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SIYE Time:23:33 on 19th April 2024
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The Great Valentine War
By Carrick ORourke

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley
Genres: Comedy, Fluff
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 23
Summary: It seemed so simple. Give a valentine card to a friend that you hope (if you dare admit it) just may be a little bit more than a friend someday soon. But nothing is ever that simple between the four of them, is it?
Hitcount: Story Total: 4776







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The Great Valentine War

It's one of the oddities of history that wars have been started over the smallest of misunderstandings or by strange quirks of fate. For example, the Football War, fought in 1969 between Honduras and El Salvador, was the result of misunderstandings stemming from a football (soccer) match. The incredible suffering and catastrophic events of the First World War came about as a result of the driver of the car in which the Archduke Ferdinand and his wife were driving making a wrong turn down a side-street and coming to a stop in front of the would-be-assassin Gavrillo Princip who had left the parade route to get out of the heat of the day.

Thus it was that a combination of fate and misunderstanding brought about the Great Valentine War of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Since most of you are sadly unfamiliar with the details of that conflict, this little tale will inform you about it and its eventual outcome.

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"Oh no!' Ron exclaimed in horror as he quickly re-read the note that had been waiting for him on his dorm room bed. Harry looked up with interest as Ron stared at the paper in disbelief.

"What's up?'

"The note's from Dumbledore. It says my mum flooed him earlier and asked him to give me this message. I guess he had one of the house elves put it on my pillow . . ."

"And . . . ." Harry impatiently prodded his friend as he kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt.

"It's the twins. Those prats are sending valentines to Hermione and Ginny."

"Okay. So what's the problem?"

"According to the note, they're supposed to be really rude and suggestive. Mum caught them at it and told them that under no circumstances could they mail them, but it was too late -- they were already sent. They'll be here tomorrow morning!"

"Oh, so they're going to make it look like you sent them?"Harry asked, fighting hard to control a grin. "I can't wait to see Hermione's face."

"Maybe you misunderstood me. I said Ginny's going to also get a valentine - and it's going to be from you."

"What?" Harry practically yelled as he jumped up and walked over to take a look at the note Ron was holding. After a quick glance and curse under his breath, Harry sat back down on his bed and looked at Ron. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I can't believe this. The stupid prats have been interfering in my life for years . . . and it just keeps getting worse. I really thought once they left school and got a somewhat responsible job, they'd leave me alone! And I don't know what I'm going to tell Hermione. She hates the twins enough as it is and she'll find some way to hold me responsible. And I was really hoping that maybe . . . uh . . ." Ron didn't finish the sentence as he realized he had been vocalizing his thoughts.

Harry grinned in spite of the situation. "Ron, you silly git. It's obvious to everyone you like her. Look, tomorrow morning before we go to breakfast, why don't we just tell the girls the whole thing about Fred and George sending valentines that are supposed to be from us. They'll understand. They've seen the twins' weird sense of humor, Ginny especially. She's their sister, too."

"You don't get it, Harry." Ron growled angrily as he stood back up and began to pace back and forth. "Hermione will think we're just playing a joke on her. She'll never believe us. Then she'll be all mad at us and Ginny of course will take her side. And, also, they'll wonder why we didn't get them valentines! If we destroy the ones the twins send, it will make it even more obvious we don't have anything for them! Worst of all, who knows what the valentines will do? They're from the twins you know. They may explode or sing and then the whole school will know and make fun of us. So, it's not just a matter of explaining to them! We may even get detentions if they do something terrible in front of everyone else!"

"I see what you mean. That would be horrible. I don't know if I could take another singing valentine. Okay, I've got it. Why don't we make nice valentines for the girls and then we'll be watching for the owl posts and as soon as they arrive, we'll grab the other valentines, slip ours in and go somewhere quiet and destroy the ones from your brothers."

"I don't know about making valentines for the girls . . ."

"Look, it'll give you a chance to make a valentine for Hermione. I know she'd like to get one from you."

"You think so?"

"Are you that daft, Ron? Everyone else can see she'd love to have you two be more than just friends."

Ron's ears turned red for a moment and then he broke into a broad smile. "And I know it would make Ginny's day to get one from you."

Harry blushed brightly. "I don't know. Maybe you should make both of them. Ginny deserves one from her brother."

"Right, Potter. If I suffer, you suffer." They both sighed. "How are we going to do this? I don't have anything pink or frilly."

"Well, neither do I."

"Can we just conjure some pink paper?"

"No — that's not my best subject and with my luck it would just turn black overnight or something." They both sighed again. "Let's go down to the common room. There's bound to be some scraps of stuff left over down there. Everyone else has been busy today, especially the girls." Harry was right. They were able to find all sorts of little scraps of parchment in various shades of pink and red as well as some lace and some heart stickers. With a few engorgement charms and some sticking charms, they were able to craft some fairly decent valentines and as Harry put them into his bag for the next morning ("I've seen the state of your bag, Ron. If you want them decent to give, I'll take charge of them.") he sighed with relief. True, what he had written to Ginny might be a bit embarrassing, but at least he had finally found words to tell her what she was starting to mean to him, and if she still had any feelings toward him at all, maybe this would help move things along. Harry didn't really allow himself to think too much about exactly how far he wanted things to move.

Ron watched Harry tuck the valentines into his bag with mixed feelings. Of course he wanted Hermione to feel the same way as he did, but he worried about messing things up, about somehow causing them to stop being friends, without causing them to start being anything else. Well, Harry was confident . . . but then, Harry wasn't exactly a great example of being able to speak his true feelings, either. Well, tomorrow would come soon enough, and maybe things would be better. Hopefully.

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"Hermione," Ginny was practically yelling at the closed curtains of Hermione's bed.. "Come on, Hermione. I know you can hear me."

"Maybe not," muttered Parvati Patil as she changed out of her clothes and into her pyjamas. "She usually puts on a silencing charm since Lavender snores."

"I do not snore," Lavender exclaimed, blushing brightly. "And don't you dare tell Seamus I do. Besides, I think Hermione went down to the bathroom." She went back to work on a valentine she was making.

Ginny turned back to the bed curtains. "Hermione . . ."

"Is anyone answering you?"

Ginny jumped as she heard a voice behind her and turned to see Hermione grinning at her, dressed in a night shirt, house coat, and holding a toothbrush and toothpaste.

"We need to talk. We have a serious problem, Hermione." Ginny waved a piece of parchment in front of Hermione's face as Hermione pointed her wand at the bed curtains and unsealed them. The two crawled onto her bed, closed the curtains and Hermione again put a silencing charm on the curtains. "This note was on my pillow. It's from Professor Dumbledore. I guess my mum wanted him to warn us that Fred and George are going to send valentines to Harry and Ron and they're going to be signed by us."

Hermione's smile had left her face and she had a worried look. "Are they going to explode when the boys open them? Or, maybe their hands will turn purple or have polka-dots after they touch them. Oh my, you don't think they'll have that powder that gets all over them and makes their clothes disappear? That would be very embarrassing. Funny, but embarrassing."

"No, Hermione!" Ginny threw her hands up into the air with frustration. "The note didn't go into details, it just said the valentines would look like we had written them and they were going to be very suggestive. In other words, the valentine to Ron is going to be from you and the one to Harry is going to be from me . . ."

