Harry's Patented Daydream Charm
A/N: This is an outtake from Chapter Four of The New Zealand Chronicles. wvchemteach asked me what Harry's daydream was like and Dragen wanted to hear some of the story from Harry's PoV.
Warning: There be pirates here. And puffy shirts.
Disclaimer: The characters are JKR's and the puffy shirts are from Seinfeld.
Harry stared at the dusty lower shelves of the Weasley's Wizard
Wheezes storeroom and fumed. Here he was, a year after defeating
the most powerful Dark Wizard ever known, trussed up in a Full-Body
Bind like a hapless First Year. The greater shame, however, was that
this had not been done to him by an enemy.
No, he had been hexed and bound by his soon-to-be brothers-in-law -
Fred, George, and -
The muscles in his jaw clenched.
Ron.
'They had their reasons,' they assured him as they panted from their
efforts of subduing him. He was 'too unstable' to seek out the
photographer and the reporters and editors who had splashed his and
Ginny's picture all over the papers. They would 'handle it' so as not to
bring on any more 'bad publicity.' They were her brothers; it was their
job to protect her.
Anger surged through him as he recalled that last reassurance. Ginny
was not theirs to protect. She was his. And they were depriving him of
the pleasure of hexing each and every person in the wizarding media
who had leant a hand in dishonoring Ginny's name and reputation.
But his first pleasure - once he wriggled out of this curse - was going
to be hexing the traitorous Weasley brothers into oblivion. This lot and
then Percy and Charlie and Bill, too - just because he was in that
unreasonable of a mood.
He tried to tilt his head so he could locate his wand, but of course he
couldn't move an inch. Fortunately, while Ron had taken sides with
Fred and George in the fight, he at least had had the common decency
to leave Harry's wand next to him.
It had been awhile since he had performed wandless magic, but after
much struggle, he managed to ease a portion of the curse that was
paralyzing him. Now he could lift his head, he had one finger that
worked and he had a belly full of rage.
It would do.
He collapsed his head back on to the floor, tired from the ungainly
fight that had landed him here in the first place. He would have
escaped if he hadn't fallen for Fred's ruse.
His face flamed as he realized he should have used a full strength
Squid Hex on Fred and let those tentacles wrap around Fred's throat
until he blacked out. That's what he thought had happened when Fred
clutched his neck and stared at him with wide-eyed horror. George had
quickly gone along with the trick. Harry! You're choking him. Call it off.
Of course he had lowered his wand. And then Ron caught him in the
face with a Stunner.
Ron. That muscle in his jaw twitched. What kind of a friend kept you
from seeking revenge?
He struggled to throw off more of the curse, but he couldn't. He was
under three different versions of the Full-Body Bind. Knowing Fred and
George, their version would be making him sing soprano for a week if
he tried to fight it.
Then he realized, with grim satisfaction, that while he couldn't use this
time to seek revenge on the media, he could at least cause trouble for
Fred and George. He was in their storeroom and he had a wand. He
could mess with their products. That would serve them right.
The only problem was that the storeroom was practically empty, since
they were selling most of their merchandise as fast as they could make
it. Only boxes of the Patented Day Dream Charm were available to
tamper with.
He would have to give one of those Charms a go first. That way he
could figure out how to use it against them. With great difficulty, he
extended his free finger and touched his wand, concentrating on
activating the Charm.
A tiny gnat silently appeared in front of his nose. He stared at it cross-
eyed until it winged its way to his ear. "Are you alone or in public?" the
gnat asked.
"Alone," Harry murmured.
A white light appeared in front of his startled eyes and then expanded
so that Harry was surrounded by misty white. It looked like he was
standing in a dry cloud.
"What do you want?" a voice asked.
"Revenge," he answered promptly.
The white cloud thinned so that colors and shapes began to appear - a
dark sea under a full moon and the wooden deck of a ship. Then he
saw himself dressed like a pirate in tight leather pants and a ridiculous
puffy white shirt. He was so impatient for the revenge part to begin,
that he didn't bother to correct the magic that had him wearing that.
Although, now that he thought about it, pirates did dress in this
manner - albeit their clothes were probably never that nice nor had
any pirate's hair ever looked that good.
