding school with Ron and me. You know how it is.” “Yeah,” Harry chuckled. “Trust me. It’s a very long story.” “Right,” Ryan said softly, glancing between them both. "Well I was just on the way to Room 621. Mum and Dad are waiting for me to get ready so we can meet you all for dinner.” He told them as he moved down the hall. Harry doubled with laughter again at the sight of Hermione’s face. ------ Harry slid his room key into the door and pressed down hard. Harry swore when it didn’t work the first time. It was an old fashioned key, one with holes punched in it rather than one with a magnetic strip. Hermione had picked the older muggle hotel for their stay in Thailand, figuring it wouldn’t do for the Weasleys to knock out the electricity every time one of them (and one of them surely would) pulled their wand out for a quick fix. Sure enough, after being in the hotel for less than a minute the mere presence of all the witches and wizards being in the same room had been enough to knock out the elevator. Harry and his incredibly sore arms couldn’t help but grudgingly agree. The less electricity in this place, the better. Harry put the card back into the lock and pressed down hard on the handle. The door swung open and Harry had to stick his foot into the door to hold it open while he rolled the bags into the room. Allowing the door to close behind him, Harry moved past the meager kitchen with hopes of collapsing on the bed for just a minute. However, his falling trajectory was blocked by a certain red haired witch who was already occupying the middle of their bed. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Harry grumbled as he took her in. “You didn’t pass me on the way up!” Ginny looked up from her magazine and grinned at him. “It’s about bleeding time Potter! I’ve been waiting for my toiletries so I could take my shower!” Ginny exclaimed as she spun her legs off the bed to begin digging through her bag that Harry just brought up. “And no, I didn’t pass you. I took another stairwell with Charlette,” she grinned mischievously. “Witch,” Harry growled. Ginny triumphantly raised her bag of necessities above her head. “Thank you Harry,” Ginny mumbled as she gave him a simple kiss on the cheek before heading into the bathroom. “That’s it?” Harry growled as she walked away. Ginny hesitated and walked back over to him. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” Ginny murmured. She then gave him a firm pat on the head. “Good boy!” Ginny tried to run off, but Harry reacted faster and gave her a good slap on the rump. Ginny giggled before closing the bathroom door behind her. Harry sighed to himself and fell back onto the bed. The bathroom door opened again, and a towel clad Ginny stuck her head out. “Oh, Harry, I was going to ask you to help me wash my back, but if you’re too tired it’s ok,” she trailed off. “I’m up!” ------ Ron sighed deeply and felt Hermione’s hand squeeze his tightly. Out of her entire family, only her parents knew of her wizarding heritage. Ron had been thrilled about honeymooning in Thailand, but why Hermione’s parents insisted that they bring all of their families (and select family friends) to see them get hitched Ron would never know. It wasn’t that Ron didn’t like them, he absolutely loved her family! He had been to their homes for Christmas celebrations and many other festivities countless times. They were all great people! They all just thought that his family was well, crazy. And it was slightly understandable. Ron’s father had shown up in a bathing suit and blazer for their black dress and tie dinner. What was worse? He thought himself the most fashionable man present! He looked up as Hermione’s cousin Ryan finished playing his violin. The boy really was something else. He was Hermione’s counterpart in male, non wizard form. He was handsome, had curly brown hair, and the brains to match! He had graduated a year early, and still top of the class! Last Ron had heard, the seventeen year old had been accepted by the Yanks to go to Hoovard, (or was it Harperd?) to study something or other. All of the Grangers stood and gave him a great applause. The Weasleys however, glanced around as if slightly offended. Ron gave them a scathing look. Hermione simply rolled her eyes and leaned into his ear. “Beethoven was a wizard Ron, the muggles had to dumb down his ninth symphony in order to try to recreate it. The wizarding version hasn’t been lost though, and to your family it sounds