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Hurt Before | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst, Songfic Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG-13 Reviews: 14 Summary: "It had been 8 years since he left Hogwarts. He left the school as a hero and walked out into the real world – and with that out of her life." Ginny's mind wanders back in time as her 25th birthday arrives. Hitcount: Story Total: 4490 |
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A/N: I was inspired to write this fic when I listened to the song "Hurt Before" by The Corrs. I was amazed at how well the lyrics fit Ginny and so I decided to write this. Please tell me how you liked it, I'm glad for evry piece of advice! Hurt Before She's a girl in a world She's moving as fast as she goes Loves her mum and her dad The only secure that she knows But at night she's alone She's dreaming of somebody new Her someone for to hold She's praying the dream will come true It had been 8 years since he left Hogwarts. He left the school as a hero and walked out into the real world – and with that out of her life. Since his last day at Hogwarts, she had never seen him again. She knew he did it only for her best but that didn’t keep her from being miserable all summer before she started her final year without him. She had been in her fourth year when she started to date other boys and stopped pining after The Boy Who Lived. Though in the beginning it had felt strange to give up on something that had been guiding her through rough times – her love for him. And even though they started to become friends in that same year it felt different. Their friendship grew stronger over the years and so did her love. They both dated several people but all the time she felt that there was a special bond between the two of them, that couldn’t be compared to any of her relationships. She could talk to him about all her fears and nightmares, but also about all the things that made her happy. He would come to her and tell her about things he couldn’t tell either Ron or Hermione, and later on, he would come to her because of Ron and Hermione. When they finally realised what they felt for each other and decided to date, he was really happy for them. But after a while, her brother and the other girl grew very close and he felt left out, though the couple always made sure he wasn’t. However, when the time came to fighting the final battle, they all fought side by side. Many people died that night and even more were seriously injured. Her brother and Hermione were both among them, but recovered relatively fast at St Mungo’s. And even though she only had been slightly injured, he had reached a decision then and there. She was so upset about it that she hadn’t spoken to him for a week, but then she had realised there was no point in arguing about it, because it would only make it harder if they broke apart fighting. On his last evening, he told her he loved her, but had to go because she was endangered when she was with him. The last thing he wanted for her to be dieing because he was who he was. He had become a successful Auror and travelled the world in order to protect the wizarding kind. After he had defeated Lord Voldemort his remaining Death Eaters dispersed all over the globe and founded groups of Dark Arts. Some bigger than others – but none of them got ever as powerful as the Dark Lord himself. Every now and then, there would be an interview or an article about him in the Daily Prophet with a picture of him. And although he was grown-up now, he was still as handsome as he had been back at Hogwarts, his hair as messy as ever and she still melted in his emerald green eyes. It had been 5 years since the wedding of Ron and Hermione. They lived in a beautiful old farmhouse in the countryside of Canada now and had a lovely 4-year-old daughter named Sara. When she had received the invitation she had hoped against hope he would be there, too, but she should be wrong. Now here she was, living in a nice little flat in London, working as a Junior Healer at St Mungo’s. She had had boyfriends, but never longer than a few months. The twins visited her every now and then and once a month she received an owl from Bill, Charlie, Ron and Hermione. She always loved their letters and stored every single one of them in a box in her cupboard. Every weekend she would meet her parents at The Burrow for dinner and catch up on recent events. That was the official version – truth to be told, she missed them terribly when she was alone in her flat. Not that she didn’t want to life on her own, but something inside her was still 10 years old and never wanted to leave home. Whenever she had a problem at work or a fight with one of her boyfriends, she would turn up at the backdoor of her parents’ house and her mother would take her into her loving arms. Lately, she found herself standing at the door more often. She reckoned it was because her 25th birthday drew nearer and nearer, and with every passing day she felt more and more lonely. Although, she had great friends and colleagues at the hospital and great brothers who stayed in contact with her, she felt a great loss of something. Love. On the outside, she was the young and happy woman everybody suspected her to become when she was younger, but on the inside, she was just a sad girl, who wanted nothing more than to be loved by someone – by him. She didn’t want to be alone in her flat in the evenings anymore. She wanted someone to come home to and to tell him how her day was. She wanted someone she could snuggle up to when she felt cold in the middle of the night. She simply wanted him. Show me the way Show me, show me how Help me, be brave For love Show me the way Show me, tell me how What do you say? Every now and then, she caught herself having fairytale-like dreams of the two of them together. But most of the time, she just wished he would come around and be a part of her life again. Every night before she went to bed she prayed that somehow he would realise he needed to see her again. Every time she saw a shooting star she wished he would get her message and her prayers will be answered. There's a pain in her heart She's trying so hard to unwind Makes her cry in the night When visions so real make her blind Wants to break through the fear Erasing the scars from within Start a new kind of being She's down and she's praying again It had been years since she last did that, but a few months ago