"Oh no! That might scare Ron off . . ."

"Worse yet," Ginny cut in. "We'd look like fools to the rest of the school. They'd never let us forget it. Every Valentine's Day I'm still reminded of that stupid singing valentine the twins sent Harry. Everyone thought I had sent it. It was humiliating."

"Well, that was pretty bad, you have to admit. I definitely don't want them sending something like that to Ron. I'm still hoping there might be something . . ."

"Believe me, Hermione, there is. It's obvious Ron likes you. The silly git is just too shy to do anything about it. Who knows, maybe a card like that would make Ron actually start a romance with you. But if Harry gets a card from me that's dirty or suggestive, it'll ruin our friendship - he doesn't think of me that way. I wish he did, but he doesn't and I don't want to ruin what we do have."

Hermione thought for a minute. "Who knows, maybe Harry will someday see the light. But it probably won't be with a valentine like the ones Fred and George are going to send tomorrow. What we need to do, then, is not allow them to get those valentines!"

"Yeah, but if the owls bring them in the morning, how are we going to take them away without them noticing and wondering what's going on?"

"Simple. We have our own to give them. The owls bring the bad ones, we snag them. When they insist on seeing what we took, we give them nice friendly valentines that don't explode and don't sing and they don't know any better."

"It's a bit late to come up with anything."

"This is a desperate situation. Much as I hate to admit it, we're going to have to get some stuff from Lavender and Parvati." They reluctantly climbed off the bed and approached Hermione's roommates. Lavender smirked knowingly at them.

"If you two want to make valentine's for your would-be boyfriends, I am happy to help. Feel free to help yourself to anything you see here." Both Hermione and Ginny reluctantly took several different sheets of pink parchment. Parvati laughingly contributed some lace and stickers to make things look a little nicer.

An hour later, Hermione tucked both valentines into her bag. "When the owls come in the morning, you distract the boys, make some sort of a scene or something, and I'll snatch the ones from the twins. When they threaten me and ask what I took, I'll reluctantly turn these over."

"I hope it works."

"It will. It'll be easy."

As Ginny descended the steps to her own room, she wasn't so sure. She thought the plan would work, but that didn't mean her problems would be over. Hermione had a lot less to lose than she did, really. She hoped that the tentative note she had written to Harry would move what was becoming a close friendship into something more. If not, and Harry didn't want it . . . Well, she wouldn't let herself think about that now. She would just wait and see what happened tomorrow.

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The next morning, as the Gryffindors entered the common room, they were met with pink and red valentines hanging about the room on thin strings and confetti on the floor. When Harry and Ron came downstairs, they winced as the overload of pink fluff hit their eyeballs. They saw the girls waiting to go to breakfast with them as usual and Harry looked at Ron and held him back for a minute for a pep talk. "Okay, remember. You distract them. I'll grab and replace." Ron nodded his head in understanding and the two boys pasted smiles on their faces as they headed over to meet Hermione and Ginny.

Although the four tried to be nonchalant about the day, it was obvious there was an undercurrent of tension which only increased when they entered the Great Hall and saw various boys and girls giving cards and gifts to each other. The four sat down at the Gryffindor table, with Ron and Harry facing the girls, and all four tried to look casual. They continued their small talk as they dabbed their forks at the eggs and bacon on their plates. Ron was reaching for his fourth piece of toast when they all heard the familiar rustling of wings above them and they, like every other student in the hall, looked upward expectantly.

Neither pair noticed the other pair giving each other significant looks or nods. Both boys and both girls were too busy waiting for the fateful arrival to pay much attention to the others. It was only when they heard a large screech and then the familiar shouting of a Howler did they take their eyes off the owls and all four looked down the table at a fourth-year Gryffindor who obviously had received the Howler from his girlfriend. The loud voice berated him for not being faithful to her and announced their relationship was through. As the various diners went back to eating, amid snickers, smirks and a few mumbled sympathies, all four noticed with a jolt of shock that there were two valentines resting on the middle of the table.

Like several flashes of lighting, four hands reached out to snatch up the two valentines, mingled with shouts of "That's mine," "No, they aren't, they're ours," and "Don't touch those!" Ginny and Harry, both staring intently into each other's eyes, were holding onto one of the envelopes, while Ron was doing his best to reach the envelope Hermione was quickly trying to tuck into a robe pocket. He was finally able to pull the card from her hand, much to his relief, but as he did so, he knocked over a pitcher of pumpkin juice.

A seventh-year Gryffindor jumped up uttering an oath under his breath as juice splashed on his trousers. Several other students scrambled out of the way as the orange wave washed over the table and began to cascade off onto the floor. Ron swore and dropped the valentine which wafted down under the table. Harry looked down and immediately dived under the table to retrieve the envelope. As he did so, he found Ginny also diving under the table. "That's mine, Ginny."

"The hell it is."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I have six older brothers. We'll see who actually gets hurt." With that she did a quick body block, knocking Harry onto his rear end and pushing the now empty bench over with a loud clang. Harry looked across to see Ginny pulling herself up onto her own bench. He then heard a glass topple over above him and a new orange stream came pouring off the table. He quickly moved out of the way as he heard Ron give another loud curse and Hermione order him to stop swearing. Harry pulled himself up to see a pumpkin juice skirmish between Hermione and Ron as each one was trying to clean up the spilt juice and was making a bigger mess in the process. Ginny was now standing next to Hermione tugging at her robes and telling her it was okay and that they needed to get to their classes.

Harry growled in frustration and, as he did so glanced down at the table. There, in plain sight laying next to Ginny's breakfast plate, were two envelopes. Harry sucked in his breath and looked furtively toward Ginny who was still pulling on Hermione's robes in her futile attempt to break-up what was now turning into a rather heated exchange between Ron and Hermione. Harry couldn't believe his luck. He quickly grabbed the two envelopes and put them in one of his robe's pockets. He then calmly stood and glanced around at the mixture of humourous expressions and curious glances from the other students. It was then he noticed out of the corner of his eye a very angry-looking Professor McGonagall approaching from a distance.

Harry quickly turned and whispered into Ron's ear, "McGonagall's coming. Let's get out of here."

"But . . . but, what about the . . . "

"Never mind, I have them. Come on," Harry hissed through clenched teeth. Both boys grabbed their belongings and began a quick retreat from the Great Hall, followed closely by Ginny and Hermione. Nothing was said as the two boys headed for the dungeons and Potions and the girls went other directions. No one noticed the satisfied smiles on everyone else's face. If they had, they would have known that the initial battle might be over, but the war had just begun.

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As Ron and Harry hurried down the stone steps toward Potions class, Harry grinned. "I got em, Ron!"

"You did? Great! What a mess, I knocked the pumpkin juice over and then Hermione and I got into one . . ."

"It was a great diversion. Ginny had them and then set them down when she was trying to break you two up. Good job."

By then, the two had reached the door to Potions. They entered with only a couple of minutes to spare and made their way to their favorite table. As they sat down, Harry reached in and pulled the envelopes from his pocket. He gave a puzzled look and pulled the other two envelopes from his other pocket.

