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Moonlit Path
By NaruKoibito

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Category: Post-HBP
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Angst, General, Romance
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: G
Reviews: 8
Summary: I want to protect the world where she is safe. Those warm hands of hers…there’s nothing I want more. Not the coins in both hands, not victory. I wish…

[Sequel to "Underneath the Moonlight"]
Hitcount: Story Total: 4674



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
Naru-chan: So I promised this to you guys a while ago. I'm sorry for the delay. I couldn't quite get it right - the tone at first. I pretty much kept to what I had in mind after I wrote "Underneath the Moonlight," though, which I suggest you read before you read this. I don't think it's necessary, but it really does help. I wrote that before DH so please forgive the differences and the non-canon. This is Harry's POV. I hope you enjoy. ^^




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Moonlit Path

On a night when it seems like I can’t grasp anything,
There isn’t a moment when I don’t think about you.
There isn’t a day I don’t think about it
So that my lost heart will reach you.
-Rie Fu, Tsukiakari


We had a game, just for the two of us, that no one else knew about. It was our special tradition, our special little secret. It was unspoken that we would never play it with anyone else other than each other, just like how we never needed to speak of how much we enjoyed holding hands or our gentle kisses… Each touch felt like happiness spreading through our bodies. We didn’t need anything else.

I didn’t need anything else.

How long ago was that? It’s hard to count time here – wherever here is. I seem to be in limbo, with no strength, perhaps even no real form. All I can do is lie here, feeling nothing, doing nothing, when all I want to do is get up and run until I find her again. I wonder when I’ll be set free.

I can still vaguely remember the end. He had been there, of course, and she had been there. The words that flew from my mouth rang in the air just before I felt the last blow connect to my chest. Then there was white. Funny, I always thought that it would be black, but no, it was white…yet, not quite white. Almost blue…

Afterwards, there was nothing but my memories. Sometimes I think of my best friends and the family that had adopted me, and even the world that I had left behind, but mostly, I think of her. Since I cannot be with her right now, I go to her in my mind.

Our game occurred to me when a darker, more foreboding thought settled over me, sadly not long after our relationship began. I knew that I would have to leave her someday. My duty. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t stay here with her… There are other things out there that are waiting for me, things I’ve never wanted. It was for her sake too. If I didn’t do it, she would always live in a world full of danger, but it killed me that I can’t even be by her side and protect her – not then and not now.

I decided to introduce our game, letting her choose between a hand with a golden coin and an empty hand, to make sure that she could properly defend herself if I couldn’t be there to do it for her. She succeeded wonderfully, blocking most of my attacks. I could only pray that she was that good in a real battle – not that I ever wished that she would have to be in a real one, but I have faith in my girl. She is mine… I think she always has been.

I think that I have always been hers too.

After that first time when I had no coins in my hands, I always held two coins in each hand. I wanted to give her whatever I could while I was still by her side. Whenever she chose a hand, her face would light up so beautifully that I would give her anything in the world for her to keep that smile. I don’t think she ever suspected my foul play – not because she wasn’t intelligent enough to figure it out, because believe me, she can be as witty as Hermione sometimes. It’s just that she trusted me completely. She never believed that I would wrong her in any way. At least my noble streak was worth something. And even if she had a tiny inkling of what I was doing, the kiss afterward would always erase any stray thoughts in her mind – at least, they always did in mine.

There was one time that stood out to me though. One time we played our game (not that all the other times were not as important). I was waiting down by the Black Lake for her, jangling the four coins in my pockets, wondering where she was and what was taking her so long, when I heard the crunch of leaves behind me. I turned swiftly, expecting to see her running toward me, full of energy as always, her scarlet hair waving in the wind about her bright and smiling face. Thus, I was more than just a little bit surprised to find her walking slowly my way. She was smiling, but… The expression on her face was filled with something else aside from happiness. It was…

Before I realized it, I was running toward her, my hands running up her arms, making sure she was unharmed. My eyes scanned over her, but the only thing I could detect that was off aside from her expression was the redness that rimmed her brown eyes.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?” Panic made my voice hitch higher than usual. “Did someone try to do something to you?”

Something must have happened to her! She never cried; she was too strong for that. A stronger, more stable minded and clear-sighted person I have never met. She’s much tougher than she looks. Even now I think it has to do something with growing up with all her brothers. So for her to have been crying…something – someone must have…

She slowly looked up at me, her eyes watching me as if taking me in for the first time. And then something amazing happened. She smiled. Her lips slowly curved upwards despite the sparkling tears in her eyes. I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t move. And then she spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

Her nimble fingers rose through the air before they tenderly skimmed over my skin, my hair, and then she slowly drew me closer until her lips, damp from her tears, touched mine. Saltwater clung to her lips, but I didn’t care as I reached for her and took more than she offered. But then again, she had always offered me everything in the world. Always, even from the very beginning.

