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Letting Go | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Fluff, General Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG-13 Reviews: 7 Summary: Ginny has planned out how she will tell Harry about her deepest secret. She had kept it from him for three years, and she's prepared to live a life without him, but an unexpected twist changes the outcome of her plan. One-Shot, first fic, tell me what you think of this fic. I posted this fic on ff.net but i wanted to see what you guys thought of this. Rated for mild language, nothing too offensive. Hitcount: Story Total: 4955 |
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Ginny Weasley deserved an award of some sort, for her immensely huge talent for acting. Ever since she was fourteen, she'd been pretending. She'd been acting like her normal, happy-go-lucky self. For three years, she had kept a mask on and pretended that all was well, and that she was a perfectly happy single girl, who was independent, stubborn, and passionate. For three agonising years, she had tried to deny the truth that lay buried deep in the core of her heart. For three torturous years, she had denied her love- her love for Harry Potter. Now, it was his graduating night. He would be leaving in about two more days. Soon, he would be off to start his training sessions for the quidditch season, for he was now the seeker for the Chudley Cannons. After that, she would not see him for a whole year, or maybe even more than that...who knew? She needed to tell the truth. She could not spend the rest of her life in love with someone who only saw her as a friend. It wasn't healthy and she would go insane. She had already made the resolution to tell him at the last possible minute. That way, he could reject her quickly, since he was in a rush, and then she could go off to have a good cry and get the heartbreak out of her system. She knew that she could deal with Harry's rejection, but the burden of the secret was probably what kept this torch for him alive. She wanted to live life without Harry's presence intoxicating her brain. She couldn't keep living her life like this...because this wasn't living at all. It was acting. It was pretending. It was not healthy, and she was tired of it. Then, she thought of a life without Harry. She may not have been his girlfriend, but they had some good times. There were the early morning quidditch practices, when they spent the time grumbling about being awake at ungodly hours, and thinking of ways to get their captain, Ron, back for waking them at such a time. There were the DA meetings, which Harry had been convinced to teach again, when she duelled Harry numerous times after everyone discovered just how good she really was at defence. There were the late night talks when neither of them could sleep, and they just talked their hearts out, telling each other their fears, hopes and dreams, and would occasionally shed a few tears when hitting upon some sensitive issues. There were those times when they pulled pranks on her brothers and usually Malfoy. There were those times when they just goofed around, laughing their heads off. They had so many good times...and now he was leaving. "Ginny?" Ginny was jolted from her walk down memory lane, and she was surprised to find tears streaming down her cheeks. She had been sitting in front of the fire, staring into it, unseeingly. It was late and she hadn't expected anyone to be awake. Let alone the person whom she was thinking about. "Ginny, are you alright?" Harry asked again. Ginny hurriedly swept away her tears. She couldn't let Harry see her like this. Sure she had cried in fornt of him before, like the time when her borther hcarlie was attacked at the Dragon reserve in Romania, and he was gravely injured, but this was different. She was crying because of him, and she hadn’t planned on telling him until the last possible minute. He would ask too many questions, and she didn't know if she was capable of pretending this time. She was too tired of pretending. "Oh- I'm fine Harry," her voice cracked unexpectedly. Why? Oh why did you have to come down to the common room tonight? Out of all the nights, why tonight? She cleared her throat, and put on her mask again. "I'm fine Harry. Why wouldn't I be? Now, what are you doing here?" Her voice sounded like it's cheery self again, and she gave herself a pat on the back. Harry looked dubiously at her. He had never seen anyone go from crying to happy and cheery that fast in his life...she must have been acting or something. He knew Ginny was a good liar, but he didn't know she was this good. He took a seat next to her on the floor and looked her in the eye. What he saw there was something he hadn't expected. For a moment, he saw a trace of sadness and…defeat? What was this about? But all her true emotions passed and soon her mask of happiness also covered her eyes. "Ginny, why wouldn't I be here? I'm always here on Wednesday nights...we always have talks on Wednesday nights. You haven't forgotten have you?" Oh damn! How could I have forgotten...I should have told him earlier that I wouldn't be able to come and have the usual Wednesday night talk with him! I'm such an idiot! "No! Now why would I have forgotten? We always have these talks...why should we stop now...right?" Ginny replied in an overly bright voice, averting her eyes from looking directly into his. Hope he believes me on this...I'm not doing so well tonight on the acting front. She was lying...he could tell. She was normally so good at this stuff, but there must have been something really bothering her.... but why wouldn't she tell him. It was obvious that she didn't want to tell him, else she would have cried freely in front of him. They'd done that before...he knew how to deal with a crying Ginny. He'd learned what to do with a crying Ginny ages ago in his sixth year, but she was holding back, and he didn't know whether to press the issue or not, because usually when