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An American Kind of Day
By Jaquelyne

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Category: Muggle Picnic Challenge (2005-2)
Characters:None
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 20
Summary: *** Jaquelyne was a senior staff administrator at SIYE when she met her untimely death. Some of her stories were a work in progress. We will never consider them abandoned. ***

Hitcount: Story Total: 4111







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Draco Malfoy was pissed, and I mean three sheets to the wind pissed. The great muggle lover Dumbledore had listened to the request of the muggleborn students and decided to allow them to throw a muggle style picnic on the grounds of Hogwarts. There was to be muggle games and that pure blood traitor Ron Weasley was going to be cooking on grall of all things. How could anyone expect a Malfoy to eat food not prepared by magic, but by the fumblings of Weasley of all people! So he had snuck into Warrington’s fire whiskey stash and drank the whole bottle in hopes that he would be too hung-over to even remember that his classmates were outside playing in the unseasonably warm April spring air.

But Draco had a plan. He stumbled to the highest hill that was on the grounds and prepared for the spell he had found. Digging in his cloak, he pulled out his wand and began the intricate wand movements.

“Américain blasphémer parler majorité!”

Draco watched as the entire castle glowed the pale colours of the American flag and looked forward to watching his idiotic classmates unable to have their festivities due to not understanding what was going on the next day. His spell set, the little ferret scurried off to his dank and dark dungeon.

Little did he know was the only thing he really did was make the picnic more enjoyable for all involved the next day.

---

The next morning, the perfect prefect, Hermione Granger woke up to a beautiful morning. The birds were singing, the sky was sunny and she looked forward to wonderful day in the sun with her friends at the picnic. She crawled out of her warm four-poster bed and slipped on her slippers. Grabbing her robe, the sixth year walked to the bathroom to find Ginny Weasley coming out of shower.

“Morning Ginny!” said Hermione.

The redhead looked up at her best friend and growled. “Turn it down a few decibels chick!”

Hermione looked surprised at her friend’s choice of words. “Where did you learn that phrase?”

“I don’t know what in the hell you are talking about. I always talk this way.” The fifth year student shook her head in confusion.

“No, you used a more American vernacular. I just wondered where you learned it.” Hermione replied.

“Tell you what Hermione, let me get some coffee in me and then I might understand what in the world you are talking about.” With that the girl left the bathroom for her dorm room.

Hermione’s spectacular brain began working overtime because Ginny never drank coffee at breakfast, she tended to lean to a strong black tea in the morning. She figured that she would work out the problem later and began to get ready for the day.

---

Over in the boys dorm, a normally be speckled boy with raven hair was slowly waking up. Harry Potter didn’t want to get out of his warm bed, until he remembered what day it was. The thought of spending the day in the sun with his newly minted girlfriend, Ginny, and the chance that she might dress for the weather pulled him from his bed. He looked to the left of his bed to see that Ron was still sleeping.

He ripped open the curtains around his best friend’s bed and said, “Get up you lazy bum!”

“Bite me!” Ron grumbled.

“Come on Ron, remember the picnic? Hotties in shorts and summer shirts all over for our enjoyment.”

The redhead rolled over and looked at his best friend, “do you think that Hermy will wear something like that?”

“Yep, so get your ass out of bed so we can meet the girls in the common room.”

---

The boys headed down to the common room when they were done getting ready. The clothing they had on wasn’t like their normal style of dress. Harry was wearing a pair of oversized cargo shorts, a large T-shirt that bore the logo of the Rusty Surfboard Company, and a pair of flip-flops. Ron wore a pair of baggy black jeans, a white t-shirt and white Nikes. The pair flopped on one of the couches to wait for Hermione and Ginny. They didn’t have to wait long at all.

