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I Carry Your Heart | ||||||
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Category: Alternate Universe, Post-Hogwarts Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Romance Warnings: None Rating: PG-13 Reviews: 7 Summary: *** The author has been reminded via the e-mail address on file that this story is listed as incomplete and has not been updated in over 2 years *** Based loosely on the novel "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. At the age of twenty-three, Harry Potter finally has the life that he wants... good friends, a great job, and the love of his life. However, in a world where things can literally change in the blink of an eye, we see that things are not quite as they seem for Harry and that his life can never be simple. For although he finally has the life he's always wanted, he has no control on whether he can stay in it. Hitcount: Story Total: 10853; Chapter Total: 2329 Author's Notes: Sorry that it took so long to get this up. I blame college (and finding every episode of Studio 60 and Heroes online). Now that I'm home for break I hope to get a few chapters out before I have to go back. In an attempt to make up for how long it took to finish this chapter I jammed it with a whole bunch of stuff. It definitely didn't end the way I'd planned. Maybe it's best to get unhapy stuff done early. Hopefully it's not too confusing and you enjoy it! Happy Holidays! |
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Chapter 1- The Work of Children (Ginny is 16. Harry is 17 and 21) “Ginny, I’ve already told you. You’re not coming!” Harry yelled in frustration and desperation, whirling around to face an equally frustrated yet determined Ginny. “Honestly Harry, you need me! I can fight. You know I can! What good am I to anyone cooped up here?” Ginny replied heatedly. “You know better than anyone that there are worse things than dying. Being alive without actually living! I’ve seen you live that way for so long and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” She shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what else to say. “Isn’t that worth dying for? What we have… well, that’s absolutely worth dying for.” She walked up to him and slid her arms around his waist and said quietly, “Let me be there for you. Let me help you.” She slowly tilted her head up and kissed him softly, in what she admitted was a low blow on her part. Harry’s response was almost immediate. Before she realized it, his hands were clutching her face and he was kissing her back almost desperately. Despite his restraint, she could feel his hands shaking as he held her firmly in place. In the back of her mind, she was faintly aware that there was something off about this kiss, but as Harry pushed her back roughly against the wooden closet door of her childhood bedroom she lost sight of everything else. All she knew was the feel of him pressing into her, the smell of him flooding her brain. Merlin, the things this man did to her. In an effort to calm himself, he placed his hands on either side of her head, bracing himself for what was to come next. He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers, willing her to see inside his mind and understand why he needed her to stay put. Trying to the check the emotion that was threatening to spill forth from him, he managed to grind out through clenched teeth, “I don’t know how to make you understand. I can’t lose you! I just… I COULDN’T take it if… I..” Ginny looked up into his face as he trailed off and was struck by his brilliant green eyes, which were making a silent plea with her. “Oh Harry,” she whispered. “What do you think would happen if I lost you and I couldn’t do anything to help you? Do you see what you’re asking me to do?” She reached up and stroked the side of his face softly, watching as his eyes clouded a bit as they often did if he was considering something. Then suddenly his mouth was on hers again, but only briefly before he said, “I will always come back for you, Ginny. Just…just please wait for me.” And with a pop, he was gone. It was a good minute before Ginny’s brain processed what had just happened. The following second was all it took before all the blood rushed to her face and she began screaming every expletive that she’d ever heard and had the grace to blush at. When she saw Harry Potter next he’d wish he’d never asked her to wait because she’d definitely be waiting… waiting to KILL him!! She picked up the glass snitch figurine that he’d given her for her birthday, seeing red as she glared at the object. “You shouldn’t do that. You’re going to really regret breaking it in a couple of years,” warned a familiar voice from the doorway. Her grip tightened on the snitch as she grew angrier. “When are you from now? Cause you’d think by then you would finally recognize that I STILL don’t need you to protect me!” She turned around and threw the tiny snitch at that all too-familiar face, which, unfortunately, managed to duck it just in time. If it was possible, this made her angrier and she began yelling at him every dirty word she knew. ---------- Harry winced at the onslaught of insults being thrown at him. It wasn’t exactly fair, was it? This wasn’t exactly where he wanted to be at this moment. He’d been enjoying his Sunday lie-in with his wife, one of his favorite, simple pastimes. It had been a few hours since he’d woken up but he’d lain in bed unmoving, simply content to watch her sleep wildly beside him. Even in sleep, she was a mess and he loved her for