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Wand Fiction By Saint Paul
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Category: Mary Sue Challenge (2009-3)
Characters:All
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 14
Summary: During the welcoming feast, Hogwarts welcomes an unusual student... and some other stuff happens
Hitcount: Story Total: 4285
Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.
Author's Notes: Yeah, this was kinda rushed, especially at the end... but it's the first time I've done a challenge fic.
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Wand Fiction
Harry sat alone in his compartment of the Hogwarts Express, listening to the sound of the wind rushing by outside the window. He was alone for the moment. Ron and Hermione were attending the Prefect meeting, and Ginny was… well, to be honest he wasn’t exactly sure where Virginia was.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the compartment door sliding open, and Ron entering, looking very tired.
“Hey mate.” He yawned. “Hermione’s back clearing a few things up with the younger prefects about the scheduling. She should be along in a moment.”
“Isn’t that a job for the Head boy and girl?” Harry asked.
“Haven’t got one this year,” Ron muttered, rolling his eyes. “Or if we have, they’re awful good at hiding.”
“Speaking of hiding, any idea where your sister is?” Harry asked, try to keep his tone casual… and failing, if the smirk on Ron’s face was anything to go by.
“Ginevra? Why would you be possibly wondering where she’s got to?”
“Shut it, Ron,” Harry growled, shoving his friend in the shoulder. The pair of them fell into a companionable silence, before Ron spoke.
“Oh, I’ve just remembered something.”
“Red letter day!” Harry interjected.
“No, you git. Something they brought up at the prefect meeting. There’s going to be a foreign exchange student at school this year.”
“What? Geez, another one?” Harry groaned. “Where’s he from?”
“America.”
“Of course. Why are they never from somewhere interesting… like Bolivia.”
There was another moment of silence, which was again broken by Ron. “You know, I went to America once.”
“Did you really?” Harry seemed genuinely interested. After all, he’d never left the country before.
“Yeah. Went to visit some cousins of mine. Anyway, it’s an odd place, but it’s the little things that seem weirdest. Like driving on the right side of the road, things like that. In fact, did you know they have a Philosopher’s Stone over there?”
“Really? There‘s another one?”
“Yeah,” Ron continued. “Only they call it a ‘Sorcerers’ Stone.’”
“A Sorcerers’ Stone? What, they don’t have Philosophy in America?” Harry asked with a laugh.
“Apparently they decided it wasn’t an exciting name. So they changed it.”
“Can they do that?”
“I guess so,” Ron said with a shrug.
“Well what do they call the Goblet of Fire?”
“Goblet of Fire, I guess. That didn’t really come up in conversation, Harry.”
“Oh. Right. Well what do they call Azkaban?”
“They don’t have one.”
Further conversation was cut off when Hermione and Ginnie appeared at the door of the compartment.
“Hi Hermione! Hi Gingin!” The bushy haired brunette and the redhead entered and sat and flopped (respectively) onto the bench across from where Ron and Harry were seated.
“Harry!” Ginnifer gasped. “Where are your glasses?”
“Oh, that’s right I forgot to tell you. The Dursleys sprung for lasik eye surgery after I saved Dudley’s life. Of course… that didn’t stop Uncle Vernon from doing it on the cheap. The doctor botched the job, which resulted in my retina’s being burned out and needing to have my eyeballs magically reconstructed anyway. Hence, why my eyes are blue now.”
“So they are!” Hermione nodded. “Well, at least you don’t have to wear glasses anymore.”
“Yes, that[ made the excruciating pain of having my eyes seared out, then remade, completely worth it.”
The rest of the trip passed uneventfully enough and before any of them knew it, they had arrived at the gates of Hogwarts Castle. Within moments, they were seated at the Great Hall and waiting for the feast to begin.
Dumbledore got up and said a few words. Literally. Then he gestured to the back of the Hall where the large doors were creaking open. “As some of you may know, Hogwarts will be playing host to an exchange student from the Untied States, please extend a warm welcome to Silenia Unicorn Evenstar Moonbeam Bananarama Dingdong… the Third.”
The doors to the great hall opened to the sound of herald trumpets, and a flock of doves burst through them, trailing a cloud of glitter and streamers behind them. As soon as the glitter cleared away, she was visible. All eyes immediately focused on her as she entered, the boys fell in love with her, and the girls wanted to be like her.
Her hair was midnight black with a single flame colored streak above her left eye, waist length and luxuriously curled, and thick enough to serve as a blanket in a pinch. Her eyes were sea foam green with blue and gold flecks scattered around her pupils, which everyone in the Hall could see- even those in the back. She was so beautiful, the entire school was sure she was at least two-thirds Veela.
