|
Reviewer: Blitzstrahl Signed Date: 2015.07.18 - 12:02AM Title: After the Chamber
Snogging isn't so bad at 12, at 11 the crowd I was around where doing more than that, letting girls touch are "wands" in exchange for "Quaffle" grouping if you can my meaning.
Author's Response: At my school, they were making out in the hallways at that age, but when I wrote it, tons of people complained that kids that age don't do that.
Reviewer: riegert8 Signed Date: 2013.04.21 - 07:54PM Title: After the Chamber
It funny that Hermione would tell Harry he has the courage to face danger but can't face a 11 year old girl, it take a different kind of courage to face a enemy or catch a snitch while injured then a young girl. With facing a enemy Harry knew what was on the line which is his life, Ginny's life, stone and Weasley family getting hurt if anything happen to Ginny, now facing Ginny would seem an lot harder then a enemy.
In my opinion the first couple of times being rejected is always hardest to take, I was rejected once but it was from a girl I was not interested in dating. I love to talk for it a good way get to know someone, all I told this girl was Hi and then she spend the next half hour cutting me down.
Author's Response: I know emotional danger seems much harder to face than physical danger, but I used to tell myself I would have to admit to myself I'm a coward if I didn't aske a girl out once I'd decided to. I always took my time deciding that as well.
Reviewer: SYLVELLE Signed Date: 2012.11.19 - 03:36PM Title: After the Chamber
Cute so far, but really, 11 and 12 years old.. Don't think they'd be 'snogging'
Author's Response: Then I guess you didn't attend the Junior High I did, because they were making out in the halls there.
Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.08.25 - 04:14AM Title: After the Chamber
very good start to the story love the lines the girls used to get Harry to man up was very funny. But to me I don't know seems they are a bit young for going out and snogging already though your story so we shall see where you take us just would of prefered you to hold off on this for a bit.
Author's Response: It's good to see people are still reading this story.
In my author's note at the end of the first chapter, I partially explained why Harry and Ginny's relationship was moving at the rate it was.
Reviewer: HG4HOOD Signed Date: 2008.06.19 - 10:17AM Title: After the Chamber
Nice story I have to say, you didn't put to much emphasizes on things which didn't matter to the story, such as Ginny always b.b-hexing people; and harry becoming so powerful that he can fight Dumbledore and become an Animagus in the space of weeks as such as other stories do in which annoy the hell out of me. Nice solid story. so good i sayed up 6 hours over my bed time.....lol. 4.5/5 from the boy down under.
Cheers,
HG4HOOD
Reviewer: googol Signed Date: 2008.02.23 - 06:40AM Title: After the Chamber
Magical bond? Well that makes perfect sense!
Reviewer: hogwartsprincess Signed Date: 2007.09.16 - 03:40PM Title: After the Chamber
Honestly, I don't think Harry and Ginny are too young to be snogging. First of all, both have grown up faster than normal due to their confrontations with Voldemort. Second of all, anyone who thinks kids from twelve to fifteen don't kiss or even more are just delusional. I know there have been girls and guys who have had sex in middle school around the ages of Ginny and Harry. Especially if they have a bond, I think Harry and Ginny are more than ready to snog. Anyway, great story!
Author's Response: I agree with you, and that was certainly going on in my Jr. High.
However, many reviewers have expressed concern about their ages, so I felt I would address it at the end of the chapter..
Reviewer: kingbobrules Signed Date: 2007.06.29 - 03:35PM Title: After the Chamber
I for one just want 2 say that the fledgeling relationship between Ginn and Harry seems to me to be quite realistic. I'm not saying it's exactly right, but it's certainly believable. This is a really sweet story!
Reviewer: cantante Signed Date: 2007.06.07 - 06:21PM Title: After the Chamber
lol i love this: "magical bond has formed between them... It will be fully explained in the chapter called, "The Bond Explained." thats hilarious. just the way you put it i mean... i do like the story though. its fun.. and i dont think they're snogging too early/young... i would if they were anyone else but these characters have been through so much. they really are very mature for their ages... they seem to be about 2-3 years older than they actually are... at least!
