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SIYE Time:13:54 on 28th March 2024
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Normalcy
By notadryeeye

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Category: Alternate Universe, Post-HBP
Characters:None
Genres: Tragedy
Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Sexual Situations, Violence
Story is Complete
Rating: R
Reviews: 1174
Summary: Harry gets one night that gives him a glimpse into what life could be like with the Dursley's. But events turn for the worse and both Harry and the wizarding world are left wondering what it's consquences mean for the future of the world.
Hitcount: Story Total: 500779; Chapter Total: 17715
Awards: View Trophy Room




Author's Notes:
No copyright infringement is intended. All Characters, places, etc. are JK's and belong to the HP Universe she's created. I only put my name on the plot and storyline of this particular fic.




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Chapter 4: Filling in the Gaps
Arthur landed shakily on his feet just outside The Burrow. He looked sadly at the ramshackle house, knowing that right now, its usually happy atmosphere was wracked with grief and anguish over the loss of one of its own.

Pushing open the door, the figures of four red-haired men sitting around the table came into view, each of them lost in their own heads, unaware of his entrance. Bill was absentmindedly playing with his wand in his hand, staring off into nothingness. Charlie had his head bowed and his eyes were closed, apparently deep in thought. Fred was concentrating on his fingers that were tapping the table in a slow methodic rhythm. George was leaning back, his chair on two legs as he was focusing on the ceiling intently.

Mr. Weasley stopped to deposit his cloak on the hook next to the door, when Bill's voice punctuated the silence.

"Where's Ron?"

Arthur turned from the hooks and looked at his sons, who were now looking at him with tired and sad eyes.

"He's with Hermione. Those two need to be together," replied Arthur sadly. The boys all nodded in agreement.

"How are they?" Charlie asked softly.

Mr. Weasley shook his head.

"Not good. They're both taking it hard. Ron’s trying to be strong for the both them...I don't think he knows what to do," said Mr. Weasley trailing off.

"I just can't believe it. It doesn't seem real....doesn't seem right," whispered Fred. Bill reached over and put a firm hand on Fred's shoulder. Fred looked at Bill with a look of appreciation and continued to stare at nothing in particular.

"I take it Remus sent you boys home?"Mr. Weasley inquired.

"Yeah. He said we should go home and be here for Mom, Gin and Ron. He and Mad-Eye and some of the other Order members are still searching hospitals and trying to find out something more. None of the hospitals within thirty or forty miles have any records of the crash, but it's still slow because of the limited use of magic.It happened out in the middle of nowhere and they could have been taken anywhere. I told Remus he should come with us...he's taken things pretty hard...but he wouldn't hear of it....wants to keep looking," Bill said with a shuddering breath.

"I can imagine he is. How's Gin...your mother?"

"Mom's holding it together, but I think she's only doing it for Ginny. We got here right after Ginny came around and she was pretty hysterical. We...Charlie and I....we had to help hold her down to give her the Calming Draught and some Dreamless Sleep Potion. Mom's up with her now and keeping an eye on her," Bill said as his voice cracked with emotion.
"How are you boys doing?"

"Trying to soak everything in...make sense of it," stated Charlie.

"I think we all are, son. We all are...."
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Ron and Hermione both sat on the edge of her bed, holding each other and trying to find the right words to comfort themselves, but nothing seemed to help. Neither one of them was crying anymore, but they were silently staring into space, each of them lost in their own little worlds, only conscious of the fact that there was a gaping whole in their lives.

"Ron," Hermione whispered in a raspy voice, "we need to tell the Order about the Prophecy."
"What?" cried Ron in a firm voice, pulling away from Hermione and looking at her with a wounded look. "Harry just died and all you can think about is that bloody prophecy?"

"Ron don't you think for a moment that I'm not hurting just as bad as you...or I somehow forgot the fact that our best friend is dead," accused Hermione in a hurt tone, "But Harry is dead...and there's nothing we can do about that. But without him...what happens? There is no one left to get rid of V-Voldemort. We have to tell the Order, and we have to prepare them for what's to come. When Voldemort finds out...he's going to have no one to stop him and he will be totally relentless. I can't bear to think what that means for us."

