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SIYE Time:13:58 on 18th May 2021


Reviewer: beryl Signed Date: 2011.06.06 - 02:44PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

Fantastic work. :)

Author's Response:

Thank you!

~Ken



Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2010.10.06 - 12:26PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

A wonderful story.

Thank you.

Author's Response: Thank you!

~Ken



Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2008.09.12 - 11:52PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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very nice. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks, Gene. Glad you liked it. --Ken



Reviewer: Spidey Signed Date: 2008.01.31 - 10:13PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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wow...this is amazing

i like how, to me, Fred and George remind me of tom stoppards rosencrantz and guildenstern. I always thought they reminded me of two previous characters, but i couldnt remember, now i do. the way you presented them was awesome. i love the simplicity between Harry and Ginny as well.

this was a pleasure to read. i look forward to reading anything else you've written

Author's Response: Thanks for that very kind review. I\'m sorry it\'s taken me so long to respond. ~Ken



Reviewer: RiverChild Signed Date: 2007.12.24 - 01:32PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Great story. I was somewhat distracted by the background, which changed to an alarming dark peach color as soon as I clicked on the link, but I finished it and I'm glad I did. It was a really good story and I especially loved how Arthur helped Harry with the ring. Most authors portray him as sort of 'out of it' but you didn't and I really liked that.

Author's Response: I apologize for my extreme tardiness in responding to this kind review. Thank you so much. ~Ken



Reviewer: LuvinHG Signed Date: 2007.08.04 - 11:52AM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Excellent story you have here Ken. May I call you Ken?
I love Harry and Ginny's reunion. A moment of anticipation fulfilled. Well done with that.

I love the twins in this. To me, they were very in character while out of character. Does that make sense to you. I can't imagine George and Fred playing match-maker. Especially toward Ginny since they gave her a hard time about having too many boy-friends in the 6th book. But it is Harry they want her with so I can see why they would nudge the couple closer together.

Now this business with Ron not accompanying Harry on his journey. I totally understand why Harry would choose Hermione over Ron. Probably some of the same reasons JK pulled out in DH. (reading in between the lines a bit) But let's face it, the three of them are a team and even Ron can help with the mission Harry is on. Anyway, I like your way and think you did a good job with that part.

And lastly, Harry and Ginny's ending was so beautiful. The incantation she made was very lovely. I love how detailed you are with your stories. I can honestly see it clearly in my mind. Keep it up.

Dee

Author's Response:

Hi, Dee. Certainly you may call me Ken; I hope you will. Thank you for those kind words.

This story, remember, was written for the Christmas Engagement Challenge -- one of the (silly) requirements was that Fred & George had to make at least three separate (and misguided) attempt to “help” Harry propose to Ginny. I did the best I could, but silly is still silly.

I'm so glad you liked the reunion sequence, which was the fluffiest thing I'd ever written up to that point. The business about who accompanies Harry on the hunt flowed from the conversation as it was already written: I knew that Harry was going to tell Ginny she couldn't go, I knew the reason, and I knew she was going to agree -- and then I was boxed into a logical corner, because I'd already established that Ron & Hermione were deeply in love. And I'm glad you liked the incantation -- I went to a lot of trouble to make it as romantic as I could -- contraception is so often thought of as simply a practical necessity, a nuisance, or at best, titillating -- but I wanted to show that it was all about loving without fear.

Thanks again,



Reviewer: londonxlove Signed Date: 2007.02.07 - 03:58PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

Um, I would like to say one word.



Wow.



You are an AMAZING writer. Seriously, have you ever considered writing your own novel? If not you really need to, and if you decide to please let me know. Because you should.

I really don't know what to say, because if I tried to compliment you & this story, it would be an understatement. So I'm just going to say that i LOVED it and I really really really really hope you write a sequel.

Wow.


-LxL

Author's Response: And thank you again.



Reviewer: londonxlove Signed Date: 2007.02.07 - 03:57PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Um, I would like to say one word.



Wow.



You are an AMAZING writer. Seriously, have you ever considered writing your own novel? If not you really need to, and if you decide to please let me know. Because you should.

I really don't know what to say, because if I tried to compliment you & this story, it would be an understatement. So I'm just going to say that i LOVED it and I really really really really hope you write a sequel.

Wow.


