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Don't Turn Your Back On Me | ||||
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Category: Post-HBP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst, Romance Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 6 Summary: Ginny's feelings immediately after the breakup. Hitcount: Story Total: 4359 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: This was my first ever fan fic...was listening to this song on my radio and this story popped into my head. All characters, locations and familiar terms are the creation of the extremely talented J.K. Rowling. Song lyrics are property of the similarly talented Linkin Park. |
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"I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you to just believe this is real So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do Face away and pretend that I'm not But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got " Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. The emotions are dancing around, playing a game of musical chairs in my head and my heart. As I stand here with friends and family mourning our beloved Dumbledore, I'm being given a reason to mourn for a second time. As much as I try, I can't grab hold of just one emotion; they come and go in my head as my heart tries to block them all, as I try to rationalize and understand why this is happening, and why it's happening now. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. Hurt, because the man that I've loved since I was 10 years old is walking out of my life just as quickly as he walked in, without so much as a backward glance. Betrayal, because after all I've done in the past two years to prove myself worthy of joining his fight, it doesn't seem as though it was enough. Anger, because he's actually dumb enough to think that it'll be that easy to just leave me behind. "I can't feel the way I did before Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored Time won't heal this damage anymore Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored" He tells me that he's letting me go for my own protection, because he couldn't stand to see me get hurt. He turns and walks away from me as though that simple gesture is enough to erase what we've shared over the last few months. And as he turns away, those emotions start churning ever so endlessly in my mind. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. I take a deep breath and try to look at things from his point of view. Yes, I know that Voldemort wouldn't hesitate to use me to get to Harry, but couldn't the same be said about Ron and Hermione? Wouldn't he also, knowing how close the three of them are (not to mention how many times those two have helped Harry in his efforts to postpone Voldemort's return) also use Ron and Hermione for the same reason? He wants me to stay where I'll be safe. Is that even possible, now that Dumbledore is gone? And if Dumbledore can be killed on the grounds of Hogwarts, where we've always believed was the safest haven we could have, what's to stop anyone from being hurt? Point blank, there is no safe place in the Wizarding World anymore; at least not for me, for what can be safer than to be at the side of the only person who is destined to destroy Voldemort? What can be safer than for me to fight by the side of the man I love, who I know will stop at nothing to insure Voldemort’s demise? I can only be safe if I am with Harry, no more, no less. Now, if only I can get him to understand that... ~*~*~ The Hogwarts Express is quiet for this particular journey home. With most of the students having been pulled out of school within days of Dumbledore's murder and others leaving with their families immediately after the funeral, there's an eerie sort of quiet on the trip. Too much quiet, in fact. The kind of quiet that can be really uncomfortable when you have a lot to think about (or that you try not to think about). "I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident 'cause you don't understand I do what I can Sometimes I don't make sense I am, what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you for once just to hear me out So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do You face away and pretend that I'm not But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got" I begged my parents to allow me to ride the Express home, needing the time to myself before getting back to the Burrow and the beginning of endless preparations for Bill and Fleur's wedding. I think it was hard for Mum to let go; she could see that I was not myself, yet when she looked into my eyes she seemed to know that whatever was bothering me would not be easily dealt with, and that I was mature enough to try to work it out on my own. I may be the baby of the family and the only girl, but I think that the things I've done in the last year have opened her eyes to the fact that I'm growing up, and can handle some things on my own. I wish Harry could see that too. As soon as the thought comes into my mind, I see him. He looks as though he plans to walk right past my compartment; he stops and looks as though he's comtemplating something serious. He looks at me with a weary look and asks, "Um, Ginny...is it okay if I join you, or would you rather be alone?" "Whatever gave you the impression that I wanted to be alone?? That's something you decided for me, didn't you?" I can't help but to raise my voice; I need him to understand how I feel. "Sorry, didn't mean to upset you...I'll just go..." "DON'T YOU WALK OUT OF THAT DOOR!!! YOU ARE LEAVING ME AND TAKING MY BROTHER AND BEST FRIEND WITH YOU, THE VERY LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SIT YOUR ARSE DOWN AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!!!" "Nowww Hear me out now You're gonna listen to me like it or not Right now, hear me out now You're gonna listen to me like it or not Right nowww" Looking as though he'd swallowed a whole bottle of Skele-Gro, he closes the door, turns around, and takes a seat. "Okay, Gin", he says, looking defeated. "Let's get this over with." As angry as I am with him, it is breaking my heart to see him look so lost. "Don't you see what this is doing to the both of us? What it's doing to me? Am I that disposable that you can just toss me to the side like I don't matter?" "Of course you matter!! You are everything to me!!! Don't you get it, Ginny? I love..." Harry covers his mouth and swears, and a look of fear etches itself over his handsome face. "I can't do this..." "Do what, Harry? Why are you so afraid to tell me the truth?" I am pleading with him with my eyes...just tell me you love me. "Don't you see? If I say what I really feel, it'll give Voldemort the ultimate weapon against me." He comes to kneel in front of me and begins to wipe away the tears that unknowingly have begun to fall. "I love you, Ginny" he whispers "more that I ever thought I could love someone. It would absolutely kill me if something were to happen to you. Please, please understand. I would never do anything to hurt you, which is why I had to let you go." "And you letting me go hurt me more than Voldemort ever could!” He looks appalled at my words, then once again that defeated expression creeps back onto that handsome face and into those beautiful green eyes, so that I can't tear my gaze away. “Can't you understand, Harry? Dumbledore has always said that your greatest strength, your greatest weapon, is love. Love will be the downfall of Voldemort. How can you accomplish your goal of destroying him if you are refusing to accept the one thing that can benefit you the most? I LOVE YOU, and I am not afraid to say it or show it. I have waited patiently for six years, knowing in my heart that eventually we would be together. Not because of some school girl crush, Harry. I felt it in my soul, I always knew that you'd find your way to me. At the right time, I knew that we would be together. I have fought hard and waited for you, Harry..." Tears fall from my eyes and as I look at him, I notice that his eyes are closed with the tears he’s trying so hard to hold back. "Don't you think that after all of the hardships and pain you've dealt with, that you deserve some happiness, too?" He looks at me sadly and sighs. "Not if it means you will die because of it." "And how will you feel if you leave me behind, and I die anyway? Will it have been worth it?" He stands up and looks at me angrily, but as he sees my face - sees by my eyes that I was not being cruel or callous but stating a possible truth, his face softens and he resumes his kneeling position once again. "That would kill me, too." "So let me help you, Harry. Let me love you. With love surrounding you four times over, he can't win!" Harry sighs and mumbles, a bit irritated, "You just don't take no for an answer, do you - wait, what do you mean, four times over?" I roll my eyes and look at him as though he should've figured it out by now. "Between us, and Ron and Hermione..." "They won't even admit it to each other!" "But we know and I think that after seeing them together at the funeral, they will have also finally realized it. With that much love surrounding us, how can we not defeat Voldemort? We have a reason to fight, because we all have something to look forward to. We cannot begin our lives together and be happy while he is still out there.” I reach out to hold his face in my hands, the urge to just touch him overcoming my previous will to do nothing of the sort. It felt as though that one choice to reach out to him closed the bridge between us. “Just believe in us, Harry." He looks at me silently for a long time. Then, slowly, he moves forward and gives me the sweetest of kisses. "I do, Gin. I believe." |
| Reviews 6 |
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