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An Icy Reception
By lilyevans_Jan30

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Category: Post-DH/AB, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" Challenge (2008-1)
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 48
Summary: ** Winner of Best Comedy in the Baby, It’s Cold Outside Challenge **
Harry and Ginny come home to the Burrow with a surprise. . .
Hitcount: Story Total: 13900

Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.

Author's Notes:
When I thought about this challenge, I could hear Harry and Ginny talking in my head (don't worry, not a regular occurrence). Even though it is all dialogue, I think it is pretty easy to tell who is talking. And I do realize that I may not have followed the challenge rules exactly, as the "Mouse" does leave for a brief period, but I think it makes for a much funnier story. Enjoy!


**************************************** *****************************
"I'm starving."

"Hmph. Not my fault."

"And my ears are still ringing."

"Again, not my fault."

"You could have tried to stop her."

"Stop your mother, once she gets going? I don't think so. I flirted with death enough when I let you talk me into this crazy idea."


"Yes, Ginny. Your idea. Let me quote your exact words, spoken to me only yesterday, as we sat in this very bedroom, on this very bed, listening to the very loud ghoul above us."

"You remember my exact words"

"Yes, Ginny. I am a very attentive young man. That is one of the things you love about me."

"Somebody was spreading rumors about how great you are. I can't believe I fell for them. . ."

"Ha ha ha. Now, if you would let me continue, I believe I was about to refresh your recollection about how we ended up here in the first place. Unless you want me to pull out the Pensieve to make sure I get it right?"

"No. Get on with it."

"Okay then. You said to me, 'Harry, I want this whole wedding experience to be fun and low key and easy for both of us. I definitely don't want to get into it with my mum over every little thing. If at any time I turn into a Bridezilla or start moaning over whether the bridesmaids should wear lilac or lavender. . .', at which point I interrupted you to mention that Hermione would probably be right ticked at you if you made her wear anything called Lavender. . ."

"Just get on with it."

"Okay, okay. You said, and I am paraphrasing now, that if you turned into a crazed maniac over all this wedding stuff, I had your permission to take your wand and hex the daylights out of you until you came to your senses. Am I correct?"


"I'll take that as a yes."

"And was I?"

"Were you what?"

"Was I becoming a Bridezilla?"

". . .Um, does your mum still have your wand?"

"Yes, and yours too."

"Oh. Then, well, um, yes. About the time that you started talking about a "Winter Wonderland" theme for the wedding with an ice sculpture in the shape of an actual Quidditch pitch with enchanted ice Quaffles and Bludgers and Snitches flying around people's heads at the reception, I started getting worried. You seemed more stressed than happy and were starting to remind me a bit of Fleur when she was planning her wedding. And unfortunately, I do not mean that you were adopting her Veela charm."

"Prat. Then why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?"

"Why didn't you just hex me? It would have brought me to my senses and I wouldn't have taken your comment seriously and come up with this crazy idea".

"Well, at least now you are admitting it was YOUR idea. I am just an innocent bystander."

"Innocent??? Hardly. You were the one who threatened that if I didn't shape up you were just going to do it the Muggle way and carry me out of my bedroom window and down a ladder."

"You weren't supposed to take me seriously!"

"Yeah, well, you looked way too sexy and adorable at that moment. I was expecting you to grab my wand and give me a Bat Bogey hex, not your very cute, somewhat lopsided smile. I couldn't help but think that we should just run off to the Minister of Magic for a quick ceremony.

"Yeah, like I would be able to pull off giving you a Bat Bogey Hex. With your own wand, no less. You probably have it fixed to rebound that particular spell on the caster if anyone but you tries it."

"I wouldn't try finding out, if I was you. And anyway, when you waggled your eyebrows at me when you mentioned getting a ladder, all I could think was that this way I would be free from further discussions of whether wrapping our wands in tulle to match the chair covers was still a trendy idea or already pass. . . You wore down my defenses. . . It wasn't fair. And now that I think about it, Hogwarts really needs to offer a new Defense class for witches only: Defense Against Charming Boys."

"Yep, there's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm. . . Hey wait, you are not pinning this on me! Those big chocolate eyes of yours were impossible to resist when you grabbed me to Apparate to the Ministry. "

"Mmmm, chocolate. I'm going to sneak out and try to get some food."

"Oh, no you're not. It's still way too dangerous. You are staying here with me."

"I think the sooner we face them, the better."

"I think the sooner we face each other without any clothes on, the better. . ."

"Harry . . ."

"Oh, come on. There is nothing they can do about it now. It's a magical contract. And we should take advantage of the fact that they actually sent us both to Ron's room. Together. Alone."