-LxL

Author's Response: Thank you very much. You are most kind. I have written other things, but a sequel to this particular story I don\'t think is in the cards for me. A novel? Wow -- maybe someday, but that seems far off.



Reviewer: Bryher Signed Date: 2007.01.24 - 06:11PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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A lovely story, thank you. I enjoyed the scene from the horcrux hunt, and the slightly misguided interventions of the twins! I wasn't so sure about the writing style with Harry as "you" but that may be because I'm a woman and find it hard to put myself in Harry's shoes!

Author's Response: Hi, Helen. Thanks! You know, I never thought about whether the gender aspect would make second-person more difficult to read. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for pointing it out! ~Ken



Reviewer: knightsbridge Signed Date: 2007.01.24 - 02:58PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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A wonderful story, except we don't know if Harry makes it.
The speach by Fred and George was unexpected and compelling, and quite true. My Mum would tell you that before my Dad went to Iraq, we did the silliest things, just to keep our spirits up. I don't think it worked, but we tried.


Author's Response: Thanks, Darian. I agree that not knowing Harry\'s fate is unsatisfying. But I felt that the quest wouldn\'t be over by the middle of 7th year. I\'m really glad you liked F & G. ~Ken



Reviewer: GINNY__POTTER258 Signed Date: 2007.01.19 - 06:10PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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great chapter! so cute poor ron and ginny though that'd would really suck... : )

Author's Response: Thanks, Jess. I feel sorry for G & R too, but that\'s just where the story led... ~Ken



Reviewer: Chreechree Signed Date: 2007.01.17 - 04:30PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Judged for competition

Finnish reindeer. Well, then, if they’re Finnish reindeer, how could we possibly say no? Ha!

Wonderful piece, Ken. You covered a lot of bases, from the potentially gory (not quite, but some might be grossed out by Harry’s extractions), to frightened yearning (Hermione’s panic in the hospital wing), to absolutely precious (H/G’s reunion). What a well done moment. I love it that she had flour on her face and the whispered words that didn’t mean anything yet meant everything. Perfect.

Fred’s line about finding “the right boyfriend” and his earnestness in that whole moment was a pleasant change. I think the twins certainly have that sort of insight and seriousness. We just haven’t gotten to see it yet. And Arthur’s astuteness was also well done.

And, of course, I love the scene at the end. Perhaps the realest moment for me was when Ginny got teary over admitting that Harry had never said he loved her. That felt so familiar, not about the I love you part but there are those moments in a relationship where you feel silly admitting that you’re hurt or bothered by something that has been left unsaid and the second you utter that aloud, you get teary and feel a bit silly for seeking affirmation for something you know to be true. I think you also know me well enough to know how I appreciated how Harry recognized how Ginny was also working out the best course of action. They were a team and recognized that there were bigger things than the two of them being together. The continued evaluation of the synchronicity of their breathing served as an excellent device. Really well done.

Oh, and the Star Trek theme is starting to rear its head. First a Betazoid, now the Borg…


Author's Response: Thanks, Christine. I\'m glad you liked the fluffy part; it\'s my first fluff ever and I worked really hard on it. The breathing metaphor came on me late in the writing -- but I almost re-named the story, \"Learning to Breathe Together\" (actually that\'s what it will be called on Phoenix Song). I was sort of concerned that I may have tried to cover too many bases, but they all seemed to fit in the story.



Reviewer: Keira Azul Signed Date: 2007.01.15 - 04:58PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

Whoops! I suppose that is the second person isn't it? It's not so often that you see it. Well, just made myself look like an idiot again. I knew this was reminding me of a choose-your-own-adventure story without the choices :) :) :).

Author's Response: I knew what you meant. :) Lots of people make that slip. Thanks again. ~Ken



Reviewer: Keira Azul Signed Date: 2007.01.15 - 04:55PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Judged for Challenge:

That was very different -- but in a very, very good way. I don't usually go for fics in the first person, but you caught me up in your telling. The serious twins were a pleasant surprise, but I don't think out of character. I especially liked your reasoning at the end - I'm asuming that the Cup was the last Horcrux, because otherwise I'm sure Ginny would have insisted on coming to help out with those. And I especially liked that you recognized that Ron and Hermione would have probably put themselves and the world in even more danger for exactly the same reasons as Harry and Ginny....Ron won't like that one bit though. Overall, fantastic job, good luck in the competition, and I hope your new year is turning out to be a fantastic one! :)

-Meg

Author's Response: Thanks, Meg. (You know, I don\'t think I knew your name before! Thanks for that, too.) I\'m glad you liked it. I don\'t know whether the Cup was the last Horcrux or not, but I think the logic of their final conversation applies to that too, since they never know when they\'ll be in combat. ~Ken



Reviewer: Jim McGuffin Signed Date: 2007.01.15 - 12:24AM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Judged for competition.