His hair had never looked that good. This Daydream hair wasn't at all
messy - the dark locks sort of flowed over his head. The minute he
wondered if his hair would stay like that throughout the daydream, a
balmy breeze made the sails flap, but his hair stayed put.
Awesome.
Why a pirate ship had its sails up in the middle of the night - and why
the ship wasn't moving - didn't take away from the feeling of the
daydream. He was Captain Potter of The Firebolt - with perfect hair -
and no one was going to mess with him.
His euphoria was interrupted when he heard a giggle and small splash.
Looking over the side, he saw that it was Ginny, treading water and
wearing nothing but a smile. "Swim with me," she invited.
In his Daydream he could swim like a Merman. He shucked off the
spotless shirt and noted that he now had a well-defined chest and
more muscular arms. No wonder he needed the generous fit a puffy shirt,
he thought proudly.
Ginny-in-the-water also looked impressed with his fine physique and
his noiseless dive into the sea.
"Beat you to that island," he challenged when he came up for air.
"Okay." Her eyes glinted with fun. Then she put her arms over her
head - which made both Daydream Harry and real Harry moan with
appreciation - and then dove out of view, her iridescent Mermaid tail
swishing seductively.
Ginny had an iridescent Mermaid tail? His brain really was playing
tricks on him, but it was a nice tail - all curvy and smooth and pretty .
. .
Ginny was racing ahead without him.
Daydream Harry put his powerful muscles to good use and managed
to reach the shallow lagoon of the island at the same time Ginny did.
Her tail had conveniently dissolved so that she was standing in the
chest-high water on two legs - two legs that she effortlessly managed
to wrap around his waist.
Stupid Full-Body Bind was confining everything, real Harry thought,
wincing. Daydream Ginny was oblivious to his problem since she was
busy trying to mess up his perfect hair. "What happened to your hair?"
"Um - " He tried (and failed) to look sufficiently modest about his
perfect hair.
"I don't like it," she declared. "It looks fake."
"It is fake," he retorted. "This is my daydream, you know." He then
had two fleeting thoughts - that Ginny, even in a daydream, was
going to do and say what she wanted - and that discomfort that he
had been feeling earlier was effectively diminished. He had to give
Fred and George grudging respect for that feature of the Charm.
"Can you change it?" she asked, moving away.
"Yes," he answered hastily, wanting her to wrap those legs around him
again. In the blink of an eye, his hair was at its unruly worst. "Can I
keep my chest?" he asked, annoyed.
"Can I keep mine?" she answered, looking down.
He was just about to reply that in his daydreams her chest always
looked like that, when Ginny's eyes widened. Whirling around, he saw
that a black ship had skulked into their lagoon. Its gun ports were
open and its photo canons were firing with blinding flashes.
"It's The Paparazzi!" Ginny shrieked.
The Pirate Paparazzi, with evil Captain Skeeter at the helm, had
intruded into their private moment.
Providentially, Daydream Harry kept his wand in his hair and was able
to simultaneously set the Pirate Paparazzi's sails on fire, Side-along
Apparate both of them back to the ship (where they both appeared
fully clothed) and caused the noon day sun to shine.
"Fred-George-Ron!" He barked out. "Paparazzi Pirates on the starboard
side!"
His crew didn't look ready for any kind of a fight. "Which is the
starboard side?" George asked sleepily. He, like Fred, was still wearing
his night things and rubbing his eyes. Ron was holding a steaming
mug of coffee.
"The left?" Ron hazarded. "I can never remember. Just like I can never
tell you two apart - even though Harry can." He took a sip of coffee.
"How do you do that all the time? From our first year on you could tell
them apart."
"This isn't the time-"
"Because that's what Harry does," Ginny answered. "Which is why I'm
marrying him - which is why you should let him handle these Paparazzi
Pirates in his own way."
Daydream Ginny was just as loyal as real Ginny, Harry thought
happily.
"Don't you think that neckline is a little daring?" Fred asked, ignoring
both Ginny's statement and the fact that the Paparazzi ship had sailed
along side of them.
Ginny pulled her wand out of the low bodice and hexed her bother just
as Harry's curse hit him. The bat wings on Fred's face fluttered angrily
at the squid's tentacles on his neck.