"NO! I promised Harry...you promised Harry that we would keep this a secret. We promised that we wouldn't tell anyone about the Prophecy or the Horcruxes....None of it! I'm not going back on my promise now...especially now. I'm not," cried Ron.

"I know what I promised. But things have changed and I never in a million years thought things would turn out this way and we'd have to decide or even consider this. But Ron, you have to think of our families and our friends that are still fighting. We need their help...we can't carry on Harry's fight by ourselves...we need to warn them and protect them from how horrible things can and will get now. Harry would want us to think about that. He'd want us to do what is right in order to save the people we love," whispered Hermione, running her hand through Ron's messy red hair.

Ron let out a long sigh and closed his eyes.

"They do need to know...but I'm not going to worry about that now. Right now I'm going to mourn for Harry...not the bloody Boy-Who-Lived or The Chosen One...but for my best mate...our best friend. I never thought I say that there were more pressing matters than a war to rid the world of Voldemort...but this is so much more important right now. After we find him and bring him home where he belongs...after the...the funeral and everything...we'll sit down and inform the Order that things just became a whole hell of a lot more complicated. But not until I've buryied my best friend...not until we've had time," said Ron passionately holding Hermione.

They sat for the next hour or so in each other's embrace, not saying a word.
"Ron could you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone right now and I really need you to be here," whispered Hermione into Ron's ear.

"Yeah...whatever you want and however long you need me...I'll be here for you...for us. I just need to pop in at home and get some clothes and see how things are going...if there's any news," he said standing up and giving her a kiss on her forehead and Apparting back to the Burrow to his mourning family.
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Ron landed softly outside the Burrow and slowly made his way up the cobbled path, past the chickens and old boots. He quietly pushed open the old door and entered the kitchen to find his older brothers as well as his father quietly talking, looking up when Ron shut the door behind him.

"Hey Ron," Bill offered quietly, giving his brother a soft smile.

"Hi," Ron replied shakily, "I just popped in to get some things. Hermione asked me stay with her and I guess i'm gonna stay over there for a while until...well I don't know how long." When nobody spoke, Ron gestured to the stairs. "Just gonna go up and get some nightclothes and some for tommorow and see how Mum and Gin are doing." The Weasley men watched as their youngest member made his way up the stairs, each at a loss of what to say to him.
Ron made his way quickly to his room, careful not to linger too much on the picture frames and various school items on his walls or dresser. Tossing some t-shirts, jeans, and some pyjama bottoms in his school bag, he made his way to the end of the hall and knocked softly on Ginny's bedroom door.

"Yes?" came a quiet voice from the other side of the door. Ron pushed slowly pushed it open to find his mother sitting on a rocking chair next to his sister's bed. Ginny was lying still against the pillows, sleeping peacefully. But her face was covered with the remnants of tears and redness and her grief and hurt were obvious,despite her enchanted, dreamless sleep.

"Just wanted to see how you two were doing," said Ron quietly, "and I wanted to to let you know I'm going to stay with Hermione for a while."

"Oh Ron..." cried his mother, getting up from her chair and wrapping him up in a giant hug while sobbing uncontrollably on his chest."Ron I'm so sorry...."

"I know Mum..." Ron sobbed into his mother's hair as he patted her reassuradley on the back. When the tears had stopped flowing, Ron looked over at his sister lying unconscious on the bed. "Tell Gin when she wakes up that if she needs me or Hermione...well...you know where to find us. Take care of her...she needs us." Ron broke his embrace from his mother and left the room.

Down in the kitchen, the Weasley sons where in a quiet conversation, looking up when they heard the sqeak of the stairs that announced Ron's reentrance into the kitchen. At the same time, Arthur Weasley came into the kitchen from the sitting room, brushing soot from his robes.
"Anything?" asked several of the Weasley's at the same time.

