For Duty. It was for duty and responsibility Ginny Weasley told herself, that she agreed to assist Dean in his portrait of Harry. If she heard the strains of Pinafore playing in her head when she agreed, no else had to know. After many meetings at the Louvre and after speaking with Harry, Dean finally decided to accept and be the first painter ever, to paint a portrait of The Boy Who Lived.
Harry stipulated that the painting be non-magical and that the profits from the tickets at the unveiling go to the Grimmauld Place Orphanage or a Hogwarts endowment fund. He left the remaining details to Dean.
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Ginny remembered the moment her heart cleaved clean in two.
She was pretty certain it had not entirely recovered.
Moved on, mended, and stitched back up perhaps, but pretty certain her heart still bore the scar.
Ginny’s heart broke the night Dumbledore died when she had had to rustle a broken Harry from the dead man’s side. She’s sure Harry doesn’t remember much of her in those moments. He only responded to her hand in his, tugging him up and leading him away. She doesn’t think he registered that she tentatively held his face, brushed his forelock, and half hugged him from behind as she brushed off Hagrid’s weighty hand. He hadn’t even looked at her until she started tugging him up off his knees.
The lost, broken, hopeless, and sad look he had unconsciously stared up at her with was to date: the saddest most heart-wrenching thing she had ever seen. And with a sharp cracking fissure, her heart split clean in two.
It was a blessing really, that her response to tragedy was calm numbness and a slow-motion sense of reality. It had been very useful in this life. Ginny felt that no one could have looked at that broken Harry in the face and not had their heart broken. She also knew then, intangibly, that this was the end of her Harry, the briefly seen but tenderly sweet, happy, and jovial young man who emerged when he was with her, who could actually put aside his burdens for a brief moment. She had not thought she could feel such pain, such deep indescribable sorrow for a boy, a boyfriend, until that moment.
Years later, when she was dating Ryan, she sympathized when his old family pet had passed away. She hugged, comforted, and been not at all false in her empathy. She knew the pain of losing a dear companion. But Ryan’s distraught sadness had not pierced her as much as Harry’s ever had. In fact, she had secretly been happy that her feelings for Ryan did not consume her so much that when he hurt, she hurt too.
That level of sheer feeling and the pain it could cause actually scared her, and she was relieved her relationship with Ryan was not so terrifyingly consuming. She couldn’t see how one could feel that much, feel so much for a man and not lose oneself in it. Wasn't that all what she was trying to break herself away from anyway?
She tentatively shared some of this with Fleur and Hermione one night over cocoa. (This was after Ryan but well before she realized and embraced that she was completely, entirely, and consumingly in love with Harry.) They had, not been afraid like her and most surprising, disagreed with her heartily.
Hermione said that feeling so much, even if it caused pain only affirmed the depth of her love. She described how broken she felt when Ron left her during their Horacrux hunt. She even went so far as to admit that there were moments when she wondered if she were staying alive and rational because Harry needed her then. The smart, independent witch had even gone on to say that she couldn't imagine her existence without Ron and the affect he had on shaping her life!
When Ginny asked her, confused, why it didn’t make her afraid or sad that Ron had so much power over her, Hermione shook her head and surprisingly had floundered for a definitive answer. She instead tried to explain that she knew she also had that much power over Ron. Fleur went on to add that Ginny was focusing only on the negative, and chivied her for not realizing that such power in love resulted in an infinite amount of good too! Fleur urged her to imagine the depth of happiness, contentedness, and sheer good feeling that could also be caused by such power.
“Have you not thought, Ginevra, of the beautiful happiness your mother feels when your father is happy, the way they both also laugh when their children are laughing? How at peace and happy they feel when they see your success and happiness?” Fleur had asked.
“You can lose yourself to someone Ginny, but I am thinking, it is not always a bad thing. Right now, I cannot imagine myself, or my happiness without it being tied in some way to my child. I cannot imagine being happy if my child is in real despair. Mothers love is also possessive and intoxicating, Non? But very few say it is a bad thing,”
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Once, in the weeks after she and Ryan had broken up, Ginny confessed to her mother that she knew she hadn't she felt enough for Ryan anyway. She even confessed that she had been glad of it. She hinted, mildly, at her dislike for women who lost their sense of self when in a relationship. Her mother glanced at her a little exasperated and took her time, looking at the stove contemplatively and continuing on with her cooking before responding.
“You are fiercely independent Ginny and so you fear that, being so in love. Feeling so much for a significant other. You think of it as losing that much of yourself, losing power. That being so emotionally tied to someone would cripple you,” her mother finally answered. Before Ginny could interject, as she felt this response was leading down a rather accusatory path, her mother continued, “You're not wrong, it could, if you are in a damaging relationship. But I think you’re mixing it up. You can love someone that much and still live your life independently. You can be that tied to someone and still be your own person. You love your parents and that doesn’t stop you from being independent!”