it. Then, all of a sudden, he’d been whisked here and immediately attacked. As he saw her eyes light upon another fragile object that she was probably imagining flying in the air towards his head, he decided to try to stop her before things got out of hand. “Whoa, calm down now. You know the poor prat can’t help it.” He chanced a step towards her. “What? And that’s just supposed to make it better?” She turned her eyes to him and, in a flash, he could see the anger disappear and be replaced by hurt. “Just because you’re a prat means that I should be happy with the fact that you always leave me behind? Always!” Harry felt his heart clench in his chest as tears began to form in her eyes. He quietly closed the door behind him and walked towards her, her body shaking in an attempt to hold back her sobs. When he wrapped his arms around her, however, the dam seemed to break and she gave way to her grief. He led her to the bed and sat her down on the edge of it, still holding her. He ran his hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there holding her, but eventually her tears began to let up. He pulled away from her slightly and surveyed her face. While it was a sight, red and splotchy from crying, he couldn’t help but think her beautiful. Taking a risk, he moved so that he was reclining against the mass of pink pillows piled at the head of her bed, feeling decidedly unmasculine, and patted the space next to him. Reluctantly, Ginny lay next to him, allowing her head to rest on his chest, enjoying the feel of his arms wrapping around her. They just lay there for a long time in silence, comfortable in knowing that neither of them had to talk. After a while, he heard her soft voice ask him, “Why did you do it?” He was silent for a moment, trying to recall that moment. That was the night where he’d gone off to face Voldemort. He’d been a wreck after leaving her. Instead of apparating to meet Hermione and Ron, he’d gone to the Weasley’s backyard and hid behind the shed, trying to calm down and convince himself that he’d done the right thing. It took everything in him to not go back to her. Instead, he pictured every reason that he was doing this. “You’re all I have. I think on some level I felt that…it wouldn’t matter as much if I died.” He felt her shift to look up at him, half sympathetic and half annoyed. He continued on quickly before she could say anything. “The Dursleys… they were never my family. I was never really loved until I met Ron and Hermione and we became friends. It’s hard to undo 11 years of thinking no one cared you. I know that’s no excuse but that’s just the way it is. But with you, it was completely different. When we first kissed, I first began to love you and it was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I began to love you with my whole heart, and, for the first time, I thought that you might feel the same. It was one of the most amazing things that I’d ever felt. I didn’t want to be anywhere, but around you, touching you in some way, just being close to you. But at the same time, it was terrifying. When I first figured out how much I loved you, I went into hero mode.” He paused when she let out a decidedly unladylike snort and continued. “In my mind, the further away you were, the safer you were. And that became the most important thing to me. So I tried breaking it off with you, but, of course, you would have none of that. And when it came to tonight, I was in a panic. I knew I had to face Voldemort and I knew you’d want to come with me, but I couldn’t let you. I was never any good saying no to you in the first place so when you asked to come I didn’t know what to do. I thought if I died, you’d be able to get over it. You’d have your whole family to help you through it and, most importantly, you’d be safe. If you’d died, there’d be no coming back for me. Ever.” He scrubbed his free hand over his face, tiredly. He definitely hadn’t counted on having this conversation today. He briefly wondered if he’d be back in time to make the Cannons game with Ron later. “So, I know it was probably one of the most pigheaded, insensitive, inconsiderate, hurtful–your words, not mine–things that I could have done…” He trailed off and looked into her eyes. “But, just know this, I would do it again in a heartbeat. If it ever comes down to me having to keep you safe over me, I will always choose you.” And, because he could never resist her, he leaned in and kissed her softly. ---------- Ginny was somewhat overwhelmed by his confession. The Harry of her time would rather learn to waltz with Snape dressed as Neville’s grandmother than to tell anyone how he was actually feeling. She smirked inwardly, thinking that her future self must have done quite a number on him to inspire such a turn around. As she listened to him speak, she began to find herself ensnared in “Harry logic” and, despite the ridiculousness of it all, realized just how damaged the boy really was. The part of her mind that was slowly becoming her mother wanted to wrap him up in her arms and hug the self-depreciation out of him for as long as it took. But the other part of her mind was just angry. How dare he say that she would be able to get over his death better than he would? How could he say that his own pain would be worse than hers? These questions rang in her ears, distracting her as Harry leaned forward and covered her mouth with his. The feel of his lips against hers, so different from the pair that had just kissed her not thirty minutes earlier, startled her out of her inward rants. She didn’t want to be angry