I'm glad you pointed me in the direction of this story. It was well worth the read. I truly believe in everything you said in your author's notes. I may love to see drama between Harry and Ginny in fanfiction but I don't think Ginny will cause an uproar for Harry because she truly understands why he's doing the things he is. I hate that Harry had to do something so dark but it is war and he will have to do things others wouldn't expect from him normally. That Ginny realized what had truly happened shows how well she knew Harry or how smart she really is.

Can't wait to read more from you. That was definitely twisty as you said it would be ;)

Author's Response: Glad you came over to give it a read. As many have pointed out privately, it's a little sub-par for my current standards, and the process of trying to convert it and fix it for posting outside of SIYE is just ... err. Too much work at the moment. I've got a few one-shots laying around that need my attention more, as they haven't been posted yet. And, of course, there's the continuing Echoes chapters. Not a twist there, never, of course not. Anyway, glad you liked it. And watch out for that rug...

I guess it is really all in "perception." (Groans to very bad pun) :-) You did state some issues that are very thought provoking in your response to my review. Can't wait to see how JK handles it.

Author's Response: Yeah, puns abound it seems with stories like this :)

Thanks for being open-minded. I do think the issues you raised are valid, but I don't think it's quite as one-sided as it might seem ... First impressions and all that.

I'm curious to see how JKR handles a lot of the little niggling things in the final Book. As my betas know, I'm 50-50 on whether Harry will even survive the story arc.

Judged for competition.

Let me say that this fic works on many different levels. It definitely fulfills the challenge parameters, with the Death Eater victim being the youngest of all -- Draco. I enjoyed reading about the battles Harry had with Theodore Nott and the creatures from earlier books, namely Fluffy and the hippogryffs.

This is the second challenge entry I've read so far in which the killer turned out to be Harry. In fact, this brings up an important issue that has been looming ever since the Prophecy is revealed at the end of OotP -- if Harry kills Voldemort or any Death Eater, does this make Harry as morally reprehensible as Voldie? Then who is to say that Harry is the good guy and Voldie is the bad guy anyway?

As was pointed out by other reviewers, this is what Ginny asks at the end of this fic, and you reveal some of the reasons that H/G break up at the end of HBP.

Overall, excellent fic. I wish you luck in the challenge.

Author's Response: Thanks for the generous comments. The entire chase scene was fun to write, and met the cravings that 'cwarbeck' expressed to me. I'm glad my little chapter has capture such a wide variety of responses.

Harry ultimately, in canon, is going to have to kill or be killed. I think he's reached that point now, where he knows the full stakes, and understands in a far darker way than he really ought to for his age just what the cost is going to be. Will his humanity survive? It all depends on how you define humanity.

Thanks for the feedback.

Easily the best of the challenge fics. Also, this is the probably the only one that works as a story in its own right. You seemed to blend in some of the challenge requirements quite well, nothing really stood out as being forced, aside from perhaps the very fact that students would somehow feel entitled to contaminate a crime scene. Seeing as how that's the basis of the challenge, I can't really hold that against you. Having Harry seemingly recognize this, or perhaps just not want to be bothered with it, was a nice touch.

There were two other plot points that I did question while reading. First, I didn’t think that the Marauder’s Map would work on a train. I know that you needed for Harry to be able to spot Nott and Malfoy some way, but this stuck out as perhaps being a little too convenient. Second, it’s been established that invisibility cloaks are both rare and expensive. For Nott to use one, ineffectively as well, to cover up the murder when simply opening the window and chucking Malfoy out would have sufficed seemed a bit odd as well.

I thought that the chase scene was well done, and I did notice the similarity to Indiana Jones. Ron and Harry’s exchange concerning the floating evidence bag stands out as being one of the most genuinely amusing parts of this challenge. I liked Harry’s tone throughout. He acted exactly how I would expect someone who had just been through what he has been through to act. I have no problem with him killing Malfoy. It might just be that I’ve seen to many instances where Malfoy is given sanctuary by the Order for some inexplicable reason but this seemed like the most realistic response to meeting up with Malfoy after HBP.

I thought that the closing conversation between Harry and Ginny was exceptional. I honestly wish that everyone writing a post HBP fic would cut and paste it for their own stories. It shows a remarkable bit of strength for both Harry and Ginny and shows a maturity far beyond their ages. I much prefer this approach to the more common immediate reconciliation after a Ginny hissy-fit. This was a great way to end the story.

Excellent story. Thanks for writing it.


Author's Response: Thanks for the generous assessment. Students investigating a crime does seem a bit odd, doesn't it? But then, the whole way that canon HP works with crimes and "investigations" I find odd too (ie, lack thereof).

