SIYE Time:19:47 on 14th December 2024 SIYE Login: no | | |
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The Long Road By ToughLove
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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:None
Genres: Angst, Fluff
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 11
Summary: A series of missing moments in the 6th book, and one extra added moment. Some parts of my story are taken from the 6th book, but only for the purpose of the story.
Hitcount: Story Total: 5473
Author's Notes: I am not JK Rowling. I wrote this fic purely for fun. Enjoy!
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Ginny sat, her knees bent closely to her chest, reading the worn pages of her secondhand charms book. The chapter was long and boring, and was assigned over three weeks ago, but she felt no guilt reading it last minute. She loved charms, sure, but Professor Flitwick’s idea of “a good read” was far from what the rest of the world considered a good piece of literature. Nothing about this chapter was attention grabbing, but she supposed that anything was better than spending time with Dean. Horrible thing to say about one’s boyfriend, but she couldn’t help but feel annoyed with him. He hadn’t done anything wrong, per say, but in the last couple of weeks everything that he did drove her insane. She hated the way he chewed his gum; it reminded her of hippogriff gnawing on a ferret. And she especially hated the way he held her books whenever they walked in the hallway. It was as if he thought she was incapable of doing such a simple task herself. She knew that things between them were not going to last, but instead of breaking it off with him she chose the easier route.
Avoiding Dean turned out to be surprisingly easy since she knew his schedule. He would probably be entering the common room sometime within the next hour, so she decided to make herself sparse in a few minutes.
“Hi Ginny.”
She looked up as Hermione seated herself on the chair opposite her. “Hey.”
“I saw Dean not long ago. He was looking for you.”
Ginny sighed, leaning back against the fireplace. “Was he?”
“Are you two rowing?”
“No,” she answered, and then added quickly. “Maybe…Oh bugger! Hermione, I reckon I’ll never find a guy that I wont grow tired of. I mean, Dean’s perfect–he’s–he’s charming, attractive, sweet, and fun… but I don’t know–I can’t seem to find those feelings I had in the beginning of our relationship. I’m being stupid, aren’t I? Perhaps I’m imagining too much about how love should be. Maybe it’s not as extraordinary as people make it out to be. Maybe it’s just ordinary.”
“I know you don’t believe that,” Hermione replied. “Especially since you were once head over heals for a certain best friend of mine.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Do we have to always bring him up? I was not…in love with Harry. I barely knew him.”
“And what does that have to do with anything? Everyone is guilty of falling in love with a person they barely know, or never met. Sometimes you can just look at someone and know… you need them in your life.”
Ginny shook her head quickly. “How did this conversation suddenly switch to Harry?”
“Ginny, this conversation didn’t switch to anything. This was never a question of whether or not you belong with Dean, it’s whether or not you’ve stopped loving Harry.”
“I do not love him!”
“Listen to yourself. The reason that your feelings for Dean were short lived was because your heart was never truly in it. Harry may be stubborn and daft, and he may not be the best-looking bloke in the school, but really, Ginny, would you settle for anything less? You’ve never agreed with societies idea of perfect.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ginny replied dismissively.
“Well fine, you can go on denying it forever, but it won’t make your relationship with Dean any better. I know you enjoy the growing friendship between you and Harry immensely.”
“Well, of course I do, Hermione. But that’s all that it is, friendship. Nothing more.”
“For Merlin’s sake, you’re even dafter than Ron! Don’t you see the way Harry looks at you?”
Ginny contorted her face in confusion. What was she on about?
“He-likes-you-Ginny.”
Biting her lip was all she could do to keep from laughing. “Hermione, I think you ate something rotten at lunch today that made you go all nutty. You’ve really gone over the edge with this one. Harry does not like me. He’s barely spoken to me in the past couple of months. And whenever he does, he talks to me the same way he has since I first met him. Okay, maybe he talks to me a little more than he used to,” she said, noticing the look on Hermione’s face. “But that’s only because we play quidditch together.”
