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Crush Me
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Category: Post-HBP
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Fluff, Songfic
Warnings: Sexual Situations
Story is Complete
Rating: R
Reviews: 22
Summary: On a night spent with Ginny a few days past fulfilling the prophecy, Harry realizes that some things are worth saying and others are worth waiting for. Harry POV.
Hitcount: Story Total: 11412



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
A/N
Truthfully, I feel like I 'm sort of selling out by writing and then going so far as to post a song fic, since I normally don't like them very much. I mean there are good ones out there...but...alright, I had to write this. I couldn’t help it this time, I had to succumb to the song-fic once and for all!

See, I get a lot of my inspiration from the music of Dave Matthews . I'm not sure if there are other fans out there in the HP universe…his music is a muse of mine and besides that, he is my all time favorite artist, and I am an ardent music lover so that’s saying a lot.

Recently, I received a bunch of my CD's back that I had lent to my lazy brother over the holidays last year (Before I got my beloved I pod) and I was rocking out to the album "Before these Crowded Streets" circa 1998, the year I was 18 and began college.

The song "crush" inspired me and two hours later I produced this story. It's not a slow song although it is a love song, and it is a very, very beautiful song to me. I had to change a few of the lyrics to fit with HP. By the way, THIS ONE-SHOT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH MY CHAPTERED STORY RTHLTD. YOU CAN SAY THAT ITS PRETTY MUCH AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! But on the other hand, I think that this sort of fits in with canon in some ways. BE WARNED! It's pretty fluffy. The R rating is out of caution. In all, I have to admit, it was kind of nice to step away from my "big" story even if it was just for a very brief moment.

I've never written anything like this before so keep that in mind. Be kind please! Thanks in advance for reviewing! And if you've never listened to or heard The Dave Matthews Band before, it's worth checking them out! Happy reading!
-Rebecca




ChapterPrinter


Crush Me


Crazy how it feels tonight
Crazy how you make it all alright love


He still couldn't believe he was home, that he was here. It was crazy, like a dream.

Feeling lightheaded, Harry focused on the soft warm hand on his own, and the small fingers tracing the scars on the back of his hand.

It had been a few short days since he had been home, since Voldemort had been finished. He was alive and so were his friends. and tonight had been special, truly a gift. Sitting in the yard, amidst fairy lights, listening to the wireless radio the girls sipping on elf made wine and him and Ron imbibing on Charlie's fire whiskey which tasted awful but made him forget about everything, at least for a small time.

As difficult as it had been, Harry had been trying to push the events of past week out of his mind. He had more important things to focus on now. Like a certain red headed girl before him.

Like a magic between them that he couldn't believe still existed after all the time that had passed, after everything that had occurred. Yet, here she was, leaning against his legs as she had grown accustomed to doing back in the days when she had been his back at Hogwarts.

It had been almost a nonstop celebration since their arrival, food and feasts and visitors, but tonight was the first night they had actually been able to get away be alone just the four of them. And the first night he had Ginny's full attention since the night he had come back.

Now, the late night had turned to the wee morning hours, and Harry was hanging on to the minutes he could spend near Ginny and his friends before it was time to go and find their warm beds.

Harry looked over at Hermione and Ron, who were discussing the artist whose song was floating from the wireless, violins and harmonicas and as the music surrounded him, he thought about how lucky they had been. Every one of them was whole and everything, everything was over now.

Harry felt those fingers crawling up his arm tracing circles on his skin and then reaching for his hands again, opening and closing his fingers, joining them with her own. Each touch left him burning and made his stomach turn in nervous knots. Harry opened his eyes and as he did, he glimpsed her tucking her hair behind her ears. He grinned. She seemed to catch his glance from the side and he noticed that she looked happy too. There was nothing between them but a glance and then it was over, but it sent his heart soaring and made him ache to be closer to her. But how?

Crush me with the things you do
And I do for you anything too
Sitting smoking feeling high
And in this moment it feels so right


Ron lit a cigarette to both of the girls protest. Smoke lifted up in strings of white and Harry watched them twirl and then dissipate into thin air. His friend had picked up the habit on the Horcrux missions and Hermione and Mrs. Weasley were having an awful time trying to get him to quit. Hermione even went so far as to cast a spell that disengaged her sense of smell.