"Oh no. Fred and George's envelopes look just like ours. And, worse yet, so does their writing."

"What?" Ron practically jumped up from the stool on which he was sitting. He grabbed one envelope from each hand and compared the writing, frowning in disgust. "How do we know which is which? And how did they know what type of parchment we were going to use for our valentines?"

"Who cares? Ask them later. Right now, we've got to open them and figure out which ones are which. Here. I'll open . . ."

"Silence!" came a cold voice from the front of the classroom. Harry and Ron quickly shoved envelopes into their respective robe pockets and looked up at Professor Snape who was making his way toward them. He came up beside the two and looked down his crooked nose at them. "Class has begun. We don't care about your silly little love lives." With that he turned and strode to the front of the room as Ron turned and whispered toward Harry.

"That's because the greasy git has never had one." It took all the self-control Harry had not to laugh out loud.

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As Ginny settled into her seat in Charms, she triumphantly pulled the two envelopes she had retrieved from the table in the Great Hall. Her triumphant look turned to one of dismay as she noticed hers and Hermione's handwriting.

"I can't believe it," she mumbled out loud. "I would have sworn I picked up the ones the owl delivered." She carefully turned the envelopes over, looking for any sign they weren't the ones the girls had made the previous night. There was nothing to indicate they were the ones.

"Great," she moaned a little louder, "so who has the bad ones?"

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Hermione carefully pulled her Arithmency books from her bag, laid out a fresh roll of parchment and positioned her ink bottle at the top of the right corner of the desk. She then carefully laid her pen next to the parchment in anticipation of the start of class. It was only then that she reached down into her bag and withdrew the two valentines she had carried in her bag from the time the four of them had left Gryffindor Tower. She scowled at the cards and wrinkled her nose in a sign of frustration and disgust that Ron had been able to wrestle the envelopes away from her right before knocking over the pumpkin juice and causing an incredible commotion in the Great Hall.

Hermione felt herself once again blushing at the thought of students jumping up from the table to avoid getting drenched with spilled juice, not to mention all of the heads that had turned in their direction. She was, after all, a prefect. She had a certain image to uphold. However, given that Ron, or perhaps one of the others, had the bad cards, she wasn't sure what would happen to her prefect image if people got a chance to read them. She growled to herself and mumbled, "Who has the bad cards?"

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Harry and Ron were happy to be through with Potions until the next week as they eagerly exited the foul-smelling room and started up the first flight of stairs. Harry pulled the two envelopes from his pocket.

"Do you think we have enough time to go somewhere and open the envelopes?" It was only after he had said this that he noticed Ginny at the top of the stairs. She had been standing with her wand ready, waiting for them to emerge from their classroom. When she saw Harry actually pull the envelopes from his pocket, her eyes lit up with glee.

She pointed her wand at the surprised-looking Harry and yelled "Accio valentines!" The envelopes flew from Harry's hand up the stairwell and into Ginny's waiting hand. She chuckled loudly, turned and disappeared up the next staircase.

Ron took a step up and was waving a clenched fist where Ginny had been standing. "Ginny, you little . . ."

"Language, Weasley," drawled a voice behind him. They turned to see Draco Malfoy a few steps behind them.

"I didn't swear, you bloody Slytherin slime ball."

"Now you did." Draco smirked as another Slytherin poked his head back into the classroom to call Professor Snape.

Harry, who had finally come to his senses, noticed the Slytherin and realized they better make their escape. "Come on, Ron, before Snape comes out." The two raced up the flights of stairs and into the entry way in time to see Ginny zip out the door toward her next class, Herbology.
This time, Ron did swear, while Harry stared after her with a shrewd expression on his face.

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By the time Ginny reached Herbology, the class had already begun and she quickly placed her book bag on the floor near the others. She knew she would be getting dirty, most students usually did, so she placed the bad envelopes into the front of her bag (surely she would have time after class to light them on fire), pulled off her robes and put on a smock which was hanging on a peg. Ginny then hurried over to the other students who had congregated near some newly arrived Flitterblooms in crates.

As Ginny tried to listen to Professor Sprout lecture about the proper method of fertilizing and watering the plants, movement at the corner of her eye caused her to glance back at the doorway and the large assortment of book bags, robes, cloaks and other items the students had discarded upon entering the greenhouse. Ginny did a double-take and it still took a moment for her to comprehend what she was seeing. Her book bag was floating in the air and the two envelopes were being removed. She gasped and took off running toward the doorway. The envelopes disappeared in mid-air. The bag dropped onto the floor with a thud as Ginny finally found her voice and yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Harry Potter! I know it's you. You bring those back right now. I mean it, Harry!" Ginny stood glaring through the apparently empty doorway for a moment before she slowly turned around and found the entire class and Professor Sprout staring at her. She pointedly ignored them, grabbed her bag, and took one look inside. Hell! He had gotten the bad ones.

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Ron dropped his book bag to the floor beside him and sat wearily down across from Harry who was eating his steak and kidney pie with a very smug expression. He leaned forward so other students arriving for lunch couldn't hear him.

"Well, what are we going to do about getting those valentines back from Ginny?"

"We already did." Harry smiled at Ron's shocked expression as he lifted a glass of pumpkin juice to his lips.

"But, but . . .how?"

Harry leaned across to Ron and whispered, "The invisibility cloak. I skived off the beginning of Care of Magical Creatures and took the points off for being late. I'll have to apologize to Hagrid later. Anyway, I got my invisibility cloak, went down to the greenhouse and got the envelopes out of her bag. She saw me - well, she saw the bag floating - but she wasn't able to get to me in time."

Ron and Harry were still laughing when they noticed Ginny charging up the aisle between the tables. She stopped behind Ron and stood there, red-faced and glaring. Finally, she said in a voice loud enough that a number of Gryffindors and several Ravenclaws turned to watch.

"Harry Potter! Wipe that smirk off your face, you miserable . . ." She stopped in mid-sentence when she realized they had an audience. After a moment's contemplation, she continued a little more quietly, "I'd finish that, but I don't want to shock anyone. However, I'm sure you could fill in the blank." Some of the students snickered, while several first years looked on with wide eyes.

Harry grinned at Ginny. "Knowing the Weasley proficiency at swearing, I can think of several words you might have in mind."

Ginny leaned forward a little and placed her hands on her hips. "Good. Feel free to use whichever word, or words, you want. They all fit."

Ron burst out laughing and Harry's grin widened. Ginny gave Ron a big shove and growled, "Move over," as she sat down across from Harry. She then leaned forward and whispered, "You and your invisibility cloak. You cost Gryffindor five points because I was, in Professor Sprout's opinion, screaming into thin air. She and the rest of her class think I'm nutters. Now give me those valentines before I get violent." Ron, who had just lifted a glass to his lips, laughed hard and sprayed pumpkin juice across the table. The seventh-year Gryffindor from that morning jumped back, falling backwards off the bench. He stood up to a chorus of laughter and complained loudly about Ron's continued problems with pumpkin juice.

Ron was attempting to apologize to the people around him and Ginny was still threatening Harry when the three saw Professor McGonagall advancing toward them with an extremely perturbed look on her face.

"Uh, oh,' muttered Harry, "Professor McGonagall's coming."

