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Learning to Let Go | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst, Fluff Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 26 Summary: Harry is angry with Ron and Hermione, and Ginny plays peacemaker. Not a lot of plot to this one, just my idea of how Ginny might be able to help Harry with certain things. One-shot. Hitcount: Story Total: 5787 |
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Harry Potter walked through the mostly empty corridors of Hogwarts, heading back towards Gryffindor Tower. It was early evening, and Harry couldn’t believe his good luck. He had expected this evening to be filled with a tedious scraping of cauldron bottoms, or scrubbing of the dungeon floor with a toothbrush, or whatever worse thing Snape could think of. Snape was excellent of thinking of horrible methods of punishment for students who landed in his detentions, as Harry knew only too well. He had already spent a lot of time in detention with Snape this year. But tonight, Dumbledore had sent Snape on some mission or other for the Order (not that they would let Harry in on what that mission was), and his detention had been canceled. Harry was jubilant, although in the back of his mind he knew he’d probably be back in detention next week, or even sooner than that if he ran into Snape in the corridors or something. He needed to learn how to control his temper, he knew, but he just hated Snape so much! He found it almost impossible after the events of last year to bite his tongue during Potions class when Snape was being his usual nasty self. Despite the loud admonitions of Hermione Granger and the silent support of Ron Weasley, his two best friends, Harry found himself in a verbal sparring match with Snape almost every lesson, and of course, Snape always won. It was so unfair! Snape hated him because of the way Harry’s Dad had bullied him back when they were in school together. Harry knew this. But did that make it right for Snape to then turn around and be an even worse bully to Harry and his friends? And it was his fault that Sirius… Harry cut that thought off quickly, although his insides still burned with anger. Instead, he tried to focus his thoughts on the happy fact that he could now spend the evening with his friends instead of Snape. He quickened his steps even more as he neared the portrait hole. Maybe he and Ron could have a quick game of chess before they settled down to their mountain of homework. But Ron and Hermione were nowhere to be found as he entered the Common Room. He spotted Ron’s little sister, Ginny, studying with her girlfriends near the fireplace and walked over. “Hey, Ginny,” he said. “Have you seen Ron and Hermione?” “Hi Harry,” she answered brightly, glancing around the room. “No, sorry. I haven’t seen them. Maybe they’re in the library?” “Yeah, probably. I’ll try there next. Thanks anyway,” he said and started to walk away, but Ginny called out after him. “Hey, Harry? Didn’t you have detention with Snape again tonight?” “Yeah,” he said. “But it got canceled at the last minute.” “Lucky you,” Ginny said, and grinned. Harry couldn’t help grinning back. “See you later, Ginny.” Harry ran up the stairs to the empty Sixth Year boys’ dormitory. If Ron and Hermione were in the library, he might as well bring along his books, too. As he opened his trunk, he caught a glimpse of the Marauder’s Map peeking out from under his worn copy of Flying with the Cannons. He quickly grabbed it. Might as well double-check that Ron and Hermione were really in the library before he lugged his books all the way down there. A moment later he was glad he had decided to check first, as he didn’t see his friends anywhere in or near the library. Frowning slightly, Harry quickly scanned the rest of the parchment. Where could they be? He finally spotted them walking around in the Astronomy Tower. What in the world were they doing there? Harry tried to remember…had they been assigned any Astronomy homework for that week? He didn’t think so, but maybe he had just forgotten. He better go up there just in case. He quickly cleared the map (“Mischief Managed!”), grabbed his Astronomy textbook, and headed out the door. Ten minutes later he was pulling himself up the last steps of the Astronomy Tower. He couldn’t hear his friend’s voices, which was odd, but Harry didn’t really register that fact until he had stepped through the door out into the cool night air to find his two best friends locked together in a passionate embrace. Ron and Hermione didn’t notice Harry standing there, and he didn’t announce his presence. In fact, he was unable to. He felt frozen to the spot, unable to speak or move. He could only watch as they kissed tenderly, totally wrapped up in each other. His mind was blank. Then, Ron seemed to see Harry out of the corner of his eye. He broke away from Hermione abruptly and exclaimed