Her skin was golden tan and blemish free, and her smile was brilliant white and flawless. There was a rope lead in her hand that was attached to a pearl white unicorn… with wings.
“Miss Third, I’m afraid that your friend will have to wait in the stables that we’ve built for his use just this past summer,” said Dumbledore, his eyes sparkling merrily.
The girl giggled, blushing prettily. “Of course Professor.” She turned to her equine companion. “Sunspot, go wait for me in the stable, I’ll come visit you later.” The Pegasus with a horn nodded his head, reared onto two legs and with a flap of his wings and a swirl of feathers, vanished.
“Wow… she’s beautiful…” Ron muttered, causing Hermione to glare at him, and then her.
“Her eyes are too close together,” she muttered darkly.
“Now then, Miss Third, if you’d please come up here.” Professor McGonagall spoke, gesturing to stool with the sorting hat placed on it.
With a smile that lit up the room, Silenia marched up to the stool and sat upon it, crossing her long legs primly. McGonagall placed the hat on her head.
“Ahh… Interesting,” the hat wheezed. “A difficult student to place. You, my dear, are as smart as any Ravenclaw, just as loyal as any Hufflepuff, and braver than many Gryffindors. So, with that in mind… we will place you in Slytherin.”
There was an audible gasp from everyone in the Hall.
“Aha ha ha!” the hat laughed. “Just kidding, put her in Gryffindor. Ha! Slytherin! Sometimes I slay myself.”
“Well,” said Dumbledore, standing to address the school again, as the hat was removed from the Hall. “Now that that is out of the way, let us enjoy the feast.”
“What about the sorting?” Harry wondered.
“We just did it,” Ron muttered, a glazed look settling on his face as Silenia sat down beside him.
“No, of the first years!”
“Who?” Ron muttered vaguely as he looked at the beautiful American girl.
“Forget it.” With a sigh Harry began to spoon food onto his plate. “Geneva, pass the salt, please.” After a few moments he looked up to see Silenia Third staring at him intently, although he couldn’t figure out why.
The rest of the evening passed smoothly and the students were about to adjourn to their dormitories when the Headmaster approached the podium again. “There is one more announcement I wish to make, the professors and I have decided that this year, we will be having a Halloween dance!” There was an excited murmur among the students.
“Another dance?” Harry moaned, burying his face in his hands. “Every time they do this, I end up feeling like a hunted antelope.” Gwen patted him on the back, her brown eyes alight with amusement.
“You know Harry… We could just go together, that’ll keep the jackals away.”
Harry’s head shot up, nearly knocking Guinan onto the floor. “Guyfawkes! That’s a brilliant idea.”
Hand in hand, the pair of them left the hall, heading for bed. …separate beds of course…
As they left the hall, they saw Professor McGonagall trying to flag them down. “Mr. Potter, Ms Wesley, may I see you for a moment? The Headmaster would like a word.”
“Sure, Professor.” Harry shrugged and followed Professor McGonagall as she led them towards the Headmaster’s office, hoping that this didn’t have anything to do with the “Donkey Quidditch” debacle, after all, that hadn’t been his idea… entirely.
Soon they were at the ugly gargoyle statue that led to the Headmaster’s Office. Professor McGonagall gave the password (“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”) and the statue moved to the side.
“Go on inside Mr. Potter, Ms. Weatherbee.” McGonagall pushed the two of them inside and slammed the door behind them.
Looking forward they saw Dumbledore seated at his desk, his fingers tented and a contemplative look on his face. “Come inside, there are things we must discuss.”
Stepping forward they sat in the plush armchairs in front of his desk.
“First of all, there’s a ministry letter here for you, Miss Wilson.” He broke the seal and the envelope took on a stylized face, and a voice spoke from it.
“Dear Cyril Windowshade-”
“That’s not my name,” Grenadine interrupted.
“What?”
“That’s not my name.”
“Oh.” There was a sound of a pen scratching something out, and rewriting something else, and the envelope began again.
“Ahem. Dear Bonnie Wright,” the envelope began again, then paused expectantly, when Gayle smiled and nodded it continued. “Due to your remarkably high marks on your O.W.L. tests we at the Department of Magical Games and Sports have decided to advance you ahead one year. We at the Department hope that you will prove equal to the challenge that we have placed before you. Sincerely, Ringwater Q. Lemurtail, Head of the Department of Ludicrous Naming Conventions.”