"Remus said that they were checking a small country hospital this afternoon and found out that Dudley and his girlfriend had both been treated there. Sara, the girl, was treated for minor cuts and bruises and some cracked ribs. And Dudley was treated for some bruising and a large laceration on his back. They were transferred to a hospital in London this morning. The records didn't indicate which one and Remus had to stop himself from performing magic to find out. He and Tonks are going to search the hospitals in London...but not till tommorow. I think I convinced him...actually Nymphandora convinced him...to get some rest. I don't think he can handle much more without breaking..." Arthur informed them.

"You think maybe we should go...we could get things done faster if the rest of the Order spread out?" asked George.

"No," answered Arthur softly. "There are things that we need to do. We still need to carry out the errands that Dumbledore had us working on and security and measures need to be taken to ensure Hogwarts can open again. There's far too few of us as it is...and I besides...I think Remus wants to...needs to do this for himself. We need to understand that Harry was the last link to his past...his friends...and I know he feels as if he's failed them somehow. As much as we're hurting and grieving, we need to respect his wishes and allow him to bring closure to this."

"No offense Dad...but Harry was like a brother to us, to all of us and right now...this war and everything we've been preparing for...doesn't seem important. We want to help and we..." Fred started to protest, but Ron cut him off.

"No Fred. Dad's right...we need to let Remus do this. I lost my best friend today and I feel like part of my heart was ripped out or died too, but I can't imagine how Remus feels...it pale's in comparison. I know he feels like he's let down Sirius and Harry's parents...he feels as if he didn't protect him enough. The last person who gave him some part of his past to hold onto is gone and I can imagine he feels alone and defeated. And besides...just because Harry's gone doesn't mean that this war is over and that Voldemort will stop...because he won't...it'll only get worse. We need to protect each other and brace ourselves for what's to come," said Ron passionately. With that, he slung his backpack on his shoulder and walked out the door to Apparate back to Hermione's.

Everyone in the room was looking at Ron with a new sense of admiration and pride at how much he had grown and matured. He was no longer the goofy, gangly, kid brother that everyone picked on. Ron was a man now. Every brother was proud of the way Ron had handled himself amidst the recent tragedy.
-------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Ron landed softly on the landing outside of Hermione's bedroom door. He thought it would be rude to just Apparate in and he didn't want to have to knock on the front door again if he landed outside the house. He knocked softly on the door and pushed it open. Inside, Hermione was sitting on her bed, her back facing Ron and the door. Ron walked up behind her and lightly placed his hand on her shoulder, causing her to start a bit, but she looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"What are you looking at?" Ron questioned. In Hermione's hand was a small frame, the glass was smattered with fresh tears.

"Just some pictures, school things...." she said trailing off."This one was taken the day after you guys won the Quidditch Cup last year...the day after Ginny and...Harry got together." Ron looked silently at the picture, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. It was a picture of himself, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny. It had been taken by Colin Creevey down by the lake. The four of them where sitting on the ground, Ron holding Hermione in a friendly embrace with his arms around her waist. And Harry was holding Ginny, with his hands around her waist, furiously tickling her while she tried to mess up his already messed up hair. They all looked so carefree....so happy.

"It was the first picture of all four of us together and...and it was the last one of Harry," Hermione whispered. She ran a hand across the glass inside the frame as if reaching out to touch the photo Harry in the picture who was grinning madly and fighting to keep a hold of the photo Ginny. Fresh tears puddled up on the glass and Hermione wiped them away with her sleeve, placing the photo back on her nightstand.

"It's hard to believe that that's all the older he's going to get...that we'll always remember him like that," Ron said as his voice cracked with emotion. He sat down on Hermione's bed and put his head in his hands, kneading his forehead with his palms. "It's only been a day and I'm so worried that I'm going to forget how his voice sounds or about things we used to do or talk about...what if we forget Hermione?"

"I don't think we'll ever forget. We've got so many good memories....so many good times, that we couldn't possibly ever forget him. We'll always have our memories. And we'll always have us," she said sitting down next to Ron on the bed and putting her arm around his neck.

"You know...I always allowed myself to dwell on the possibility that Harry wouldn't make it out of this...that'd we'd lose him. But I never thought it'd be like this. I always figured he'd...." whispered Ron.