"As much as I wish it, we are not really alone, Harry. They are all downstairs probably trying to come up with a way to hex us both and make it look like an accident, and we don't even have our wands to defend ourselves. Plus, I don't think they really meant for us to be together. I was probably supposed to go to my room."

"Who cares? I didn't see you protesting too much when I suggested we come up here together. You don't really want to go down to your room and leave me here by myself, do you?"

"Stop it with the pathetic face. I care. We haven't even given them a good reason for what we did. And as I still have five brothers, all of whom are as big as you if not bigger, you should care too. Stop. . . kissing. . . me! It's not going to work! It's not.. It's. . . . . . . ."

"Hmmm, I thought that might get you to shut up. Anyway, it's not your five brothers I am worried about. It is your one mother. Your mother who yelled so loudly and for so long that I don't think I am ever going to hear clearly again. I already have bad eye-sight, she had to add deafness too? Pretty soon I am going to be The Boy Who Lived But Who Couldn't See or Hear Anything Ever Again. . . I think we need to stay up here for our health. Additionally, as it was this same mother who sent us upstairs in the first place, together, I am going to assume that it was her way of subconsciously blessing our decision and telling us that it is okay to consummate our union."

"Harry, that is the biggest load of backwards justification for getting me into bed that I have ever heard. And I suppose you would say that by taking our wands, she wanted to place the silencing, and locking, and, I don't know, the CONTRACEPTIVE charms herself, just to make sure they were done correctly. Hmmm?"

"Well, maybe not the contraceptive charm. I am sure that once she gets over her initial shock and anger, she will be quite delighted at the idea of a grandchild."

"Harry, by the time she gets over her anger, said grandchild will be ready for Hogwarts."

"So you are agreeing that we should get one started???"

"Yes, I mean no, I mean. . . Arrgh! Boys and their one-track minds! I am so hungry I am not thinking straight!"

"Talk about one-track minds. You Weasleys are about as one-track as they come when it comes to eating."

"You are forgetting something. I'm a Potter now. And this Potter is really hungry."

"Hungry for me???"


"Did I mention your lips look delicious?"

"Harry . . .HARRY. . . oh. . . .No. . . wait. . . . We can't do this until we straighten everything out downstairs., and I get something to eat."

"Listen, just stay up here where it is safe. I think I have a Chocolate Frog in my pocket. You can even have the card. Think of it as a wedding gift."

"Oi, how romantic. . . Hey, it already has a bite out of it!"

"Whoops, Ron must have gotten there first. He has a bigger appetite than even you."

"Harry, as irresistible as I must think you are to have gotten into this mess in the first place, you are not helping the situation. I am going down. I am going to get some food and to try to explain ourselves. . . Hmmm. . . Maybe they will believe we accidentally got our hands on a secret, unauthorized Portkey that whisked us to the Ministry of Magic, and that Kingsley tricked you into believing that the fate of the Wizarding world rested on our getting hitched right then and there. That might work. You do have that "saving people" thing. . . Are you coming with me?"

"Hell no. I would rather never eat again than face your family."

"Harry, they're your family now too."

"Oh yeah, I forgot for a second. But that still won't stop them from hexing me to bits. Or just hexing my bits. . ."

"At least that would take care of the contraceptive issue. . ."

"Ouch, Ginny! Do you really want that? Your mum is scary enough with one wand. Now that she has ours as well, I can't believe you are volunteering to go face her."

"She's my mum, how bad could it be?"

"Exactly. She's your mum. You are her only daughter and you just deprived her of the chance to wrap you in miles and miles of white silk and organza and frou frou and parade you in front of dozens of red haired relatives you won't remember anyway because they all look alike and none of them can get their faces more than about five inches away from the plates they are piling full of food. . . You know exactly how bad it could be. . . But if you insist on going, you had better wear my jumper against the chill. Something tells me they have not warmed to the idea of a new son-in-law quite yet."

"Frou frou? I would never have worn anything called frou frou. Give me the jumper."

**************************** ********************
"Well, I'm back."

"That didn't take long. Were they still upset?"

"Oh no, they welcomed me with open arms and a big party. There was dancing, and singing, and moving to the grooving. . ."

"So I take it you did not get anything to eat."

"Eat? Are you mental? It was like walking into a blizzard, I got such a chilly reception."

"Well, you said you wanted a Winter theme for your wedding."

"A room full of uncharacteristically silent Weasleys was not part of my vision. There is no way they are forgiving us any time soon."

"I could have told you it was still cold outside. Now come here. I'm hungry. We're married, and the bed is nice and warm. . ."

"Well, it may not be as good as some of my mum's pie, but I guess it's a close second."

"I love you, Ginny. I'm glad you decided to stay."

"Hmmph. Like I had any choice."

CH1 11412695.1

Reviews 48

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