SIYE Time:17:58 on 10th December 2024 SIYE Login: no | | |
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Realizations By any_bunny
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Category: End-of-Term Challenge (2004-2)
Characters:None
Genres: Fluff, Drama
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 9
Summary: On the way home Harry thinks about his time at Hogwarts and the future. He realizes that something is missing in his life. H/G, R/H
Hitcount: Story Total: 5390
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Realizations
The leaving Feast was over, everybody was full and satisfied and piled into the wagons of the Hogwarts Express. Most of the young wizards and witches were chatting excitedly, making plans for the next year, or, the ones that wouldn't return the next year, plans for the future.
Harry was walking slowly behind Hermione and Ron, deep in thought. Ron was holding Hermione's hand. It made Harry smile; finally those two had realized that they were made for each other. He sighed, sometimes watching them made him feel so bitter, made him doubt his ability to lead a normal life, now that Voldemort was gone. "Will I ever have a normal girlfriend?" was the question that was on his mind.
On the train, Ron and Hermione put their things in one compartment, where Neville was already sitting. When Ron and Hermione asked if they wanted to go talk to the other Gryffindor 7th years, Neville agreed, but Harry declined, he didn't feel like celebrating. He wanted some time alone to think about what happened in his last year at Hogwarts.
Flashback — four months earlier:
"Harry, they're coming, we have to do something!" Hermione came running into the Gryffindor Common Room, completely out of breath. Harry, who had been sitting in his favourite chair by the fireplace got up and asked: "What's going on? Whom are you talking about?" He looked confused; normally Hermione was calm and collected, even in the face of danger. " The Death Eaters! They are attacking the school, Harry we have to do something!" That had made Harry nervous, when Hermione was this upset about something it had to be serious. " Gather the members of Dumbledore's Army, and send somebody to tell Dumbledore and McGonagall!"
Harry himself went to the owlery to send Hedwig to London to inform the Order.
Then, when all the members were assembled, Harry proposed a plan. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do, since they were running out of time. He had to trust in the abilities of his friends, and in that moment he trusted them more than ever. All of them had excellent grades in Defence Against The Dark Arts, but especially Hermione, Ron and Ginny were strong.
Hermione had told Harry that Death Eaters were attacking the school, and he told the same thing to the members of Dumbledore's Army. What only he had known was that the Dark Lord, Voldemort himself, was coming. He didn't tell anybody, not even his closest friends, because he knew that that would be the last meeting between him and Voldemort. He would overthrow Voldemort or die, and he knew he had already endangered his friends too many times.
End flashback
Harry smiled briefly. Now, almost four months later, the fight seemed so far away. Only the outcome was important now, they had prevailed and Voldemort was gone, for good this time, if Dumbledore was right. The members of the Order had made it to Hogwarts in time to fend off the last stubborn Death Eaters; especially Lucius Malfoy hadn't been able to accept the fact that Voldemort was gone. Dumbledore had found Harry in the ruins of an old classroom, unconscious, and had brought him to Madame Pomfrey, who had patched him up in no time. Then, for the second time in his live he had been "the boy who lived", the most famous person in the wizarding world.
But it hadn't made him happy. Instead he declined all the invitations to dinner, to Hogsmeade or other things. He began to stick to himself, and the memories of the people that had given their lives for him. More and more often he had found himself looking at the pictures of Sirius and his parents, happily together. He wondered if they were reunited now.
The fact that Ron and Hermione had finally gotten over themselves didn't make things any easier. It just showed him even more how unable he was to lead a normal life. The fight against Voldemort had consumed his seven years at Hogwarts, and now that he was gone, Harry had lost his goals. Somehow not even the thought of becoming an Auror made sense now, when he had defied evil and peace was restored. He was completely aimless, lost in the fog of the possibilities for his future. The others couldn't understand it, but for him, there had been a connection to Voldemort, some kind of magical link that was broken now. He felt alone, and like a part of him had been ripped out. Nothing was left to do for him, he had fulfilled his purpose and now he just wanted peace and quiet…. one goal was left though, he wanted a family, just like his parents, he wanted to get married and have children, just like a normal person…
Suddenly, Harry's brooding was interrupted by Neville's voice: " Harry, whet are you doing? Why aren't you celebrating the end of school with everybody else?" Harry smiled, oh yes he should be there…after all he was their hero. " I just needed some time to think, to be alone…" he replied. Neville just looked at him, knowingly. Then, after a moment of awkward silence, he said: "We are waiting for you, you know! You mean a lot to us!" This made Harry feel bad. His friend was waiting for him, while he was sitting here, wallowing in self-pity. He shook the memories off and said: "Well then, I guess I'll come along."