"Let's go," Ron whispered back as he adjusted his robes and picked up his books. As he did so, Ginny noticed the two envelopes he had put into his pocket at the beginning of potions. Her eyes widened in surprise. She glanced at Harry in puzzlement, back at the envelopes, and then back at Harry with eyes now narrowed in contemplation.

"I guess I'll go with you two boys, I wasn't that hungry anyway."

As the three left the Great Hall, Ron turned and confronted his sister. "Ginny, why are you following us?"

"I'm not. There's only one way out of the Great Hall.'

"Well, we're out. Now go away. Don't you have a class to get to?"

Ginny gave him a sour look. "Don't you?"

"Yours is a lot further away."

"Fine!" She stuck her tongue out, turned and walked toward one of the corridors. Both boys watched for a moment and then Harry turned to Ron.

"Okay, let's go somewhere and open these valentines, see which ones are the bad ones and then give the girls the good ones before we make them hate us forever. Maybe they'll really like them and they'll forgive us for all our fighting with them today." Harry didn't hold out a whole lot of hope for that, but he thought they'd have to do something to make up for it, otherwise the girls might never speak to them again.

"Okay, but first I've really got to go somewhere myself."

"What?"

"What do you think, Harry? Just wait a minute or so. I'll be right back." Ron hurried across the entry hall and down another corridor. Harry turned and watched the doorway to the Great Hall to make sure Professor McGonagall had not followed them. It had only been a few minutes when Harry heard Ron screaming at the top of his lungs. He ran across the large entryway and down the hall to where Ron was standing outside the boy's loo. He was standing there with a wild look in his eyes as he frantically searched up and down the hallway.

"What's wrong, Ron?"

"Ginny! Ginny took the envelopes!"

"What do you mean Ginny took . . .uh, Ron, zip up."

Ron turned and looked at Harry as if he were seeing him for the first time. "W-what?"

Harry felt himself blushing a little as several fourth year Hufflepuff girls walked by and began giggling. He tried not to speak too loudly. "Your trousers, Ron, zip up your trousers! Before we entertain even more of the school than we already are." Ron looked at Harry for a moment, then down at his trousers' undone zipper, gave a loud curse and proceeded to zip up. Then Harry proceeded. "Now, what are you talking about Ginny taking your envelopes?"

"It was a sneak attack, Harry. She crept up behind me and stole the valentines."

Harry gave Ron an incredulous look. "When?"

"Just a minute ago," Ron yelled, looking even more agitated than before. "She followed me in there," Ron pointed toward the loo, "and took the envelopes out of my robe pocket."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he looked toward the loo and then back at Ron. "Ginny followed you into the boy's loo!?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"She actually went into the boy's loo?"

They both turned as they heard an amused laugh and saw Ginny walking toward them from up the corridor, a definite strut in her stride. "Don't worry, Harry, I made sure there weren't any other guys in there."

"Oh, that's comforting."

Ron sprang toward her and grabbed her robes. "Where are they, Ginny? Where're my bloody envelopes?"

"I don't have them. I gave them to Hermione."

"You're lying!"

"I am not. You can check my robe pockets and book bag. I don't have them."

"That was really low of you, Ginny. I can't believe you'd actually come into the boy's loo and creep up on me while I was peeing."

Harry, who had been looking at both of them in disbelief, turned to Ginny. "I can't believe it either. I can't believe you actually went in there while he was . . . uh . . ."

Ginny's face turned crimson, but she gave an evil grin. "Well, it isn't like I haven't seen him before."

Harry's mouth dropped open, he blinked several times, he then turned and looked at Ron in shock. Ron's ears were a bright red and his eyes were bulging out.

"We were little! She hasn't seen me like . . . that since we were both little!" He turned and glared at Ginny. "Tell him, Ginny. You haven't seen me since I was little." Ginny turned toward her class as the corridor began to fill with more students, several of whom were trying to eavesdrop the now-loud conversation.

"Oh well, Ron, I'm sure, uh, things haven't changed that much since you were little."

Amid gasps, giggles, and several loud guffaws, Ron pulled his wand out and aimed it at Ginny's back. "That isn't true! That just isn't true! Ginny, take that back!" Harry grabbed Ron's arm, forcibly lowering the wand, which was practically humming with Ron's desire to shoot a curse at Ginny's retreating figure.

"Aaah! I can't believe we just had this conversation! Put your wand back in your pocket, Ron. People are staring at you - at us. We've got to get those envelopes back from Hermione.

"I've got her in Transfiguration right now. I'll go get them from her." Ron looked around at several students still standing staring at him. "What are you all looking at? Go to class."

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By the time Ron arrived in Transfiguration class, Hermione was already occupying the table at which she and Ron usually sat. She looked up as he sat down and eyed her suspiciously. Noticing Ron's odd behavior, Hermione got worried at the thought that perhaps Harry and Ron had gotten ahold of the twins' valentines. However, she quickly realized that was not the case.

"So, Hermione, where were you during lunch?'

"I was in the library looking up some things for potions class. I have that right after this."

"Sure you were. You and Ginny were working together. That's how she was able to pass them off to you."

"Believe what you want, Ron," Hermione said in relief, trying not to smile. If he was interrogating her, it meant Ginny had the bad ones, and not the boys.

"I will." Ron reached down and grabbed Hermione's book bag and began to rummage through it.

"Ron Weasley," Hermione whispered loudly, "get your hands out of my book bag. Have you ever thought I might have personal things in there?" Ron got a horrified look on his face and gingerly handed the bag back to Hermione. She gave him a smug smile as Dean and Seamus, who were sitting at the table in front of them, glanced back and snickered. Ron's eyes narrowed.

"That was a low-down trick. You don't have anything personal in there." Hermione held on tightly to her bag.

"It's none of your business what I have or don't have in here."

"I know you have them, Hermione. Ginny admitted she gave you the valentines. Now, I'm going to get them back even if I have to dump your bag out and empty your pockets."

Hermione got a shocked look on her face and said in voice louder than she had planned, "Don't you dare try to search me."

Several people turned and looked at the two of them, including Dean and Seamus who were both grinning broadly. Ron was about to tell them to mind their own business when Professor McGonagall's crisp, no-nonsense voice could be heard right behind them.

"Mr. Weasley. Miss Granger. I don't know what all of this is about, but I've had more than enough for today. If either of you continue with this, I will take points from Gryffindor House. Now, Mr. Weasley, I don't think you'll be sitting by Miss Granger during this class. Get your books and go over to that table." She pointed to a table at the back but at the other side of the classroom.

Ron frowned in frustration but obediently picked up his books and walked over to the table settling into the chair and glancing back at Hermione. He was even more frustrated to see her grinning triumphantly at him. For the next hour during the lecture and transfiguring exercises, Ron and Hermione played a silent and secretive game of cat and mouse as Ron attempted to get the valentines from her.