she was upset, she'd tell someone, if not him, right away. He decided to press her on the issue...this must have been big for her to be crying like this. "Gin- stop it. I know you're good at acting and all, but please, you're not pulling this one off. There's something bothering you-I can tell...I'm not blind you know." He said sternly. That did it for Ginny. She snapped. She was an emotional wreck that night and she couldn't take it anymore. "Blind! You're not blind? You GOT to be kidding me Harry! YOU'VE BEEN BLIND FOR THREE DAMNED YEARS! Don't tell me that you're not blind!" she yelled., and as she looked around she found herself standing up now, and she was surprised to find that Harry was too. What the hell! What is wrong with this girl tonight? Harry was totally confused...what is she talking about? "Gin, what the hell? What's gotten into you tonight? Tell me what's bothering you and stop yelling at me like it's my fault!" Ginny seethed. "It's not just tonight Harry. It's been three fucking years! And it IS your fault! It's your fault this is happening to me...it's...it's not your fault..." her anger dissipated as quickly as it appeared. All that was left now was a tired ache in her heart. All she wanted to do was break down and let the tears that she'd been trying to hold back for three years flow through her...to let go. That was the only way she could go on...to let go of Harry. So she did. She cried. Harry saw the tears gushing down her cheeks and collected her in his arms immediately. He had no clue what this was about, but the least he could do was try to comfort her. She'd done it so many times for him already and now it was his turn to return the favour. Not that he looked at it as a favour. He loved holding her like this. It was as close as he would ever be to her. He loved her- not that she knew that. He'd loved her since the middle of his sixth year. She'd helped him get through Sirius' death and let him get to see the real her. Before his fifth year, she'd never been able to carry on a conversation with him. She'd always been too shy around him and her crush got in the way. But as soon as she had gotten over that, she had come into his life with a bang. She'd been the only one that knew how he felt about Sirius. She'd been the only one who knew what Voldemort was really like. She'd been the only one that was able to settle him down when he was in one of his 'moods' and she'd always been there. At first he'd never noticed her in that light- he'd been too depressed. But on one of his good days during Christmas Holidays, he'd noticed how beautiful she was. Whenever he spent time away from her, he found himself thinking about her, but he'd always pushed those thought aside. It hit him that he'd been drawn to her because she was so wonderful. It was in that moment that he knew she could be the one. However, he knew that she'd gotten over him a long time ago. Hermione told him that a long time ago. He'd lost his chance, but at least he was allowed to hold her like this. "Ginny...shhh...it's all right. Do you mind filling me in?" Harry asked after she had calmed down a little. Ginny gave him a choked laugh and pulled away hastily, as if she had gotten burned from Harry. "No, not really.... but I have to. It's the only other way I'll be able to let you go," she mumbled. The look on Harry's face screamed 'Confused.' "Gin, what are you talking about?" She turned her back to him and stayed silent. After a few seconds, Harry realised that she wasn't going to be saying anything he tried asking again. "Gin, what-" Harry was interrupted all of the sudden and found Ginny's lips on his pressing hard. But just as quickly as the kiss began, it ended as she pulled away hastily. Ginny took a step back from him, a great sorrow etched in her face. She couldn't believe that she just kissed him. She hadn't expected to do that- she just did. She could see Harry's face in the dimming firelight. He was stunned and in disbelief. She couldn't take the silence anymore...she had to leave. "That's what I was talking about. Good bye Harry," she whispered. Ginny turned to leave. To her surprise she wasn't crying like she thought she would be. All she felt now was a dreaded emptiness, knowing that was probably the last time she would touch Harry. That was all she would ever have. That one abrupt and short kiss- it hadn't even been returned to her. How pathetic am I? Her voice startled him out of his disbelief. It made sense to him now. This was her way of telling him that she was in love with him, but she had given up and was letting go. She was at the foot of the stairs now, but he couldn't let her leave. Too many people had left him already, and he was not about to let Ginny go. He ran up behind her and grabbed her arm. She looked startled and surprised to find him in the same room as her. He turned her around completely and leaned down, closing the gap between their lips. Ginny was in shock. She expected to be upstairs in her bed right now with her heartache to accompany her. What are you doing!! Kiss him back! Kiss him BACK!! A voice in her head ordered her, and she was more than happy to oblige. She was in heaven. Their kiss was soft and sweet at first, but as Ginny got over her shock, she kissed without abandon. She had been waiting for this for three whole years, she wasn't about to go and waste this perfect moment. After a few moments, they broke off. They just stood there in each other's arms taking in and processing all of this information. Harry broke the silence soon though. He had to tell her how he felt. He was just so happy right now to know that he hadn't lost his chance. He had to tell her now. "Gin...I...I love you...and I'm not about to let you go. Please...don't go. I've lost too many people already and I've done all that I can for everyone else...I want something for myself for once. I want to be happy...with you. I don't want to let you go...please don't let go of me." |
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