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SIYE Time:9:16 on 28th March 2024
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Harry Potter and the Preeminent Pumpkin Patch Ploy
By Aggiebell

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Category: Post-DH/PM
Characters:Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Other, Ron Weasley
Genres: Comedy, Fluff
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 8
Summary: Ron's being a prat. Again. It's not a problem, though, because Ginny's got a plan.
Hitcount: Story Total: 3770



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
Written for the Autumn Fest at hg_seasonsfest on Livejournal for doraeazure, who asked for light and sweet, happy, fluffy, comedic escapism.

Many thanks to my betas, sherylyn, ohginnyfan, and rose_starr, who are totally awesome.




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"That pumpkin is…huge," Harry said conversationally, leaning against the doorframe and biting his lip to keep from laughing. It was a near thing. When he'd walked into The Burrow's kitchen after hugging Molly and shaking Arthur's hand, he'd not expected…this. He had expected to see Ginny, true. He just hadn't expected to see her standing on a stool and bent arse over elbows with her head and shoulders stuck deep into the middle of a giant pumpkin.

Not that he was arguing. It was a very nice view, after all, and one he always appreciated. In fact, right now he appreciated it even more than he normally might, since he hadn't seen it for the past twenty-nine hours.

Some might call him whipped, but twenty-nine hours was a long time to go without seeing one's girlfriend, and he wasn't ashamed to admit it, even if she was the type to climb head first into a pumpkin for reasons he had yet to determine.

"Harry!" she said as she pulled herself out of the depths of the pumpkin, bringing its insides with her–she had a few seeds clinging to her hair and stringy pulp hanging from her right shoulder. "It's about time you got here!"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I spend sixteen hours out in the field training to be an Auror, and that’s the greeting I get?"

"Ron isn't with you, is he?" she asked, brushing ineffectively at the pumpkin guts sticking to her jumper.

"Here," he said, smiling at her as he stepped closer to her and drew out his wand, "let me." He cast a gentle Scourgify at her clothes and the pumpkin pieces disappeared.

"Thanks," Ginny said, flashing him a grin. "What about Ron? Is he with you?"

"No, he decided to go to Hermione's first, and then they’re going to come over here together. I reckon we've got a few hours before he gets here, don’t you?"

"Brilliant! That should give us plenty of time."

"Plenty of time for what?" he asked. She had a glint in her eye and it was making him a bit nervous.

"Plenty of time to get things set up, of course. Grab that, will you?" she said, pointing at the giant pumpkin she'd just been disembowelling.

"Erm…why?" He was hesitant to ask–he wasn't really sure he wanted to know. And that glint in her eye… Well. It got him in trouble every time, didn't it?

"We're pranking Ron," Ginny said matter-of-factly, gathering her wand, some black muslin, some candles, and a few more supplies he assumed she thought they needed.

He stared at her. "We're…"

"Pranking Ron," she repeated, slowly this time, like she thought he was dense. "He deserves it, the prat, and you know me. I can't let him get away with it."

"Okay," he said just as slowly. "What, exactly, aren't we letting him get away with?"

"Trying to get us together, of course. " She turned towards the door. "Don't forget the pumpkin."

"Hang on," Harry said, confused, "aren't we already together?" He pulled out his wand and levitated the pumpkin. The thing was almost as big as he was; there was no way he could carry it by hand without dropping it. "Didn’t I ask you two weeks ago? And didn't you say yes?"

"Of course I did. You know that."

"So what's the problem, then? It's not like he's pushing us to do something we don't want to do."

"I know that," she said, "and you know that. And my parents and Bill and Fleur know it, too. Even Charlie, Percy and George know. Ron, however, apparently missed the memo."

"How could he have… Oh, wait. He was off in the corner with Hermione, wasn't he?" He took a step towards her, directing the pumpkin to move in front of him. "So instead of just telling him, like a civilised person would…" He trailed off as she opened the door. A few leaves swirled around their feet as the wind pushed them through the door into the kitchen.

