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Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2020.04.11 - 05:52PM
Title: Sticks
Well I’m not surprised by that , and nightmare to boot, they are going to be a wreck in the morning...kutgw
Reviewer: sunnyseaforever Signed
Date: 2012.06.05 - 10:09AM
Title: Sticks
It was quite unexpected that the twins' prank would result in the five of them having to serve detention in the Forbidden Forest. Good one.
Reviewer: noylj Signed
Date: 2007.03.05 - 12:29AM
Title: Sticks
I found it!!! I wasn't logged in. Stupid computer.
Anyway, really enjoy this story. Death to McGonagall for now listening and not being willing to be sure that the stone is safe. Maybe she is so "up tight" because she knows DoubleDumbs plans to "trap" Moldiefart!Quirrel at the mirror. Damn those pesky kids...
Author's Response: Ah, McGonagall. More than meets the eye, perhaps. =)
Reviewer: Chreechree Signed
Date: 2007.01.27 - 10:50PM
Title: Sticks
Greetings, Almighty Evil One.
I fall prostrate before you, begging you to forgive my offence of not reviewing this chapter. Please do not send you minions to rend and tear my flesh. It really would make quite a mess on the carpet, and, frankly, I don’t feel like dealing with it.
Now, to review business. Right off the bat, this chapter has one of those moments that is quiet and perhaps not particularly important but that I love as it’s about your ever present theme of perspective, regardless of the fact that the twins are merely setting up Harrinny by talking about their height. What’s interesting is that they know (and correctly too) that not much has changed in terms of their height, but I feel that the twins have a point about it being difficult to gauge as growth is so gradual. I do think that it would be a sudden realization. Changes when they happen are not overnight, and you often don’t notice them when it’s within your own skin. Garry has they unique perspective of experiencing changes from both inside each other and from an external visual perspective as well. Does one overrule the other? Would either of them gain anything from that external POV when they can’t see each other together unless in a mirror? Minor but interesting for me.
I know I briefly mentioned this already, but one of my favorite moments this chapter is Hermione’s anxiety over her book vanishing due to correctly placed concern over Ginarry. The idea of Hermione kicking aside her book is normally inconceivable which is why it was so perfect here.
McGonagall did not overreact to what Hinny did. Period. They need to understand what they can do. Her reaction in canon was more of an overreaction. I do think she let Draco off a bit easy.
Good job with the forest sequence. I liked Harry and Ginny initially being in separate groups. Provided an interesting perspective. Bless Fred. I didn’t like him getting hurt. I’m a wee bit protective of the twins. You did a good job with the creepy factor.
Alright, may this review cleanse Meaning of One of all malignant, naughty, and otherwise bothersome Karma. For those of you reading along, don’t mind me. I’m just having fun with Lord and Master Sovran.
~ Christine
Author's Response: Nobody lets me do any rending and tearing these days. It's so disappointing. And besides, I'm not that evil . . . I don't dispatch the minions until the second offense. It's not harsh . . . it's fair warning. =)
That particular perspective thing is fun for me. Yes, they have a unique advantage, but they also have a very common disadvantage. Where shall the twain meet?
Poor McGonagall everyone misunderstands her so. Well, most everyone. You're doing quite well. =)
It's going to take a lot of work to cleanse MoO of all that sort of karma, but I do appreciate the effort!
And be careful what you call me . . . I might just get used to it.
Reviewer: Macsr71 Signed
Date: 2007.01.18 - 03:54PM
Title: Sticks
Glad to see you posting over at PS, always good quality fics over there - but...does that mean no new chapters until the two sites are in sinc?
Author's Response: Nope, not at all. I'll post ch21 here as soon as it's ready. Once PS catches up with SIYE, I'll post to both sites more-or-less simultaneously.
Reviewer: v_t Signed
Date: 2007.01.12 - 10:58PM
Title: Sticks
well, I finally got back into siye to read the update that has been waiting so paitently in my in box and I must say it was a really great chapter. I was so drawn into it with you bringing in so much of the canon into it that for a few moment I forgot it was fan fic. I just hope that Siye is fixed so I won't have to wait so long to read your next update.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks for that. If you have any problems accessing SIYE when the next chapter rolls around, let me know via the group. Thanks!
Reviewer: Ichtys Signed
Date: 2007.01.11 - 11:14AM
Title: Sticks
Hi Dave.
I'm sorry it has taken so long for me to leave a review for this chapter. I've been re-reading Bungle in the Jungle @ FFA. If you have the time, you should give it a try, I like it very much.
Well, back to the review. All the technical stuff; spelling, grammar and punctuation is as good as I'm used to in this story: Top Notch. Kudos to you and your beta team.