“I know Harry. He’s only liked one other girl in this school and that was Cho. I could tell immediately that he had feelings for her. And while I do admit that he hides his feelings for you better than he did before, he is still human. I still see him glancing angrily at you and Dean in the common room every couple of minutes; I can still see the sparkle in his eye whenever your name is mentioned… I still notice the blush that forms on his cheeks whenever you so much as smile at him.”
Ginny shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Was Hermione telling her the truth? Did Harry Potter really fancy her? Or more importantly… did she still fancy Harry? What was she thinking? Of course Harry didn’t like her. Oh, she really did have some nerve planting these thoughts in her mind.
“I still think you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Hermione sighed heavily. “Fine, Gin. Just think about what I said though, okay?”
Ginny didn’t so much as nod as Hermione excused herself to go up to the dormitory. She was too busy thinking about the conversation they just had, and trying to ignore the way her stomach twisted as Harry sat down on the other side of the common room.
***************************** **************************************** *********************************
It really was the last straw.
“Don’t push me, please, Dean,” she said, annoyed. “You’re always doing that. I can get through perfectly well on my own.”
What does he think I am, a child?
“I didn’t push you, Ginny,” he growled, angrily.
“Oh, I suppose some invisible force just swept passed me and shoved me to the side, then.”
“I suppose so,” he spat, taking a few strides ahead of her.
“You are so infuriating!”
“I’m infuriating?” he cried, spinning towards her. “All I ever am is nice to you, and you just throw it back in my face like it’s some kind of-of–I don’t even know. I’m so frustrated I can barely think straight.”
He was right. She did treat him poorly when he was so good to her. But she was too heated, or perhaps too stubborn to admit it.
“You treat me as if I’m a fragile child. I am capable of holding my own books and getting through doors without your help.”
“The only thing I’m guilty of is being there for you, Ginny. I listened to you when you were upset, and even though I was sick and tired of hearing about how worried you were about Harry…how scared you were…do you have any idea how annoying it is to listen to you going on and on about him? And the way he looks at us all the time… I wouldn’t be surprised if you were shagging him behind my back.”
Before she could stop herself, she smacked him clear across the face. “We’re through, Dean.”
She didn’t wait for a response before she left him alone in the common room and dashed up the stairwell. She should have been furious, but she was too relieved to be anything else. She was finally rid of Dean, and now… what now? What came after this? Was she expecting something else?
Ginny fell back on her four-poster bed, and starred at the ceiling for a long while. Her discussion with Hermione popped back into her head. “This was never a question of whether or not you belong with Dean, it’s whether or not you’ve stopped loving Harry.” She really did have some nerve. Before they had that conversation, Ginny never questioned the way she felt about Harry. Now, however, she found herself wondering why she felt relieved. Was it because she didn’t have to deal with Dean anymore? Or was it because she was hoping for Harry to finally make his move–if what Hermione said was true.
She groaned, and punched her pillow. Was she on the verge of becoming a love struck puppy, like she knew she was when she was younger? She took a moment to remember how it felt before she gave up on Harry. She remembered that whenever he came near… every feeling was multiplied. He had a way of controlling her, and although she hated to be controlled, she found that she didn’t mind with him.
She closed her eyes, and allowed herself to wonder what it would be like to belong to Harry Potter. A smile curved onto her lips, and she felt like an eleven-year-old girl again, wrapped up in the idea that love was a fairy tale. Harry Potter was not perfect, that much she knew, but for some reason she found that nobody could match up to him. The feelings he elicited inside her were unlike any that she had ever felt before. And the kiss… that kiss that she had waited her whole life to get–was his, and only his, to give her.
She had fantasized about what it would be like to kiss Harry. The passion and desperation in his movements would leave her gasping for air, and he would not stop until her final breath was gone. He would run his fingers through her hair, and his other hand would be working its way along the skin of her waist. Even the fantasy was better than any reality.
Oh, Hermione really did have some nerve.
**************************** **************************************** **********************
They won! She couldn’t believe they won. Gryffindor cheers were heard all around the common room, and in a fit of excitement she searched the room for one person.
“Great game Gin, you were brilliant,” Seamus exclaimed, stepping into her path.