Ginny stopped. "Harry, Harry, Harry. And you call yourself a Weasley. Honestly."

"Well, no. I call myself a Potter, actually," he said, smirking.

"Aren't you the funny one?" she said, giving him a look. "We don't just tell people things in this family, Harry. It has to be a big production. You know that."

"Well, yes, but–"

"But nothing. Sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do."

"'You've got to do what you've got to do'? Really?"

"Oh, shut it, you," she said. "You know what I mean. Besides, it's Ron. And a giant pumpkin. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to help."

He managed to hold off for all of five seconds before he caved. "All right, fine. You win. What's the plan?"

.o.


The plan, Harry learned a few minutes later, was nothing short of insane. Or brilliant. He wasn't sure which.

"So, let me get this straight," he said, watching her as she set the scene. "We've got these pumpkins here in the pumpkin patch…"

"Uh-huh."

"And we're using this giant pumpkin for, what, again?"

"To prove a point," she said distractedly. "Do you think this looks better like this, or should I spread these pumpkins out more?"

"They're fine like that," he said.

"You're sure? Because for this to work, I need the pumpkin patch to look…sincere. And convincing, you know?"

"They look perfect. Very sincere," he said, then continued, determined not to be distracted from sussing out what Ginny was up to. "And then what?"

"You could be a little more helpful," she said. "This is never going to work if I have to do this on my own."

Harry threw up his hands in frustration. "I don't even know what we're doing, Ginny. We come out here and set up this very sincere and convincing pumpkin patch–"

"Now you're just being sarcastic," she said, glaring at him.

"And your point is?"

"My point is that sarcasm isn't helpful, and I'm more likely to be in an accommodating mood if you're helpful," she said pertly, tapping her wand against her leg.

"Right. Helpful it is, then. What do you need me to do?"

.o.


It had taken another half hour, but they'd finally finished after rearranging the pumpkins no less than seven times. "Are you sure this is going to work?" he asked, looking around the pumpkin patch. He had to admit it looked good.

"Of course, I'm sure," she said. "What do you take me for?"

He shouldn't have answered. He knew he shouldn't have answered. He was a smart man, right? And yet…he couldn't help himself. "Well…there have been times I've wondered about that. I mean, you're gorgeous and funny and full of fire, but there are other times…" He ducked and grinned at her when she scooped a handful of leaves off the ground and threw them at him.

"You might not want to finish that thought," she warned him, giving him a pointed look.

"Right," he said, still grinning. "Of course I don't. Are we done here?"

She looked around, then turned to him and nodded. "At least until Ron and Hermione arrive. Why?"

"Thought you might want to go on a walk," he said. "It's a beautiful day, and there's privacy on the path."

She smirked. "Whatever might we need privacy for, Harry Potter?"

He tried to look innocent, but he could tell by the look on her face that he'd failed miserably. "Ginny," he said, "you're not really going to make me tell you that I want privacy so I can snog you until you can't remember your name, are you?" He winked at her. "Because that would be just cruel."

She shook her head at him and rolled her eyes, taking a step closer to him. "Poor Harry, had to go a whole day–"

"It's been almost thirty-six hours now," he protested.

"Fine," she said. "You had to go a whole day and a half without a kiss. You'd think you were going to pine away into nothingness or something."

"Maybe nothing quite so dramatic," he said smiling. He moved up next to her, taking in her scent — vanilla with a hint of cinnamon and, of course, pumpkin. "But I did miss you,” he continued, “so can we?" He held his hand out to her and gestured to the path that led towards the forest behind The Burrow.

"Of course," she said, grabbing his hand. "We've got some time. Besides, we don't need to be here for the charm to work. Let's go."

.o.


They walked hand in hand along the path, the leaves crunching underneath their feet. "I love autumn," Ginny said, squeezing Harry's hand as they walked. "I love the smell and the sounds and the crisp air. I hate to be stuck indoors on days like this. It's much better to be outside."

