SIYE Time:21:50 on 10th December 2024 SIYE Login: no | | |
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Category: Post-HBP
Characters:None
Genres: Fluff
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 7
Summary: The hunt for the Horcruxes is about to begin for Harry, Ron and Hermione and Ginny is trying to cope with her emotions of frustration and heartbreak as she realizes that Harry truly doesn't let on to the depth of his own feelings. NOTE: Don't read unless your a true romantic. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED... (H/G and MILD language)
Hitcount: Story Total: 6348
Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.
Author's Notes: “Behind These Hazel Eyes” is property of Kelly Clarkson, I don’t take credit for it, just as I don’t take credit for the Harry Potter characters… yadda, yadda, yadda. All that jazz. The plot is mine though!
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Ginny shivered and hugged herself tightly as she stood, leaning against one of the porch beams, as she stared across the property. Her long hair tossed in the light but chilly breeze and she swallowed the sob that continued to rise in her throat.
Seems just like yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Ginny listened hard to the voices of Ron, Harry and Hermione in the kitchen, planning their hunt for the Horcruxes. They were planning to leave tomorrow and the realization that they were leaving had finally sunk in. She had already asked to go with them, but Ron and Hermione had both told her flat out that she couldn’t. Harry had been there at the time, but he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, looking conflicted.
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable
Like nothing could go wrong
The past few weeks had been painfully tense and awkward. Harry had avoided her for the most part and if she didn’t managed to close a distance between them, then he immediately either left the room or made it impossible for her to get any closer by any means necessary.
She had cried herself to sleep nearly every night and had even sobbed to Hermione, pleading for answers and explanations. But Hermione only replied that Harry refused to say anything about how he felt. His answer was always the same, “just drop it, Hermione. I know what I’m doing.”
Now I can’t breathe
No, I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on
The sound of chairs scraping in the kitchen told her that they were heading up to bed. It was late, but Ginny knew that tonight, she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Her heart ached painfully and she bowed her head, tears welling in her eyes again. How could he do this to her? He was leaving without saying goodbye!
The light that shone from the kitchen window went out and Ginny knew that she was completely alone. She sniffed and sighed shakily. Would she ever see Hermione, her brother or Harry again? How long would they be gone for?
Here I am
Once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it
Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Tears dropped onto her cheeks and the wind chose that moment to pick up. The leaves rustled in the trees and the chickens were running back to their coop for shelter. The clouds above shifted and Ginny knew that it would soon rain.
”How long were you planning on standing out here?” asked a voice of concern and worry.
Footsteps followed these words and Ginny looked up, startled. Her eyes met Harry’s and a small jolt of shock ran down her spine. This was the first time that he had spoken to her since he had broken up with her.
She couldn’t reply; nor could she take her eyes off him as he walked closer and closer. She was vaguely aware of how attractive he looked as the wind tossed his dark hair around and how his eyes seemed to shimmer in the moonlight.
“You look so cold. Here… take my jumper.” He tugged the green sweater off his body and held it out to her.
“No, I’m fine,” she bit out softly, glancing at it.
He waited a moment and then shrugged, but didn’t put it back on. “Want to go for a walk?”
Hesitating, she considered this offer, but in the end, her heart agreed and she nodded. He led her off the porch and onto the grassy landing. They took up a slow pace and there was a moment or two of silence.
“You’re furious with me, aren’t you?” His voice wasn’t accusing or weary, but rather, he sounded remorseful of his actions.
“I’m not angry, Harry.”
“Yes, you are.”
She looked at him and shook her head. “No, I’m not!”
“You should be,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“And why is that?” she asked rather hotly.
“Because of the way I’ve been treating you. I don’t deserve a chance to be with you right now.”
Her eyes stung with the urge to cry, but she pushed it away determinedly. “No, you don’t.”