"Go down while fighting Voldemort." finished Hermione in a knowing voice.
"Yeah."

"I think I did too," Hermione reassured him. "You know all I can think about now is whether Harry knew it was coming. Whether he realized what was happening. Is it wrong of me to wish that he didn't and that it was quick and painless or instantaneous even?"

Ron didn't know what to say. He knew for a fact--he'd heard it himself while eavesdropping--that Harry had probably been alive when emergency workers arrived and that he died from injuries caused by being thrown from the car. But he didn't have the heart to tell Hermione that Harry had probably known...probably suffered. So he lied.

"No, you're not wrong in hoping or wishing that he was unaware and wasn't in pain. I hope for the same thing. I don't think I can bring myself to imagine if he had been aware...and alone... knowing he was dying." soothed Ron as he brought Hermione into another hug.

Both of them collapsed on Hermione's bed in a tight embrace, watching the falling afternoon sun wash across the far wall and the room darkened as night fell upon them. They fell asleep shortly after sunset, unmoving and lost in their tormented and grief filled nightmares. Neither of them flinched or made any intention of waking when Mrs. Granger checked on them shortly after suppertime, leaving a tray of sandwiches and juice on Hermione's dresser and covering the two up with a thin sheet. And both of them slept late into the morning the next day, holding each other in comforting embrace.
------------------------------ ---------------------------------------- -------------------------
Remus Lupin stared up at the hulking building in front of him. He had already been to four London are hospitals this morning looking for any trace of Dudley Dursley, his girlfriend, or Harry. But so far, he had had no luck.

Staring up at the inviting sign of St. Thomas's, Remus rubbed his tired eyes and took a deep breath before stepping into the cool air-conditioned entrance. He had spent most of the wee hours of the morning of the previous day searching roadsides, searching for Harry. He had then spent the majority of the previous day and afternoon searching hospitals for Harry's body. It was safe to say that the past twenty-four hours had been pure hell, a living nightmare from which there was no waking.

He had read the police report himself, heard second-hand accounts from workers searching the scene and clearing the wreckage, and all of these factor's indicated that Harry Potter, Remus's last link to Lily, James, and Sirius, was dead. His heart was broken, his mind shaken and his body was weary from a lack of rest and a restless night's worth of tossing and turning in an attempt to sleep. He had only consented to rest when Arthur Weasley and his girlfriend Tonks had suggested it.He had to find out what happened. He needed to find Dursley and hear it from the boy himself that Harry was indeed gone.

Remus pushed his way past men, women, and children visiting the hospital, not getting much as a glance from them as they brushed by each other. Remus was in his best Muggle dress: a faded pair of jeans, white polo shirt, and leather loafers. No one would know he was a wizard and no one would suspect that he was searching for the most famous wizard in recent history.
Remus slowly approached a young women dressed in a tan business suit situated behind a desk that had a sign bearing the words "Information and Patient Check-in" pasted across the front. The women was talking animatedly to a couple who where holding a small child dressed in pajamas. Remus waited patiently behind the couple, waiting his turn.


When the couple took a clipboard full of paperwork and turned toward the sitting area, Remus stepped up to the desk and gave the young women a small smile. He'd already been to four hospitals, and had been told four times that there was no record of a Dursley or Potter and he was afraid of being turned down a fifth time.


"What can I help you with?" she asked sweetly, continuing to type on her computer keyboard.
"Um...I was wondering if you had a Dursley or Grantman who are currently patients here. They were in an accident and were transferred here," inquired Remus. He had already used this line four times and was afraid he would have to come up with another excuse to why he was looking for a patient that wasn't currently at this hospital, without raising suspicion from Muggle authority.

She tapped frantically at her keyboard, eyeing the flatscreen monitor in front of her.
"Sara Grantman was released earlier this morning...." she said trailing off and continuing to type. Remus's heart leapt a bit.