"Thus the prank on your brother?" he said dryly.

She grinned. "Well, that was definitely part of it. Plus, Mum had so many pumpkins, I just had to do something with them, or we’d be eating pumpkins into the next century."

"Are we going to be yelled at for using them?" he asked. "I know your mum, and she's not one to stand for waste."

"Oh, no, she'll be fine with it," Ginny said, brushing off Harry's concern. "She had too many, anyway. There was no way she'd ever be able to use them all."

"What was she going to do with all of them, then?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Pumpkin juice, pumpkin loaf, pumpkin pasties. pumpkin soup… We've got enough of that–plus some flesh–put up and canned to last us a year at least. We even made some beauty potions out of some of them."

"You can make beauty potions out of pumpkin?"

"You'd be surprised at all the things you can find in beauty products." She wrinkled her nose at him, looking a little disgusted. "At least I was able to convince her that the pumpkin pie she wanted to try really wasn't a good idea. Anyway, we've got no more room to store all those pumpkin products in the cupboard–or in Dad's storage shed–so all those we just used were extras."

Harry nodded, glad to know they weren't going to get in trouble. Even though he was an adult, he still didn't want to disappoint Molly Weasley. "So I don't have to worry getting a Howler from your mother while I'm at the Ministry, then?"

"Silly Harry," she said, rolling her eyes. "As if my mum would ever yell at you."

He raised his eyebrow at her. "There was that one time…"

Her cheeks turned a becoming pink. "Harry, I thought we said we'd never mention that again," she scolded. But she was smiling at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

He shrugged. "You mean like the way we never mention how I fell off my broom in the middle of the last Weasley family Quidditch match?"

"Exactly like that," she said, laughing.

He stopped and turned to look at her, enjoying the way her hair caught in the wind and blew around her, looking quite like flames. "You look like you belong out here, with your hair like that," he said, catching some of it and letting his fingers get caught in it. He stared at the contrast of the reds against the skin of his hand. "All red and orange, with your eyes sparkling. You're beautiful."

"Harry… You're just saying that because you missed me."

"No, Ginny, I mean it, even if I have been trying to play the sympathy card after not seeing you for a whole day." He gave her a cheeky grin, but he felt it slide off his face as he looked at her and told her seriously, "I don't tell you enough, but you are."

"Thank you," she said, nudging his shoulder with hers. "You're not too shabby yourself."

His lips quirked. "Here I am trying to be serious, and there you go cracking jokes again."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh, very mature," he said, turning serious again. "Ginny, you know I mean it, right? I just…I want you to know that it's true. You are beautiful, even if you don't see it."

She smiled and put her hand on his cheek. "Thank you, Harry," she said, "it means a lot to me that you think that."

"Wanna show me how much you appreciate it?" he asked, winking at her. He never was able to be serious around her for very long; being around her just made him want to laugh. He loved that about her. "Because I'd be willing, if you were–"

"You'd be willing," she murmured, shaking her head at him, clearly amused at the obviousness of his ploy. "Of course you would." She dropped her hand from his cheek to his shoulder and stepped closer to him.

"Not subtle enough?" he asked. "I can do better if you let me try again."

"Harry," she said, raising up on her toes and pulling his head down until his mouth hovered just centimetres from hers, "would you please stop talking and kiss me?"

Who was he to argue with an order like that?

He lowered his mouth to meet hers, and she slid her hand from his shoulder around to the back of his neck. She toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, and it made him catch his breath; he could feel her smile as his lips slanted across hers. They kissed for what seemed like only seconds but might have been an eternity as far as he knew, and when he finally pulled back from her, he was pleased to see her lips were swollen and she was breathing just as hard as he was.

"Wow," he said, trying to catch his breath. "That was…"

"Wow," she agreed. "We should do that again, don't you think? Just to make sure we know what we're doing? Hermione always tells me that 'practice makes perfect.'"