or scared out of her mind anymore. She just wanted to forget that somewhere her family, her best friend and the love of her life were saving the world and risking their lives. When he rolled her on her back and continued to snog her, his hands caressing her face gently, she allowed herself to forget what was happening far away without her and the growing sense of uneasiness that was forming in her stomach. Harry pulled away abruptly and stared at her face for a while, a strange look coming into his eyes. Growing uncomfortable under his gaze, she asked, “What? What’s the matter? Do I have something on my face?” She reached up to try to brush whatever it was, and was surprised when his hand grabbed hers. “It’s nothing. I just love you…always have.” She laughed softly, “Oh right, whatever. I love you, it’s nothing. I’d hate to see what ‘something’ is for you.” Her eyes danced as she teased him. He grinned as he leaned in to kiss her again. Their lips were just about to meet when a hysterical screech could be heard from downstairs. “They did WHAT?!” came the high-pitched voice of Ginny’s mother from the kitchen of the Burrow. Ginny’s eyes met Harry’s and they both winced as they realized that her mother had probably found the goodbye note from Ron. The thudding that could be heard from the stairs could only mean that she was on her way to confront her daughter about her part in this. “Bugger!” Harry murmured, as he and Ginny sat up. “I know! We need to get you hidden,” she exclaimed, jumping off the bed and running towards to closet. “No, it’s not that.” Ginny stopped and turned to look at him in confusion, finally realizing what he was talking about. His skin seemed to almost glow. Every part of him looked somewhat hazy as if every particle of his body were vibrating in an attempt to escape. His body appeared to flicker in and out a few times before he was able to mouth a quick goodbye and disappear. ---------- (Harry is 21. Ginny is 20.) Harry landed none too gracefully on the hard, wooden floor beside his bed, his head making a loud ‘thud’ as it hit the ground. “Bloody hell, that hurt!” He all but screamed as he clutched his head in agony. As he silently cursed Ginny’s decision to get a house with wood floors rather than that lovely carpeted one, he was startled by a familiar laugh from the doorway. Glancing upward, he finally noticed his wife leaning against the doorframe, casually drinking from a coffee mug and shaking in silent laughter. “All right there, love? You seem to have fallen on the floor,” Ginny asked in mock concern. He only glared at her, earning him another laugh. “Well, I’m glad my pain amuses you, my dearest beloved wife?” Harry grumbled sourly as he pulled himself into a sitting position against the bed, mentally taking stock of the rest of his body and finding it to be unbroken. He watched as she walked towards him and plopped beside him on the floor. “You’ll have to forgive me. It’s not every day that you see the savior of the wizarding world humbled by the floor.” She winked saucily and leaned in to give him a lingering, ‘good morning’ kiss that made him forget his throbbing head. Placing her coffee mug on the ground, she snuggled into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. She sighed softly and said quietly, “Did you just come from–” “Yes.” He felt her nod before she replied, “Okay.” She was silent a few more moments before he heard, “I’m glad you’re home.” He smiled and tightened his arms around her, kissing the top of her head and murmuring into her hair, “Me too.” He closed his eyes and memories from the time he’d just left filled his thoughts, causing his smile to fade. Squeezing Ginny tighter, he allowed himself to take comfort in his wife. ---------- (Ginny is 16.) “GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY!! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS SECOND AND YOU TELL ME WHERE THEY WENT!!” Ginny visibly winced, glancing to the spot where Harry had just disappeared from and wishing that he had taken her with him. She quickly calculated her chances of escaping through the window but realized her mother would be dragging her by the ear back inside before she could even reach the garden. Resigning herself to her fate, she walked slowly towards the door. Despite the fact that she had not left with the trio herself, she was sure to get the lion’s share of the blame. As she took a deep breath and cursed her Gryffindor courage, she opened the door and was almost knocked over as the imposing form of Molly Weasley barreled into the room. “Ginevra Weasley, you will tell me where your brother went and you will tell me RIGHT NOW. If they think that I will just step aside and let them chase after You-Know-Who…” “Voldemort,” Ginny wearily corrected. “…then they are sorely mistaken. You all are still children, for Merlin’s sake!” Ginny spun around to look at her mother, hardly believing her ears. Maybe it was just her, but children didn’t go risking their lives for the greater good. “We are not children, mum,” she replied quietly. Mrs. Weasley froze mid rant, hands waving wildly in the air and mouth wide open. At any other time, the humor of the pose would not have been lost on Ginny. As her mother’s angry gaze focused in on her youngest daughter, however, things didn’t seem quite so funny. Her mother’s plump hands fisted themselves and deposited themselves upon her plump hips as her body went into its patented ‘scold’ stance. “Pardon me, Ginevra, but if you are trying to say that running away in the middle of the night and leaving a note…” She