But it didn't bother Harry, he was feeling too dizzy to care, he wasn't used to the effect that the drink had on his mind, and besides, he had the weight of the girl he loved against him and the only smell he could focus on was hers. It was filling up his mind, and forcing him to think thoughts that were making him more uncomfortable every moment, with her brother sitting at an arms distance. But it didn't matter, he couldn't help it, that was just the effect that her nearness had on him, and he closed his eyes.

Lovely lady
I am at your feet
God I want you so badly


"Harry,"

Her voice jerked him back to reality.

"Harry, you have the goofiest look on your face," She giggled, "Look at him Hermione!"

He was sure he blushed hot pink and was glad that there was little light in the area surrounding them to show it. Still, he felt slightly embarrassed and sheepishly nuzzled his face into her hair to hide the color and heat that was steadily rising up his face.

Harry had to thank goodness that neither she, nor any one of his friends was a legilimens. However, what was so wrong with what he was feeling? Now that he was able to allow himself those thoughts, after all the months and months that he had to push them out of his mind for her safety, why would he want to stop. He couldn't if he tried, although he supposed that he could make an effort to look less lovestruck. Harry sighed as he became lost in her lovely red hair.

"Oh, Harry" Ginny turned to him and giggled, "What are you doing? You are so ridiculous sometimes."

"Ridiculous? Am I?" She nodded, but before she could turn around he had reached out quickly to tickle her stomach. "I am not ridiculous."

Ginny shrieked as Hermione groaned and he heard a 'not again' come from Ron. As his hands found the soft, skin of her stomach he relentlessly pinned her and the feeling left him even more woozy. Sure, he had done this before, in the past few days, whenever she looked vulnerable. Tickling was an appropriate way that he could touch her which of course, he longed to do at every moment, plus listening to her squeal was the most adorable sound.

Ginny tried to release herself from his grasp and found a way to get back at him, but she was at a loss, for she still couldn't do magic outside of school. Not yet, at least. By the time they called a truce she was so out of breath that she closed her eyes to rest. That was when he realized that he was almost on top of her.

This was new, and he didn't want to move. He just lay there frozen, watching the curve of her nose, the freckles on her cheeks and her long eyelashes. He vaguely heard an 'oi! you two!' coming from Ron but he ignored it for he was thinking of how he could possibly get rid of those two and get her alone. O.K, he could do this. He had defeated the darkest most evil wizard in history, how hard could this possibly be?

She lay there still, eyes closed, and there was nothing so beautiful in the world. He felt so compelled to kiss her senseless but he couldn't do that now, not with Ron and Hermione there…

And I wonder this..
Could tomorrow be
So wondrous as you there sleeping


Then an idea popped into his head and out of his mouth before he could think any thoughts against it. "Ginny?"

"Yes?" She opened her bright brown eyes and grinned mischievously.

"Want to go fly with me?"

"Sure, I'll race you to the shed," She was up and ahead of him before he could even blink.

Hermione called out that they were asking for trouble, but the moment was there, and he ran after her. Before Harry knew it, they were in the sky and she was flying by his side. She took a sharp turn and he followed her towards the paddock. When he found himself parallel to her broom, he reached out and touched the small of her back. In an instant, she turned her head, smiled devilishly, looked forward, and zoomed past him.

Harry then decided that he didn't want a chase, he wanted a show. Sitting back and watching her hair fly behind her as she dipped down and then flew around the paddock, he felt happier and more free than he had ever remembered feeling, just hovering and watching her soar.

Let's go fly 'till morning comes
And watch the sunrise and fill our souls up


Harry wished they could fly until the sun came up, watch it rise from above as he had so many times in the past year, when he had ignored it out of sheer exhaustion. Now, he would be able to appreciate it. With her, it would be something beautiful.