She retreated a few steps. “Thank you, Seamus,” she replied, glancing over his shoulder earnestly.
Just as she was about to slip past him, he said, “I bet your brothers taught you all you know.”
She knew that it would be rude not to respond, or to just walk away when he was talking to her, but she was finding she didn’t much care at the moment. “Yeah. Would you excuse me for a moment?”
Not waiting for his response, she pushed a group of fourth years out of the way, and began a frantic search for the one person who would make this whole day perfect. She tripped over a few pairs of feet, and stumbled to avoid Dean who was not far from her view. Then she saw him. Many other people must have seen him too, because a roar of celebration erupted, and many people pulled him into the common room. She heard Ron’s happy exclamation before she grew frustrated and ran towards him. He turned at the sight of her, and she threw her arms around him.
Then the most amazing feeling swept over her body. He was kissing her. The whole room disappeared, and she realized that the only thing she knew in life was this. They made sense. They were perfect. His lips were soft and warm, wrapping themselves around hers, and telling her that this was where he was supposed to be. Although she had hoped that the first kiss they shared would be private, she had never felt so alone with him in her entire life. When the kiss ended, the room was quiet, and everybody was staring at the two of them in awe. She saw Dean out of the corner of her eye holding a shattered glass in his hand. Oh, how embarrassing.
Harry took her hand in his, and she glanced at him as he motioned toward the portrait hole. She would be having quite the discussion with Mr. Potter.
Silence. For many long minutes… they walked in silence. Was he expecting her to say something? Oh, the nerve of him to kiss her like that in front of Dean!
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
She looked up at him, and saw his cheeks redden. “I know,” he said.
“I mean everyone was in the room. Dean was there. We just broke up, Harry.”
“I know,” he growled.
She stopped in the middle of the hallway. “Then why did you do it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just–I wasn’t thinking.”
“That much was evident.”
“You scare me to death.”
“You–excuse me?”
He sighed. “Ginny, I’ve wanted to do that for so long. But I just–I don’t know… I was scared that I was too late. And you are pretty popular with the guys these days. I guess I just didn’t want to lose my chance.”
“So that’s the reason you kissed me? So that everyone would see us kissing. So that nobody else would try to make a move on me?”
“No… yes…no, it’s not like that. I can’t think straight.”
“Harry, do you like me?”
He averted his eyes away for a moment, and then with a red face, and sparkling eyes, he looked at her. He opened his mouth to respond, and although she already knew his answer, she needed to hear him say it. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice shaking.
She wanted to be angry with him, but the way he was looking at her made her feel so incredibly beautiful. Never in a million years would she have thought she’d be standing here having this conversation with Harry. Never did she think that she would be the one to make the decision. And never did she think she could long for someone’s lips as much as she longed for Harry’s at this moment.
He cleared his throat nervously, and looked away from her. “Do you like me?”
She couldn’t help but smile at the question. He was the most adorable boy in the entire world. She didn’t look at him for a moment, and taking his hand, she said, “Harry, I never stopped.”
She was afraid to look at him. She knew that she had put herself in the most vulnerable spot possible. She had totally flipped the situation so he was on top, looking down at her–and she had no idea what he was thinking. Determined not to lose the last bit of upper hand she had left, she angled her face up to his, and kissed him softly on the corner of his mouth. His hand held her face in place, and he turned the slightest bit so their lips touched. She sighed against his mouth, and she felt him hesitate for a moment. She turned her head to the right more, and brushed her lips against his slowly. Taking the initiative, he pulled her to him, and strengthened his kiss. There was the desperation she had always dreamed about. It wasn’t long before their lips and tongues were meeting in a fluent dance and his hand was playing with the hem of her t-shirt. When they pulled back, she placed her forehead onto his chest, and smiled at the quickness of his heartbeat.
“Ginny?”
She looked up at him and felt her heart expand. Was this really happening? Merlin, this must be a dream.
“I’m not sorry that I kissed you in front of everyone,” he whispered.
