The Stupid, Noble Thing

He had known it was wrong. He knew she would hate him if she knew what he had planned. When he approached the idea to her parents, he saw the appalled look in her mother’s eyes.

But he also saw the hope.

It’s the only way, he told them. It’s the only way to keep her safe. To keep her from doing something stupid.

Reluctantly, they had agreed. When he asked when they would do it, her mother told him he had to be the one who did it.

He closed his eyes as the memory came back. When he entered her room, she had been lying on her bed, flipping through a magazine. When she saw him, she smiled her beautiful smile.

Hey.

She was trying to act polite, even though she was angry he wouldn’t let her come with him.

He felt his heart break as he had grabbed the wand and pointed it at her. He had cursed himself when he saw her eyes go wide and she scrambled away from the tip of the wand.

Her eyes had been full of fear. Of him.

What are you doing? Harry?

But his mind had already been made up; he knew it was the only way. So he uttered the word that haunted him from that day forward.

Obliviate.

Her eyes glassed over and she tried to rise but crumpled on her bed. She had fallen, unconscious, and he felt tears as he stowed away his wand.

I’m sorry.

-------

The war finished and he triumphed. But instead of hanging around as people showered him with congratulations, he Apparated to the Burrow. He had to see the girl who had helped him defeat Voldemort.

He entered the crooked house immediately, looking wildly around before he froze. There she lay, as though no time had gone by, on the couch. She looked bored as she flipped through a magazine and he was flashed back to when he had to do it to her — when he had to erase her memories to save her.

She hadn’t noticed him so he stood, staring at her. Finally, the power of his gaze was so strong that she felt it and turned. When she saw him, she jumped with a squeal. In a flash, she was on her feet, the magazine discarded on the floor. Her wand was aimed at his heart as she glared furiously, her brown eyes flashing.

He loved her even more.

Who are you? She demanded the answer.

He smiled. She would remember him. If love had managed to kill the most hated creature ever to live, than it would surely give Ginny her memories back.

It’s over, he whispered, still watching her.

No flash of recognition was in her eyes. Only fear and anger.

What? She snapped. Stop playing games, Death Eater. Her words were spat and sharp and they stung him.

Gin, it’s me, he said. His throat suddenly felt dry and his heart was pounding. He refused to believe it.

I’m going to ask you again: who are you?

She didn’t remember him. After everything, she didn’t remember him.

He walked out the door without responding, feeling as though he was in a daze.

-------

There were celebrations everywhere but he didn’t join in any of them. Why should it? He moved to Grimmauld Place and spent most of his time in there, seated in a chair in front of the fireplace.

He never felt so cold before in his life.

He had done this to her; he had thought erasing her memories would save her, to stop her from following him into dangers, but in the end, she would remember him.

How foolish he had been.

-------

The whole family was trying to help her remember but it seemed as though there was a block to her memory. She would only stare blankly at one of her brothers as they tried to retell a story, hoping she would remember.

When it was explained that Harry was a friend of the family, she didn’t attack him like the first day. But she treated him like a complete stranger, without any hint of recognition. She was polite and courteous but nothing more; he suspected her family hadn’t told her they had been involved.

Finally, when it became too much, her mother sat him down in the living room and told him solemnly that he could no longer visit. Guilt and anger were in the old woman’s eyes as she stared at her surrogate son, the one who had taken away her daughter’s memories.

She regretted ever listening to him and he knew it.

-------

He knew he had no right — no right at all — but he had a need to see her, if only to see her. He found out from his best friend that she went to a small café every morning and every evening, always sitting at the counter.

So he always waited there for her, sitting in a corner seat, out of her view but allowing him the perfect view of her.

Everyday, she came. And everyday, he watched.

It was their daily ritual, one he only knew about. He would come very early and seat himself in his corner, waiting for her. And she would come, looking sad but always managing a smile at the café owner, Ernie, an old man who had a soft spot for her. She would always order coffee and sit at the counter, staring at the contents. When an hour passed and it was eight in the morning, she would drink her cold coffee and leave.

He always came early to her evening visit and watched her. She did the same thing she did in the morning.

He had done this to her to prevent her from doing something stupid when it had been really him who had done the stupid, noble thing.

He couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he stood and went to her side. Would she start screaming? Would she ignore him? Or, by chance, would she recognize him?

