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Voldemort Wears Gucci
By tangle elfwand

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Category: Mary Sue Challenge (2009-3)
Characters:None
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: Mild Sexual Situations
Rating: PG
Reviews: 9
Summary: How on earth can Voldy get at Harry? Simple... all he needs is a plan, a can-do spirit and an amazingly beautiful girl who can do nearly anything.
Hitcount: Story Total: 3239



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
I never got this done, but I realised I really, really wanted to post something for this challenge. It's only about 1,000 words, but I'm going to add heaps to it just for the hell of it. The story is oddly calming to write. It barely meets any requirements though. Well, there's some tree-engraving, one of my fanfic pet hates. That's all I had time for though. Pathetic, I know :(




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“My Lord, we have finally found her,” An evil minion, small and inferior like all of Lord Voldemort's henchmen (he had a height complex) had just delivered the greatest news in The Dark Lord's recent memory.

“Send her in,” he hissed. The doors to his extensive mountaintop lair opened with a groan. Standing in the light was a teenage girl so stunning it almost hurt to look at her.

Chestnut hair cascaded down her body lovingly, accentuating her perfect clear blue eyes and coral pink lips. She pranced into the room, which was difficult as she held a large amount of material and general sewing-type things. But of course, she did so perfectly, daintily, almost godlike. The woman was clearly sent from some kind of Dark Heaven. After dumping her bundle on the desk Voldemort could see she wore a plaid dress with stilettos so high it was amazing she still had both of her feet. She bowed low, allowing him a nice view of her... well let's just say it was a nice view.

“Your name, child?” He asked kindly, getting a shocked response from the unnamed minion as well as Bellatrix, who had resorted to wearing black leather minidresses in order to attract The Dark Lord's attention. Naturally, he crucio'ed the both of them for even questioning his demeanor.

A high-pitched, adorable giggle escaped the girl's mouth. Even Bellatrix, as twisted and sexually frustrated as she was, could not deny the overall cuteness of this girl. “My name, Lord Voldemort?” She said in her crisp Southern American accent. A collective gasp went around the room at the girl's insolence to speak his name, but Voldemort merely gave out a mighty, old-man-impressed-by-youth's-tenacity laugh. “I am Marigold Aurora Enchantress Sue, but most people just call me Baby. I've been in the fashion business for a few years now. What exactly were you looking for?”

“I need to defeat Harry Potter once and for all,” A large amount of lightning supported this sentence, which while unnecessary certainly added to the ambiance of the place. Baby simply nodded and waved her wand (pink, of course) and her samples and needles came to life. She looked at them skeptically before making a few more wand motions which caused them to form a rough outline of the costume.

“What do you think?”

“It's genius.”

A Couple of Weeks Later...

It was a glorious spring day at Hogwarts, with birds and pretty things all over the grounds. The students were all busy swimming in the lake, feeding the Giant Squid or snogging in the most secluded areas of the grounds, unaware that everyone could still see them no matter how hard they tried. One such couple was Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, who were sitting by an old oak tree having a romantic candlelit picnic.

“Thanks for not giving me a hard time about the candle, Ginny.” Harry said with his cute crooked smile that made Ginny want to do unspeakable things to him. Instead she filled her mouth in typical Weasley fashion and ruffled his hair.

“It's the thought that counts, even if it is two in the afternoon,” she reasoned, using her newly-discovered fire weilding abilities to heat a sausage roll. Everyone was amazed at this power until she explained that the power was limited to a small puff of flame, similar to that of a cigarette lighter. It did come in handy with candlelit picnics though.

The rest of their afternoon was spent eating, snogging, talking, snogging, and then finally snogging. It was after this recent snogging session that Harry, hair full of leaves and a very frightened bird, noticed a strange mark on the old tree. Curious, he leant in closer to find the initials 'L.E + J.P' carved into the bark.

“My parents,” was all he whispered, and Ginny followed his gaze before giving a very unladylike snort.

“Yeah Harry, it's your mum and dad. Not Lewis Edwards and Jasmine Peters from fifth year, or Lisa Edgeworth and John Patterson that graduated last year. There are a lot of 'L.E's and 'J.P's that have gone to this school. Everything in this world doesn't revolve around you!” The devastated look on his face was enough to shut Ginny up, and for the sake of his mental health she agreed that his parents had made their mark about thirty years ago.

“I know what we should do,” He said with bright enthusiasm.

“I swear if it involves engraving our names next to their's you've got another thing coming,” She was, once again, persuaded by his look of desperate teenage angst. Harry pulled out his wand and carved their initials with it. He stood back to admire his handiwork.

“Done.”

“Harry, my name starts with a G.”

“But it's Jinny, right?”

“With a G, not a J. But it doesn't matter right now, we'll be late for Professor Dumbledore's special announcement if we don't hurry.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the castle, neglecting the fact that they still had parts of the grounds in their hair and Ginny only had five of her ten blouse buttons done up. Needless to say they got a few glares (and in Ginny's case, appreciative glances) on their way to Gryffindor's table. The second they were seated Dumbledore rose, and gave another of his awe-inspiring speeches.

“My first order of business is to introduce two new students to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Both will be making Gryffindor their home, so may I introduce to you Marigold Sue, a transfer from Albuquerque School of Beautiful Witches, and Rick Astley, a home schooled young man who enjoys magic, the light, and not ordering around an army of followers. I'm sure Gryffindor will make you right at home, children.” The crowd turned to see the newcomers, only to gasp at the amazing beauty of Marigold. Even in Hogwarts robes she managed to look extraordinary and incredibly sexy. No one paid any attention to the tall, snake-faced 'boy' next to her, captivated by her as they were. Their disguises worked a charm, and Voldemort and Marigold had successfully infiltrated the last place of refuge for Harry Potter.
Reviews 9
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