This was an interesting challenge entry. I enjoyed the bits of humor, beginning with the exchange between Harry and Arthur about how the latter knows the right time to look away, as well as Harry realization that he hasn't done anything with Ginny requiring a ring.

I know everyone else has already mentioned it, but let me be the umpteenth person to point out that this is the first time I've ever read a challenge fic written in the second person.

It's also interesting how most of the other challenge entrants wrote about Christmas, but you decided to write about New Year's Eve instead -- a rather eerie day, considering that it is also the birthday of Lord Voldemort. Kudos to checking out the star chart -- I've seen a few fanfic authors consult the moon phases and of course Sirius, the dog star, first appears during the dog days of summer and remains visible for six months, but this is the first time I've read someone actually check out where every star and constellation is on a certain date. Don't mind those 30 minutes on Saturn -- JKR certainly doesn't check even the day of the week with as much detail!

Thus, the New Year's Fireworks provides a nice backdrop to Harry's proposal. The ending is somewhat fluffy, but is also dramatic as Harry prepares to go off to battle Voldemort. This is the first time I've read a seventh-year fic where only one of Ron/Hermione goes with Harry. It's a tough choice for sure!

Overall, great job. This was definitely an original idea for an entry. I certainly wish you much luck in this challenge!

Author's Response: Thanks, Jim, for that thorough and insightful review. It makes the whole project worthwhile. Somehow it got stuck in my head that I wanted the story to be fluffy and dramatic and action-filled and funny, which is, of course, ridiculous, but I gave it the good college try. I\'m most proud of the fluff, as I\'ve never seriously tried fluff before this. As for the astronomy, well, I\'ve had a bone to pick with JKR since her three simultaneous astronomical errors in OoP. I wanted Mars to be bright so Harry could laugh at it, then was bummed when my Starry Night software told me Mars wasn\'t up that night. But one of the neat things about Sirius is that it\'s always in opposition on New Year\'s Eve, so I didn\'t even have to look that one up. Thanks again, ~Ken



Reviewer: kmagarden Signed Date: 2007.01.12 - 09:40PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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reading/reviewing for judging.

Nice story! I really enjoyed it. I liked Harry's explination of why he had to leave Ginny behind. Best I've heard. Good job.

Author's Response: Thanks, Kelly; glad you liked it. The explanation I owe mostly to ChreeChree. ~Ken



Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed Date: 2007.01.09 - 12:24AM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Judged for the challenge.

Wonderful piece of work. Touching and romantic, but also very logical thought process involved.

Best of luck in the competition!

Author's Response: Thanks, Michelle. I\'m glad you liked it. ~Ken



Reviewer: brad Signed Date: 2007.01.04 - 07:35AM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Good story! Nice bit of gritty realism mixed in, making it a solid chunk of fiction and not just lightweight fluff. You built up the case for the main proposition of the story - that both couples have to split up - very well with your descriptions of Ron and Hermione and how they handled the explosion and its aftermath, with Ron's inadequate first aid and Hermione's desperate need for him. The logic behind Harry's decision, his reasoning for them to divide, was unassailable because of that groundwork you'd put in, and is frankly the best case - certainly the most convincingly articulated - that I've read thus far in any fanfic for Ginny having to stay behind. Although you've gone further than I think we'll be seeing in the seventh book, with your reduction of the Horcrux Hunter party into two rather than leaving it comprised as the Trio.

I also appreciate how you made Ginny mature a bit in this story, from where we saw her last in HBP, with regard to both her duelling skills (although it made Harry look like a bit of a dunce; but then again, that was him to a 'T' in HBP) and also her 'thinking it out' (like another girl I know, hmmm) at the end.

Even I could work out that eventually they were going to achieve complete synchronisation in their breathing. Nice symbolism for the unity they achieve there at the end, just before they make themselves one in another more physical manner ...