it had started again. Without any reason, without any warning, she had started crying herself to sleep over him. She felt silly about it and never mentioned it to neither her friends nor her family. It was like she was 11 years old once again, and she never ever wanted to go back to that feeling. Her first year at Hogwarts had been her worst. Not only was it humiliating how she had pined after The Boy Who Lived, but also the events of the Chamber never left her mind. After that year she never ever touched a diary again and so she coped with all her fears and nightmares all on her own. That was until they became friends. Now she could talk to him. And though they promised to always tell each other everything that bothered them, she kept her secrets and was sure he had some of his own, too. When he left her, she was miserable. She hated herself for never telling him how she really felt about him and letting him go so easily. The summer after he left Hogwarts was bad. She was the only one left at the Burrow, now with Ron and Hermione working for the Ministry of Magic in Canada and him at Auror training. She missed them all, but she missed him most. Her parents noticed her mood of course and tried to cheer her up, but it didn’t work. They were as sad as she was that he left them for a reason they all knew but refused to understand. So she kept telling herself that this was just a bad dream and eventually she would wake up and he would be sitting at the kitchen table in the morning. At the start of her 7th and final year at Hogwarts, she made a decision herself. She would start a new life – a life without him. She made a promise to her parents and above all to herself that she would stop being miserable without him and start being happy about the time she had had him at her side as a friend. She was one of the last students in the castle who could tell the younger students the truth about him. The truth about the person behind all these heroic tales. That he never wanted to be famous at all and how he managed to become a strong and independent person despite all the things he had gone through. That decision had changed her and made her stronger as a person. But she wasn’t able to keep up this facade. Two years afterwards, she started to be miserable again every time she saw his face on the front page of the Daily Prophet or heard someone say his name. Her parents seemed to notice but never said anything and for that she was grateful. She started to collect articles, interviews and pictures, and even tried to capture their happiest, funniest and most personal memories in paintings. This made her feel a connection – like he was right beside her. Sometimes she wondered if he felt it too… Show me the way Show me, show me how Help me, be brave For love Show me the way Show me, tell me how What do you say? It was on this warm afternoon in spring when she felt the need to have him back in her life so bad that she decided again to change something. He had told her that he left only for her best. But the best for her would be to have him by her side, to love him and to be with him forever. So she started to write a letter. She put every single thought and all her feelings in it explaining to him how desperately she wanted him to come back. When she finally had finished, the night had already fallen outside her window. She read through the seven rolls of parchment, on which she had poured out her soul to him. Tomorrow she would go the Post Office and send it with the most beautiful owl she could find. As she climbed into her bed tonight she felt content with herself. It had been a long time since she had last felt that. That was the first night in years she went to sleep without tears. You see she's Turning the key, unlocking the door Embracing the roller coaster world Stepping outside with body and soul Taking whatever future holds Turning the key, unlocking the door Embracing the roller coaster world Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five You know we've all been hurt before When she woke the next morning the sun was already high in the sky and the twitter of birds could be heard through her window. A smile stretched across her face and she remembered what she was about to do. Her heart felt as light as a feather and at the same time she felt a bit nervous. She got up, took a long shower, got dressed and went to the kitchen to have a small breakfast. It was her every-day-routine and that gave her the opportunity to let her mind wander. In her mind, she would receive a letter from him only a week after today and he would tell her how grateful he was that she had written to him. He would tell her how sorry he was that he had ever left her side and how much he missed her around. She could see him smile. And out of nowhere, he would knock at her door, there would be a happy sparkle in his emerald eyes that only was there when he was totally and completely happy. All he would say was a simple “Hello” like he had done in the summer before she went to Hogwarts. But this time she wouldn’t run away from him, she would take him into her arms and all the years of pain and sadness he caused would be forgotten. She shook her head to clear it from her daydream, picked up the thick envelope and headed for the door. When she stepped out onto the crowded Diagon Alley, all her nervousness was gone. The letter tight in her hand she walked down the street full of self-confidence. She was going to greet a new world, whether he answered or not. If he replied, she would have him back in her life again as she wanted it all those years, if he didn’t, she had at least tried. In that case it would be a farewell forever. It was another warm and sunny day of spring and with her heart and soul eased she could actually enjoy the first rays of light after a long and dark winter. The world was so beautiful when she was happy. There was so much for her to experience, so much to learn and so much to live for, that she wouldn’t throw it all away because of him. She had her own life and a family who loved her. Tomorrow she would turn only 25 and already had she felt miserable for longer than many people twice as old. As she walked passed people, she realised that every one of them had hard times but they had gotten over it somehow. They lived their life as good as possible and tried to make the best of the worst situation. And that was what she had to do herself now. Get on with her life. As she entered the post office, she