His first attempt was to use the summoning spell and Accio the bag to him. However, Hermione was obviously ready for him as she whispered "Protego" and smirked at him as the bag remained at her feet. He tried the Accio spell a couple of more times, but to no avail. He studied the bag for quite a long time. The frustrating thing was that he could see the white envelopes right on top of the stuff in her bag. They were sort of calling out to him, practically begging to be stolen. Finally, very quietly, he whispered Wingardium Leviosa and maneuvered his wand as the valentines slipped quietly out of the top of the bag. They floated silently up into the air and Ron was just about to float them over to himself when Hermione looked up. She squealed in frustration and grabbed the valentines out of the air, stuffing them back into her bag again, all the way to the bottom, and turned back to him with a smug smirk.

"Is there a problem, Miss Granger?"asked Professor McGonagall as she observed Hermione pushing the envelopes back into the bottom of her bag.

"No, Professor. I've got everything under control." Professor McGonagall shot Ron a nasty look and he looked down studiously at his parchment, which should have been full of notes but was completely empty. In desperation, Ron came up with another idea. He waited awhile until he was sure Hermione had again begun to pay attention to Professor McGonagall. He trained his wand onto the book bag and then transfigured it to have little legs and feet. After that, he spent several moments quietly trying to coax the bag to walk over to him. The bag finally stood up on its wobbly legs and slowly made its way over to Ron.

By this point, the class was busily involved in its exercises and Ron hurriedly rummaged through the bag until he found the two envelopes. He glanced up at Hermione and saw her looking for her bag. He muttered a curse word under his breath, reversed the transfiguration spell and then banished the bag. It landed softly at Hermione's feet on the other side of desk from where she had put it. She looked up suspiciously at Ron but he pretended to be busy at work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fifteen minutes later, Ron eagerly jumped up and practically sprinted out of the Transfiguration classroom at the sound of the bell. Usually he would wait for Hermione and she frowned a little about how he had left without even saying anything to her. She looked down at her bag, scowled, picked it up and began searching through it. That's when the explanation for Ron's haste became clear. He had the cards.

Hermione swore under her breath and then looked around quickly to make sure no one had heard her swear. She then quickly gathered her books, parchment and ink bottle, placing them all in her bag. As she did so, she tried to remind herself that she had the good cards, so even if Ron did open and read them, there wouldn't be anything suggestive or embarrassing. It wouldn't be quite how she wanted him to get them, but it wouldn't be that bad.

Hermione exited the classroom and then turned the direction she knew Ron usually took. Sure enough, as she turned the corner and into another corridor, there were Ron, Seamus and Dean. Ron was holding an open valentine and all three of them were laughing.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Sure, the valentine wasn't the best drawn nor the best written in the world, but still, it had been meant to be sweet and perhaps a little sentimental. It had been meant to make him open his eyes and see she wanted more than just a regular friendship She couldn't believe he would not only have the audacity to laugh at it, but show it to his roommates so they could all laugh together. She began marching forward and, as she did so, she pulled her wand. "Laugh at my valentine, will you?" She pointed the wand and yelled.

"Incendio valentine!"

The valentine burst into flames and Ron yelled and dropped it out of his hands. Seamus made a wailing sound and reached out to catch the ashes. All three looked up in shock as Ron roared. "Hermione! What the hell did you just do?"

"You burned my valentine," Seamus wailed. "You burned the valentine Lavender gave me. Why? Why did you burn my valentine?"

Hermione put her hands up to her mouth in embarrassment. "Oh! Oh no. I'm so sorry, Seamus! I thought it was Ron's."

"Your bloody nutters, Hermione. You don't burn valentines, you give them to each other."

"I know, Seamus. I know."

"Then why did you burn my valentine?" However, Ron had already figured out why and he turned to go find Harry. He had to burn these blasted things and get this entire mess over with. Hermione saw Ron turn to run the other way and immediately aimed her wand at him. The small crowd that had gathered around the commotion ducked and scrambled to get out of the way.

"Petrificus totalus!"

Ron made a yelp, froze straight and fell forwards. Hermione pocketed her wand, walked over nonchalantly to his frozen frame, rummaged through his pockets, and found the two envelopes. She put them in her own pocket and stood up. By now, there was a large crowd of students staring at her wide-eyed. She looked at Dean, still standing there with his own wand out, and at Seamus who was now kneeling trying to pick up the remaining ashes before they blew away. She asked Dean to undo the spell after she was gone and then quickly headed to Potions class.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Harry waited patiently behind the statue of Bedelia the Bedraggled, an eighteenth-century Irish witch. The more he had thought about Ginny's claim of giving the envelopes to Hermione, the more he was sure it was a bluff. Just like the great military commanders of the past, Ginny had sent a feint one direction hoping to divert his and Ron's attention while she got away with the real goods. Well, not this time.

He watched as Ginny came out of Defense Against the Dark Arts class with her roommate, Elspeth. As Ginny had been late getting to class, this would be the first they were really able to talk. Sure enough, as the two girls walked down the corridor toward Harry's hiding place, he heard Ginny talking to her friend.

"Thanks for holding the two envelopes for me, Elspeth."

"Sure, Ginny. But, you know, it's kind of strange. I thought you said they were for . . ."

Harry didn't wait for the rest. He sprang out in a full frontal assault. "Accio valentines!"

The valentines flew out of Elspeth's hands right as she was handing them to Ginny. Both girls looked at Harry mouths open in surprise. Ginny reached for her wand, but Harry was too quick. He performed the Talentalegra spell and she began dancing uncontrollably and vainly trying to aim her wand at Harry.

"I'm sorry, Ginny. I had to do that." Harry didn't wait around for Elspeth to undo the spell. He took off at a brisk walk toward the Transfiguration classroom. Ron would probably be heading this direction and he needed to find him so they could sort out who had which set and burn the bad ones. Either that, or they should just burn the whole lot and be done with the mess.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Harry was hurrying along the corridor toward the main staircases. He practically knocked Ron over when the red-head came crashing around a corner in a dead run. He slid to a stop in front of Harry, gasping to catch his breath and spitting out confusing half-sentences.

"Hermione. She attacked me from behind. She . . . she . . . she . . . has them. She has them . . ."

"I don't know what you're talking about Ron, but here are the envelopes."

"How . . . how did you . . ."

"Never mind. Let's just open these things and get this over with."

Harry handed Ron a set of envelopes and withdrew from his pocket another set. Just as he did so, a bright yellow light flashed between the two of them. They both jumped back and turned to see the source of the spell. At the far end of the corridor stood a very angry-looking Ginny Weasley and a rather scared-looking Elspeth McCray. Harry's eyes grew wide.

"Never mind, Ron. Let's get back to our dorm room as fast as we can."

"Good idea. You go right and I'll go the longer way, to the left. She can only follow one of us."

"Great!" The two parted and started running. After a moment or so, Harry looked back and was disgusted to see that both of the girls had followed him. He turned and waved in the direction Ron had run.

"Hey, what about him? Follow him!"

"Yeah, you wish, Potter." Harry just kept running. Surely he could outrun the two younger girls. Their legs were quite a bit shorter than his.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The day's classes had just finished and the students came pouring happily out of their various classrooms. The noise was loud and filled with laughs and well wishes as people exchanged valentines, couples held hands and the students headed toward their respective houses, the library and the Great Hall. Suddenly, the amiable hubbub was silenced by a lone figure running frantically down one of the corridors toward the staircases and screaming for people to get out of the way.

"That's Harry Potter!"a third-year Gryffindor exclaimed.