But they shouldn't stay out that long, he knew. They shouldn’t even be out there, and suddenly, Harry felt nervous. It was the dead middle of the night and they had been drinking earlier, they probably shouldn't have even been flying out of safety concerns. Yet it had seemed like a good excuse and it was his only shot. He hadn't been alone with her like this yet.

Although he had hoped desperatly for two days to get the chance to have her to himself, maybe flying wasn't such a good idea after all now that they were up there. Besides, if Ginny was anything like she used to be, getting her down off that broom would most likely be a harder task then he should have anticipated.

She was a natural. He kept her in his sights as he ascended slowly and steadily to a point where he could get a good angle on her form and as he watched, thoughts of the past few days swam through his mind.

He couldn't believe how she had waited for him through everything.

Last year, at the funeral, he had been relieved that she had taken him breaking it off with her as gracefully as she had. It was the best reaction he could have imagined for Ginny who was known to have a temper to rival an angry Horntail.

He had half expected her to confront him when he arrived back at the Burrow with Ron and Hermione last August but she hadn't. It had been uncomfortable but they had managed to remain somewhat normal in each other's presence for the first two days. It was at the wedding that he realized that she was stronger than him. It had been he who had finally lost his resolve before a red headed goddess clad in gold, and asked for that one uncomfortable dance. It had been he who had gone to her in the dark early morning he was to leave and held her in his arms.

When he had gone, he vowed to keep his resolve from that point forward. He vowed to be a stronger person.

That was to prove entirely more difficult than he had initially thought. Ginny had gone at the first mention of the school reopening, and he worked on pushing her and pushing her out of his mind. Then, the disastrous episode of the Hogwarts Express had caused them an unplanned visit to school. He had seen her, but made sure she hadn't seen him. As much as he wanted to go to her, and hold her and tell her that everything would be alright, the best he could do was leave her an note that repeated everything he had already told her. That this was for the best.

Then she wrote him. As much as he had mulled over whether or not to do it, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by not writing back so he did. Twice. But then he decided it was too risky and stopped. Again, she left his thoughts for a time and took her place in the depths of his mind where no one who wasn't looking very very hard would venture to go.

Then they visited Hogwarts again. And again. It wasn't like the three of them had stayed away from school entirely. They were there quite often actually, for research purposes, to search the school, for clues. It was there that he wanted to pull out his hair by the roots, anything to not think of her. But it was horrible. Everything remotely red or orange or pink reminded him of her. Every school bell made him wonder what class she was off to. As many times as they had been at school, however, they had only let Ginny know three times. Twice because Hermione was having kittens over seeing her and Ron thought it was the right thing to do.

Each time he saw her was painful. Of course, she handled it much better than him, remained helpful, spoke to him as a friend and an ally, but he could hardly look at her because it made him feel worse.

Harry found it much easier when they were off hunting. It was there that he could focus. It was in the most dire of situations that he was best at centering all of his attention on other things. Horcruxes, destroying Horcruxes, staying alive….the list went on and on.

Then came the last time they were at Hogwarts. They were there on rough business, mostly because they needed her. For research which he still believed if not for her having done it, he would not be alive tonight. But he had also needed her for another reason of which he had no idea until he was there. To let him know that he wasn't alone, that she was still there behind him, that she would always be no matter what.

Since that night, he had thought only of the end, focusing with all his energy. He could smell it, he could sense it, he knew it was getting closer with every step. And then, it had happened.

The end had finally come. When it had, thoughts of Ginny had suddenly flooded his mind and it was all he could do to get back to her. Then came the happiest moment of his life, three nights past, the night he arrived back to the Burrow with Ron and Hermione. Dirty, torn and wide eyed. Electrified. Alive. Not only had he done it, had he survived, but to everybody's feigned surprise, his happiest daydream came true. As she had in the common room that day over a year past, Ginny had run towards him, blazing, thrown herself in his arms, kissed his face and buried her face his neck. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she whispered to him how she had faith in him all along, that she knew he would live and come back to her. He pulled her against him and rocked her, stroked her hair and told her that he wasn't leaving her anymore. That he was finally home.

