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Reviewer: HopelessRomantic Signed Date: 2008.11.19 - 11:07AM Title: Chapter 6 - Conclusion
First I want to say how much I love this fic. Second, some criticism: Lily dosen't act like she is 9, more like 5. You don't take naps when you are 9. and you are probably able to pronounce Hermione, atleast I was..... Don't know about others... But apart from that, I love this fic.
Love
HopelessRomantic
Note:
My english aren't that good, my apologizes. I'm Swedish....
Reviewer: knightsbridge Signed Date: 2007.04.18 - 05:07AM Title: Chapter 6 - Conclusion
Well done
Darian
Reviewer: Kezzabear Signed Date: 2007.04.17 - 06:52PM Title: Chapter 6 - Conclusion
"she was biting her lips and trying not to scream … but sometimes couldn’t help doing so, despite the painkilling potion and episiotomy"
An episiotomy is a cut to the pereniem, defintley not a pain killer it really needs a beta reader - and if you are going to write labout scenes, one who's had a baby.
I said I wasn't going to read, but I couldn't help skimming it. i found it too simplistic and OOC.