I felt an overwhelming urge to say something then. Anything to this amazing creature. I opened my mouth and the words tumbled out.

“I’m sorry.”

She watched me, as if she had expected something else. Before I could say or think of anything else, however, she was kissing me again, and I was lost in oblivion once again.

Now I wish…I wish that I…

What was it that one time? What had she said? Something…

“It’s going to rain soon.”

I turned to her. She was beside me now, her scarlet hair dancing in the wind. Her pale skin, a canvas that I yearned to paint with my kisses, glowed serenely white in the fading light. Her eyelashes that curled and protected those brown eyes of hers flickered upward, revealing what they hid. Some compare eyes to jewels. How many times, I wonder, have people said that my eyes shined like emerald gems? But her eyes I don’t compare to any diamond, any ruby, any sapphire. Her eyes are like flint. They’re no jewels, but they hold fire. They hold what’s important.

“Then we should probably…start heading back,” I heard myself say half-heartedly. I didn’t want to go back. I didn’t want to lose any time alone with her. Going back meant Hermione would separate us so that Ginny could concentrate on her revisions. Going back meant the lessons with Dumbledore would continue. I held her hand tighter in mine. It was nice…just being here.

“No,” she said suddenly, her eyes shining fiercely. “Let’s not.”

“But if we stay here any longer we will get drenched,” I argued logically, suddenly feeling foolish for wanting to run away, even if for just for a stolen second.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered, gently leaving a trail of kisses up my neck. “I’ll protect you.”

I let out a laugh, but it came out breathless. Then I gave in, holding and kissing her the way I wanted to. I knew in the back of my mind that this could be it; this could be the last kiss. Funny, but that just made me kiss her even more. I knew that I should have at least brought out the coins again, but this time I didn’t bother. I didn’t always need the coins to kiss her, and it was nice that for one moment I didn’t need to think of my plans or future.

I’m no fool. Really. I knew and still know her better than others believe. People say that our relationship is purely physical and will die out like a flame doused with water, but that was so far from the truth that it only made us laugh. They didn’t know about the late nights we snuck out of the Common room not to snog, but to find somewhere quiet to simply hold each other and speak. I know all about her plans in the future, her hopes of becoming a professional Quidditch player. I know she hates carrots, but loves broccoli and peas. I know that when she thinks, she pulls at her hair, but only from her right side. I know she rants on and on about Ron, but that he is her favorite brother.

And I knew she doesn’t want only be protected.

She wanted to protect me as much as I wanted to protect her. So I let her, in whatever ways possible, do what she must. I knew, even then, that I couldn’t let her use all of her potential (she has quite a lot of that). Selfish, I knew, but I couldn’t really allow her to protect me because I wanted her to remain a part of this normal life, untangled from my prophecy. Selfish, selfish, selfish, but I wanted to give her everything in the world. Was that so terrible of me?

“Wait,” I breathed harshly when I realized that my hands had slithered up the back of her shirt. I nearly laughed again when she doesn’t stop her onslaught on my lips. “Wait, wait.”

I pulled away from her reluctantly, my breathing coming in at intervals. I looked at her seriously, deep into her resolute brown eyes. She looked impatient and irritated, like a cat that had began to lap its milk before it was taken away. I lifted a hand and gently smoothed the stray locks of red from her pale cheek. She leaned against my hand, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I’m tired of waiting,” she said, and the truth of that statement made my throat close up.

“I know,” I said uselessly, “but…we can’t. I don’t want to now when…”

When I plan to leave you.

Instead of speaking, I took her into my arms again, burying myself in her hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“No…it’s my fault,” she sighed. Her arms wrapped around me. “I shouldn’t pressure you.”

“Do you mind?” I asked, my heart squeezing tightly. “Waiting…?”

I was no longer just asking about this, but asking if she would tire of waiting for me one day. I have no right, I have no right.

She held me tighter, so tight I almost couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t want to. “I will never stop waiting for you, Harry.”

I let out a soft, strangled cry. I couldn’t speak, but I knew that I had to do something, anything.

“Hey…” I whispered gently into her ear, “want to play a game?”

What I would give to be in her arms again. I don’t usually…touch others. She was different. I didn’t need her to kiss me. I just wanted to trace my hands over her warm and slim ankles as she giggled. I just wanted to hold her hand while I did my revisions. I just wanted her fingertips to brush the back of my neck. I just wanted her to reach up and adjust my glasses when they slipped down the bridge of my nose while she giggled. I didn’t want anyone else to touch me the way she did, and I most certainly didn’t want anyone to touch her like I did.

She was my greatest comfort.