It was an interesting way you had them return to the forest. In stead of using the canon approach you use a prank, Very original; I haven't seen that before. I like the way they are getting closer to Fred and George, and also the way F&G treats them, as equal members of the family.
My only critique in this chapter is that Hagrids accent is a bit to broad. It is very difficult to understand what he is saying in places. I hope you can tone it down a bit in the future, as it would definitely make the story easier to read for me.
I look forward to read the next chapter.
Regards Ichtys
Author's Response: Hi Ichtys. I figured you'd catch up with me eventually.
I had fun re-working canon.... it's part of the challenge of this story, and it presents lots of opportunities for interactions.
It seems that we did go overboard with Hagrid's accent, so we're backing off a bit in the future. It was fun to play with, though. Thanks!
Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed
Date: 2007.01.08 - 10:46AM
Title: Sticks
it took me most of a somewhat distracted day to do so, but I caught up. I haven't reviewed since Chapter 6, so this one may cover more than the current chapter, I hope you don't mind too much.
Arthur Weasley, I love what you have done with him. In canon, he has very little "page time" (I was going to say screen time, but it didn't seem to work in this case). I love the way you have added more insight and development to him.
Gred and Forge- I really like seeing a serious side of them as well as the pranking and joking around. I was impressed at the way they handled being let in on the situation, and even more so their acceptance of everything at Christmas. Being the first to put down their wands was a big step. they showed more faith in their sister than anyone. Your pranks are so very well written. It makes me wonder if you were a pranking hellion while you were growing up, or if you just have a very devious literary mind.
Moly Weasley- I definitely wanted to put her in a padded room for a while while reading this. Let her bounce off the walls and knock some sense into herself.
As for Percy, I'd be giving him the diary in COS, but I am a bit spiteful that way. My own red-headed temper has had me envisioning a way to knock him off his high horse since the first time I read my way through the first five of the books.
I like the different takes on Hermione and Neville. I've always thought that with a little more self confidence, and of course his own wand, Neville could be a force of nature himself. Maybe that is just my own high hopes, but he does show promise. The balance you have written with Hermione is spot on. Extra studious with just enough curiosity about the world outside of her books.
You started working with Ron really well, the change brought on by the troll incident. But you seem to have him in a holding pattern. I have really enjoyed the interactions with Bill and Charlie. We don't get to see them much in Canon, and that's a shame. They have such great potential.
I think my favorites portrayal of yours in McGonagall. You've given her a softer side that a lot of people have been looking for in Canon, but have yet to find.
The centaurs are an enigma in canon, as well as in your fic here. The 'little sister' comment has me both curious and a bit confused.
This has been a wonderful ride so far. I'm definitely looking forward to the rest of the journey.
Author's Response: I don't mind summarised reviews at all. They tend to address 'big picture' things instead of minutiae, which has its own value.
I was a pretty tame youth. I had some fun ideas, but I was not the sort to actually carry them out. So I suppose it's the latter of your two ideas. At least I hope so.
I enjoy writing Hermione immensely, and Neville has become surprisingly good. Ron is hard . . . I admit that openly. But as I've said before, his role in this story is different, by definition, than his role in canon.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm looking forward to the last 5 chapters. Thanks!
Reviewer: noylj Signed
Date: 2007.01.04 - 11:40PM
Title: Sticks
Once again, Malfoy does something that does injure and could kill a student and he gets off with no more punishment than any of the four Friffs.
Harry and Ginny defend themselves and they get punished. It is good to see that your Potterverse is just as unjust as in canon.
Some day I hope to read a fanfic where Minerva is forced to look at the way she treats Harry and how many times she (like Snape) has jumped to the wrong conclusion, given absolutely awful advice, and punished the victums. I really would like to be there when she, Snape, and dumbles meet James and Lily and are all ripped a new one for the hellacious way they treat children in general and Harry in particular.
Author's Response: Are you sure?
Author's Response: I realise that my first response was not terribly useful, but I had to ponder a bit before answering more thoroughly.
Remember the story's point of view . . . we only know what Harry and Ginny know, and we see things as they see them. We don't know why McG did what she did, but we as readers know that sometimes adults do, in fact, know more than children, because of their experience.
In other words . . . the story isn't over yet.
Reviewer: sideline Signed
Date: 2007.01.04 - 01:07PM
Title: Sticks
Names may never hurt me, but deciding on what to call Harry and Ginny can get a little confusing. More on that in a moment.