He was home. The battles were over and she was safe. And to his relief, and after a long conversation, and a lot more tears and confessions, she made it blatantly clear that she wanted nothing more than to pick up where they had left off.

And he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more. Now, things were so different. They were getting better every moment, he couldn’t believe where he had been just as week ago He had a different life now, he was in a different place in time, he was with Ginny again and he couldn't help but smiling every chance he got. Things would be different now, normal, as the had not been in a long time. He knew they would never be truly normal because he would never be truly ordinary….but now he hoped there would be some semblance of normalcy to his existance.

Had he been so lost in through that he had let her drop out of his sight? It was dark and since he was pretty high up, Harry couldn’t see much of what was below. His heart dropped, and he worried, that she had fallen. He berated himself for being so stupid, he shouldn't have asked her to go flying, it wasn't safe. Frantically, he zoomed lower and did a three sixty survey of the paddock.

"GINNY!" He yelled nervously as he went. "GINNY?" He stopped to inspect the ground below, fearing the very worst.

Just then, he felt a tickle behind his ear and then sharply turned around. She was hovering behind him, arms crossed over her chest, looking at him innocently.

"How in the!?! Ginny!?!" He asked bewildered.

She giggled and then shot forward and he followed her as she floated down to the soft grass of the paddock. They were barely off their brooms before he reached for her waist and pulled her down to the ground, so relieved that she was safe that he was hardly thinking and as their mouths melted together, he felt like there was nothing else that mattered in the entire world.

The world was as it had always been, yet now everything was different because it was secure and there was no more war. And everything seemed more beautiful with Ginny there. The fairy lights twinkled in the distance sending rays of dim light in their direction. He could hear the music from the wireless float through the air. The paddock looked like less like grass and more like a carpet of soft green. And even though it was the same old place he had flown with Ron in the summer before his second year, in the summer he had spent there his fifth year, it was something so much more alive beneath him, with Ginny's tongue dancing against his.

It's crazy I'm thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
And here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
And is this real or am I dreaming


Was this real? After all, this was what he had dreamt of in the past year.

Getting to hold her again, to find the piece of happiness that he thought belonged only to others and not himself. The happiness that he had pushed aside, and considered lost. And although he tried to be friendly in her presence, he had missed her desperately for one long year.

He knew now that he had made the right choice. To keep her safe he had to let her go. Even if he had thought her lost to him forever.

Yet, she hadn't been lost. She hadn't given up on him, and he guessed that she never had. She had waited for him. She had forgiven him for turning away, she understood his intentions and although she hadn't liked it, she had gone along. For him.

What had he done to deserve her? She was the most special girl, a once in a lifetime girl, a dream girl, and even now he knew that she was everything he could ever want.

These thoughts exploded in his mind as, she lay under him, her hands in his hair. Harry felt giddy and nervous as he allowed his hands to dance down her sides, to her hips, and then to her stomach. As his fingers found their way under her blouse, he let out a half sigh, half moan, as his lips crushed against hers.


Lovely lady
Let me drink you please
Won't spill a drop, no, I promise you


He wouldn't let her down, he would never hurt her again. He swore to himself a long time ago that he would never hurt her. But he had, when he had pushed her away. And now he knew that he had a lot to prove to her, but he was up for the challenge.

Lying under this spell you cast on me
Each moment
The more I love you



Around her, he felt as if he had been put under an enchantment. She mesmerized him. Each joke she cracked in the past few days, each time she teased and prodded him, how she tossed her hair over her shoulder, how she looked at him with warmth and pride.

All of tonight, and since he had been home, he had no doubt in his mind that he loved her. He had never known love. Sure his friends loved him, Sirius had cared for him, the Weasley's cared about him too. But he had never known love. Not like this. This love was overwhelming and enveloped him every moment. This love filled in all of his empty parts and rendered him complete.

Now, with her mouth against his, thoughts of loving her made him want desperatly to show her how much. Her body against his made him feel alive, more alive and more anxious than he had ever felt. His heart was beating so fast, that he worried she would feel it but then he felt her heart fluttering under him too. He wondered if she loved him the same way…he thought, perhaps…but the feeling of her tounge on his lips forced his arms to hold her closer
and his mind to focus on her kiss.