guiltily, “Harry!” Hermione gasped and turned towards Harry. Her face was bright red. Without a word, Harry turned and walked back through the door. “Harry, no!” He heard Hermione cry out behind him. “Wait! You don’t understand…” Harry only quickened his pace, now descending the stairs at a dangerous rate. He heard footsteps behind him, chasing. He went even faster, but with his long legs Ron had caught up to him by the time he had reached the corridor below. “Harry, wait!” Ron said loudly. “Please, let me explain.” Harry spun around angrily as Hermione caught up to them, tears in her eyes. Harry didn’t care. “What’s to explain?” he yelled. “How are you going to explain away the fact that you’ve both been lying to me? How long has it been, huh?” Ron opened his mouth to answer, but Harry cut him off. “Forget it, I don’t even care,” he seethed. “Just leave me alone from now on, both of you. I’m sure the two of you will be very happy together.” He turned and started to walk away, but Hermione came after him. “Harry, please…” she pleaded, and touched his arm. He threw off her hand violently and yelled, “Leave. Me. ALONE!” Hermione cowered back, a stricken look on her face. Ron came up and stood beside her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. For a moment, Harry just looked at the two of them standing there together. Then he turned away and started walking again. Behind him, he heard Ron say in a low voice, “Hermione, no…just let him go.” Harry began to run. The second weekend after Harry had walked in on Ron and Hermione was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year. That Saturday was a bright and beautiful fall day, but despite this Harry didn’t fancy going down to the village and pretending to have fun, even though Dean and Seamus had invited him to come along with them. Harry was still not speaking to Ron or Hermione, and he had never been more miserable in his life. True, he had fought with Ron and Hermione in the past, but never both of them at the same time. He had always had at least one of them by his side since the first day he came to Hogwarts. And now he was alone. He had no one. No one to study with, eat with, or just goof around with. There was no one left to trust. Sirius had left him. Dumbledore had let him down. And now Ron and Hermione had betrayed him, too. As much as he missed Ron and Hermione, he still couldn’t get himself to forgive them. They had tried on multiple occasions to approach him, both together and one-on-one, but Harry shunned any contact with them. He didn’t want to hear it. Life was wretched. So on that Saturday, instead of having fun with his friends in Honeyduke’s or sipping butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks, he found himself sitting alone under the beech tree on the edge of the lake, watching the stream of students making their way towards the gates and Hogsmeade. Thanks to Ron’s vivid red hair, Harry had no trouble spotting him and Hermione as they joined the throng. No doubt the two of them would have a fabulous time together, Harry thought resentfully. He turned away and threw a small stone into the lake. He watched the expanding ripples on the surface, lost in his angry thoughts. “Mind if I join you?” Harry turned, startled, to see Ginny Weasley standing there, a small smile on her face. “Um, I guess so,” he said, unsure. “Why aren’t you going into Hogsmeade with everyone else?” “Because you and I need to talk, that’s why,” Ginny said resolutely and sat down beside him. “What do we have to talk about?” Harry said, although he thought he knew where this was going. “About this thing going on with you and Ron and Hermione, of course,” she said, flipping her vivid red hair back over her shoulder and staring straight at him. Harry’s first instinct was to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that he did not want to talk about Ron and Hermione and that she should mind her own damn business. But for some reason, he hesitated. All at once he found himself remembering last year, when she had talked to him and helped him feel better about wanting to talk to Sirius, and he found himself opening up to her again. “What about it?” he mumbled, tossing another stone. “Harry, why can’t you forgive them? It’s been almost two weeks now, and I know they’re really sorry…” “Did you know about them?” Harry deflected her question. “You mean about them being together?” Harry nodded. “No, Harry,” Ginny said. “I swear I didn’t. I would have made them tell you if I had. I didn’t know anything about it until Hermione told me about you walking in on them that night.” Harry played with his shoelaces. At least he hadn’t been the only one in the dark. “Although,” Ginny continued when he didn’t answer, “I can’t say I’m surprised, can you? I mean, this has so obviously been coming for such a long time, I can’t believe you didn’t expect something like this, Harry.” “No,” Harry