paused and waved said note for dramatic effect. “…is what ‘adults’ would do, then–“ “What I am trying to say, “ Ginny cut in loudly, “is that this is our war, too. Mum, you keep trying to protect us and refuse to see that maybe it’s our job to protect you. Harry has been fighting Voldemort since he was one year old. He’s willing to give his life so that others don’t have to suffer like he did and he’s only seventeen years old.” She was silent for a moment as the reality of what was happening at that moment hit her, and she felt tears forming in her eyes. “We haven’t been children for years now.” She was distracted from her thoughts by a loud sob and the creak of her bed as her mother sank heavily into it. Guilt flooded Ginny and she rushed to her mother’s side. She had never meant to make her cry. She sat on the bed and placed an arm around her mother who was currently sobbing into her apron. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you children to be safe and not have to worry for your lives like we did when we had all of you. The greatest gift we were ever given was our lives with you. All your father and I want is for you all to get married and have families and just live. We’d do anything to protect that future for you.” She broke off to dissolve into another round of sobbing. Ginny watched as her mother cried for a few moments before laying her head on her shoulder and allowing her own tears to fall. “I know, mum. I know.” ---------- The next day was spent watching the clock in the kitchen as the three hands for Ron, Hermione and Harry sat parked at ‘Mortal Peril’. Her mother went about her day either crying at the kitchen table or preparing meals for any of her brothers or father or any other Order member that would come through the Weasley household. Ginny tried to help when she could but her mind kept wandering to the three hands on the clock. The following day brought no sign of anyone. With the exception of Ginny, her mother, and Fleur, who had chosen to finish out the rest of her pregnancy with them in the Burrow, all of the hands on the clock now pointed to ‘Mortal Peril’. With no one to cook for, Molly spent all of her time now crying in her room. As Fleur was on bed rest, Ginny now had two women to take care of. Despite being pregnant and being Fleur, her sister-in-law provided relatively no trouble to her. She seemed to be more anxious for her husband’s wellbeing than for her own and Ginny could obviously sympathize with that. Her mother, on the other hand, was another matter. Ginny felt as if she were helpless to do anything for her. She wouldn’t take a kip or eat. Ever since she had removed herself to upstairs, Molly had spent all of her time looking through old scrapbooks and picture albums as well as reading school essays and admiring childhood artwork. It was late when Ginny retired to her room for the night. She didn’t even bother turning on the light as she took a seat beside her window and watched the garden and fields outside. She kept thinking about future Harry’s visit from two days before and his face before he left, trying to analyze his silence before he left. He’d looked so sad for a moment as if recalling something, but, of course, revealed nothing about it. For as long as she could remember, Harry had always been careful about revealing too much to her about the future. Basically, all she knew was that something would happen to him that would cause him to time travel spontaneously and that one day she and Harry would be married, but she’d known that since she was five, so that hardly counted as something she’d learned from him. She just knew there was something more to that look than what he let on. Sighing, she stood up to go to bed. Just as she was turning to go lay down, movement in the garden caught her eye. Her hand gripped her wand tightly as she inched slowly back to the window. Looking out the window, what she saw caused her to run from her room and seek her mother. Bursting into her mother’s room, she immediately ran to the figure on the bed. “Mum, wake up!” she whispered loudly and shaking her awake. Sitting up groggily, Molly slowly focused on her daughter’s face. “Ginny? What is it? Are they home?!” She gently pushed Ginny aside as she quickly stood up. “No mum. There are two Death Eaters outside. I think they’re trying to figure out how to break the wards down. It won’t take that long before they get inside.” Molly’s face filled with fear and then determination. “I’m going to get the emergency portkey from the den. Go gather Fleur and then wait for me on the landing. Hurry up now and don’t be afraid!” Hugging her daughter quickly, she made her way out of the room and towards the stairs. Following her mother’s instructions, Ginny ran to Bill’s old room and quickly roused Fleur from her bed. When they made it to the landing, Ginny was surprised that her mother wasn’t there yet. Listening intently, she could hear rustling down in the den. “I don’t think she can find it,” Ginny whispered to Fleur quietly. “I’m going to go help her.” She made it a step before Fleur grabbed her. “Ginny, you mustn’t!” Fleur lilted quietly in her French accent. “Your muzzer said we must wait!” Pulling her arm away none too gently, she hissed back, “Well I can’t just leave her alone down there. We all need to get out of here before they get in.” And without waiting for a response, she ran down the stairs towards the den. Crouching as she passed the door so that the Death Eaters wouldn’t see her, Ginny made it to the entry of the den, only to find her mother not there. Before