Memo to McGonagall: teach them a disarming spell or at very least a flipping shield charm! Grin and bear it is not a satisfactory self defence tactic. She knows Malfoy is smarmy little git that wont try anything if he doesn’t have the drop on his victim. Perhaps she could use a few knocks about the head with a clue by four so she might realize self defence is a basic right.
Even though it wasn’t difficult to follow Hagrid’s dialogue it seemed a bit garbled. That said I’m not a Brit so I defer to the wisdom of the Brit-picker.
Try and have something heavy fall on Draco at your earliest possible convenience.
I wish I were as bright as Mars apparently is because the centaurs have me scratching my head. For some reason I doubt Firenze was alluding to Harry’s Boy-Who-Lived moniker. I need to scour Wikipedia for ‘little sister’ in mythology, too.
Your Monarchy hint clicked when I was making change for the bus. I was trying to think of a fiction character in a similar situation to Harry and Ginny’s so I could approach the problem from a different angle. The closest I could approximate was a mentally unstable villain: Harvey Dent. I flipped one of the quarters I had, thinking about a scene from an old Batman movie. It landed on Heads. Is it so simple that they’re two sides of the same coin?
Cheers
Joel
Author's Response: Almost unrelated, but it seems like the words to that particular playground taunt were different for you than they were for me. In this case, the difference matters, but you'll figure that out soon enough.
Hmm. You'll figure that out soon enough, too.
I may back off of Hagrid's dialect a bit. If more than one person found it more difficult to read, it may be doing more detracting than broadening.
I hadn't thought about using Wikipedia for that, but I did try it. I had no luck finding the reference, but of course that doesn't mean it's not there.
Happy reading!
Reviewer: Comet Moon Signed
Date: 2007.01.04 - 01:05PM
Title: Sticks
I've got it.
The small detail you mentioned that everyone had over looked.
You've even hinted it in different ways in many chapters, but not this clearly where it would be knoticed.
He looked back and forth between Harry and Ginny, and they watched as his eyes flicked from Harry’s scar, to Ginny’s hair, to their joined hands.
Why is her HAIR so important.
You've mentioned it wwas unique from ALL her family, and it was 'The color fire strived for but never attained'.
I also wonder if there is a prophesy about Ginny, or if the original one is the same.
It could be and still mean both.
THE "ONE" WITH THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE DARK LORD.
Given the title of this story makes since.
Plus the was a part in P.S. that you left out on the interactions with the centaurs. Bane was much more opposed to helping, and when Firenze left Harry stated that the Planets had been wrong before, and he hoped that that had been one of those time.
Instead he wished that his path was as oblique as it was now, showing to me an approval of the path the two/one took.
How'd I do?
Chat later
Ja ne
Jim
Author's Response: Hmm. That's not the detail you're looking for. I do like Ginny's hair, though, and everything you said about it is correct and deliberate.
You're thinking now. =)
Reviewer: Athea Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 11:07PM
Title: Sticks
Hmm...A very thought provoking chapter.
I liked the interaction between Harry, Ginny, and the twins during their detention. I was almost happy for Neville that he didn't have to endure the terror he felt at going into the forest. :) I'm enjoying seeing a deeper characterization of the twins. We've definitely seen their sense of humor and their devotion to their family in canon, but it is nice to see their intelligence and compassion. I think those traits are obviously part of their character when you look at the nature of their jokes- funny, but never mean--well, except to Dudley, but he had it coming.
The dialog with the Centaurs was intriguing..."You are as you should be" "Be tranquil, little sister" “You are sometimes called Harry Potter, are you not?” "May your path continue to be oblique.” Very interesting. Lots to think about there. I particularly enjoyed the last one.
I think my favorite part of the chapter, however, was Quirrel/Voldemort seeing both Harry and Ginny react badly to his presence. Will he draw the conclusion that they are bonded or will he attribute Ginny's reaction to fright? Can he sense the bond, or will he be able to later, through the link between his and Harry's mind.
Thanks for another great chapter.--Erika
Author's Response: The twins weren't terribly mean to Dudley . . . they just provided him the means to be mean to himself. =)
Ah, yes, you did find the right things to think about from the centaurs' conversation. You may have missed one, actually, but it was very, very subtle. The last one you mentioned is, in fact, the most intriguing in my opinion.
That 'link' to Harry took quite some time to work out for MoO. I have to wonder, though . . . what grounds does he have to reach any conclusion about their relationship? Later, of course . . . well, that's for later.
Thanks very much.
Reviewer: Chatmandu Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 08:48PM
Title: Sticks
Funny what crops up in your mind while stuck in a traffic jam.........
I bet the centaurs would have no problem reading your first chapter!
Author's Response: Ha! You're probably right. That thought tickles me right down to my hooves.