“Wow, Gezebelle, congratulations.” Harry hugged her, twice.
“I don’t understand Professor… I haven’t even taken my O.W.Ls yet.”
“Yes well, we’ve already seen the scores you would have had. It’s an involved process involving a Time-Turner, a rubber duck, and a Quidditch Donkey. Suffice it to say, the O.W.Ls you would have taken, but now won’t, were sufficient to warrant such an extreme measure as this.”
“I…see…” She was very confused by the explanation but decided not to press the issue. She knew by experience it wouldn’t do any good, and probably would do much harm.
“Now then, next order of business, I need to present these to the two of you.” He handed each of them a shiny golden badge with the Gryffindor lion and a large H on it.
“Head badges?” Harry gasped. “Sir, you realize we’re not seventh years?”
“Yes.”
“So… Shouldn’t you choose seventh years for this?”
“I don’t like them,” Dumbledore said vaguely.
“I see…” He was about to continue pressing the matter when Gigli nudged him in the ribs and whispered something in his ear that caused him to blush, and he fell silent.
“I suspect that Ms. Willow has just informed you that the Head Girl and Head boy have a separate suite of rooms to themselves,” Dumbledore observed with a smirk.
“Uh… yeah.” Harry gulped distractedly.
“Well, before I allow the two of you to get settled in to your new accommodations, there is one final piece of business we must discuss.” Almost as if on cue, there came a knock on the door.
“Enter, please.”
The door opened once more and Silenia entered, a shy smile on her face. “I’m here, Headmaster.”
“Ah yes, Ms. Third. I believe you have something to say to my guests here, correct?”
“Yes.” Silenia walked forward, glittery sparks following in her wake. “I don’t quite know how to say this, but… I’m your daughter, from the future.”
There was a moment of silence as everybody dealt with this knew information. Then, Gilligan sighed and rolled her eyes, while Harry slapped his forehead in a frustrated manner.
“What, again!?” Harry muttered, annoyed. “This is the eighth time in the last three years. I mean how many kids do we have in the future, and why can’t you all stop screwing with the past?”
Silenia pouted cutely. “Sorry, but it was my turn dad… um… I mean Harry… Harrydad.”
“Okay, well, this was fun, but unless there‘s something else… Gonzo and I should be heading to bed. …um… separately of course.”
“Wait, there’s more.” Silenia sighed and took a deep breath. “Harry… I am your father.”
“…What?”
“I’m James Potter reincarnated. You know, my past life…”
With a sigh, Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and started to leave the office. “I’m going to bed. You coming Ginger?”
“Just a moment, Pops,” Silenia said with a giggle. “There’s one last thing. Here, I have this for you.” She produced a very old looking wand from her pocket.
Gorgonzola gasped. “The Elder Wand!”
Silenia nodded sagely, “Yes. I have brought it back from the future so that you may use it against Voldemort. It already knows you as it‘s master.”
Dumbledore nodded and produced an exact copy of the Elder Wand from his robes. “I have the Wand that belongs in our time. Harry, if you master this wand as well, you will have twice the power!” Dumbledore said. “Then you have but to learn how to dual-wield wands, and Voldemort will not stand a chance.”
“What about the Horcruxes?” Harry asked.
“How do you know about those?” Dumbledore wondered. “You’re in sixth year, I was going to tell you about them this year.”
Harry shrugged. “Probably one of my thousand time-hopping offspring informed me. Okay how do I take the mastery of the Wand from you?”
“A very ancient ritual, passed down through the ages from the Time of Merlin himself. Call it in the air!” Dumbledore quickly tossed a golden Galleon spinning into the air.
“Um, HEADS!” Harry yelled.
Dumbledore caught the coin and slapped it onto the back of his other hand. After a suitable amount of time had passed for dramatic tension to be achieved, he revealed the coin, heads side up.
“Well done, Harry. This Elder Wand is now yours as well.”
Harry took the two wands and pocketed them, “Yeah, um, thanks professor. C’mon Gillyweed, let’s go check out our new bed… I means BEDS, BEDS!” Blushing furiously, Harry took Vermont’s hand and sped out of the room at top speed.
With a wizened chuckle, Dumbledore flipped the coin over, to reveal another ‘heads’ side on the other half. “Works every time.”
“Was all this really necessary, Headmaster?” Silenia asked with a raised eyebrow.
“No, not really.” Dumbledore laughed, leaning back in his chair. “But it amused me, immensely.”
The End?
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