“But that’s different!” Ginny argued, she was still mulling what her mother said but it was a lot to process immediately, “It’s not the same as romantic love, and besides, I still do or don’t do some things because I know how it would affect you!”
Her mother raised her eyebrows in a wry disbelieving expression, “Really?”
“Of course!…I mean I wouldn’t ever go pose for a nudie magazine or even the lingerie issue of Witch Weekly because I know it would really offend you and Dad. Even though, if left to my own devices... I don’t really feel the same way as you do about nudity or my body... Its not like I haven’t had offers…” Ginny responded.
“So we’re restricting your independence by not letting you pose naked in some magazine? To be fair my dear, we’re not doing anything. You’re of age and have your own money. If you decided to, there is very little we could do,” her mother responded grimacing and looking as if she were biting back her instinctive reaction of horror and a good telling-off.
Ginny was admittedly, rather shocked as this acknowledgement as her mum still told Bill what to do and generally went about life assuming absolute almost divine authority when it came to her children. Ginny was secretly certain Harry was the only person who had point-blank refused a direct order from her mum and lived to tell the tale. Or at least, remain in her good graces with absolutely no lingering resentment.
“Yea, but I won’t and you know I won’t because it would hurt you!” Ginny said
“Yes, but its still your decision, your choice and you're choosing an option guided by love and respect for us,” her mother responded cooly. “All power comes with responsibility Ginny, even power borne by love. Dumbledore wasn't stupid for saying love was the greater power of all. By your own example your love and respect for us tied your hands without lifting a single hand or wand! My mother used to say that it is the greatest and most dangerous power of all! So it would of course, have the most responsibility don't you think?”
Ginny huffed and went back to chopping the carrots.
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By the time Ginny actually got around to brainstorming with Dean, Ginny knew that whatever duty and responsibility she felt to guide this painting was borne out of her love for Harry. She was comfortable in her love for Harry and no longer felt the angst and pressures of this boundless feeling for him.
Harry of course, refused to sit for the portrait. He didn’t really care about his legacy and told Dean he trusted him to "not make me look like a tosser". So Ginny felt incumbent that the first and likely long-living piece of art in Harry's image be up to par and considered with care. Dean was a great painter and he and Harry were friends but, this was important. Who else could guide a painter to see and capture all of Harry’s depth, boldness, and heart on canvas? After all, it was only to her that Harry revealed his every shade and Ginny felt it a divine sort of duty to oversee this endeavor.
Meetings with Dean were difficult. Dean already decided he wanted Harry’s portrait to be far more organic and abstract, nothing like the one he had painted of Hermione and far from a typical hero portrait as well.
A year ago Dean had painted a demure but sharp-eyed Hermione for The Society of Circee. In the portrait Hermione, clad in a soft, periwinkle, peplos had been depicted as Athena. The ¾ view portrait had Hermione seated next to an old fashioned desk, her face looking inquisitive with a softened version of her trademark 'thinking look' out at the audience. She was seated in some imagined garden of the past, bathed in a soft golden light. Symbolic flowers and fruit curling around romantic Greco-Roman ruins populated the background.
Her unruly curls were arranged in a manner befitting a romantic-era painting. The curls were adorned with ribbons bearing the Gryffindor Lion and the tendrils curled around her face and neck softening her striking sharp features. On the desk, the Portrait-Hermione’s hand held an open book. A tiny gold ‘paperweight’ in the shape of the blind lady justice holding scales adorned the desk. Hermione’s other hand, arm slack, was slightly extended at her side as she held hands with a House- Elf dressed in a small dapper suit and...knitted socks. A large greek style urn lay artistically by her feet on the other side, not at all looking out of place with the romantic ruins of the landscape. The various adventures of the trio were illustrated in true greek style in black and yellow on the registers of the urn. The portrait was received incredibly well and Hermione had been flattered by the comparative imagery and attention to details. Ginny enjoyed looking at the portrait and finding all the hidden and double meanings in the symbols and small details. Hermione’s passions, personality, and history was very well flushed out through them.
Ginny easily agreed with Dean that Harry would absolutely hate any portrait that personified him as a greek god or likened him to some ancient hero. But soon became frustrated that any ‘casual’ vision Dean laid out lacked the depth of heart that really made Harry a hero. Ginny’s mind sparked when Dean explained how Ron waxing poetic about Hermione's rational brain had inspired Dean’s artistic vision for her portrait.