Reviewer: hjp74 Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 01:43PM
Title: Sticks
great chapter i can see the pace is beging to pick up a bit again and the end of year should be very intresting.
I relly like how youve incorprated the twins in to harrys life and feel thta apart from ginny hose two will have the biggest infulence on his charecter (That may not be a entily good thing but it should make harry more fun to be around).
Alos it might just be me and i havent read HPPS in a while but the draco in this story seams to be more vidictive ten in cannon or it might just be that he`s had more oppertunites anywhat iam looking forward to see how he devolps as well.
By the way could the next chapter be entitled stones
Author's Response: The twins definitely have a larger role and a more significant influence. In fact, I think it's safe to say that they've already had quite an influence on Harry in particular.
I may be writing Draco a bit more harshly than JKR in book 1. I do think that it has something to do with opportunity, though.
That's a good guess for the chapter title. At one point, you might have been right. As it is, you're quite close.
Thanks!
Reviewer: Macsr71 Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 01:24PM
Title: Sticks
As always, an excellent chapter, love the twins loose in the forest and how they use Ginny or Harry to keep track of the others, kind of like tichy-little walky-talkies, can almost picture George holding up Ginny to his ear to listen in with…..
Love how you lost the points for Griffindor House, not sure how your going to work Neville’s getting the points to swing the house cup in their favor but trust that you will put your highly creative talents.
Speaking of Neville – I notice a few of us have commented to you on his growing crush on our fair Ginny but you have sidestepped the question each time – too far in the future to comment on or are you planning some heart tugging moments to come sooner?
Author's Response: Titchy walkie-talkies? I love it! I may have to find some way to use that, someday.
Hmm.... ask me those questions again at the end of this book, if you'd like.
Reviewer: Chatmandu Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 01:04PM
Title: Sticks
Curiouser and curiouser. The twins and not Neville.... Huh.
I have no problems with canon dialogue in a fic :-) I remain fascinated with how your story is anchored to specific canon plot points but your actions are so different. Bring on the Stone!
Author's Response: I'm glad the dialogue doesn't bother you... part of what I want to do is keep some elements of canon that shouldn't change based on the AU. There will be less of those as we go along, but for now it matches. Don't worry . . . the stone is rolling this way.
Reviewer: Ginzig1 Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 09:26AM
Title: Sticks
I completely lost my review from earlier, but great chapter. Loved the prank the twins did. Not at all happy with all the points being docked. But very pleased that Ron stood up for Harry and Ginny to their friends and Percy. Maybe thick sometimes, but loyal too. Can't wait for more. :)
Author's Response: That prank was awfully hard to come up with, so I'm glad you liked it.
The points issue will come up again. I actually had them losing even more points originally, but I backed off a bit.
Ron is difficult for me to write, but if he's coming across as both thick and loyal, I'm happy.
Thanks!
Reviewer: Torak Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 08:34AM
Title: Sticks
This is as good as I've by now come to expect - excellent stuff. You've got a couple of quotation marks missing just after they discover the unicorn, though.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. I don't find the quotation marks, but I've seen the prose so many times that I may be missing the error without realizing it. The only thing I saw was the exclusion of closing quotation marks preceding a new statement (paragraph) from the same character. If you'd like, you could PM with details of what's missing.
Author's Response: Thanks for helping with that error. I'd always rather be correct than proud.
Reviewer: Kezzabear Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 08:33AM
Title: Sticks
I too would like to leave a meaningful review...alas moshpit's review has thrown me and I cannot think what to say!!!
Author's Response: Yeah, it threw me, too, but I have more experience in translating his lunacy. I hope you liked the chapter!
Reviewer: moshpit Signed
Date: 2007.01.03 - 02:09AM
Title: Sticks
Sticks of One, Stones of Another One, it all has to come together somehow. I suspect soup. No soup for you! Oh, wait, wrong story.
It's the trailing paragraph that seems most apt. Two minds, one set of nightmares ... or is that one mind, two sets of nightmares ... or is that two minds, two sets of nightmares, and they all overlap? If Ginny dreams of slithering silvery ribbons while Harry dreams of green flashes and purple flames, what is the end result?
Power is in the eye of the beholder. To an infant, a five year old is incredibly strong. To McGonagall, who is strong? Everything does not weigh the same, unless you consider the weight of one.
Author's Response: Wrong story? Wrong fandom! Unless, of course, some prat slips in his own soup and takes a fall.
one, two, four, 1/2 . . . why does it have to be so complicated? Let's just call it . . . baboon.
Weighty matters, my friend. I must consider them properly based on the space and time available.
../back
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