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel all right for once in my life
“I didn’t ever want to hurt you!” he blurted anxiously. “Never. But Ginny, if you only knew how badly I-“
Whatever possessed her to do what she did next, she didn’t know. She raised her hand and slapped his face with such vigor that he stumbled back a step and clapped a hand to his reddened cheek with a groan of pain. Adrenaline and fury rushed through her veins and she could hear her own heart pounding in her ears.
“You were upset? I’ve spent every night crying myself to sleep and every day trying to talk to you, but you kept pushing me away!”
He was staring at her with watery eyes of pain and she continued as the words spilled from her mouth.
“You never let me explain how I was feeling, or told me how you were feeling! You never gave me a reason or gave me a chance. You broke my heart, Harry Potter! And the sad thing is that I can’t help but still care about you, still ache for you with every fiber of my being!”
She was trembling with rage, but she wasn’t finished. It was as if an emotional dam had just exploded deep inside her.
“I know why you wanted to break up with me and I accept that, but you can’t expect me not to hurt! You can’t expect me to just stand back while you save the world and your sorry ass! Don’t you understand that what you’re doing to me is destroying me?!”
She grabbed the collar of his robes and shook him. “God, Harry, you mean everything to me and I thought we really had something, but you just threw it all way to protect me. Well, you can tell me that I can’t help you find and destroy the Horcruxes, but nothing is going to stop me from standing at your side when you face Voldemort.”
“You can’t do that.” His voice was firm and almost dangerous. “I can’t let you risk your life like that.”
She glared at him hatefully and the tears finally won. They sparkled in her eyes as she spoke. “Harry… my life means nothing if you’re not in it.”
All anger vanished at that moment and Ginny averted her eyes, loosening her hold on him. He knew what he had to do now. It was obvious that she wanted it, and he had been aching to do this for ages. Harry hesitantly wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed her lips. It ended quickly and they let go of each other reluctantly.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, a tear streaking down her face.
“It was my fault. Ginny, I’m so sorry.”
They began walking again and after a minute or so, Ginny’s teeth began to chatter and Harry wordlessly handed her his jumper. She put it on and let the warmth seep into her skin and his smell wash over her. Suddenly she didn’t feel so angry with him anymore…
“Did you mean what you said?” he asked shyly.
“What?”
“About… about your life meaning nothing without me?”
Ginny blushed lightly and she whispered ‘yes.’ He smiled again and his fingers brushed hers, gently capturing her hand in his. His touch sent a tingling feeling up her arm and down her back and she tightened the grip.
Now all that’s left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together
But so broken up inside
“You mean the world to me, too, Gin.”
She smiled ever so slightly through her tears. “You hide it very well.”
“Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t there.”
There was a pause and then-
“How long will you be?”
“A few months. We’ll be back,” he assured her calmly. “Your mother insisted that we come back every day, but it would take too long that way.”
“I’ll miss you,” she whispered.
“I’ll miss you too.”
Cause I can’t breathe
No, I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on
They stopped walking and Harry pulled her hand so that she was in front of him. The world melted away when he kissed her and she didn’t want the rushing sensation to end, so she slid her arms around him. How could she let it him go?
Here I am, once again
And I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it
Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
“When you come back… I mean… when it’s all over, I’ll be waiting for you.”
He nodded, leaning his forehead against hers. “I know. And Gin, please try to concentrate in school and not to worry about us too much.” He smiled teasingly. “When I come back, I don’t think you’ll have much time for school work. I won’t be letting you go.”
“Promise?”
He stared into her eyes longingly.
“I promise.”
Broken up, deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
“We’d better head in,” he told her reluctantly.
She sighed and with a glance at her watch, she knew he was right. It was nearly midnight and he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow. They walked up to the house together and at the doorway, he held her back and gave her one last kiss.
It was the longest, the sweetest and the deepest. He took one last look at her and then disappeared inside. Ginny stood on the porch, leaning against the house. Her lips were still tingling with the feel of his lips against hers.
