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My Endings Are Never Happy | ||||
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Category: Post-HBP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Fluff, Romance, Tragedy Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 7 Summary: Deathly Hallows Missing Moment, taken from Chapter 34 - The Forest Again. Harry takes a moment to reflect on things, mainly the love of his life. Hitcount: Story Total: 4187 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: The admins removed the story due to death of Harry in a one-shot fic, but i managed to convince them otherwise. however, to make sure it doesn't happen again, (because they were perfectly in the right), i have to say that this is a missing moment taken from Deathly Hallows, Chapter 34 - The Forest Again, and as we all know the ending of Deathly Hallows, i can get away with killing Harry. it's just an alternative scene with the same ending. Also, with the Chamber thing, I've used the films version of events rather than the books, because it seemed more romantic/poetic and it suited my cause better. |
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My Endings Are Never Happy Doesn’t love happen in strange ways? I think I was eleven when love hit me. Thing is, you don’t exactly realise it do you? I mean, I’d been in love for five years before I worked it out properly. Took me long enough, I know, but don’t judge me. Like I said, you never realise it straight away. Well, I say never, I reckon she did. I think she knew before we even met. Everyone had heard about me, everyone knew my name, and probably loads of girls around the world knew about me, but she was different. It was almost like she was drawn to me. Perhaps it was instinctively, I don’t know. Maybe she’s just good like that? No, not maybe she’s good, she is good. She’s the best, and she’s mine. Was mine… She’s not anymore. I gave her up. Did I like it? Hell no. I hated having to do it. But I had to. I often wonder if she understands, if she forgives me, if she’ll take me back. Not much chance of that, is there? I should have realised earlier. I saved her life when I was just twelve years old. Why did I go down there? Because she was my best mate’s sister? Because she was my friend? No, I barely knew her, and as for her brother, was something like that really worth dying for? She might have been, but I don’t think it was that. I remember looking down at her lifeless body and the pain setting in. ice cold, clenching on my stomach, gripping tightly and forcing the wind out of me. Even something as easy as breathing became a trial, and time seemed to slow, like an impediment jinx on the world. She was just eleven years old, and she was so close to death. Then I thought about what she might have gone through in that chamber. She’d had no physical damage done to her as far as I could see, but the experience would be enough to kill anyone. It nearly killed her. My mind had come flooding back to me when I heard a voice saying she wasn’t dead. But she looked so distant. She didn’t feel like she was with us anymore. Not that I was an expert on how a girls presence feels, but I definitely know when someone is alive or dead. I suppose it never occurred to me to check for a pulse, which would be the simple thing to do. I was twelve, you can let me off. I fought for her. I was actually prepared to die for her. Any second, the basilisk could have swallowed me whole. Then what would happen? Both of us would be down there, in that cold, dank chamber, never to be rescued. I was going to save her, or die trying, that much had become clear. I’d come so far, all the twists, turns and trials. She wasn’t going to die down there. The fang had pierced my arm at the exact time I drove the sword into the snake’s mouth. The power and sheer size of the fang nearly took my entire arm off. That probably would have been so much better than being poisoned, I admit, but it wasn’t the best of prospects. After all, how would an eleven year old girl react when she woke up and her saviour was missing an arm? A saviour she was madly in love with. The next moment happened in a flash of inspiration and adrenaline. I actually don’t know why I did it. I just saw the diary there, and found myself sinking the huge fang through it. But I’d gone numb. I didn’t even hear the screams echoing around the chamber. I knew it was over. And a truer double entendre has never been said. I was going to die. The poison was working fast. I found myself unable to stand, and so I crawled to her body, which still showed no signs of life. Every movement was sapping more life out of my body. I reached out, and touched her arm lightly. Her eyes fluttered open. Back then, I was scared. I didn’t want her to see me in this state. It would scare her half to death. Now though, it’s a beautiful thought. Dying, whilst staring into those deep, chocolate eyes, has an almost poetic ring to it. I was going to die for her. Now that is poetic, isn’t it? I could see the fear in her eyes when she looked at the wound. Her gorgeous eyes drifted from my arm up to my face, and saw a pale, wasted young