When the two boys came to the wagon where the Gryffindors were celebrating,
Ron came up to them. He looked at Harry and said, grinning: " Hey, dipstick! Have you finally managed to jump over your shadow and out of your cave?" This made Harry smile, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. " Yes, Ron, I'm done with my wallowing…I just needed a moment…"
Now it was Ron's turn to be serious: "Oh, I understand…this year wasn't easy, for any of us. But now it's over!"
"Yes, it's over…" Harry's voice trailed off. Suddenly he realized that he didn't want school to be over. Hogwarts had been his home for the last seven years…all his friends were there…it was the only true family he had. "Ron, do you know the feeling, when you know that you're missing something, but you don't know what it is…" Harry asked pensively. Ron smiled at him: "Of course I know the feeling, I think everybody does. But now it's gone, I found what I was missing…Hermione. You will find that one person for you sometime, too."
A little while later, Harry was standing by Sean and Neville, talking about their first day at Hogwarts, when suddenly someone bumped into him. " Bloody Merlin! Watch where…" Harry had started to yell at the person, but then his brain registered that it was Ginny Weasley, one of his closest friends." Oh, Ginny, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was you!" She just smiled at him and said: "That's fine, really, how were you supposed to know it was me when I was behind you!"
Harry didn't reply. He was too caught up in looking at her. ' You will find that one person…' Ron's words flashed through his mind. Could it be? All those years, and he had never realized it? " Ginny, you don't have to apologize…never…"
When Harry heard himself talk, he almost laughed out loud. He sounded like a lovesick fool. The great, heroic Harry Potter stammering and blushing like the most ordinary boy. Where had all his courage gone? Then, he made a choice.
He would tell her, explain everything, right now.
"Ginny, can we go somewhere more quiet please? I have to talk to you." Harry's heart was racing. If she would reject him now, his world would shatter…now, that he finally realized it she meant everything to him. " Of course, but Harry, what's the matter? Is something wrong?" Ginny put her hand on Harry's arm, in a gesture of worry. " No, no, everything is perfect, yes, absolutely perfect!" For the first time in a while Harry really smiled. They had gone to the compartment where Harry had sat earlier, thinking that what was about to happen now would never happen to him. It was almost symbolic.
They sat down, across from each other, and Harry looked Ginny deep in the eyes. " What I have to tell you is very hard to out into words…you mind be scared, but please hear me out." Ginny nodded; there was no need for words. "
Today, when we left the school, I felt incredibly alone. I stayed in the compartment when Hermione, Ron and Neville left to celebrate, because I had to think about some things. This last year was very hard, for everybody, but especially after we defied Voldemort, I felt more and more alone. Everybody loved me; I could have gotten a hundred dates. But I didn't want any…I just wanted to be normal. Then, when I talked to Ron today, he made me realize something…I didn't need to change anything, just to be myself…and promptly you bumped into me. That moment, when I realized it was you…it was like fate."
Ginny, after knowing you for six years, today I realized that you are my soul mate…I know it is a little late…but I hope you feel something for me, too."
Harry's voice had gotten softer and softer until the last words were only a whisper. When he was finished, he stared at the floor, unable to look at Ginny.
Then she answered: " Oh, Harry…I never knew you felt so alone…I'm so sorry that I didn't notice…and of course I feel for you! From the very first day I saw you I knew that we were meant to be…I was just too scared of being rejected! And it's never too late for true love!" She had tears in her eyes, and Harry reached out to wipe them away. Then their faces came closer and closer…until they kissed.
Ron and Hermione had been on the way back to their compartment, but when they saw Harry and Ginny, they stopped. "Finally those two found each other…" Hermione said, smiling.
Ron just nodded. Somehow he had always known. He gave Hermione a kiss. " Everything is good now…"
The End
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