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The Missing 19 Years
By faithless2903

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Category: Post-Hogwarts
Characters:None
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Mild Language
Rating: G
Reviews: 7
Summary: Picking up from Dumbledore's office in Deathly Hallows. How will the Battle have changed everyone and how will Harry move on with life after Voldemort? Following Harry and Ginny for the nineteen years leading up to the epilogue. Rated R just incase. I will warn if anything is mature at the beginning of a chapter. This is my first ever fanfiction so please be nice! Follows canon.
Hitcount: Story Total: 2476



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
So this is my first fanfiction, EVER and I'm completely inexperienced so please don't be too mean! All contrstuctive criticism is very much welcome. I have written quite a lot of this story already so I am confident i can update very regularly and I intend to cover the whole 19 years up until the epilogue. I have a lot of different ideas for how I want this to go and have started writing most of them, everything will follow canon apart from maybe one or two small things that i will mention later. This chapter wasn't my best it was a lot of thinking and hardly any dialogue i know. I also like a lot of comedy in stories and this chapter is obviously lacking massively in that department. I really hope you like this story because I feel like I'm exposing my baby, very apprehensively and completely unsure how it will be recieved. Thank you for reading and please, please, please take the time to review and tell me what you liked and what I can improve on it really would be so greatly appreciated.




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Harry looked around at Ron and Hermione wanting to say something more but not knowing what. He settled for a weak smile before leaving Dumbledore's office. He stopped outside the door and sighed heavily, what was he supposed to do now? He quickly decided that he couldn't face going down to the Great Hall again even if it did mean being with Ginny. His grief and guilt ate away at his insides and he wasn't sure if he could bear to look at Fred, Lupin or Tonks' bodies again. He made his way up to the Gryffindor boy's dormitories and found his old room, which now bore the legend 'Seventh Years' on the door and sank down on the familiar four-poster bed. It always had been fantastically comfy and after sleeping in rickety bunk beds for months it felt even more so. He rolled on to his side and, trying desperately hard to clear his mind, attempted sleep.

Only minutes later the door creaked open and swiftly sitting up Harry reached for his wand instinctively before shouting out, 'Who's there?'

The answering voice was calm and familiar, 'Easy! It's only me'.

Harry relaxed and put his wand back on the bedside table before rubbing his eyes and putting his glasses on. Ginny sat down on the end of Harry's bed and looked at him sadly. Harry noticed her eyes were red and puffy, her long hair matted with a mixture of dirt, sweat and blood and she had several cuts scattered over her body, even with all this though he was still amazed by her beauty and he realised just how much he had missed her.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, both of them having so much to say and no idea how or where to start. After a few minutes of the intense silence Harry couldn't take it any longer and blurted out, 'I'm so sorry Ginny, I never meant for this to happen. For Fred or, or…' He stopped talking immediately at the look in her eyes when he mentioned Fred's name.

Ginny moved closer to him and hugged him tightly. 'Don't be stupid Harry, we know! None of us would ever, ever hold you responsible for any of this. Quite the opposite actually seeing as you've just saved all of our lives!'

He didn't say anything back for a while, just enjoyed her smell and feel. 'I'm sorry for ending it last year but you understand why I had to now don't you? I couldn't face losing you Ginny. I just wanted to keep you safe.' He looked into her eyes with an apologetic look and to his surprise and without any warning whatsoever; she broke down in front of him. He had never seen Ginny cry like this before and he already knew he hated it. Wanting to do something to comfort her he tried to speak but he couldn't find the words so settled for awkwardly pulling her into his arms where she sobbed unashamedly into his chest.

'I hate you Harry! You and your flipping n-n-nobility streak! I've spent so much time s-sat alone worrying and bloody crying about you. You know how much I h-hate crying!' At her comment Harry was reminded of why he loved Ginny. Even in her moment of weakness and sorrow she could make a joke about herself. 'Never hearing anything more than rumours from whispered conversations in corridors. You have no idea how that feels! No idea how much I wished I could move on. No idea how much I wished that I could feel like this about somebody else, anybody else but Harry flipping Potter!'

Suddenly feeling even guiltier he hurriedly and somewhat defensively replied, 'You can't possibly have missed me as much as I've missed you. Every night I watched you on the map, for hours at a time, hoping you could know I was thinking about you. Wishing there was some way I could speak to you or even just to let you know I was safe and to know you were safe.' She looked back up at him and into his exquisite emerald eyes. She noticed the sincerity in them and relaxed back into his arms.