"Dursley...Dursley..."she said quietly while scrolling down the screen. ”Ah ha...yep. Dudley Brian Dursley is currently being observed on the fourth floor for a laceration to the back and other injuries. Would you like to know what room?" She asked looking up at Remus. Remus's breath caught in his chest. He'd found Dudley...he was right here in this hospital. His heart leapt and then was quickly inflated when he realized that he was now very close to finalizing and confirming his worst nightmare.

"Yes, I'd like to visit him. I'm a friend of his mother and father's and heard about their passing," Remus lied.

"Room 417A. Just follow this hall round' the corner and take the lift to the fourth floor. Take a left down the hall out of the elevator and it should be the eight rooms on the left. Oh and you'll need this," she said as she handed him a badge that said "Visitor." Remus nodded curtly to the young women and pinned the badge on the front of his shirt and set off toward the lifts.

Remus rode the elevator up to the fourth floor, his stomach was in knots and his brain was going a mile a minute. As the lift jerked to a stop and opened he stepped out into the quiet hall, his footsteps echoing eerily into the silence. Halfway down the hallway, eighth door down, Remus stood staring at a door that had the letters "417A" etched into the plastic marker. He could hear soft voices inside and the din of a television in the background. Mustering up all his courage and nerve, he placed his hand on the door handle and started to push it open.

At the same time, the door seemed to pulled inwards and a tall blonde girl with pretty blue eyes was staring back at him, startled, as she was trying to open the door at the same moment.
"Oh sorry," Remus muttered.

"Oh that's ok...can I help you?" the girl asked, eyeing Remus up and trying to place him.

"Yes. I was wondering if I could talk to Dudley?" he asked, looking over at the large blonde boy who was lying on his side and now staring at Remus.

"If you're a police officer I'm sorry. We've already talked to about a dozen of you and we have nothing new to tell you," she sighed.

"No. I'm actually a friend of the family...and was Harry's professor. My name is Remus Lupin," Remus started.

"You're one of..." Dudley spoke from the bed, "I mean...I've met you at the train station before." Dudley had almost said "You're one of them" but changed tact so his girlfriend wouldn't find out about their families hidden "abnormalities."

Remus nodded kindly. "Yes, you've seen me before at King's Cross."

Remus walked past the girl and laid a hand on Dudley's bed.

"I'm sorry about your parents. How are you doing?" He asked as kindly as he could to the boy.
Dudley looked away and tried to blink the tears from his eyes. He looked up at Remus and nodded his head.
"I'm ok...it's just hard right now..." he said trailing off.

"I know..." Remus replied. "Dudley...I know you've been through a terrible ordeal, but I need you to explain to me exactly what happened. I'm trying to figure out exactly what happened myself. We're trying to piece this together."

Dudley looked sadly at the shabbily clad wizard and nodded.

"We were on our way back from Sara's sister's wedding and were only on the road about twenty minutes when my dad passed out and started seizing. Mom went crazy trying to move him off the steering wheel. But we started drifting off the road, “Dudley went silent and Sara went to his side and grasped his hand.”I tried to get him to move, but couldn't grab the wheel. Harry took off his seat belt and grabbed for the wheel. He tried jerking us back to the road...but it was too late. We hit a guard rail and ended up flipping down the hill. I must have gotten knocked out...the next thing I remember is crawling out of the car and looking in to see my Mum and Dad...dead. Doctor's said that Dad died of the heart attack and didn't know we crashed, most likely, and Mum died on impact."

Dudley didn't seem to be able to go on, so Sara picked up for him.

"I was knocked out too, but got myself out with only a few cuts and bruises. I found Dudley trying to get his mother out...but we were too late," she whispered softly, stroking the back of Dudley's hand. "We saw that the gas tank was leaking and decided to get away. But half-way up the hill we remembered that Harry wasn't in the car with us. We figured he must have gotten thrown out...he wasn't wearing his seatbelt, " She looked sadly down at her hands, trying to rid her mind of the vision of Harry pinned against the tree. “We went back to look and...and we found him… and he was pinned up against the tree by the car. He must have gotten thrown through the windshield. Dudley lifted the car and we pulled him out and away from the car. But he was bleeding really bad and barely conscious when emergency workers arrived."