After a day of careful deliberation, she painstakingly pulled out an early but distinct memory from her mind. She made a copy and then chopped out the exact piece and moment she wanted to share with Dean. She then pulled out two more memories, bottled them up and sent them to Dean. She enclosed a heartfelt letter describing what it felt like, emotionally, to be rescued by Harry Potter. The letter also contained a few scattered lines of what could potentially be called poetry about a fiercely principled man who was in many ways, the hero of the mundane. Ginny found that she could best convey the deepest meanings of her heart to others (who weren't Harry), through words. Only Harry, got her spoken words, her rushed confessions, and half formed musings in whispers when she lay in his arms in their bed.
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Portrait of a Boy-Hero caused a gasp of reverent silence at its unveiling. The larger than life portrait was oddly humble and heartbreaking despite its size and the rich oils it was painted with.
Minerva McGonagall was reported to have been seeing dabbing at her eyes with a tartan edged handkerchief.
Molly Weasley openly sobbed all the while smiling into her husband’s chest.
Fleur Delacour-Weasley had sighed deeply and released a rarely experienced ugly chuckle and rueful look, at odds with her natural sleek beauty.
The art-critics lauded Dean for once again, painting an imaginative and creative backdrop. The canvas was technically shrouded in shadow. The four corners of the canvas looked like they were edged in Dementor robes. From these edges, the swirls of darkness crept out threatening to encroach the entire portrait. The centrally located larger than life figure of Harry emanated a large sphere of light. The Patronus like light that illuminated his presence and gave the effect of keeping the swirling darkness at bay. Behind Harry, rendered in deliberately hazy detail was a many- pillared hall. A brilliant scarlet and gold phoenix took flight beyond Harry’s right shoulder and beyond on his left, a serpentined dark shape.
One reviewer commented that the snake-like shadow was an apt artistic metaphor for the evil that was Voldemort.
Harry stood in the center of the canvas, the brilliant ruby encrusted Sword of Gryffindor and his wand hanging limply from each hand. He was dressed in his school robes that were dirty, torn, and wet, one of the sleeves entirely ripped off. But it was the expression on his face and the impressive depth painted into his emerald green eyes that captured the viewer.
The curator of the Louvre positively swore that it felt like the portrait was asking her "if she was okay" whenever she walked by. She also confessed years later to Molly Weasley, that she had an overwhelming urge to feed Harry Potter whenever she stared too long at it.
Harry, unsurprisingly, did not attend the unveiling. It had been a year since, but Ginny knew he had not seen the portrait yet. She would know the moment he did. She would be very surprised if he did not come to see her immediately after. After all, there were only two people in the world that would have known the small details of the scene painted.
When Ginny had written to Dean describing in exacting detail what it felt like to be rescued by Harry; she had coupled it with a tiny piece of the memory of what it felt like to open one's eyes from almost certain death to find Harry Potter looking down at you.
The anxious, hopeful, determined, sacrificing, brave, and somewhat triumphant expression was what she emphasized to Dean. “You have to get his eyes just right!” she warned. She added to this main memory, the memory of Harry Potter at Dumbledore’s funeral breaking up with her, wearing a softly resigned but yet again determined expression. Telling her he had to do his duty and defeat Voldemort and also confessing, though she didn’t know it at the time, that he loved her. She manipulated the memory so that it was simply images. The conversation was private and she wanted Dean to concentrate on Harry’s face. Her third memory to give Dean was right after the Falmouth Attacks, of Harry sitting in the Burrow kitchen with Teddy on his lap confidently giving out orders and discussing politics with her family. Cradling a child with tenderness, all the while giving commanding and serious orders. Ginny said that if Dean could capture the face of Harry in all these moments, he would be painting the truest version of Harry the Hero.
Inspired, Dean too pulled his own memories of Harry. Harry holding Dobby as he died, Harry teaching the DA, and Harry defiantly mouthing off to Umbridge. For almost six months Dean did nothing but paint these faces of Harry. Dean’s apartment took on a rather creepy aesthetic as portraits of Harry’s face at its most expressive and oversized studies of his eyes had come to cover many of the walls.
Portrait of a Boy Hero was the sum total of all the faces of Harry. The tension, the burden, the tenderness, the determination, the fear, the exhaustion, the defiance, the bravery, and the sheer presence of the man who was the most ordinarily spectacular of heroes.
For the actual scene, Dean chose (unknowing of the details) Ginny’s memory of Harry as she awoke in the Chamber. He had taken some artistic license as the Portrait Harry was aged up, a little more commandingly confident, a little less starved-skinny, and more grimly determined. But the emotion, inquiring kindness, sacrificing bravery, and depth in his eyes was exactly as Ginny remembered.
Incidentally, the shadowy details of the chamber behind Harry that Dean added, peppered with tiny artistic details, only served to enhance the portrait. Harry's distressed clothing also had symbolic representations of Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore tucked away for the discerning eye.
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Ginny refused to be acknowledged in anyway as helping with the portrait.
Dean Thomas was often quoted as saying that Portrait of a Boy Hero could not have come to be without the grace of love.
He never expanded on that comment when pressed.