spotted at once a snowy white owl, which reminded her of his own. Immediately she chose it and tied her letter carefully to its foot. Then she went to the clerk and paid for the delivery. She watched the owl fly away into the blue sky, hoping it would return soon. She didn’t feel like going back to her flat right now so she decided to walk around the muggle part of the town, maybe do some shopping or lie down in the lawn of a park and watch the birds fly. After a few hours of enjoying the world and soaking up the sun, she returned home with a peaceful feeling in her heart when the sun began to set. And there he stood. Right in front of her door. His jet-black hair as messy as she remembered it, his emerald green eyes as she imagined them. He looked so handsome and strong, but she could see he was exhausted. Though she didn’t know if it was because work was hard these days or because he had been miserable in his soul. He stepped forward and held out a single but beautiful marguerite. She felt herself blushing. He remembered it. Back at Hogwarts, they had a long and comfortable conversation after she had had a fight with her boyfriend Dean. Dean had bought her an enormous bouquet of red roses to make up, but she refused them and broke up with him. At that evening she had been very afflicted because she had thought Dean wouldn’t turn out as such an idiot as Michael Corner. He had joined her in the common room and sat beside her in silence, waiting for her to talk if she needed to. Eventually, she told him about her break-up and told him that she hated roses. She would rather take a single but beautiful marguerite than a thousand red roses. “Hello.” He said. Simple and true. It was amazing how one word of him could affect her the way it did. She felt a billion of butterflies in her stomach as she reached out to take the flower. His smile was charming and she felt herself melt in his eyes once again. “Hi.” She answered. There was a comfortable silence in which they communicated with looks and thoughts. Everything about the last 8 years was forgotten and they both knew she had forgiven him. They smiled shyly at each other before he reached out and took her in a tight embrace. She felt like she had died and was in heaven now. It felt like they never had been apart. Here was where she belonged and she never ever wanted to leave his arms again. He must have felt the same way because he held her even tighter. It was as if his life depended on their embrace. At long last, they slowly pulled apart. They looked at each other, smiling. She felt his arm around her waist as she searched for her keys. When they stepped inside, he looked around impressed. They sat down on the couch and still didn’t speak a word. The silence lasted for ages, but they both felt comfortable with it. After all, she spoke first. “I went to the Post Office today. I wrote you a letter.” Her voice was soft and low. She could see the amazement in his eyes. “I couldn’t be away from you anymore. These past 8 years I have been miserable. I missed Ron and Hermione and your family. But most of all I missed you.” His voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes were suddenly so full of sadness that it nearly tore her apart. He thought that she wanted to blame him. Of course, it had been his decision, but now he was here with her. He came back to her and that was all that mattered to her. “I missed you too. But I never gave up hope that I would see you again. Do you know why?” she asked looking him straight in the eyes. He gazed back at her like he had so many times before when he needed an answer. He didn’t need to voice the question because she already knew it. “Because, I love you.” Silent tears made their way down her cheeks as she looked at him. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know at the moment. He took her chin into his hand and slowly leant towards her. His head tilted slightly as his soft lips brushed hers. It was paradise. The kiss she had waited for so long. And even after so many years of imagination, it was better than she ever thought a kiss could be. His lips were so soft on hers and his taste was so wonderful she didn’t think she ever wanted to taste anything different. Reluctantly they broke away after a long time to catch some air. She cuddled herself to his chest and breathed in his beautiful scent. As he stroked her hair softly, she had the feeling that she wouldn’t have to lie down in her bed alone every night. They fell asleep cuddled up together on the couch, both happy. And although they both knew there were hard times ahead when he was away as an Auror, they wanted to savour the moments they had together. She woke the next morning to the sound of birds twittering and to the scent of freshly brewed tea and toast. No that can’t be, she was still dreaming. But as she slowly opened her eyes, she realised it had all been reality. He came back last night and they had confessed their love to each other. She got up and slowly walked into the kitchen. The table was set for two and in the middle stood – in a beautiful crystal vase – a single marguerite. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He said, turning around as she entered. She looked at him in amazement. This was it – this was her dream come true. She didn’t think it would be possible that she could love him even more. But at this very moment she did. She fell in love with him even deeper. “Happy Birthday, Gin.” He gave her a gentle kiss and then sat her down at the table. You see she's Turning the key, unlocking the door Embracing the roller coaster world Stepping outside with body and soul Taking whatever future holds Turning the key, unlocking the door Embracing the roller coaster world Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five You know we've all been hurt before We've all been hurt before See you're not alone, no You're not alone After they had a delicious birthday-breakfast, the young lovers decided to go outside, as it was another warm and sunny spring day. They wanted to spend some time together before they would be heading to the Burrow in the afternoon to meet her family and celebrate her birthday. When she unlocked the door and stepped outside hand in hand with him she knew that the world was full of secrets and surprises and she wouldn’t have to face them all on her own. He would be at her side knowing how she felt because he felt it too. The End |
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