"I wonder what he's running for?" asked a fourth-year Ravenclaw girl.

"I don't know, but he looks scared," observed a seventh-year Hufflepuff.

"Oh, oh no. Y-you don't think it's You-Know-Who?" asked a fearful first-year Hufflepuff.

"Blimey, I don't know, but I'm not going to wait to find out," screamed a fifth-year Ravenclaw who grabbed his girlfriend by her hand and started running.

This set off a wave of screaming, running students who were trying to escape wherever they could. Harry ran through them as best as he could, hoping to make it to the stairs and get up the Gryffindor Tower as quickly as possible. However, they were impeding his way and he knew Ginny was going to catch up to him. He tried to push his way through the throng, hoping to get some protection with them between him and Ginny. Unfortunately, the students were younger and shorter than he was, and he was easily spotted in the throng. And she, apparently, had no compunction about harming the innocent. She tried to do a bat-bogey hex on him but accidently hit another student. The student screamed in disgust. Harry decided that all was fair in love and war and shot a quick jelly legs spell over the head of the now-panicked students (who apparently thought he was fighting dark wizards) toward the redhead practically breathing fire on the other side of the crowd.

As Harry streaked around the corner and away from the scene of the battle he heard the sounds of some students screaming in disgust at the bat-bogey hex, intermingled with Ginny's threats of what she was going to do when she caught up to him.

Thus Harry was hurrying as quickly as he could through the now completely-panicked crowd. He could hear Ginny yelling from a distance as she ran along the corridors to catch up to him. He had to get through all of this crowd. Finally he yelled as loud as he could.

"Stop!"

Everyone, for some unknown reason, seemed to obey. They stopped and looked at him with interest.

"What is everyone running and screaming for?"

"B-because You-Know-Who is after you."

"You've got to be kidding!?"

"No, we're not kidding," a seventh-year Ravenclaw snarled. "Why else would you be running with such a scared look?"

The people all around Harry turned and looked at the sound of Ginny running rapidly along the corridor. She stopped for a moment and screamed, "I'll get you, Harry Potter, you son of a . . ."

"That's why!" Harry yelled as he again began to push his way through the crowd. "I took her valentines, and you don't ever want a Weasley angry at you."

A number of the students started to laugh, while others made a few rude comments about what he could do with those valentines. Either way, they began to disperse and Harry was able to make it up the first flight of stairs. He ran along the corridor and was just about to start up the next flight of stairs when he ran into Hermione. Both of them stared at each other in surprise and then quickly picked themselves up off of the floor. Hermione was the first to speak.

"Not to be rude, Harry, but watch where you're going!"

"Why were you running?"

"Ron's after me."

Harry got a surprised look on his face. "Why? We have the envelopes." Hermione grabbed her wand and stunned him, making him fall back.

"Wrong! I got them back" Hermione turned to go when all of a sudden Ron's voice could be heard one flight of stairs down.

"Harry, are you okay? Don't trust her, she'll hex you when your back is turned."

All Harry could do was stagger to his feet. He reached for his wand when he was hit with an impedimenta spell. He turned as he fell backward and saw Ginny hurrying up to him.

"I got you! You lying, sneaky son of a . . ."

"Ginny!" both Hermione and Elspeth, who had been following closely behind her roommate, yelled. "Don't swear."

Ginny looked dutifully chagrined. "Sorry. It's the Weasley in me."

Before Ginny could do anything else, Hermione grabbed her robe and tugged. "Come on. I've got them already! Let's get out of here; Ron's after me." The three girls started running up the stairs as Ron arrived to help Harry to his feet.

Harry seemed to be trying his best to focus his eyes and move his legs. "I . . . I can't believe it. They can be vicious. Hermione attacked me for no reason."

"Yeah. Tell me about it. Well, I'm going to get her back. Come on."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The chase to Gryffindor Tower was quick. The boys were only a few seconds behind the girls when they entered the common room. The students lounging in the common room had various reactions to the commotion at the portrait hole. Some of them immediately scattered, finding refuge behind pieces of furniture and up in their dorm rooms. Others let out whoops and hollers of glee and anticipation for a fight. It was more than obvious that the story of the day-long war between the four had been relayed to their fellow Gryffindors.

As the girls entered the commons room, Ginny called to Zina, another one of her roommates.

"Take these envelopes and don't let Harry or Ron get them." She tossed the envelopes to the girl and turned to face her brother and friend.

Ron, who had seen the pass off, yelled, "Somebody grab Zina and take the envelopes away." Ginny watched in frustration as two first-year boys with grinning faces grabbed Zina's arms and began to pry the envelopes out of her fingers. A couple of other girls came to her rescue. At the same time, Hermione sent a spell over the heads of the boys. They yelled and ducked, but had succeeded in getting the envelopes. Both of them began to run up the stairs toward the boys' dorm, but were caught from behind by Zina and a few fourth-year girls. They proceeded to drag the two boys back down the stairs. The two were sprawled out spread-eagled on the floor with the girls holding their arms and legs down. Zina was yelling at them about having respect for older students while she forced the envelopes out of their hands.

Meanwhile, Ron had charged head-on toward Hermione and was now trying to search her robe pockets even as she was angrily trying to push him away.

"Ron Weasley, don't you dare touch me like that!"

Ron laughed and attempted to pinion her arms back with one arm while he grabbed into her robe pockets. Just as he felt the envelopes in her right robe packet, he was shoved from behind and went tumbling into an overstuffed chair which fell over with him in it. Ron looked up with a bewildered expression on his face to see the seventh-year he had sprayed with pumpkin juice at lunch.

"There you go, Pumpkin Juice Boy. Figured I might return the favor." Hermione grinned at him appreciatively and he returned the smile as he walked back to his study table which now had a couple of second-year girls crouching underneath watching the mayhem from out of harm's way.

While Ron and Hermione were skirmishing, Harry had gathered his forces for a flanking attack. He had enlisted Dennis Creevey and three other friends to rescue the now wailing first-years from the wrath of Zina and her cohorts. While the four attempted their rescue, Harry went for Ginny who, rather than retreat, attacked head-on in an effort to keep him from the envelopes Zina was still holding. In the process of trying to do a body block, and whether planned or unplanned she never did fully explain, Ginny's knee met its mark. Harry whimpered as he sank to the floor.

"Oh Ginny, why . . . why did you do that?"

Ginny's face was almost as red as her hair as she apologized. However, halfway through the apology she got a puzzled look on her face as she noticed two envelopes sticking out of Harry's pocket. She glanced over at Hermione who, at that moment, had not yet been rescued by the seventh-year, and decided that somehow or another, Ron must have captured Hermione's valentines and passed them on to Harry. She immediately reached down and pulled them from Harry's robe pocket.

Harry attempted to yell for reenforcements, but nothing more than a high-pitched squeak of frustration passed his lips. He pulled out his wand and squeaked "jelly legs." Ginny sank to the floor and Harry began crawling over to her. She yelled for Elspeth, who had found safety behind another overstuffed chair.

"Elspeth, here!"

Elspeth ran over to retrieve the envelopes from Ginny's outstretched hand. Harry forced his voice to sound deeper and not as pain-filled.

"No! Don't, Elspeth!"