'When I thought earlier…' she swallowed and forced herself to continue, 'when I thought you were d-dead I just couldn't face thinking about my life without you. Seeing you like that…you can't imagine how horrible that was Harry and I swear if you ever do it to me again I may actually have to kill you myself.'

He laughed coldly at her feeble attempt at humour, 'I'm sorry Ginny, I really am but I had to do that. I can imagine how you felt because I wanted nothing more than to be able to shout back at everyone, to let them know I was fine and I wanted to comfort no one more than I did you. Then you were duelling Bellatrix and that curse came so close I-well…' He shook his head and looked down, avoiding her gaze.

She smiled and said, 'I'm sorry but I didn't even care that I died I wanted to be with you Harry. I couldn't face living without you. When I thought you were dead it made me think of all the things I was never going to get to say to you and it killed me because, well you're the only one I think I've ever, well…l-loved.' She immediately felt him tense up and noticed he stopped breathing for a few seconds. She waited anxiously for a reply until eventually one came, 'I'm sorry Ginny.'

Her heart sank, she felt as though she had been shot and suddenly she both longed to be as far away from Harry as possible and to stay wrapped up in his arms forever. She stopped for a moment to consider her options but decided, in a rare moment of maturity and calm, to let it go for now.

'Promise me you'll never leave me like that again.' She said sternly.

'I promise.' Harry whispered, stroking her head lovingly.

They lay together all day, only sleeping. And when their slumber was riddled with nightmares of the battle they cuddled ever closer savouring the feel of one another. They both slept more soundly than they had in months and Harry thought to himself that sleeping with Ginny was definitely something he could get used to.

At 4'o'clock Harry and Ginny still slept silently in each other's arms when once again the door in the dormitory was carefully and quietly opened, and once again Harry, still over alert from the horrors of the battle, jumped up with his wand in hand. Ron held his hands high in the air and Harry lowered his wand mumbling apologies. From behind Ron, Hermione and the entire Weasley family minus Fred followed. They all looked a bit worse for wear but it was obvious most of them had managed to get some sleep. Some of them had even had showers and been bandaged up. Harry sat back down on the bed next to a now awake Ginny and became very interested in his hands aware that all eyes were on him. He wondered why no one was talking at him and then quickly realised what his situation must look like. He and Ginny hadn't been seen for hours and had now been found lying in bed with one another, of course nothing had happened but they didn't know that. Harry now looked up at Ron who had a look of mixed anger and awkwardness on his face which was mirrored by every one of his brothers and Harry felt his face grow hot. 'Nothing happened you know this, um...' he felt even more embarrassed and trailing off pointed to himself and a furiously blushing Ginny shaking his head.

It was Mrs Weasley that spoke, 'Of course not my dear. We were all simply worried about you that is all. It doesn't do to hide away from everyone and mope. I'm glad you and Ginny had each other.' Harry gave a small nod.

Mrs Weasley made her way over to the bed and sat down next to Harry. 'We are all going back to the Burrow in a couple of hours; I do hope you'll come back with us? Of course you know you're welcome to stay as long as you need but even if you have other plans, will you at least come for dinner? She spoke slightly nervously. It was obvious to all in the room that she wanted to insist Harry came back with them forever so she could make sure he was kept at a weight and mental state she approved of, but she knew she couldn't do that. After all however much she felt like he was, he wasn't really her son.

Harry grinned at her, 'I would love to stay with you all for a while as long as that's okay with every one? Like you say I don't think it's good for me to be alone.' She smiled right back at him before pulling him into a rib-cracking hug that could rival one of Hagrid's.

Everyone sat in the dormitory for some time chatting and laughing more freely than they had done in ages. The atmosphere was so welcoming and happy, Harry was excited to be going back to the Burrow and spending time with the people he loved most and for a while all his grief and anxiety had gone. Now there would be no underlying worry or fear. They would be together as family and friends spending precious time together whilst rebuilding their lives.

After some time spent relaxing with everyone Harry soon left the dormitory to shower and get dressed into blood and dirt free clothes. He made his way down to the Great Hall again and let Madam Pomfrey fuss over him, bandaging him up and healing his more severe wounds. She remarked that Harry had gained his best set of battle scars yet, Harry groaned the last thing he needed was more scars. He loathed the unwanted souvenirs of his various encounters with dark magic or dangerous creatures that were scattered across his body.