Hermione was the first down the stairs wearing a pair of khaki walking shorts, a madras cotton top and a pair of penny loafers with white socks folded neatly over. Behind her, Ginny flounced down in a pair of black cargo pants that she held up with a black belt and had a wallet chain hanging out of her back pocket. Her top was one that would normally have her older brother sending her back up to her dorm to change. It was very short and tight. The top in question was white, had the name Ginerva on it and didn’t cover her stomach. Whereas Hermione’s make up was quiet and tasteful, Ginny’s face was pale but her lips were a ruby red and the eyes were heavily lined.

Ginny walked toward Harry with a purpose. She reached out, pulled him to her and kissed him. Now this kiss wasn’t like any of the ones she had given him before, this was one was uninhibited and hot. The intensity of the kiss surprised Harry, but he just went along for the ride. The need for air became apparent and they broke apart.

“Wow!” Harry exclaimed with a bit of wonder in his voice. He looked upon her face as a sly smile crossed her lips.

“I just needed to kiss you and what a kiss it was,” said Ginny. “You might want to be ready for more of those through out the day.”

Harry let the same smile that Ginny had just shown him crawl across his face. “Bring it on!”

---

The rest of the Gryffindors came down to the common room. The house as a whole had decided to go to breakfast as a group. They wanted to show their support and their solidarity as a house for the planned activates of the day.

Different members of Gryffindor house began to fill the common room. Lavender Brown floated down the girl’s staircase in a long summery dress waving a matching fan in her face and holding a large brimmed hat in her hand. She spotted her best friend Parvati Patil and made her way over.

“Parv sweetie, do you know where I can find me a glass of sweet tea with lemon?” Lavender asked the Indian girl with a heavy southern accent.

“No Lav, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of a house elf this morning. Maybe we can find you something down in the dining hall.” Parvati Patil replied. She was dressed much the same way that her friend was except there was a scarf around her neck.

Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas appeared at the top of the common room steps looking like rejects from a rap video. Seamus was wearing an oversized Boston Red Sox jersey and the hat on his head was backwards. In the back pocket of his jeans he had a bandana in the Irish national flag colors. When he spoke, it only took a few moments to realize where he was from, his accent was just that heavy.

“Yo, Lavender, you ready to head down to the paark for this paarty?” A strong south Boston accent came from the normally accented Irishman.

“Not just yet love. I need to have some sweet tea first.” His girlfriend answered him.

Dean looked between the two and said to Seamus, “Yo buss dis. man she looks sick Sheeit!”

“I know. That’s why she’s mine.”

Dean was wearing a Love See No Color shirt and a pair of Lugz jeans. The jeans were sitting on his hips and he had to readjust himself every five minutes. His normally close shaven hair was into a fade with his initials etched into the back of his head.

Hermione stopped to look at all her housemates. She could see that something was still wrong with the whole group. As far as she knew, none of the other sixth years had ever traveled to America, but here they were emulating different parts of the country. It wasn’t just her year, but it seemed to be the entire house. The Creevey Brothers had been standing together dressed in business suits and talking on cell phones, an item that shouldn’t be working at Hogwarts.

She noticed that the fourth year girls were dressed like the girl group, The Spice Girls. They kept spewing the same catch phrases that she had heard over the summer on the television. Katie Bell was standing off to the side dressed like a soccer player who Hermione was sure was named Mia Hamm. This madness seemed to have seeped into the whole house.

The biggest thing was seeing her normally shy best friend with his hands all over Ginny’s waist. The perfect Prefect decided that maybe getting them all downstairs to the Great Hall and the professors may be the answer. Whatever had been done to her friends might be reversible, and Dumbledore might just have the answers.

“It’s time to head down to breakfast. I want you all to remember that we represent Gryffindor today and to have fun!” Hermione told her classmates.

---

End of Part 1

A/N: The idea for the clothing that Ginny is wearing is from a 1995 video of the band No Doubt. Gwen Stefani wears something very close to the same thing in I’m just a Girl. It might seem out of character for her, but I have always seen Ginny post-chamber as a girl that knows what she wants and goes after it.

This fic is a bit of a spoof on all of the stories that seem to forget the students of Hogwarts live in the United Kingdom and tend to make them American in speech or dress.
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