she could turn around to go back to the landing, a loud boom crashed behind her and she realized with a panic that the Death Eaters had made it past the wards. “Well, well.. If it isn’t the youngest Weasley,” came a familiar, creepy and aristocratic voice from behind her that caused her hair to stand on end. Lucius Malfoy. Turning around slowly, she gripped her wand and was prepared to hurl a hex at him until she heard the Death Eater beside him yell, “Expelliarmus!” She watched helplessly as the wand in her hand was pulled away from her and fly to the waiting hand of the second Death Eater. She watched as Lucius pulled off his mask and dropped it to the ground. Smiling, he began to walk slowly around the room, picking up items and inspecting them with distaste before dropping them to the floor for effect. “Now, Ginevra, is it? I do believe we have some unfinished business about five years in the making. This time, however, your precious Potter is not here to save you. Even as we speak, my colleagues are seeing to it that he is taken care of and–“ “Colleagues?” Ginny cut in, confused. “Why are your colleagues taking care of Harry? I thought it was Voldemort that would–“ She broke off as she read between the lines of what Lucius was saying. “Unless Voldemort is dead.” Even as she spoke the words she watched as anger–and was it fear?–grew in Lucius’ eyes. “Is that it Lucius? Has Harry defeated your Dark Lord?” “Shut up!” “It couldn’t be that a seventeen year old wizard has defeated the most powerful wizard of all time!” “Silence!” Malfoy shouted almost desperately, eyes blazing in fury. She didn’t know why but the news caused such happiness to well up inside her that before she knew it she was laughing. She was laughing so hard that she was crying. “Stop it!” he yelled again but this seemed to make her laugh even more. Of course, all this did was incense him greatly and before she’d realized it he’d pulled out his wand, pointing it at her and yelling, “Crucio!” The world went dark as white-hot pain coursed through her and she was vaguely aware of falling to her knees. It felt like forever until he lifted the curse. Having regained the upper hand, Malfoy circled her on the floor as she gasped for breath and wiped at the trail of blood from where she’d bit her lip. “Now, as I was saying. We have unfinished business.” He walked back over to where the other Death Eater was standing. “I gave you that diary five years ago in hopes that it would aid my plans for your death. As my plans were obviously thwarted, I am now forced to make good on those plans myself.” Raising his wand, he pointed it at her steadily. “Do you have any last words or perhaps you’d like to beg me for your pathetic life?” He leered at her suggestively in a way that made her want to throw up. “Perhaps we could come up with some sort of arrangement.” “Go to hell!” Ginny spat. Despite the growing dread in her stomach, she knew that she wasn’t about to die. She was destined to marry Harry and that obviously couldn’t happen if she were dead. Lucius laughed and slowly spoke the words, “Avada Kedavra.” Ginny closed her eyes as she saw the bright green light emanate from his wand, no longer being so sure that she would survive this encounter. Ginny wasn’t too sure what happened in the next few seconds that passed. All she heard was the sound of feet moving and then Lucius screaming followed by the sound of thuds as multiple things hit the floor. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw were the bodies of Lucius Malfoy and the other Death Eater lying still on the floor. Surprised and confused, she tried to make her way over to where they lay on the floor but stopped as her foot hit something in front of her on the ground. As she looked down to see what it was, her heart stopped as she looked into the still face of her mother. Falling to her knees, she began to shake her mother, refusing to believe that she was dead. “Mum! Mum wake up! Please mum wake up!” She barely felt the tears rolling down her face. She didn’t hear Fleur coming into the room where she fell beside her and cried. “Oh god.” The only thing she could think of was earlier that morning when she’d brought her mother breakfast in her room. She’d curled up beside her like she’d done so many times as a child. Molly simply gathered her child into her arms and told Ginny that she’d loved her and was proud of her. Ginny began to sob openly and violently then, clinging to her mother’s hand and pressing it to her face as she had done that morning. The sound of the front door opening could be heard as well as many pairs of feet running in. She slowly looked up into the face of her father gazing at her mother, grief stricken and broken. From behind him, all of her brothers began to crowd into the room, each stopping when they noticed their mother, all looking a combination of distraught and angry. The last people that came into the room were Ron, Hermione and Harry. Hermione immediately turned and embraced Ron, crying quietly into his chest. Ron looked lost, reminding her of when he was a little boy. Harry looked like he’d been momentarily petrified, his face becoming ashen. His eyes flickered up to her face and she almost sobbed at the pain that looked back at her. “Harry,” she mouthed, and, within moments, he was holding her and she was crying into his chest. As he held her, he whispered over and over again, “I’m so sorry.” She felt hollow inside and the only thing that she could think was, “Why didn’t Harry tell me?” |
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