Crush me
Come on, crush me
Is this real or am I dreaming?


Should he tell her? He stopped kissing her mouth and made a trail of kisses down her neck as she curved her head back and let him. Finally, he reached her lips again and she arched against him to take his kisses as he held her tightly around the waist, as their bodies crushed together, he forgot himself for another moment.

Lovely lady
I will treat you sweetly
Adore you I mean you crush me


August was hot, even in the middle of the night, and he could feel her hair line was moist, soft sticky strands of crimson were glued to her face. So, Harry brushed the fringe out of her eyes and held her face in his hand as his other hand encircled her waist. She felt so good, she was so lovely, it was unbelievable.

And it's times like these
When my faith I feel
And I know how I love you


Although he had reached the bottom once, he had found his way out. Now he knew that there was bliss after all the pain and sorrow. It was like a wondrous miracle.

Having Ginny back gave him a renewed hope for his new life to be, where there was happiness in his future, and love. And her. Everything would be brilliant just so long as he could have her and protect her and give her his love. He couldn't stand to keep it inside any longer and he pulled away from her mouth hesitantly.

"Ginny?" He said shakily through ragged breaths.

"Yes," she said breathlessly.

"I love you," He watched her blink back her surprise and then cool her expression. He didn't quite understand why but he continued. " I don't want to keep that from you anymore, I do, I love you and I used to think it, but I never told you and I've never been more sure of it than now."

They locked eyes and for awhile she said nothing, as his heart pounded inside of him, in that moment between complete happiness and bone crushing disappointment. But, instead of crying, which he figured that most girls would do in the same situation, or saying it back, she smiled coyly, rolled her eyes and confidently said two words.

"I know."

"You know? How do you know?" He was intrigued.

"Because of the way you kiss me. You know, the way you look at me, Harry, I know you love me and you know, without me having to have ever said anything, that I love you too." She closed her eyes and grinned, "Now kiss me again, like you love me, Harry Potter."

He reached his hands gently behind her neck and pulled her towards him, hard against his mouth and, more passionate than he ever had. He felt his body jump ahead of him. He wanted her, he wanted her so badly, he didn't even know that he could feel the way that he did. His lips were crushing hers, his hands couldn’t seem to stay in one place and the twisting and tossing left him helpless.

Come on, Come on
Baby


"Harry…" she managed to whisper breathlessly, "It would be alright. I think it would be fine if we…"

He slowed his kisses for a moment, thought about it, and glanced around. It was a beautiful night, it was a beautiful moment, it felt so right. But as much as he wanted to, as hard as it was to think it, it wasn't the right time, it wasn't. When that happened, well it would be amazing and right. Perhaps after he made it official that he would be with her the rest of his life, perhaps when they married. Right now was not that day and as hard as it for him, as much as he wanted that, he forced himself to say no.

"Gin, it wouldn’t be right. You deserve better,"

"But I want to…it is right."

"I know it is. I want to as well…more than you know but… we'll have plenty of time for that, we have the rest of our lives, don't we?"

"How noble of you." she released herself from his embrace, lay back disappointed, and sighed deeply out of frustration, but he knew it was the right decision and that she would thank him for it later. He respected her, he cared about her, he wanted more for her.

She looked up to the sky and stretched her arms above her head before she spoke again. "The rest of our lives? Are you suggesting that we marry, Harry Potter? You know that I'm only sixteen right?"

"Well," He swallowed, "You are for the next five days at least. I know we're young but I also know that I love you, and that won't ever change. So I think…well…if you think, that one day…in the future…"

"I think it's crazy,"

Harry turned his face away, wondering what she meant by that, feeling foolish that he had even brought it up.

"No…no…" she sat up and moved in front of him, grabbing his hands in hers. "Harry, not bad crazy! It's crazy because its happening. I…I always imagined how I would feel when you said that to me and now, you've said it. And it's crazy."

"And does it feel the way that you imagined it?"