She giggled. “Neither am I, Harry. Everyone already knows that we belong together. It just took us a little longer to figure out.”
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The tears came with no extra effort as Ginny sat with her head bowed between Harry’s arms. She had not looked at him throughout the entire ceremony, for if there was any hint of sadness in his features she knew she would crumble to the ground. It was not fair that the only father figure left in Harry’s life was once again taken without remorse. Her heart ached for him. She wished that she could bare some of his pain for however long a time it took to build a semi-comfortable lifestyle. Perhaps he could be normal for a while, and live with even the illusion of peace. People all around began to stand up as the ceremony drew to a close. She stole at look at Harry, seeing sadness in his eyes that had no relation to Dumbledore, but to the inevitable conversation about to take place. She braced herself for what he was going to say.
“Ginny, listen…” he practically whispered. “I can’t be involved with you anymore. We’ve got to stop seeing each other. We can’t be together.”
Forcing a smile, she asked, “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?”
“It’s been like…like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you. But I can’t… we can’t…I’ve got things to do alone now.”
She just looked at him, understanding perfectly, yet finding it difficult to speak at the moment.
“Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to,” he continued. “He’s already used you as bait once, and that was just because you’re my best friend’s sister. Think how much danger we’ll be in if we keep this up. He’ll know, he’ll find out. He’ll try and get to me through you.”
“What if I don’t care?” she replied, hotly.
“I care,” he said. “How do you think I’d feel if this was your funeral… and it was my fault…”
Unable to look at him any longer, she averted her eyes over to the lake. Then, mustering up all the courage she attained, she said, “I never really gave up you. Not really. I always hoped… Hermione told me to get on with my life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the same room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more–myself.”
“Smart girl, that Hermione,” Harry said. She could feel that he was struggling to find words. “I just wish I’d asked you sooner. We could’ve had ages…months…years, maybe…”
“But you’ve been too busy saving the wizarding world,” she said, half laughing. “Well… I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much,” she said, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.
She could see Harry’s face tighten, and behind his eyes she saw longing and desperation. It took a great amount of discipline on her part not to grab his hand as he got up to leave. Watching him walk away was harder than taking part in that last conversation. She quickly stood, and with small nods of acknowledgement and sympathy to people she knew, she scurried away just in time to let the tears fall from her eyes.
******************************* **************************************** ****************************
She spent most of the evening in her bedroom, starring up at the cracks of her ceiling, avoiding all the people downstairs. There was so much happiness surrounding the area, she felt it was a good idea not to dampen it with her bad mood. Harry was there. And for the hundredth time in the past couple of weeks she had buried her head in her pillow as she cried. She didn’t cry because their relationship had ended, she cried because she was afraid. Afraid that she may never see Harry again, or get the chance to tell him… she took a deep breath. She couldn’t be selfish. He had enough on his shoulders without hearing her declaration of…
“Ginny?”
Hermione.
“Yes?”
“May I come in?”
Sighing, Ginny sat up. “Yes.”
The door opened, and Hermione entered. “You’ve been up here all day. What’s wrong?”
Ginny gave her a ‘what do you think’ look, and Hermione smiled nervously. “Oh, right. Sorry.”
Silence hovered in the air for a while, before Hermione said, “You look beautiful, Gin. You did a wonderful job in the ceremony.”
Ginny wanted to roll her eyes, but instead she nodded and said, “Thanks.”
Hermione let out a huff of frustration. “Would you at least talk to me?”
“About what?” she asked equally as frustrated.
“About why you’ve been hiding in your room the whole day. Ginny, this may be the last time you see him… and you’re running scared.”
“Running scared? Hermione, I’m doing him a favor. Now he doesn’t have to deal with an extra goodbye. We’ve said what we need to say.”
“Have you?” Hermione asked knowingly. “Have you REALLY said all you need to say?”
Ginny looked away from her, and glared at nothing in particular. “I’m not going to say that–“
“Ginny!”