Remus buried his head in his hands and used every ounce of strength he had to keep himself from breaking down and crying. His worst nightmare, the worst possible outcome was indeed reality. Harry had been alive when they found him. He hadn’t had a quick death and what was worse, was that he had sustained horrific injuries and was probably aware of it. Wanting to finish what he had come to find out, he continued.

“You were taken to Lake Hills Hospital and then…” asked Lupin, not looking up.

“We were transferred here yesterday afternoon to be closer to home and to be with Harry,” finished Sara.

Remus looked up at her as if he had heard her wrong.

“They brought Harry’s body here?” he asked, screwing up his face in incomprehension. ‘Why had they brought his body all the way to London?’

“Body?” asked Dudley, obviously confused.

“Body?” repeated Sara shaking her head in misunderstanding. “You think he’s…they told you he was dead?”

“Yes. The police report said he was pronounced dead on the scene…and the way the scene looked…” Remus trailed off, still confused about what was going on.


“They lost him on the scene for a while,” added Dudley, “but they shocked him and got him back just before they put him on the helicopter and brought him here.”

“He’s alive?” cried Remus. “But you made it sound as if…I thought…we thought…”

“Yes, he’s alive. I never said he was dead, I just thought you came here to find out what happened because Harry can’t tell you,” said Dudley.

“He can’t...Dudley, where’s Harry? Can you take me to him?” asked Remus wildly, his heart beginning to race in his chest.

Dudley looked expectantly at Sara, not sure what to say or how much to tell this man.
“He’s up in the Intensive Care Unit,” Sara shared bracingly. “I’m not sure that we’ll be able to see him right now. They were planning on doing some tests and checking out some things this afternoon and evening.” Remus gave her a confused look.

“Intensive Care Unit?” He repeated. He wasn’t sure exactly what that meant in Muggle terms, but he knew it probably wasn’t good.

“Yes…I can go check with the nurse and see if we can’t see him. Dud and I went to visit him last night when he first woke…” she said as her voice trailed off in a whisper.
“Could you?” asked Remus pleadingly.

“Yeah…I’ll be back,” and she strode out of the room, leaving Dudley and Remus lost in their own thoughts.

Remus’s head was racing. Harry was alive! He was here in this hospital and alive. But he was obviously hurt and he still wasn’t out of the woods. They were doing tests and ‘checking things out’. What did that mean?

“Dudley, do you know what kind of tests they were doing?” he asked breaking the silence.

Dudley shrugged. Just then the door opened and Sara, followed by a portly, middle-aged woman walked into the room.

“Marie here says that he should be back from CT and that we can go up and see if he’s awake. She’ll take us up since it’s a closed and controlled ward,” Sara informed the two men. “Dud are you coming or would you rather rest?”


“They just changed the bandage an hour ago…I think I’ll just stay,” he replied.

“Marie, this is…Remus Lupin,” she introduced Remus, almost forgetting his name; “He’s a friend of the family and Harry’s…professor?” Remus nodded in acknowledgement.
“Right then,” Marie said brightly, smiling at Lupin.

Sara and Remus followed the nurse out into the hall and down to the elevators. The three of them entered the lift and stood still and silent as they rose up another four floors, stepping out into a cold, bare, and deadly silent hallway.

Unlike the floor that Dudley was on. There were no doors, brightly colored with cards and “Get Well” signs. There were no happy and cheerful hospital staff, greeting them or smiling at them as they passed. Every employee seemed to be in a hurried state, solemn and silent while doing their job.

Walking down the hall, they reached a pair of automatic glass doors that had the words “Trauma Ward: Must be Accompanied by a nurse or doctor” painted in big white letters. Just outside the doors, Marie stopped and turned towards Remus and Sara, who were following close behind.

“The only way in and out of here is by scan-card,” she said quietly, pointing to the credit-card sized key in her hand and the scanner locked onto the door. “Also, when we enter, we ask that you keep your voices down.”

Marie took her key and swiped it through the scanner. There was a soft buzzing noise, acknowledging her keycard and then a soft whoosh as the doors opened. Remus and Sara followed Marie into the ward. There was a soft whirr of different machines and the gentle ‘blip, blip’ of monitors punctuating the deafening silence.