Reviewer: werekitten Signed Date: 2007.05.26 - 08:51PM Title: After the Chamber
Erm. Well, it looks like quite an interesting beginning, but I find it totally unrealistic how they are snogging "passionately" at the ages of 11 and 12. I can tell you that very few 'couples' of that age even kiss, especially if they've been dating for all of an hour. Ron's reaction was well done, and I like the origan scenario. So overall, this would be a great beginning for a 5/6th year Ginny and Harry!
Author's Response: Apparantly you didn't read the message at the bottom of chapter 1. I explained that a magical bond is at work, but the kids aren't aware of it.
Reviewer: SunlightDust Anonymous Date: 2007.05.24 - 06:25AM Title: After the Chamber
Hehe yeah, I was thinking that they were a little young, but now that you've given an explanation I can barely find anything to fault at all. The only thing I suggest is more elaboration from an entirely selfish point of view, since more description makes the chapter last longer ^_^ Great start!
Reviewer: elusive Signed Date: 2007.03.24 - 05:26PM Title: After the Chamber
Yay! Harry and Ginny should have started dating a lot earlier, anyway. This story is gonna be good, I can tell.
Reviewer: nevascared Signed Date: 2006.11.07 - 09:04PM Title: After the Chamber
thy r way 2 young 2 b snoggin already
Reviewer: PotterBoy90 Signed Date: 2006.11.04 - 12:50AM Title: After the Chamber
Hmm..bit young for snogging dont'cha think? haha i ont care.. i love Harry/Ginny-ness!!! ahaha!
Funny lines.. and dont do what the other review below me said.. i like how this was written..
Reviewer: Izzieluv Signed Date: 2006.08.31 - 08:57PM Title: After the Chamber
“Where do you think Ron learned how to play?” made me laugh and I just about died at “What’s wrong Ron? Were you hoping for an enlargement charm?”
it was super cute
Reviewer: Baby_Huey Signed Date: 2006.08.07 - 09:28PM Title: After the Chamber
Okay, after readind the first few paragraphs of chapter 1 i have noticed a few thing that really need to be changed. get rid of the whole voice in harry's head thing, it is rather annoying. also there is a lot of stuff that you have written that just does not need to be there. you can actually remove about 45% from each paragraph and it would be much better written. remember sometimes less is more.
example: you wote
Harry knew he had to get her to keep talking. He wanted to help her. He slowly put his left hand on her chin, and turned her head toward him and asked, “Nightmares?”
this would be better
Harry slowly put his left hand on her chin, turning her head toward him and asked, “Nightmares?”
you dont have to write what harry is thinking so much, especially when the dialog tells you what he is thinking or when his actions do. it just gets a little redundant. I know that this is a ginny/harry site so you do not have to be so obvious about getting them together, it kind of makes it feel forced. instead of having harry think stuff like, “now she’s gonna think you want to date her, but you don’t, or do you?” have him notice little things about her. i remember when i was twelve, and i did not thinks things like “now she’s gonna think you want to date her, but you don’t, do you?” about the girl i had a crush on. no, noticed how pretty her hair was and how pleasent her voice was. sure, i tried to pretend that i did not like her, but that is how twelve year old boys act.
try not to use sentences like She did, and then he joined her. remember that sice only one person speaks per paragraph you do not have to use he/she said in every sentence that has quotations. try to limit it to once a paragraph, eventually you could possbly stop using it all together
I think that you got the two of them tegether a little too fast. In my opinion you should have waited a few chapters before having them as a couple. sure thedy have know each other for two years but they have only had three conversations.
Reviewer: Taku Signed Date: 2006.07.29 - 06:52PM Title: After the Chamber
Remember Harry is only 12 years old and had for his first 11 years nearly no chance to gather social experiences. Here he acts far to well. It also does not help to solve all (of her) problems in one go. They are getting far to fast comfortable with each other, It takes less than 5 minutes to get them talking about their innermost feelings, given your own preset this is more than unlikely. At this point they are little less than strangers to each other.
After the first half of the first chapter I would say they should be at least 2 years older and that you completely missed the tone, the story idea behind it is good enough.
Reviewer: Dragen Signed Date: 2006.06.21 - 07:42AM Title: After the Chamber
Just read this chapter again, and I have to say I love it as much as I loved it when I first read it. Its just like Ron to be a git. Can't wait to see what happens.