confessed. “I knew they fancied each other. Or at least, I knew Ron fancied her.” “Then why are you so angry?” “Look,” Harry said, and then paused. He wasn’t sure how he could express this. “It’s not the fact that they’re together. I knew that would probably happen eventually. It’s the fact that they didn’t tell me about it when it happened. It’s that they lied to me. They snuck around behind my back. They kept things from me. I feel like I can’t trust them anymore.” “That’s ridiculous, Harry,” Ginny said. “Of course you can still trust them. They’re your best friends…” “Are they?” Harry cut her off angrily. “Ginny, all year long last year nobody told me anything. I was left completely in the dark about almost everything. Ron and Hermione knew how much I hated that. They knew how much it frustrated me. And they knew what happened because of it. And now I find out they’ve been doing that very same thing to me! What kind of friend does that?” “A well-intentioned one might,” Ginny answered. Harry snorted derisively but Ginny continued on. “Harry, Ron and Hermione really love each other. But they love you, too! That’s why they didn’t tell you. They were trying to keep from hurting you.” “What do you mean?” “Oh, Harry, isn’t it obvious? Ron and Hermione know how much you depend on them. They were afraid if you knew about the two of them that you’d feel left out–feel like they weren’t as much your friends anymore.” Harry just stared out at the lake. He hadn’t thought of it that way before. “Harry, they made a mistake. They should have told you what was going on. They know that now. Please, won’t you at least go talk to them? They’re both just miserable about this.” “Why should they be miserable?” Harry said grumpily. “They looked pretty happy to me, just the two of them.” “Oh, right, Harry,” Ginny said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “They’re just thrilled with this situation. That’s why Hermione’s been crying herself to sleep every night. That’s why Ron hasn’t eaten anything for two weeks. For God’s sake, Harry, I beat Ron at chess last night!” “You’re kidding,” Harry finally looked her. Ron never lost at chess. Never! “No, I’m serious, Harry. And Hermione failed a quiz in Arithmancy.” Harry just gaped at her. “You see?” Ginny said. “They need you just as much as you need them. Please, please forgive them Harry. So they screwed up. Don’t throw away five years of friendship over one stupid mistake!” Harry sighed and tossed another stone into the lake. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, standing up to stare out over the water. Suddenly, he turned around and kicked the tree. “Dammit, I know you’re right!” he said, frustrated. Then everything just came pouring out. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’ve known all this time that I shouldn’t be so angry with them…that I was being a total prat. But I just couldn’t stop being mad. All I could think about was that I wanted to hurt them as much as they had hurt me. I just…” Harry held his hands out to his sides helplessly. He didn’t know how to express what he was feeling. Finally, he sat back down with a soft thump and hunched over, his forehead resting on his bent knees. “I’m just…I’m all messed up inside.” Ginny didn’t say anything for a minute, but Harry could feel her steady gaze on him. Finally, she spoke. “Harry, I know you’ve had a lot to deal with in your life. And now that you’ve lost Sirius, things must be even worse for you. I can’t even imagine the pain you must be feeling about that, and I know there are other things you’re dealing with that I don’t even know about. Anybody could go out of their mind, if they had to bear with everything you have to bear.” Her voice was low and calm. Soothing. “It’s no wonder you want to strike out at people. I’d want to as well if I were in your position. But Harry, you have to fight against it. Fight against the anger and the hate. He’ll use it against you if you don’t. He might already be doing so, in fact.” “Who is?” Harry asked, looking at her, even though he knew perfectly well who she was talking about. “Voldemort,” she answered patiently. Harry raised an eyebrow at her use of the name, but Ginny went on smoothly. “He feeds off of people’s anger and fear. And hatred is his favorite weapon. It creates a chink in your soul that he can use to get inside and corrupt you. Don’t let him do that to you, Harry.” Something in the tone of her voice struck him. “You sound like you speak from experience,” he said uncertainly. “I do. My first year, I handed Riddle the weapons to use against me.” “But you were just a little girl, you couldn’t have hated anybody…” “Didn’t I? Maybe hatred is too strong a word, but I was almost constantly angry with my brothers for teasing me all the time. I resented my Mum and Dad because we were poor, which meant I had to come to school with second-hand books and robes. And then I thought I