Sara and Remus followed Marie as she crossed the gigantic room. All around there were beds with occupants hooked up to all sorts of machines and had tubes coming out of everywhere. Remus looked around nervously. There were family members leaning over the beds, talking softly and most were crying. Other’s had curtains drawn around them to give the family and patients privacy from prying eyes.

The three of them crossed the ward and stopped outside another room that had the door closed and the curtains closed on the windows on either side of the door.

Marie opened the door to reveal a young woman dressed in a nurse’s uniform leaning over a bed similar to those out on the open floor of the ward.

“Oh. Hello Kara. Is he awake?” Marie said softly.

The young women turned around at the sound of Marie’s voice and looked up from her clipboard.

“Yup. Just woke up when we brought him back from CT,” the young lady, Kara, smiled at the three figures standing at the door and bent down over the bed. “Hey there young man…looks like you’ve got some visitors. Think you can stay awake to let them say hi?” She seemed to be waiting for some sort of answer and when she got it, she then turned back to the people at the door. “You can come on over and say hi. It's ok,” and she beckoned for Marie to allow Sara and Remus to come over to the bed side.


Sara slowly made her way across the room and Remus followed reluctantly behind, afraid of what he was about to see. As they approached the bed and Harry came into view, Remus’s breath caught in his chest and his heart broke.

Harry was lying flat on his back against the white backdrop of the sheets he was lying on. There were machines all around him, whirring and beeping. There was a tube coming out of his mouth that Remus knew to be a respirator that was helping him breathe. There were tubes coming out of everywhere; Out of his wrist, his stomach and even his head, which had been shaved. And there was a large line of staples that were obviously holding shut the skin on his head. His face was bruised and scratched.

On his chest and stomach were large bandages and gauze pads. The one on his chest was soaked thoroughly with blood. And then Remus’s eyes wrenched to Harry’s right side. Where there should have been an arm…there was nothing. Harry’s arm started and stopped at the shoulder and a large bandage was wrapped around the area, presumably covering up the wound.

Remus just stood at the end of the bed, staring at the boy as his heart broke and his stomach threatened to turn. He couldn’t move. Sara was up near Harry’s head, standing over him and stroking his forehead, softly talking to him.

From where Remus stood, he knew Harry could not see his horrified face. He didn't want to scare Harry. Did he know how bad he looked? How could he not?

Sensing his uneasiness, Kara came up from behind Remus and put a hand on his elbow.
“Why don’t you come over here,” She said softly leading him toward the left side of the bed. “Why don’t you hold his hand and talk to him. He won’t be able to answer back…but he blinks once for ‘yes’ and twice for ‘no’ though if you ask him something.”

Remus looked at her incredulously. Harry looked as if they had done surgery on his head…on his brain. He didn’t know a whole lot about Muggle medicine…but even in the Wizarding world, working on that part of the body was risky.

“Is he aware…does he have any damage due to his head injury?” asked Remus quietly, stopping.

“We were worried about that at first, but CT is clear and we stopped the bleeding before there could be any damage. He's actually doing really well and is responding to comands and pain. We do have a tube in his skull to relieve some of the pressure and drain any fluid. He’s awake and aware. He’s tired and pretty sedated. We have him medically paralyzed with some drugs so he can’t move involuntarily and damage something. He has a lot of internal injuries we had to go in and repair and movement could be harmful. He can’t squeeze your hand, but he knows people are there and can feel if you hold his hand,” she told him while bringing him round the side of Harry’s bed and bringing Harry’s hand to Remus and entwining them so not to disturb the I.V.

At this sudden movement Harry turned his eyes away from Sara and over to Remus who was now standing over Harry’s bed, looking down at him sadly.

Harry's eyes widened in shock and surprise at the sight of Remus. And in the next instant, there was a look of pain and fear in those bright green eyes, starying wildly back at Remus. His conveyed what his body could not.They said, 'Help me and get me out of here.'

