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SIYE Time:19:40 on 28th March 2024
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Firefight
By ChaliceInnana

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:All, All
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 13
Summary: This is one shot I wrote ages ago. Pre-HBP. I just found it on my computer...it's kind of fun.
Hitcount: Story Total: 4311



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
This is pre-HBP goodness. Ron is much cooler than actual Ron.




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Firefight

In the annals of Hogwarts, illegal dueling has been a unique and pervasive problem. Getting 1000 hormonally charged teenagers with powerful magical abilities under one roof is full of issues. The duels tended to be caused by romance gone wrong, insults, family feuds… romance gone wrong. Yes, romantic entanglements gone awry were the main causality of duels according to the Big Big Book of Hogwarts Firefights by Jasmine Le Corke. The most violent of all the recorded duels, however, emerged under the guise of normal sibling interaction. The latest firefight occurred in that oldest of dueling families, the Weasleys.

The Weasleys, who brought Hogwarts the Fiona/Sean Day of Destruction, the Phillip/Arnold Wands of Fury, the Arthur/Bilius Joust of Doom, the William/Charles Storm of Storms, the destructive Frederick/George Identical Demolition Derby, now bring the Ronald/Ginevra Weasel/Vixen Flying Death Match!

“You are so OVER!” Ron bellowed! He ran down the stairs of the boys’ dorm skidding to a halt in front of the fireplace, “Where.is.she?” He growled. The panicked first year he choose to ask, looked like he wanted to wet himself.

“Hey, Ron, what’s up?” Harry asked walking through the portrait hole.

Ron whirled on him. “Harry, have you seen…Ginny?” He spat the last word like a horrible curse.

“Why?” Harry really didn’t want to divulge her location, which he unfortunately did know.

Ron saw the hesitation in Harry’s eyes, “Don’t worry, mate, I won’t kill her. I just need to talk to her.”

“Ron, quit trying to scare your friends, anyone would think you were Malfoy or something.” Ginny stood framed in the portrait hole, smiling at her maniacal brother. She smiled.

“DEAD!!!” Ron charged.

“Accio, Firebolt.” Ginny gasped. Harry’s racing broom appeared in her hand and she flew off.

“Accio, Cleansweep!” Ron yelled and took off after her.

The common room fell silent for a few seconds. Then conversations restarted and life began anew. Harry briefly considered going after them, but realizing he’d probably be called into battle to assist one or the other, he decided to stay put.

Fifteen minutes later, Ginny flew back through the portrait hole, leapt off the Firebolt and tossed it to Harry. “Sorry. That was such a bad idea, you can’t even begin to imagine,” Ginny panted.

“GINNY!” bellowed Ron, limping up the staircase holding the remains of his Cleansweep.

Ginny raised her wand, “STUPEFY!” She ran up the stairs of the girls’ dorm. Ron fell backwards, into the arms of Seamus and Neville.

Neville grinned brightly, “Did you see, Harry? Ginny and Ron were having a firefight on broomstick! Ginny’s wicked!”

“Ron sucks! She stupefied him.” Seamus released Ron, leaving Neville to support the dead weight alone. Ron slowly sank to the floor.

Harry and Neville helped Ron to the sofa, “So they were flying around inside on broomsticks, fighting?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, it’s really dangerous!” Neville beamed, “Ginny was brilliant! Ron was just a maniac; it was like he wanted to kill her.” His face darkened at this observation.

“What did she do?” Harry asked.

“Don’t you know?” Katie came racing down the stairs with Leanne. “Just a perfectly innocent practical joke,” she grinned, then clarified, “A perfectly innocent, cohesively planned series of practical jokes.”

“Ginny got mad at Ron for trashing her thing with Dean…” Leanne began.

“She had every right…” Katie nodded.

Harry cut her off, “What did Ginny do?”

Katie grinned, “Does it matter? She won! She is queen!” She linked arms with Leanne, “The Vixen rules! The Weasel drools!” They strutted through the corridor.

Harry turned to Neville, “It couldn’t have been that good…”

Neville shrugged, “It wasn’t that the plan was so brilliant, so evil or so brilliantly evil, it was that the prank was so skillfully adapted to her prey’s weaknesses. The Vixen rules,” Neville announced.

“Could you be more in love with her?” Harry asked grinning.

Neville shook his head, “No. No, I really couldn’t. Could you?”

“I don’t love Ginny…”

“Yeah, yeah you do,” Neville smirked.

“I do not,” Harry shook his head.

“Listen, Harry, I am not going to get involved with ‘do not’ vs. ‘do too.’ You like her too. The only difference between you and me is that you might stand a chance,” Neville stated regretfully. He looked at Ron still frozen on the sofa, “Should we take him upstairs or leave him here to be attacked by wild dogs?”

Harry looked at Ron, “Well, let’s leave him here. Do you think we might want to dress him up in a funny hat or something so the others will leave him alone?”

“Is he up yet?” Ginny asked quietly, standing on the third stair of the girl’s dorm.