truly hated Hermione, although by the time I met her I’m not sure Riddle hadn’t taken over me, so I’m not sure if those feelings were really mine or not. Although they certainly must have originated with me at some level.” “Why did you hate Hermione?” Harry asked, confused. “Because I felt like she had stolen Ron away from me. And she was close to you. You know how much I adored you. I was jealous,” Ginny finished simply. “Ginny,” started Harry, embarrassed at the mention of her old crush, but Ginny waved it aside impatiently. “Forget it, Harry. The point is, those bad feelings gave Riddle access to my soul. Everyone who got hurt that year got hurt because I harbored some sort of ill will against them. I just thank Merlin every day of my life that nobody got killed. If they had, it would have been my fault, at least partially.” Harry considered this carefully. “You have to let it go, Harry,” Ginny said softly. “Stop looking for reasons to lash out at people. Be forgiving. You’ll be much happier for it, and much stronger, too.” Harry nodded. “You’re right. I know you’re right,” he said. And in that moment, he felt a burden lift from his soul. He knew he could do what Ginny was telling him to do, and it didn’t even seem that hard. Harry thought he could even get along with Snape, if he tried. He knew he had been blaming his Professor unfairly for Sirius’ death, and just acknowledging that fact made the hatred in his heart burn less brightly. With time, he thought he could probably erase it completely. And maybe he could go have that meeting with Dumbledore that the headmaster had been requesting since summer. Maybe Harry could put that history behind him, too, and make a new start. He smiled at the girl sitting beside him. “How did you get so smart?” Ginny grinned back at him. “Harry, don’t forget I have six older brothers. I have been watching boys be prats for a very long time.” Harry laughed. “Come on,” Ginny said, standing up. “That’s enough lecturing for today, I think. Let’s go down to Hogsmeade and find Ron and Hermione.” “Okay,” Harry agreed, and joined her. They started their walk down the hill in silence, until Harry had a horrible thought. “Wait a minute,” he said. “This doesn’t mean I have to be nice to Malfoy, does it?” Ginny just laughed. Ten minutes later they were standing outside the Three Broomsticks pub, looking through the window at Ron and Hermione who were sitting at a table in the corner staring disconsolately at their bottles of butterbeer. They were most obviously not having a good time, and Harry felt a wave of guilt wash over him. “What if they don’t want to speak to me?” he whispered nervously to Ginny. “I have been a right prat lately…” “Don’t be silly, Harry. Of course they want to talk to you. Don’t forget, they’re not totally innocent in this, either.” “Yeah, I guess so. Well, let’s go in, shall we? Get it over with…” “Actually, Harry, I was just going to pop over to that shop really quick. You go on ahead, though.” “What?” Harry said, surprised. “You’re not going to come with me?” “No, I don’t think so,” Ginny said. “I think the three of you should probably be alone for now. You’ve got some things to talk about, yeah? You don’t need an outsider there.” “Ginny, you’re not an outsider,” Harry protested, but Ginny shook her head. “You know what I mean, Harry. It’s the three of you, always has been. Always will be, I expect, despite certain recent developments.” Ginny smirked. “Right. Well, I guess I should go in,” Harry said. “Good luck, Harry. I’ll see you later,” Ginny said, and started to walk away, but Harry called out after her. “Ginny?” She turned around, a questioning look on her face. “Thanks,” Harry said simply. Ginny shrugged. “No problem. Oh, and by the way, Harry, if those two ever get too…you know…mushy, you can come find me, okay? We’ll throw the Quaffle around or something.” “I’d like that,” Harry said, and he meant it. Ginny just grinned and continued on her way. Harry walked in to the pub and made his way uncertainly over to Ron and Hermione’s table. They both were watching him with trepidation, obviously unsure what was about to happen. He stood beside their table staring at his shoes, for several extremely awkward seconds before he finally found the strength to talk. “Er…would it be okay…I mean…can we maybe talk about some things? I know I’ve been a bit of prat lately, but I thought...” Before he could get another word out, his face was filled with bushy brown hair, and he staggered backwards as Hermione threw herself at him in a crushing hug. “Oh, Harry!” she cried. “We’re sorry! We’re so sorry about everything…” “Come on, Hermione,” Ron said. “At least try to control yourself!” But Harry could see that he was grinning from ear to ear. And Harry was home again. *********** Please review. Pretty pretty please. With sugar on top. Thanks! |
| Reviews 26 |
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