The latter gave him hope and that hope had him coming back everyday, hoping she would remember.

And when she did remember, hopefully she would forgive him for what he had done.

-------

He came in as he did every morning. He nodded a greeting at Ernie, made his way to his corner, and waited for her as he skimmed the Daily Prophet.

She entered as always.

But today, she broke the ritual. Instead of going to her usual seat at the counter, she turned and made her way towards a table.

No — not a table. She was making her way towards him.

He wondered for a moment if he was dreaming and had to resist the urge to pinch himself.

She reached his secluded spot and stood there for a moment, not saying a word. He stared back, his heart pounding, wondering what she would do.

Finally, she slid into the seat across him, looking graceful in her movements. But the shaking of her hands gave her way.

Still, the two sat in silence before she finally broke it.

I…I knew you before, didn’t I?

He merely nods, unable to speak. She avoids his eyes for a moment, playing with her hands but determinedly looking up, straight into his green eyes with her brown eyes. Straight into him.

And you…you did…this to me?

Her voice sounded so scared, so vulnerable, that he longed to wrap her into his arms and leave everything behind. He faintly wondered how she knew it was he who did this to her. But he just nodded again, his throat constricted with suppressed tears.

She fell silent but continued staring intently at him, making him uncomfortable and forcing him to look away, his guilt overbearing.

Suddenly, he felt a sting on his cheek and his head snapped to the side. He blinked away pained tears as he focused on her, as she retracted her hand, looking satisfied. Her eyes were blazing and he felt the longing flare up in; she looked just like she always did when she was ready for a fight.

But then the fire died away and she was staring at him again.

Why?

One word and it caused him so much pain. He opened his mouth but found he couldn’t speak so he closed his mouth for a moment, gathering his strength before he opened his mouth again.

I was doing it to…to protect you. He forced himself to stare into her sad brown eyes. I knew that if you remembered me…remembered the war, you would want to fight in it. By…erasing your memory, you would have no recollection of the war or wanting to fight in the war. I did it to keep you safe. I loved you.

She didn’t respond; instead, she rose swiftly and walked away.

-------

He woke up to a frantic owl at his window. Swearing, he swung himself out of bed and kicked the empty bottles of liquor under his bed as he made his way to the window. His head pounded furiously and when he opened the window, he made a swipe to hit the bird but the bird avoided him.

He took the letter and shooed the bird away before opening it. He found the words were hard to focus on and he squinted, trying to stop the world from spinning. Faintly, he realized the letter had wet spots on it — tear drops.

He tried to read the whole thing but couldn’t. He still managed to grasp the concept:

She was screaming and no one could wake her. She was screaming for him.

He Apparated so quickly that the letter didn’t even have time to fall.

-------

He heard her screams the second he arrived. Racing up the stairs to her bedroom, he burst in to find her two oldest brothers trying to hold her flaying arms without success. She fought ferociously, her eyes squeezed shut, and she clawed at her brothers.

HARRY! Her voice screamed with great fear. HARRY! HARRY!

Bill cursed angrily when her fist connected with his cheek and he stumbled backwards at the impact.

He stepped forward and finally, the family took notice of him. Her mum had tears streaming down her face and her eyes pleaded with him to save her daughter. She was giving him a second chance.

He went to her side and immediately began stroking her sweating forehead. She still flayed but not as much; she was calming down under his touch and soon, she was only mumbling as she curled up into a protective ball.

Sighing with relief, he stood to leave but quick as lightening, she grabbed his wrist and held tight. He tried to withdraw but her grip only tightened.

Stay with her, her mum asked softly. Please.

He did.

-------

He woke up to her poking him. Groaning, he told her to go back to sleep.

She persisted.

Ginny?

Brown eyes gleamed in the darkness anxiously.

H-Harry? Is that really you?

He quickly straightened, his heart pounding.

Yeah, Gin. It’s me.

There was a pause before his head was reeling back, his cheek screaming with pain. He saw her smile with satisfaction before bringing his face towards hers, until they were only inches apart.

Never, she whispered, do that again, you stupid, noble git.

He knew what she meant. And he knew she remembered. She remembered everything.

He enveloped her in a passionate kiss and felt his lips curve into a smile as he tasted her in what had seemed like forever.

She had come back to him and he had no intent on letting her go again.