Yeah, yeah, I know you want me to say it - loud cheers on who Harry is going to end up having with him on the Horcrux Hunt! That's my boy (both you, and Harry)! Working with Hermione at close quarters, fighting back to back against the evil hordes, no doubt sleeping together in primitive and desperate conditions as they stealthily conduct their search across the country ... thank you, Ken, for setting things up for a you-know-what sequel, as Harry realises both the sterling qualities of the companion by his side and the fact that he gave his ring to the wrong girl ... :-)

Nah, I only said that because I know you wanted me to, and I thought it would make you happy. I was quite convinced as to the complete authenticity and sincerity of the two couples you established here in this story, and I'm happy that they're happy, really.

Thank you for the story!

Author's Response: Hi Brad. I\'m glad you liked the story, and (as always!) I\'m delighted with the thoughtful, engaged reviews you give. It\'s gratifying to have someone take the work so seriously. I\'m also glad that you approve of the way G & H worked out that she should stay behind. For me it was important that it be a joint decision, because the engagement gives her claims (but also responsibilities) she didn\'t have before.

For about twelve hours I was going to call this piece \"Learning to Breathe Together\". Would that have been better, or was the metaphor sufficient as it was?

Thanks for giving me the stroking I wanted about the final Horcrux arrangements. :)



Reviewer: Sovran Signed Date: 2006.12.31 - 04:19PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Good story. It's interesting to see you try something both different in general and different from your usual fare. Second person is tough. You did it well enough that it didn't detract from the story, which for me is about the highest praise I can offer for that point of view. I liked the ongoing semi-metaphor of breathing. That is, in fact, the sort of thing you notice in moments like that.

I'm glad your twins worked out the way you wanted them to. Obviously, I like them that way, too.

Arthur is wonderful. I actually got a vibe of MoO-Arthur. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not, but there it is. I liked the idea of leaving Ron behind, in theory... what's good for the Primary Couple is good for the Supporting Couple also. I could raise some debate about the better choice of which of them to take, but it'd be purely theoretical. I know there's a dark little corner of your heart that likes it the way you wrote it, and that's okay. My stories are full of the influence of dark corners.

Author's Response: Thanks, Dave. Yes, I like \"our\" twins that way too. ;)

Now, Arthur -- I\'ve told you how much I admire MoO Arthur, and although I wasn\'t really thinking of him when I wrote this, I do see some similarities. What I really wanted to do was to have Arthur visibly understand what Harry is doing and actively help him in it, while embarrassing Harry as little as possible. Also, someone had to bring up the ring, and it sure wasn\'t going to be the narrative voice.

As to leaving Ron vs. leaving Hermione behind, you could actually convince me pretty easily that I did it the wrong way. I almost flipped a coin, and my reasons were largely theoretical too. But once I\'d written it, my two thoughts were (1) here\'s a chance to show how much Ginny trusts Harry, and (2) I can\'t wait to see the look on Brad\'s face!

~Ken



Reviewer: Spenser Hemmingway Signed Date: 2006.12.31 - 03:48PM Title: While You Tell Yourself the Truth

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Very nice, and a great adventure. You were able to balance the two sides, romance and the war, and still deliver a good Christmas story as well. I really enjoyed all three attempts by the twins to provide a nice setting. You described perfectly my first/last experience on the ice as well. The most memorable parts for me were the scene in the village before the finale, and especially Arthur Weasley's assistance in the Alley. I have always been of the opinion that Ginny's parents know, approve and are eagerly anticipating the theme of this Challenge. Ron and Hermione actually like each other? What a concept! Actually, out of the thousand or so stories that I have read at SIYE, I cannot remember a single one that didn't promote that ship at the same time as they did H/G. It was a very good story. Thanks! Eric B.

Author's Response: Thanks, Eric, for all that praise. I agree with you about Arthur & Molly, and also I wanted a chance to show that teenagers aren\'t always as opaque to their parents as they think they are.

Now, about the R/Hr ship and its popularity in conjunction with H/G, I have three responses. In my own case, the narrative demanded it -- I wanted the trigger for Harry\'s realization of his love for Ginny to be his witnessing of the love of another couple, and Ron & Hermione were right there. As to other writers, well, (1) after publication of HBP, OBHWF is essentially canon; and (2) before that, to ship H/G you had to do something with Hermione, who was clearly the other choice -- and Ron was right there to occupy her...

Thanks again,

~Ken




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