To address your spot-on comments ...

The Map : I thought it was clear that the Map doesn't work on the train -- on the platform, yes, on the grounds yes, on the train, no. I guess I'll have to be more careful of details like that in the future. I tend to think that the original creators, being the pranksters they were and roaming freely outside, would have made the Map work beyond the walls of the castle. After all, a Stag is Not A Small Animal, and Rather Conspicuous to boot. To remain secret, they'd need to be secret outside, too -- until they were in the woods, at any rate. Evne then, they'd need to "see" a little bit in to be sure students weren't coming back in from detentions or the like. If Hogwarts is set up like most English towns Iv'e seen with Rail, then the train station would be somewhere between the castle and the town itself. While I chose to use the Map and enhance what it covered, and had to do a rather slight contortion for that to work, I hope that on the "contortion" scale of forced plot points it rates less than 3 out of 10.

The thing with the cloak is valid, but take a step back and re-consider Nott's choices. The students were already starting to show up on the platform. He had no idea when anyone would be coming onto the train. Throwing a body out the window, in cloak or not, is risky -- opening the window makes noise, blood trails, body becomign uncovered, etc. I agree that leaving the cloak was dubious, and that's probably closer to a 4 out of 10 contortion, but I think it can be justified in multiple ways... although I made no effort to do so in the story. In essence, I agree -- that probably should have been handled better.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story overall, with its strengths and weaknesses. I agree about Ginny's comments, but again, the underlying wisdom there -- and some of the very words she uses -- are all due to the insight of Chreechree. I give her full credit for educating me so that I could try and pass it along to others. I also wish that most post-HBP authors would understand that passage before writing their stories.

Thanks for the insightful review!

I always enjoy seeing a bit of Malfoy torture. I'm not sure I liked that Harry had a hand in killing a defenseless man, even if it was Malfoy, but I can accept that. I also loved Ginny's speech at the end. I thought the end of HBP really gave us some insight into her maturity. You expanded upon that nicely.

Author's Response: For the record, I'm don't think Harry likes what he's done. Several parts of the story try to convey that. Did Malfoy deserve death? Definitely. Did he deserve to die in a very fast albeit painful manner from that necklace? Depends on your personal beliefs. Does Harry regret what he did? Yes, and I think the story does say that. There's only so much that Harry is going to be able to take before he starts pushing back, and in doing so, he's going to cross the line...

Ginny's comments at the end are all due to the insight and explanations by Chreechree. I give her all credit for teaching me that.

Excellent. This is a great story for taking the challenge parameters and making the result mean something in the larger context. It filled in some gaps in Ginny's behavior, as you mentioned, and gave us just a bit more closure (which we needed) than HBP. Ginny's reason, as we've discussed, is just about the only one that really works, and we needed to hear it stated more clearly.

"Ron nodded at Harry and then the Wizard's Chess set he had setup on the bench, asking silently if Harry wanted to play. Harry felt he would rather amputate his leg with a dull rock, but if it would make time pass more quickly, then he would suffer through more defeats at the merciless hands of Ron."
That alone should qualify this fic for the humor category.

Nice job keeping it from being obvious from the start. All the hints were there, but they didn't jump out and beat you over the head.

Your harry/ginny interaction, especially the nonverbal stuff, was wonderful. It's nice to see how you write them outside the context of Echoes.

Now, please, for the love of socks and kittens, don't pursue any plot bunnies you've picked up around me. Please.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it. The original version was much more subtle according to my betas... and it left huge gaps that the reader would need guesswork and multiple readings to fill in. This version isn't spoon fed, but it does give most of the answers to a first reading.

Plot bunnies? I have no knowledge of what you speak... mmm... fried bunny for dinner... mmm...

Actually, I was briefly toying with a parody plot last night, but I managed to over-come the urge. I think. It would have been another Murder challenge thing, anyway.

On the Wizard's Chess thing ... (1) I have no idea how Harry tolerates playing Ron _all the time_ and losing _all the time_ and never really getting better. (2) When you're feeling oent up and caged and wanting to be out, Out, OUT, then the last thing you usually want to do is sit still and engage in thinking activities. So, with my usual penchant for sarcasm, well.... guilty, I suppose.

The ending was astounding. I was most impressed by the final paragraph, where Ginny lets Harry go. I think this a worthy interpretion of the events set in motion by HBP. Excellent work.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. The rationale is all Chreechree, so credit goes to her. I agree, it's about the only interpretation that works. Any other view tends to make me want to burn a book. Sigh.