"Harry-"
Harry ignored Ron who was moodily looking over the rim of his coffee
mug at the Paparazzi ship. Instead, Harry shimmed up the main sail,
grabbed a convenient rope, and swung over to the enemy ship.
Once on board, his muscled wand arm shook with the effort of
dispelling so much magic so quickly, but his foes were unable to keep
up with his exploits. Notepads burst into flames, Quick Quote Quills
hemorrhaged ink, and the deck of the ship was littered with exposed
film. It was a glorious fight - which Harry was raging alone.
Shockingly, he realized this only after Captain Skeeter pointed it out
and then inquired how he felt about such a betrayal from his new
family.
Harry didn't bother answering her, but swung back to The Firebolt
using another convenient rope.
His booted feet hit the deck with a clatter. Harry took a moment to
admire the boots - they were dark leather - very soft - but heavy
soled.
"Harry!" Ginny shrieked.
Bill and Charlie and Percy were surrounding Ginny, attempting to force
her below deck where she would be safe. Her bosom heaved, but
Harry kept his sights on the real prize - revenge on the Weasley
brothers - all of them. Besides, six-to-one odds sounded so much
cooler than three-to-one odds.
"Perfidy! Traitors!" he shouted, casting a Rope Charm around the three
eldest brothers and drawing them away from Ginny.
"Harry-"
He once again ignored Ron, since a thin Rope Charm was not a
problem for three skilled wizards. He was glad they were skilled, since
fights - especially Daydream fights - were no fun if they were over too
quickly.
"Harry, you're acting like an ass," Ron blurted.
Harry whirled around. "What?" No one called him an ass in his
daydream - not even his best mate.
"Well, you are," Ron said reasonably. "The Paparazzi ship still has all of
its camera canons trained on you. Captain Skeeter has gone through
three notepads already. And you're wearing a puffy shirt."
Harry looked down at his still-pristine shirt. "So? I like it."
"We're just trying to save you from you," Ron persisted.
Damn it all to hell, Ron was right. And since when was reality allowed
to encroach upon a daydream? The effects of the Charm were starting
to wear off and the floor of the storeroom was getting stonier by
minute.
Harry concentrated on his daydream with all his might.
A hail of Stunners from the Weasleys. A languid Shield Charm from
Harry, and then a quick drop and roll to hide behind a coil of rope.
Harry Transfigured the rope into a snake, which was carried away by a
Transfigured dragon, which was shot out of the air by one of Harry's
heavy boots.
In spite of his genuine anger, it was turning into a fun fight.
"Harry!"
Fred, George and Ron were back in the shop and were presumably
going to let him out of the Full-Body Bind. He would make sure his
Daydream reflected his displeasure with them.
A vision of the six Weasley brothers chained in a dank cell awaited
them. Ginny, in her tight blouse, was hanging on to his arm. The
dragon was contentedly chewing on Harry's boot.
"Got into the Daydream Charms," Fred observed from the doorway.
"We can be thankful he was an angry wizard today and not a lusty
one," George said, shaking his head in amusement. "I wouldn't want
to see that Daydream."
"What the hell are you wearing?" Ron exclaimed as he stared at the
scene over Harry's head.
Harry's face burned. He had forgotten about the leather pants and the
shirt. Not only had he been bested in a real fight, now his own dreams
had betrayed him.
"I think the outfit's very nice," George defended.
"A bit swishy don't you think?" Fred mused.
"But it shows off his - er - enhanced - "
"Shut up!" Harry's eyes bore into Ron. "If you ever want to call me
friend again, you will lift the Curse."
Ron reluctantly took out his wand.
"It will wear off eventually," Harry reminded him through gritted teeth.
"So you might as well get on with it."
Once all of the magical bonds had been dissolved, Harry stood up and
faced his captors.
"Harry, we know you're angry -" Fred began.
"But you'll find that it was worth having Dad and Percy and Bill
involved."
"Lawsuits have been filed," Ron reassured him.
"Stays of something have been executed," George added.
Harry could feel some of the tension leave his body. At least
something was being done against the tabloids.
"And all of these injuries were worth it to us, too," Fred said solemnly.
"Who would have thought we would have the chance to see Pirate
Potter?"
"And his Weasley Wench?" Fred added, ducking behind Ron.