Well. He couldn't let good advice like that go to waste, now could he? What kind of friend would that have made him? So he did what any smart man would've done: he leaned his head down and kissed her again.

.o.


He'd been right, he learned when he and Ginny finally made their way back to the pumpkin patch: Ginny's plan had been both insane and brilliant. Judging by the way Hermione and George were staring at Ron as he cowered in the corner of the pumpkin patch, it was also highly effective.

"Bloody hell," Ron said, dodging a small pumpkin, which was shouting a message as it came flying towards him. He just barely escaped from that one when a second pumpkin came at him from another direction, and then a third and fourth followed suit.

Harry was impressed. The pumpkins almost looked like they were doing a carefully choreographed dance, the way they dove and flew around Ron's head and shoulders.

But it was the final act of the prank that truly showcased the brilliance that was Ginny Weasley. The giant pumpkin Ginny had placed out in the garden levitated itself off the ground, opened charmed eyes and a mouth, and spoke, the voice ringing out across the garden. "Ronald Weasley! Harry's already asked Ginny to be his girlfriend. She said yes! If you paid more attention instead of snogging Hermione every second of every day, you'd already know this." Harry was impressed; whatever Ginny had done when she'd cast the charm had made her voice almost unrecognizable.

Then it spat a slurry of pumpkin seeds and guts all over Ron, covering him in the gooey mess.

Harry and Ginny burst out into laughter.

"What the… Did you two do this?" Ron asked after he managed to clear the pumpkin from his eyes. He had strings of pumpkin hanging from his hair, and his face bore a distinctly orange tint.

"Who, us?" Ginny said innocently.

"I thought you liked orange, Ron," Harry said, trying not to laugh at Ron as he tried to clean the pumpkin off his jumper.

He gave them a dirty look. "Very funny."

"I thought it was," George said from his spot by the fence. "And you can't say I didn't warn you. I thought there was something suspicious about a pumpkin patch that just mysteriously appeared while we were gone." He turned to Ginny and Harry. "Brilliant job, by the way. You do know, of course, that if you ever decide your current slacker career as an Auror isn't working out for you, we've got a place for you at WWW."

"I'll keep that in mind," Harry said. "Just in case."

"See that you do, old chap," George said, stepping back from the fence surrounding the pumpkin patch. "I need to see if there’s a way to market this charm, though. Gin-Gin, we might need to talk about how you did this. This is a brilliant piece of magic, you know.”

Hermione sidled closer to them. "I don't suppose it occurred to you to just tell Ron you two were a couple?"

"Oh, Hermione," Harry said, "don't you know? We Weasleys don't tell anyone anything. It has to be a big production. You should know that. Look at the pratty things Ron’s done over the years."

"Oh, so you're a Weasley, now, are you, Potter?" Ginny teased. "I thought you weren't claiming us."

He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Very mature, Harry. Very mature," she said, grinning. He winked at her in response.

George clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Eh. He's still got some work to do, but we'll make a Weasley out of ickle Potterkins yet."

"Thank you for your vote of confidence, George," Harry said dryly, nudging Ginny's shoulder with his.

They turned to walk back to The Burrow, leaving Ron in the middle of the pumpkin patch, still trying to dodge the pumpkins.

"You really are brilliant," Harry said, squeezing Ginny's hand.

"Why, thank you," she replied. "That Howler at the end was a nice touch, I have to admit."

"It was a very clever prank," Hermione said.

"Harry?" Ron shouted. He'd managed to shoot a few of the pumpkins out of the air, but the rest were too fast for him. "Harry! Ginny? Hermione? George? Oi! What about me?"

"Are we just going to leave him there?" Harry asked, turning back to look at Ron.

Ginny shrugged. "Maybe next time he'll pay more attention."

A/N #2 The idea of a "sincere and convincing" pumpkin patch came from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, by Charles Schulz.
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