The rest of his time in the Great Hall hordes of people surrounded him both congratulating and thanking him, he smiled politely and make small talk with his admirers but the guilt he was feeling multiplied with every weepy thank you. He felt dreadful at the losses everyone had sustained. He had never wanted this. It was only ever him that Voldemort wanted and he couldn't help thinking of several better, cleaner ways he could have done the whole thing. He knew already that his whole life; he would never stop feeling that he should be the one thanking them.

Eventually the time came to go back to the Burrow. Harry thought this was one of those rare occasions that he would be more than happy to leave Hogwarts. Mrs Weasley stood and checked everyone was there with them. Harry noticed her moving her lips as she soundlessly said everyone's name before looking around to make sure they were there. She stopped suddenly half-way through her recital and silent tears poured down her face, Harry thought he knew why. Fred wasn't with them now, he never would be again. They had arranged to get Fred's body bought home for his funeral and he was to be buried at the Burrow but for now the healers from St. Mungos had taken him. Mr Weasley wiped his wife's face and smiling at her whispered in her ear. Mrs Weasley nodded and bravely smiling again continued on her last minute person check. 'Yep all here good to go now Harold' she finally declared. They all placed a finger on the glowing goblet and soon all collapsed in a heap in the living room.

The evening passed quickly and after an extremely large and delicious meal Harry retreated back up to Ron's room to finish unpacking. Ginny sat with everyone in the living room in her favourite comfy armchair and sought out the person she felt she needed to speak to most. She saw Hermione lingering by the door with Ron and Charlie half listening to their conversation but otherwise looking quite distant. Ginny took the opportunity and asked Hermione to talk, looking both concerned and intrigued Hermione agreed and followed Ginny outside and sat on the grass next to her.

'What is it?' Hermione asked.

'Well, umm…it's just…you see, after the battle I told… well I told Harry that I loved him. I know it was soon but after all the sadness and worry of the past year and thinking he was dead I just thought it was the right time but he just said to me that he was sorry. I mean I thought he felt the same way Hermione and now I don't know and well you understand him better than anyone so, you know… what's the hell's going on?'

Hermione sighed and looked back at her best friend who looked as though she was on the verge of tears and explained, 'Ginny, think about Harry's life.'

Hermione waited for a moment but seeing the confusion spread across Ginny's face she promptly continued, 'Harry has never told anyone that he loves them. Apart from maybe his parents but he can't even remember them! Can you imagine how scary that feels to him?'

Ginny snapped back far more harshly than she intended, 'It was scary for me too you know! I've never told anybody that I love them either. Well at least not in the way that I love Harry.'

Hermione calmly went on, 'Yes but to you the phrase "I love you" is much easier to say. All those times you absent-mindedly said it to your parents and brothers well Harry hasn't even had that! Also Harry is very emotionally scarred Ginny.' Ginny looked annoyed and tried to interrupt but Hermione held up her hand before she had the chance, 'I know that you know that and I know that you love him and can deal with it, but you really do have to remember it. He has lost so much more than you or I can fathom and he's still terrified of losing people and I'm pretty certain it will be some time before he will accept that you aren't going to leave him. If he tells you he loves you he's putting himself out there and in his mind putting you out there. By saying he loves you he makes it official. The same way he will sub-consciously think you're going to leave him he will also always think that he is still a target. To a certain extent he's very right. I mean we'd be crazy to think that the escaped Death Eaters will accept Voldemort's dead, stop practising his methods and hand themselves into Azkaban without a fight. He still thinks that someone will target you to try and get to him and he wants to keep you safe. However if you take the time to analyse all of these points you would realise that Harry is completely and utterly in love with you Ginny.'

Ginny tried to take all this in. She still didn't fully understand but Hermione was so certain and she had learnt over the years to always trust Hermione's judgement. So she put it out of her head before thanking Hermione and joining the rest of her family inside again. As they made their way across the back garden Ginny nudged her friend with her hip and grinned mischievously at her, 'You and my brother then hey? Who would have thought! I mean seriously it is such a surprise to all of us, we had no idea that you two were a thing.' Ginny said all this in a serious tone that might just have fooled Hermione if she hadn't known her so well. Seeing the expression on her friends face Ginny burst out laughing and Hermione playfully swatted her on the arm before following her inside, wondering how long it would be before the teasing would stop. Upon reflection Hermione decided that it was very unlikely that the Weasley's would ever stop teasing them and smiling to herself she realised that she didn't really want it to.
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