boy, desperately clinging on to life just to get a few more seconds where he could stay lost in her eyes. There was a weight on my shoulder and I started. Phoenixes have healing powers, I’d been told so earlier in the year. Still it’s certainly something to see it happen. My arm just repaired itself, and I felt a wave of energy flood through me. I could have probably carried her back if she had wanted me to. Still, I don’t think she’d ever ask. Pity. I remember the look in her eyes when she saw me smile. Despite what had happened to her, she was actually happy. Happy I was alive. Happy I hadn’t suffered that poetic death for her, in front of her. Happy that she didn’t have to follow my instructions to get out of there, that she could walk out with me. As we walked, I remember her grabbing my arm and holding on to me tighter than anyone ever has. I’m still, to this day, not sure exactly what it was that made her do that. Was she scared of something coming out to attack her again, or was she scared of me nearly dying? I’ll have to ask her if I ever have the chance. I still can’t believe that I didn’t acknowledge her afterwards. She was such a gorgeous, smart, caring, loving girl, and I brushed her off. It was like that night down in the chamber never happened. Like I never did anything, like I didn’t care at all. I probably put her through so much pain after that night. I don’t think she’d get any form of help from her brothers. Her mother would be too busy, and her father would be working. No, nobody would be able to help. Except me. And I didn’t. I should have written to her. I thought about her. Oh God I thought about her. Hoping that she was ok, that she wasn’t in any sort of pain. But I didn’t bother to find out. By the sounds of it, neither did her brother. All the way through third year, I ignored her. Got myself all strung up on another girl just because she was pretty and could play quidditch. Why didn’t I realise there was another girl who was exactly the same, but multiplied ten-fold? Fourth year, and the Yule Ball. Why didn’t I do it then? Even her brother suggested we went together. Ok, so he was just using her to get me a partner, but still, I had the chance before that didn’t I? I didn’t have to ask Cho. Idiot, look where that got you. Yes, Cho… look where that got me. Got me a one way ticket to a bad experience. How many people imagine that the first time they kiss a girl, they’d be crying their eyes out? Not many. I know I certainly didn’t imagine it that way. But she was, and we kissed, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Still, I didn’t have much choice, really, did i? she was determined, and the nerves sending messages to my legs appeared to have gone on holiday for about half an hour. In fact, I think they took my brain with them. I don’t remember much about it. Sounds terrible, I know, I’m meant to remember my first kiss, but really, it was just bad. Almost put me off for life. Almost. Still, I didn’t realise, did i? I got myself this date with the girl I thought I loved. But I didn’t love her. The girl I loved was snogging this other guy, wasn’t she? Michael Corner, god I’d like to rip him apart. At least Cho had some sense. I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that I’d picked a bad one, so she did instead. She realised she’d got someone who didn’t know the first thing about treating girls right. I didn’t do anything right that day I think. Still, if she hadn’t ended it then, I’d probably still be fawning over her in a rubbish relationship that was dead end. After Corner, there was Thomas. Dean Thomas. Nice bloke really, good friend of mine. Well, he had to be, we slept in the same room together for years. That’s when it hit me. And it hit me hard. Thomas’ hands all over her, as they snogged up against the wall in the middle of a corridor after a quidditch practise. This fire was suddenly lit up inside me. I was stopped only by my best mate, shouting down the corridor at them. Admittedly, I think I could have done a better job the way I felt at that moment. Shouting wasn’t what I had in mind though. I thought about her every second of the day. Thing is, it wasn’t ever going to happen, was it? I mean, I wasn’t bold enough to make that move, and I didn’t want to hurt her by making her end it with Dean. Lord knows I’d have loved to though. I suppose, in a way, I got lucky really. Just a little. Ok, a lot. Felix Felicis. I love the stuff. No, I’m not addicted, it was just the caused of the happiest feeling ever. I got her, didn’t i? Like I say, love works in funny ways. Ok, so it’s not unusual for people to use potions to snag a girl. But a luck potion? I think it really shows your feelings if a girl is the luckiest thing that can happen to you that night. So we were together, happy ending, right? Well no. I’m Harry Potter, and my endings are never happy. “Avada Kedavra” Somewhere, not far away, a girl’s voice screamed, but the sound never reached my ears, as the green light struck me, and I collapsed to the forest floor. One last thought ran through my head before everything faded to white. Ginny |
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