well, mutilated,” she giggled. Ron snorted. How was it that she always knew so much more about their world than he did? Not that he often searched through his parents old classical music, but still! Ron looked up to see Ryan’s father glaring daggers at him. “Absolutely splendid Ryan,” Ron managed to chuckle out while slapping Harry on the back to get him to cough up whatever food he was choking on. Ron shook his head before sighing and focused back onto his plate. It was going to be a long dinner. ------ “What were we thinking ‘mione?” Ron groaned as he hugged her from behind on their balcony. “Good question. I’m not so sure why I thought marrying you was a great idea,” she teased softly. “That’s not what I meant.” “Shush Ron.” Ron took a deep breath before tearing his eyes from her and looking instead on the ocean view in front of them. “Isn’t it beautiful?” “It is,” Ron answered curtly. Hermione turned around to face him. “You have to understand Ron. My parents feel left out. All they want is a big family wedding. They’re hoping that maybe our families will bond, and maybe strengthen a few family ties.” “They feel left out? What are you on about?” “You can’t be serious, Ron.” “How are they left out?” “Ron, I’m a part of a whole other world that they can’t even begin to comprehend. How would you feel if our daughter grew up and ran off to live and work in the muggle world? Actually, it’s worse that. What if you had no idea it even existed until she did it?” Ron mulled that over for a few seconds. “I guess I see your point. But still, it’s not like our families can just, hop over that wall and everyone be best friends!” “No, they can’t. But still, that doesn’t help anything.” Ron couldn’t help but chuckle as he remembered his father's face when Ryan’s mother asked him what part of the government he worked in. What about Bill’s face when he was asked what bank he worked for? Ron couldn’t help but sigh. Their families were stuck together for a whole week. It would be slightly entertaining though. “Well make it work love,” Ron murmured into her ear before giving her a kiss. Hermione responded back with eager enthusiasm, and Ron felt his body slowly begin to react. Ron’s nimble fingers found the zipper on the back of her dress, and slowly pulled it down until her dress fell to her ankles. Ron wrapped his arms around her and lifted her onto the bed. Hermione gave a loud squeal and began working on his trousers. She had just managed to get him down to his underwear when a loud rap at the door interrupted them. “Go away!” Ron growled loudly, but was answered with a culmination of laughter from the door. “Not a chance Ron!” He heard Neville’s voice chortle from the door. “Yeah Ron open up!” Charlies voice piped in. Hermione gasped when after a few more seconds a click was heard and the door swung wide open. Hermione grabbed the covers and swung them over her nearly naked body. George stood in the door, holding a pair of muggle pliers and what seemed to be a toothpick. “I told you lot, these tricks always come in; well hello Hermione!” he catcalled as he interrupted himself. “Now come on you lot!” Harry called as he pushed himself to the front of the pack. “Everyone out! Yes, that means you too George!” “Thanks mate,” Ron said appreciatively as everyone moved back into the hallway. “Oh, we’re not giving up. I was just giving Hermione a little more privacy. Not anything I haven’t seen anyways,” he teased as she turned even more beat red. “Now be a good boy Ron, and come along!” Harry chortled as he drew his wand. “Don’t even try to pretend you have that wand of yours in your boxers.” Ron growled. “I’ll show you my wand all right!” Harry paled at his double meaning. “Please don’t!” “Enough!” Hermione nearly shouted. “Ron, keep your wand in your pants! Harry, what are you doing?” Harry rocked back and forth on his feet. “We’re here to collect him,” he said as he pointed at Ron. “The boys and I have a little something of a Stag night planned for him.” Ron groaned and Hermione swore (quite to everyone’s surprise.) “Harry erm, we agreed that after the ‘event’ we weren’t going to have one for me,” he whispered softly to Harry. “Which is exactly why you’re coming down with me to the beach,” Harry said firmly. “Oh Ron, a little more faith would be wonderful! We got the manager of the hotel to let us get a bonfire going on the beach. We’ve got a few brews, and we’re planning on roasting some marshmallows is all! Hermione