She smiled. "Sorry, Harry. Ginny's my roommate. We stick together."

Meanwhile, the rescue attempt of the two hapless first-years had become a raging battle as more reenforcements poured in from both sides. Dennis and his companions had successfully rescued the two boys and had then tried to get the envelopes back when Megan, another roommate of Ginny's, had led yet another rescue party of a second-year girl and a third-year girl. They had pushed Dennis off Zina, laid out one of the third-year boys, and were sending the others retreating, knocking over even more chairs. However, that had not been before several of the boys had "captured" one of the fourth-year girls by holding her down by her arms and legs.

Harry and Ron, both of whom were shakily getting to their feet and licking their wounds, had noticed the "captured" girl and had yelled at the "captors."

"Boys! Get off of her. You don't treat a girl that way!"

They had let go and started to apologize when she punched one of the first-years in the nose and he and a couple of others had gone racing up the stairs toward a bathroom to stem the flow of blood. The others had fled from the reenforcements in order to regroup and organize a counter-attack. This was quickly done when Dean and Seamus stepped forward to help.

Dean grabbed Elspeth as she scurried past him and away from Harry. He picked her up off of the ground as she continued to move her legs as if she were still running. She looked at him in dreaded anticipation with her wide blue eyes. He grinned at her as he pulled the envelopes from her hand.

"Sorry, Elspeth. You're a sweet girl and all, but they're my mate's envelopes."

He then went over and gently tossed her onto one of the couches. Seamus, however, was not as gentle as he faced the full brunt of the Zina-led defense. Spells were flying right and left, as Seamus caught up with Zina. She glanced around for an escape and, finding none, looked over at Ginny, grinned, shrugged and handed the valentines to Seamus. He laughed, thanked her and turned around to go back to Harry when all of a sudden Zina jumped onto his back and began reaching over his shoulders to snatch the envelopes away. He called to Dean and tossed the envelopes his direction.

However, a small first-year girl caught the envelopes in mid-air and turned toward Ginny, only to be picked up by Andrew Sloper. He hefted the screaming little girl over his shoulder, pulled the envelopes out of her hand and unceremoniously dumped her onto one of the couches which was knocked over by Sloper, himself, when he was stupefied by Neville Longbottom. Neville walked over to Andrew and the first-year who was trying furiously to push him off of her so she could get away. Neville leaned over, pulled the valentines from Andrew and started walking toward Hermione.

Harry yelled over at Neville. "What are you doing, Neville?"

Neville grinned sheepishly. "Sorry Harry. Hermione and Ginny are prettier than you and Ron."

Harry couldn't help but grin back. He certainly couldn't argue with that. Neville was almost to Hermione when the light of a spell flashed by him and bounced off a picture hanging on the wall. Fortunately, the occupant of the picture had long since escaped to safer and quieter frames. The spell ricocheted back and hit Colin Creevey who, as soon as the battle had begun, had fetched his camera and had been taking pictures of the melee. It was a Petrificus totalus hex and Colin immediately froze up and fell over with the camera still in his hands. Fortunately for him and the camera, he fell backward.

Neville tried to duck behind an overturned chair, but wasn't fast enough. He was hit with a giggling spell and fell into a giggling heap on the floor. Lavender Brown, the source of both of those spells, hurried over to him and grabbed the envelopes before Hermione could reach him. Hermione looked at Lavender in shock.

"Lavender, you're my roommate."

"Yeah, and you burned up my valentine."

"It was an accident!"

"You knew how long I worked on that!"

"Don't worry. Seamus will still take you out and snog with you tonight - valentine or no valentine. Besides," Hermione assumed a very self-righteous tone, "Seamus and the others were laughing at it."

"It was meant to be funny!"

"Oh -- oops."

Before Hermione could say anything else, Ron crossed quickly to Lavender and grabbed the envelopes. He turned them over to read them.

"How many bloody envelopes are there? These are addressed to us!"

"Never mind, Ron!" Hermione knocked him over with a stunning blast, grabbed the envelopes and began backing away. She reached into her pocket and grabbed the valentines she had been carrying. Holding all four in the same hand, she was about to burn them all when both Ron and Harry ran at her. She yelled in surprise and threw all four of them up into the air. The two boys fell to their knees to retrieve them, only to have a couple of third-year girls grab them up and hand two of them to Hermione and two to Elspeth.

Elspeth looked at the envelopes as if they were poison and immediately moved to pass them off to Ginny, who had finally had someone reverse the jelly legs spell. However, before she could reach Ginny, Parvati Patil grabbed them and handed them to Lavender who started running toward Seamus. Ginny watched for a moment and then aimed her wand at the decorations hanging above Lavender. With a quick spell, the valentines and crepe paper fell onto Lavender's head and she went tumbling, a big ball of valentines, streamers, arms and legs.

Hermione hurried over to where Lavender had dropped the envelopes on the floor, picked them up and gave a triumphant laugh as she turned and ran toward the stairway to the girls' dorm. She had gone up about eight to ten steps when Ron, who had taken off after her, began climbing. She stopped and grinned gleefully at him.

"Did you forget what will happen if a boy tries to climb the stairs?"

He looked up at her with a wicked smirk. "No, I didn't."

Hermione had only a moment for the cruel realization to set in before there was a loud siren and the stairs turned into a giant slide. Everyone in the commons room stopped, turned and watched as Ron slid the few feet to the bottom of the stairs where he landed in a heap with legs stretched out across the floor and arms still outstretched up the slide. However, it was what happened to Hermione that caught the people's attention. As soon as the stairs had turned into a slide, she had also lost her balance and had begun sliding feet first down toward Ron. Worse yet, her open robes had flown out behind her and her school skirt had risen up as she slid. She had tried unsuccessfully with her one free hand to keep the skirt down at a modest length, but the momentum was too much and her skirt had bunched round her waist revealing bright pink, very lacy underwear with even brighter pink hearts all over it.

At the sounds of gasps intermingled with snickers and laughter and the realization that practically all of Gryffindor Tower was seeing her underwear, Hermione threw down the envelopes and used both hands to try to pull her skirt down. Ron, who had just landed and had begun to pick himself up, was literally hit in the face by the envelopes. He grabbed the envelopes and looked up at Hermione with a big grin, only to have his eyes bug out at the sight. He immediately held his free hand up to his eyes, while he still had the other hand up holding the prize.

Between the laughter and catcalls, Hermione heard one of the younger boys comment to his friend, "Who'd have guessed the prefect would wear knickers like those?"

Seamus said in a loud voice, "Nice knickers, Hermione. Would you like me to set them on fire?" Hermione gave him a terrified expression, shook her head frantically and held her skirt down tight against her legs.

Ron turned his head for a moment, cast a mean glance toward Seamus and growled. "Don't talk about Hermione's knickers." That comment caused a new round of laughter and a few rude comments. Ron turned back to Hermione and, with his hand still over his eyes, he offered to help her stand up.

Sensing the moment of opportunity, Hermione reached forward to grab the envelopes from Ron's hand. However, before she could grasp them, Seamus yelled, "Hermione, we can still see your knickers."