After a minute, she went inside and locked the doors before proceeding to her room. She shut the door and went to her bed. She hugged herself and bowed her head to take in the scent of the fabric again.
Thinking back to what she had felt before she had walked with Harry, she felt disgusted with herself for being so angry with him…
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you
I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don’t cry on the outside
Anymore
Anymore…
The next morning, she rolled over and awoke instantly when the sun shone in her face. She sat bolt upright and the realization hit her that he would be long gone by now. Indeed, she no longer felt his presence in the house.
Groaning, she pushed her tangled locks of hair back and looked around her room. She spotted his jumper on the floor and vaguely remembered tugging it off in the middle of the night, overheated.
She picked it up carefully and buried her face in it. The scent was still there, but faint. Still, it was soothing. She lifted her head and another scent caught her attention. She got to her feet and went to the door, pulling it open.
She was about to take a step, but she froze and stared in wonder at her doorway. A long white box sat there and she dropped to her knees, pulling off the lid. Inside was over a dozen red roses, a small blue card and a letter.
Ginny picked up the little card first and read it with trembling fingers. The words were written in swirly gold letters.
Red roses are symbolic for the sender’s deep affections and love for the receiver.
She picked up the letter and tore it open. It wasn’t a long letter, but she could tell that Harry had taken a lot of effort to think about what he was writing.
Ginny,
Please do not be angry with me for leaving without saying goodbye to you this morning, but I know that I couldn’t bear to say goodbye to the woman that I intend to spend my life with. I’m sorry if this is bold of me, but I honestly can say that I don’t feel stupid writing them. I cannot see myself with anyone else, despite the fact that we were never together for very long. There’s just something about you that lights up my life and gives me something to look forward to each and every day.
I deserved every harsh word that you said to me and I hope that my cheek is permanently marked or scarred in some way, as a cruel reminder of the hurt and pain that I caused you. I don’t know anyone who hits harder than you do and I now feel sure that I know why your brothers fear you when you’re angry.
I had these roses ordered a few days after I got to your house. They are charmed to last twice as long. I hope you like them.
You can send owls to me, but try not to use the same owl all the time. I’d prefer to not attract attention to our location. We decided to return earlier than we expected, but I’m not sure exactly when.
Please know that everything I said last night was true, and as proof, I have left something else in the bottom of this box, but I’m not sure as to how you’ll react. Hermione actually suggested it after a long chat with her last night in the kitchen before our walk.
Stay safe and I’ll be in touch.
-Harry
Ginny set the letter down and let out a shaky sob, tears rolling down her face again.
Here I am, once again
And I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it
Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up
Deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Carefully, she lifted out all of the roses and set them gently on the ground beside her. Her eyes widened at the sight of a tiny black box sitting at the box. Wiping her eyes so that she could see, she slowly lifted it out.
Here I am, once again
And I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it
Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside.
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Her fingers ran over the soft case and then she lifted the lid and a strangled sob escaped her lips as she stared at the beautiful silver ring in the case. She removed it from the slit and admired it with a dazed expression of shock and overwhelming emotions.
She turned the ring and noticed that the inside was engraved with the word, “promise.” She slid it onto her finger and just knelt in the doorway, crying pathetically until she couldn’t cry anymore. Gathering up the roses and the letter, she went back into her bedroom.
She set the box on the bed and placed the roses back into the box, intending to go and fetch a vase for them, her fingers playing idly with the ring on her finger.
She left the room and a white card fluttered to the ground that she hadn’t noticed.
I could spend all my life
With you in my arms
As my wife
With these uncertain times ahead
I need to get a few things
Off of my mind
Out of my head
Your smile, your lips
Your scent, your touch
All of these things,
I miss so very much
As I wait for day
That we can be together again,
I imagine what life will be like
Come the very end
Holding you closely
Telling you that I can’t deny
That I cherished every moment
That I got to stare into your
Beautiful hazel eyes
FIN.
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