looked at Ron. “You should go. We’ll have plenty of fun this week anyways,” she winked causing Harry to cough uncomfortably. “You’re the best babe,” Ron swooned as he put his pants back on. “There is one condition though,” Hermione added. “Make sure you lot invite Ryan. I’m sure he’d appreciate some time with the guys. Harry and Ron swore. ------ Ron sat back and took a nice long swig of his muggle brew that George had somehow managed to acquire. “Are you sure I should be drinking this?” Ryan asked as Harry handed him one. “You are seventeen, aren’t you?” George asked him. “Yeah, exactly. I’m not legal,” Ryan continued as if it was the most straightforward thing in the world. Ron snorted into his beer. “Trust me mate,” he said as he gave Ryan a slap on the back. “You’re plenty old enough for us.” “No shit,” Charlie murmured as he took a long draw from his drink. Harry swirled around his bottle, as he took in the immediate somber atmosphere setting into the group. “I think we could do with something a little stronger, eh George? Let’s get this party going!” George’s grin stretched ear to ear. “I think I’ve got just the thing!” Ron chuckled as Harry perfectly timed asking Ryan a random question, which distracted him just long enough for George to un-shrink and transfigure the bottle of firewhiskey. George took a long draw from it and passed it around. They all got a good laugh when Ryan immediately spluttered after taking a drink. “What in the bloody hell is that stuff?” he asked. “Some of the best shite on this earth mate!” Bill called out. Harry stood up and motioned for the rest of them to do the same. “I think a toast is in order!” he exclaimed loudly. “To Ron and Hermione, my best friends, and my siblings. I wish you both eternal happiness!” “To Ron and Hermione!” The group chanted before taking long draws from their beer. Ron sat back, skewered a marshmallow onto his stick and sighed. He really did have the best family in the world. If they got lucky, Ryan here would be too plastered within minutes to remember any of their conversations in the morning. Maybe, just maybe, he and Harry would get to talk about the Cannons. ------ Hermione stretched and yawned deeply. She usually slept poorly when she was in a room by herself. The war changed that. She however had slept like a rock, despite Ron’s presence when she was falling asleep. She was probably exhausted from all the travel. Hermione rolled over to Ron’s side of the bed, and felt for him. Her fingers however, found only cold sheets. Quickly sitting up, Hermione felt for her wand. Stuffing it into the waistband of her sweats she quickly grabbed her room key off the nightstand and exited the room. Knocking loudly on Harry and Ginny’s door, she soon heard footsteps and the door opened partially for a second revealing Harry’s face before he opened it fully. “Bloody hell Hermione, what is it? I thought we were having a bit of a lie in today!” “Have you seen Ron?” Harry looked confused. “Not since last night on the beach. Mum Weasley came and found me, told me Ginny wasn’t feeling too good. We were up half the night last night. I think it was something in that Thai food,” he explained. Hermione was near tears. “He’s not in our room!” she began to sob. Harry pushed past her and with a wave of his hand unlocked her room and marched straight inside. “What the hell?” he asked aloud. Hermione sat down on the bed and burst into tears. At this moment, the phone in the room decided to ring. Hermione shook her head at him and in two strides Harry crossed the room and picked up the phone. “What do you want?” he growled. “Harry, it’s me,” Ron moaned from the other end. “Ron, where are you?” Harry asked, glancing at Hermione. She had stopped sobbing at the mention of his name. “I don’t know Harry, but we screwed up last night! We screwed up bad!” Harry put his face into his hands. “What did you do?” ---A/N--- Ok guys. Back by popular demand! I had too many little plot bunnies running around in my head for me not to get some of this written! It also helps that the second Hangover movie was released. (Yes. There will be a monkey). Please let me know what you guys think! Right now I am extremely busy with summer classes, and work, so updates on this story will only come if you guys wish to see me continue with it. Your reviews are what really make my day and keep me writing! Please make my day! :) |
| Reviews 13 |
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