She stared seriously into his eyes, "It feels even better,"

"So you want to marry me someday?" He muttered shyly.

"Silly! You know that there's nothing else I would ever want more than that. Harry."

He smiled as she pressed her lips against his. As she did, he fell backwards and she landed on top of him, her kisses became faster and as her body crushed against his, Harry realized, that even though they were going to save that single greatest act of love for a more appropriate night, when it did happen it would be the most wonderful thing, it would be worth waiting for. But now, he could show her how much he loved her in other ways, if she helped him and showed him the way.

It's crazy I'm thinking
just as long as you're around
And here I'll be dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down


As he held her there, the world closed in around them, it stopped, and there under the stars, nothing else mattered. He was with her. He knew that as long as she was by his side, everything would be alright. There would be nothing to fret over, and nothing to worry about anymore. It would be a new life.

She would be his, after all. After everything they had been through, after all the pain, they deserved love, they deserved this. After nearly losing his own sanity, his two best friends and his own life. After losing each other. After losing and losing for so long, they finally had what they wanted.

There were no more demons to face, there was no more pain to face. Now, all that they had to face was a happy future, together.

To each other we'll be facing
My love
By love
We'll beat back the pain we've found


There had been so much pain, but now there was light. And hope. And the most perfect girl in the world who loved him and wanted to be with him.

You know
I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking deep inside
My friend
Each moment the more I love you



She was perfect, funny and bright and caring. She didn't just like him for what he was…she liked him for who he was. And he knew he was bad with girls, and he couldn’t understand them but he knew that if he tried, he could learn to understand her. He wanted to understand her, to know her better, to unfold her because each piece he found of her made it's way into his heart, a heart that was already swelling with so much love for her at every single moment.

As he kissed her and touched her he thought of how she deserved to know him too. He wanted to give himself to her completely, to tell her the whole lot, to share everything of his past. Although he knew that it would be difficult, he wanted her to know him, to know of his life and all that he had kept from her. He had to tell her.

Harry pulled away from her embrace for a moment lost in the seriousness of what he was about to reveal, "Ginny, you know, I have so much I want to say to you now, I want to tell you everything, all I've seen and I…I want to tell you everything I've never told you about me."

"Oh Harry, not now! Quit getting all verbose and just kiss me please," She closed her eyes and waited patiently for a kiss but instead of submitting to her request, he sat up confused.

Maybe she didn't want to know after all. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.

Ginny sat up too and he guessed that she saw his disappointment because she reached up to stroke his face.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I do want to hear it. All of it, but there's loads of time for talking. Just think though, do you know the next time we're going to be able get away from mum or those two to go off and snog like this again?"

"Tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah, right!"

"Ginny," He grinned, "you are the most perfect girl in the entire world."

She smiled and sighed. "It took you six whole years to realize that, you know,"

"I’m sorry,"

"Well make up for it then!" she ordered.

Once again his lips fell on hers but more gently this time. He never wanted the night to end, he never wanted it to stop and he held tight, and pulled her close, knowing that his jaw would hurt in the morning, that their lips might be bruised and swollen, but neither of them seemed to care as their kisses deepend again.

Crush me
Come on
Baby


As he held her, he couldn't help but think that here with him, was the rest of his life. He thought about how she had waited, all that she had done to help them, how she had cared about him through the worst of the war. All that he owed her for, all he wanted to give to her. How all he wanted to do was just love her, love her and hold her until the end of his days, and never let her go. If she would let him.

So much you have given love
That I would give you back again and again
Oh my love
Meaning, I'll hold you
But please, please let me always


Soon, the night was broken by the faint light of the next day peeking over the top of the orchard. And they knew without speaking that it was time to leave the moment behind. Hand in hand, they walked the length of the paddock and over the hill, and back to the broom shed. Ron and Hermione were nowhere to be found, they must have gone to bed some time ago and he was grateful that they hadn't blown the whistle and had allowed him and Ginny to have their first moment alone.

They stopped at the porch door, shared one more kiss until the morning, one more I love you and went to separate beds to dream of each other, of all that was yet to come, and of the future.
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