Hermione squealed in terror and looked down to check her skirt. Ron, sensing he had almost made a big mistake, began to run back over to his side. She jumped up, pointed her wand and yelled "Petrificus totalus!"

Ron's eyes went big and he muttered, "Oh shi . . ." He never finished as he stiffened and fell to the floor with a large thunk.

Ginny ran and grabbed the valentines, only to be tackled and thrown onto an empty couch by Harry as the battle took up again in full fury. Hexes were being yelled back and forth, people were dodging behind pieces of furniture, others were wrestling with each other, and a few girls had jumped onto the backs of some boys.

Harry and Ginny were having a frantic wrestling match as Harry tried desperately to grab the envelopes. He finally was able to pry them out of Ginny's fingers when Ginny got an angry look on her face and yelled, "Harry Potter, you watch where you put your hands!" Harry got a horrified look on his face, then sat up with his hands up in the air as if to show his innocence.

"I didn't touch you anywhere! At least, I don't think I did."

Ginny got a big grin on her face, sat up, grabbed the envelopes and gave Harry a big shove.
"You didn't." She took off running toward the portrait hole. Harry jumped up, aimed his wand and yelled the binding spell. Ginny ducked right as the cords shot out of his wand and they flew over her head where they hit and wound around Professor Minerva McGonagall.

Everyone in the common room froze in mid-action of casting spells, wrestling, and ransacking as they looked at her angry face and realized what had happened. She quickly scanned the room and all of its occupants. Valentine's decorations dangling and ripped; furniture overturned; boys and girls in various stages of wrestling or casting spells at each other; Ron and several others sprawled on the floor and the other three looking the worse for wear. Harry wasn't sure he had ever seen her this angry.

"Potter! Get these off of me at once." Harry quickly obeyed and then McGonagall looked directly at Harry and then Hermione.

"What in the name of Merlin, Odin and Thor is going on in here?"

The stunned silence turned into a cacophony of excuses, explanations and some crying as just about every student in the room started to talk at once.

"Silence! In all of my years, I have never seen anything like this." She looked down at Ron's petrified figure, raised her wand and undid the spell binding him. He sat up and was just about to swear when he realized everyone was standing in silent dread staring at the doorway.

"What?"

He turned, saw McGonagall and groaned loudly.

"I should think so, Mr. Weasley," McGonagall said through clenched teeth. "Now, I want the four of you, Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley, and Mr. Weasley, to tell me everything. All day you four have been causing trouble. Now, out with it."

Hermione, stifled a small sob, "It all has to do with those valentines the twins sent."

Harry and Ron looked at her in shock and then Ron blurted out, "How did you know about them? We've spent the whole day trying to get them and tear them up before you were able to read them."

"Why would you want to keep them from us? They're for you."

"No, Ginny," Harry said in confusion, "they were intended for you and Hermione."

"Yeah, they were going to make us look stupid in front of you and the rest of the school," Ron added.

"Oh, now Pumpkin Juice Boy is worried about looking stupid. What about at lunch when . . ." The seventh-year saw the look in Professor McGonagall's eyes and his voice died out. He cleared his throat, muttered an apology, and sat back down at his table. She turned to the four.

"It appears there might be more than just one pair of valentines."

"Oh yes," Hermione offered eagerly, "Ginny and I made real valentines to make up for the suggestive ones the twins were sending and to hopefully let the boys know how we fee . . ." She put her hand up to her mouth and blushed a bright crimson as she realized what she was saying in front of Ron, Harry, and the rest of Gryffindor Tower. Ginny groaned, hung her head and cast a shy, sideways glance toward Harry. Both he and Ron appeared to be dumbfounded and Ron couldn't seem to take his eyes off Hermione.

Harry finally cleared his throat. "Professor McGonagall. Ron and I also made valentines for the girls for . . . well, for pretty much the same reason. We wanted to make up for the valentines that the twins were sending and, well . . ."

"You mean to tell me," Hermione broke in, "they not only sent valentines from Ginny and me to the two of you, but also valentines from you to us?"

"That's what we've been trying to say!" Ron practically shouted.

"I guess so," Harry said a little more quietly. "Ron and I only knew about the ones they were sending to you, and of course the ones we made for you. We didn't know there were also ones from you." Professor McGonagall, who had been watching all four in through this lengthy explanation held up her hand to stop their speech.

"Am I to understand there were four sets of valentines that were being fought over?"

All four again looked at each other and then nodded in agreement. At Professor McGonagall's curse instructions, the four sets of valentines were produced. It was obvious that Fred and George Weasley were either very good forgers or had a magical charm that allowed them to write like someone else as all four envelopes from the twins looked exactly like the writing of the other four envelopes. In fact, it was impossible to tell which were actually from the twins until they opened them - which they did at McGonagall's command.

To save some embarrassment, the cards were opened by the "givers" rather then the intended recipients. McGonagall had said it would be interesting to see if the contents of the valentines warranted the events of the day. As the four opened their respective envelopes, there were gasps and plenty of blushing. Finally, all eight valentines were reluctantly handed to Professor McGonagall who looked at each one with raised eyebrows. By the time she was finished, even she looked shocked and embarrassed.

"I think I will be having a word or two with Molly Weasley. Tonight." She tucked the valentines into one of her robe pockets and then turned to face the four.

"All of this because Fred and George Weasley somehow felt the four of you were incapable of expressing your . . . feelings." She sighed in obvious disapproval. "While they were most certainly out of line, that does not excuse your behavior today. You have disrupted the whole school with your shenanigans and turned the Gryffindor Common Room into a battlefield. As for the rest of you," she glanced around at the other guilty-looking students, "you have broken numerous rules and made a mess of this place. I want this room clean before any of you go down to dinner. I am taking fifty points from Gryffindor and . . ." She held up her hand to silence the protests. "And, you should be happy I don't take more. The Headmaster will be very displeased when he hears of what happened today."

She then looked directly at the four. "The four of you are going to have a detention. Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger, you two shall report to my classroom tomorrow night at 7:00 p.m. sharp. Miss Weasley and Mr. Potter, you two shall report to my classroom Sunday night at 7:00 p.m. sharp. No more words. That's final."

Professor McGonagall turned to leave and then turned back, looked at Hermione and pointed over to Colin Creevey, still lying on the floor and holding his camera.. "And Miss Granger, could someone please take care of Mr. Creevey?"

With that, she left the room, mumbling something about how in her day a card and candy or flowers had been good enough for Valentine's Day. After she left, the four looked at each other as the rest of the students began to clean the room. Ron frowned.

"Detention on a Saturday night. What could be worse than that?"

"Detention on a Sunday night," moaned Harry.

"Both of us have detention on Sunday night." Ginny looked shyly up into Harry's deep green eyes. She watched as realization flashed in those eyes.

"That's right. Just you and me on Sunday night." He smiled and there was a noticeable sigh of relief from Ginny as she too smiled.

"Yeah, yeah. That's right. And, on Saturday night it's just . . . it's just . . . you and me." Ron turned to a blushing and smiling Hermione. He grinned a broad grin. "Do you think Professor McGonagall did that on purpose?"

Hermione winked at him as she smiled at Ginny and Harry. "What do you think, Ron?"

He thought about it for a minute and then made up his mind. "Nah, what do adults know about romance?"
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