Now, trapped in this limbo, I always think of her, rewinding my memories over and over and over, living them again just to be closer to her than I am. Sometimes I think of others, my best friends, my peers, my mentors, my parents, but it always comes back to her. And here, without her, there is only a coldness that settles within me. This feeling inside me is so constricted sometimes that I can’t breathe. Not that I know if I’m really breathing anymore or not…

People say being left behind is hard, and I will never deny it after seeing the look on her face at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. Breaking away from our kiss, our last kiss, which I won when she turned the tables on my and forced me to play my own game, I saw the tears that threatened to spill in her eyes. But she fought them off and unwound her arms from my neck.

We stood in silence, gazing at one another, burning the other into the depths of our minds. Instead of saying anything, because I knew there were no words that could change anything or ease the pain, I did the only thing I could think of. I wanted to maintain contact with her, in any small way. I took her hands in mine and entwined them together. Her fingers warmed my cold ones. I pressed my forehead against hers, praying that I was doing the right thing, that she would be safe, and please, please, please, Merlin, let me come back to her. Promising to her…promising to her that I would.

I had to leave, and she had to stay. I slowly pulled away from her, turning toward the full moon that shined down on us that night, and made my way up the hill where my best friends were waiting.

It wasn’t until we had settled down in a camp, far away, that I separated myself sullenly in a corner. I didn’t want to do anything but close my eyes and pretend that I was still holding her warm hands, but finally Hermione badgered me to at least take out my sleeping bag instead of lying on the hard, damp ground, and I grudgingly did so.

The moment I opened my sac, I froze.

If you pick the hand with the two Galleons in it, you can have it and a kiss. If you pick the wrong hand, then you have to do what I ask.

There…right there…four shining golden coins. My hands balled into fists, gripping my bag until my knuckles went white. I let out a sob. She knew. All this time…she knew. All my strategic plans, my schemes, our games, and she knew that this was my fate. She knew there were things I had to do, that I could not ignore the war. She knew, and she still remained by my side.

People say being left behind is hard, but they never mention how hard it is to do the leaving.

The last time I saw her was in the midst of the Final Battle. She did not see me, but it was such a joy simply to see her once more, her beautiful, defiant red hair waving in the air like a flag of victory. She was still safe, so alive. She makes me normal, makes me just like anyone else. She doesn’t want anything from me but plain old me.

That was why I turned, my fingers firmly gripping my wand, to face Him.

What was Good? What was Evil? Murdering others, claiming everything is power and influence? On the Light side, there were those less than worthy of being deemed “Good,” and there were those on the Dark side who I hesitate to call “Evil” anymore. I no longer know, but it didn’t matter.

I want to protect the world where she is safe. Those warm hands of hers…there’s nothing I want more. Not the coins in both hands, not victory. I wish…

When He began laughing shrilly and raised his wand to my heart, I smiled, because I knew that was where he could never hurt me. There was a flash of green, and oddly enough I could taste her lips on mine and hear her soft laughter, comforting me, even in death.

But I am not dead.

I don’t know what I am, but I know I’m not dead. I know because I can still hear her. She’s calling for me, desperately. I don’t know if she’s still waiting for me because sometimes I wonder if this is just wishful thinking, but then I hear her voice, clearly, and always stronger than the time before.

Harry.

Her cries cut through me every time I think I’m losing myself in a place where I can only grasp nothing. She reminds me of our promise, reminds me that I still have a reason to live. She reminds me of everything wonderful that we had and everything wonderful we could have.

I think it would be easier to have died. Easier to die now. Then I wouldn’t have to face the world after the war. I wouldn’t have to face the countless deaths of those dear to me. My hands would no be scarred from frantically trying to rebuild what was lost, and yet never can be replaced. I would not have to look at her face, damp with tears that I can only helplessly and futilely wipe away. Even after the war, she will never be as safe as I want her to be, and I would have to live with knowing that. Death…black death would be nothing but a blanket as I sleep in the company of the parents I never knew. No more worries. No more thoughts. No more tormented memories.

HARRY!

No. I want to live. I want to be there for her, to support her and let her support me. I’m not ready to die! I want to be able to bury my face in her red, red hair and be comforted by the scent of flowers. I want to hold her hand as we start anew, rise from the ashes. Start again, go on a nice date for once, pick flowers in the spring, go swimming in the summer, watch the autumn leaves turn gold, shield her from a cold winter’s breeze. I want to hear her laugh and see her smile and, knowing that I cannot keep the monsters away, gently wipe away any tears that stain her face. She needs me. And I need her. I want to live.

I’m going to find my way back to her, following her voice in the moonlight. I will walk back down that hill, walking on that moonlit path, back to where I have always belonged. And I will take her hands in mine and fall to my knees and ask her what I’ve always wanted to ever since the moment I saw those four gleaming coins in my bag.

Will you marry me, Ginny?



Naru-chan: *sigh* Whew. What did you guys think? ^_^ I have one more segment to add to this series, where...well, do you think that last bit will ever happen? Hee hee. Patience is key. I'm dead tired nowadays, but I swear I'll come back and finish everything if possible. Anyway, please share with me your thoughts. I would be very grateful. Thank you for reading.

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