“Hermione, it’s better that I don’t. I’m just going to make it harder on him. I can’t be selfish–“
“Why the bloody hell not?” she asked. Ginny looked over at her. “When it comes to love Ginny, there’s no other way to be. Call it selfish, but you need to tell him. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”
Ginny looked down at her hands. “Maybe…”
“No,” Hermione said, her voice dripping with the tears falling from her eyes. “You will.”
She quickly looked up at her, her own tears threatening to push through her bloodshot eyes.
“You have to tell him, Ginny. You may never get another chance.”
At her last words, Ginny began to sob. Hermione came to her side and pulled her close. They spent a few long moments wrapped in each other, both dreaded the hours of tomorrow. Somehow Ginny pulled herself together, and began frantically wiping her sadness from her eyes. Hermione and she sat on her bed in complete silence, and Ginny felt that she never understood her better than she did in that one moment. .
A knock on the door made her heart jump, and when she looked up to see Harry standing in her doorway her whole body became jelly. Hermione stood from the edge of her bed. “I should probably be getting back downstairs.”
Harry shook his head. “No, I’ll leave. You guys were talking…”
“No,” Hermione said, shaking her head. “We were done.”
Harry smiled as she passed to go to the door. “Bye, Gin.”
At her leaving, Ginny had never felt so lost in her entire life. She didn’t know where to start, or even if she wanted to. All she could do was stare at him. And all he could do was stare back. Moments passed, and finally she looked away.
“I didn’t get a chance to talk to you today,” he said, his voice shaking. “I thought–“
She looked up, and he stopped talking, his cheeks reddening. “I–I thought I’d come up to–talk–talk to you…”
She bit her lip to keep from crying, and just nodded.
“How have you been?”
She smiled at this. “You always were one of those…”
“One of what?”
“One of the few who asked me that, and actually wanted to hear the answer.”
“Of course I want to know,” he whispered.
She nodded. “I’ve been as good as expected,” she said.
He closed his eyes. “Gin, I need you to be all right.”
“You need?” she asked, confused.
He refused to look at her. “Tell me that you’re going to be all right, please. I need to hear that you’ll be all right.”
“I can’t tell you that, Harry…”
“Please, Ginny…”
“Harry,” she whispered, desperately. “I can’t lie to you.”
He shook his head, fighting back his own tears. “I don’t want to leave you when you’re like this. I want you to be happy… I need you to be happy. I can’t have you wasting your time worrying about me. You need to find happiness.”
“Harry you can’t ask that of me…”
“I’m not asking you, Ginny,” he said, finally looking at her.
The normal, strong features of Harry’s face had disappeared. He was tired, and he was drained. He would not fight with her this time. Tears began to fall down her pale cheeks no matter how hard she tried to hold them back for his sake. “I can’t, Harry, I can’t…”
“Ginny, I don’t want you to fall apart at the seams. I need you to be all right, even if I’m not.”
“Harry, don’t…”
“You need to be happy… for both of our sakes.”
“But I–I can’t–“
“Ginny, I came up here to say goodbye.”
“No,” she said shaking her head. “No, this isn’t happening…”
“Yes, Ginny. It has to happen…”
“No, you’re too young. You’re too perfect. You-you can’t do this. You can’t leave…me,” she sobbed.
“I have to.”
She looked up at him, and he brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth. Then he turned and walked towards the door… the same way he did at Dumbledore’s funeral. She wasn’t going to let him go this time. She couldn’t…
“Harry!” she cried.
He faced her.
“I love you,” she said, just above a whisper.
He didn’t move. He just stared at her, allowing the words to enter him fully. He didn’t dismiss them… he let them to take over the atmosphere.
“I love you,” she said, running to him and throwing her arms around him.
He pulled her tightly against him, not saying anything. Then he pulled back and tilted her face up to his, and kissed her. He kissed her with all the fiber of his being, and then pulled back, and ran his finger down the side of her face.
“You already know what comes next,” he whispered.
She smiled widely, and he smiled in return.
Then with a final squeeze of her hand, he turned to leave. She squeezed his hand to keep him from moving, and he turned back to look at her.
“Come back to me.”
He stared at her for a moment, then with a nod, he said, “We’ll have ages… months… years…”
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