“Nope,” Harry grinned, “Nice stupefy!”

Ginny grimaced. She ventured down the stairs and looked at Ron’s inert form on the couch. “I think I really over did it. I have never seen him that mad.”

Harry looked at her, “Ginny, what happened?” She ignored him still looking at her brother.

She pulled her wand, “ENNERVATE!”

Ron awoke panting, “What the hell happened?”

“I stupefied you,” Ginny answered bravely.

“Why?” Ron sat up rubbing his head.

“Cause you tried to kill me…” Ginny shrugged.

Ron looked horrified, “How? Why?”

“Hmm, well, how…that’s complicated…why…I may have slightly had it coming.” Ginny sat next to him on the couch. “Any of this coming back to you yet?”

“Did I try to stupefy you while you were on broomstick?” Ron groaned.

Ginny grinned, “You tried…You missed by, like, a mile!”

“Did you throw an impediment curse on me while I was flying?” Ron frowned, clearly getting his memory back.

“Yeah! It was wicked!” Ginny enthused eagerly, “You were flying up the stairs, you lost altitude so quick,” she giggled, then seeing the murderous rage begin to rekindle, fell back on the sofa, “Ron, either shoot the Avada Kedavra at me, or lighten the hell up.”

“After what you did?” Ron growled quietly.

“Oh, please, I had to get back at you!” Ginny moved to face him on the sofa returning his death glare.

“Well, did it satisfy your unquenchable thirst for revenge to humiliate me?”

Ginny smirked, tilted her head, “Yes, I believe I am satisfied. Are you?” clearly this was a challenge.

Harry coughed, “Okay kids, no more revenge.”

Ron waved, “Stay out of this mate,” he said coldly, “What do you think?” Ron asked Ginny.

“Hmm, well, I think you kind of still want me dead, but then you already tried to seek revenge and failed miserably…Since my actions were reasonable and within the bound of normal Weasley warfare… I’d say, yes we are through with this little spat.”

“Normal Weasley warfare?” Harry asked.

“Harry, shhhhhh.” Ginny raised a finger to her lips. Harry folded his arms and sat down in a huff, “Harry, if you want to pout…Oh, bugger, save it for later, when I have time to mock you, okay?”

Ron smirked at his sister. Ginny smirked back. Ron leaned over, “He’s so touchy.”

“I know. Thinks it’s all about him,” Ginny whispered back, “Look, he’s getting pink…”

“Everyone knows quality people go beet red…” Ron chuckled.

“Nobody goes beet red like you, Ron…” Ginny smiled admiringly at her brother, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Oh, fine, making fun of me has saved your bloody relationship,” Harry grumbled.

“Oh, Harry, our relationship was never in trouble,” Ginny laughed, smiling brightly, “You expect a little something like attempted murder to come between the King Weasel and me?”

Ron messed Ginny’s hair affectionately, “Or that our little Vixen’s attempt to humiliate me in front of the entire female population of Hogwarts…” He turned to Ginny, “You are going to fix this some how, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I have my best people on it right now. The rumor might linger, but all photographic and written evidence is being taken care of.” Ginny patted his arm.

“See?” Ron put an arm around her, “I could I stay mad at this one?” He laughed, smoothing her messed hair, “She has people!”

Harry smirked, “She has Hermione and Luna.”

Ginny laughed, laying her head on her brother’s shoulder, “Oh, Harry, I have others, but when a girl has Hermione and Luna on the team, who else does she really need? Well, Colin. He has the camera, and I keep Parvati around for hairdressing emergencies.”

Harry raised an eyebrow and Ginny clarified, “Oh, I am pretty sure, Ron isn’t really done with me and something horrible will happen to my hair in…what would you say, Ron? The next 48 to 72 hours?”

“In that general time frame,” Ron concurred.

“Smashing!” Ginny stood up, “I’ll just have Luna bring over one of her funky hats.” Ginny flounced up the stairs.

Harry looked confused, “You know, you can stay mad at me and Hermione for months on end over nothing, but you forgive her in like an hour.”

“I haven’t gotten mad at you or Hermione for more than an hour in two years. You know why? Cause I am stuck with you. The same way I am stuck with Ginny.”

“So she isn’t mad about Dean anymore?” Harry asked.

“Oh, yeah, she’s still pissed, but it is more about me interfering in her life, rather than losing Dean which, crap, even she knows she can do better,” Ron concurred, “I’ll tell you one thing, next time I try to muck up her love life I am going to have my people take care of it.”

“Your people,” Harry scoffed, “You have the same people Ginny does!”

“I have some of the same people that Ginny does,” Ron shrugged, “But I also have you.”

Harry went pink again, “Maybe next time, I’ll be on Ginny’s team…”

Ron grinned, “That’s the general idea mate,” his grin morphed into a pensive frown, “Hey, who do we know that can throw hair curses that can’t be covered by funky hats?”
Reviews 13
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