"Oh Harry," Remus cried softly, stroking the boys cheek with the back of his hand. A silent tear formed in the corner of Harry's eye and fell slowly down his cheek. "I'm so sorry we couldn't find you sooner kid," Remus apologized quietly, swiping the tear away and letting a few of his own fall.

"I'll leave you two be ok?" Sara said smiling over Harry at Remus. She then leaned over Harry and gave him a kiss on his forehead, trying to mind the staples and tubes. "I'll come visit you tommorow ok?" She then turned to Remus, "And it was nice meeting you." With that she walked slowly out of the room and closed the door softly behind.

The young nurse, who was standing behind Remus, spoke suddenly. "I'm going to get things ready for Harry to be fed and I'll be back in a bit. All these monitors will alert us to any problems, but if we don't come and something's wrong...push that button behind you on the wall. It alerts the whole ward," she said pointing to a red button on the wall. Remus gave her a questioning look. Certainly Harry shouldn't be left alone right now. Sensing his worry she assured him, "He's stable right now, so I wouldn't worry ok?" And with that she picked up her clipboard and walked softly out of the room, leaving Remus alone with Harry.

"We thought we lost you," cried Remus, letting his pent up emotions pour out. He told Harry the story of how the Aurors guarding him had lost the car and tried to find him and when they failed, they alerted the Order of Harry's dissapearance. He told him about the reports and accounts of Harry's death and how they'd been trying to track down Dudley without alerting Death Eaters or You-Know-Who himself. Harry just lay there, following Remus's face with his tired eyes, furowing his brow and trying to understand everything Remus was telling him.


"...Then I came here and found Dudley and he told me you were alive," finished Remus a tear-filled smile on his face. "But I'm so sorry kid...I'm sorry you had to go through all this...had to suffer," Remus muttered sadly, taking in Harry's battered and broken body with his eyes. Harry looked at Remus sadly with his eyes as if to say, 'Don't! This is not your fault.'
"We're going to get you out of here ok? When I leave here, I'm going to alert the Order and we're going to figure out someway to get you out of here and home," Remus promised Harry, tightening his squeeze on Harry's hand. "It might take a bit longer as we're trying to keep You-Know-Who or anyone from finding out...you understand that, right?" He asked, waiting for Harry to blink once. When he did, he continued. "I just need you to hang in there, while we figure things out. I'm going to stay with you as long as I can...but I'm going to have to leave you here tonight, I'm sorry."

Harry looked at Remus and blinked once in understanding. 'How was it that Harry was so strong? How could he have gone through all this and still be willing to go through more to make sure things were done right, done safe?' Remus wondered to himself.

Just then Kara, the young nurse walked into the room with a cart full of tubing and bags filled with fluid. She smiled at Remus who was still standing over Harry's bed, clutching his hand. She walked over to the corner and pulled up a soft chair behind Remus and guided him into it.

"Here, you can sit with him while we feed him. It'll take about an hour...normally our visiting hours end at eight, but it'll be almost eight-thirty when we're finished. But you can stay with him the whole time if you'd like," she said, smiling at Remus at the same time she began setting tubing and bags of a white colored liquid on the bed. She turned to Harry and leaned close to him, so he could see her face. "Time to eat big guy.Need to keep you strong so you can keep on impressing the ladies when you get out of here," she said cheekily, smiling at Harry. Harry looked up at Remus, who had a small smile on his face and then turned his attention back to the nurse who had taken a hold of the tube that was sticking out of Harry's abdomen.


"Um...What are you doing?" Remus asked curiously.

"Oh. This is called a G-tube and it's what we use to feed intravenus and fluid nutrition and supplements directly into his stomach so he can keep him healthy. He can't eat food by mouth because of the ventilator and this is the quickest way to get the nutrition he needs into his body," she informed Remus while showing him the tube and the bags of "nutrition." She continued to clamp the end of the tube and twisted off a small cover. She then connected another end of a tube onto the bag and placed it into a machine that hung on a stand next to the bed, pushing buttons and causing it to start humming gently. She connected the Harry's tube to the one coming from the bag and removed the clamp, allowing the white fluid to drain down the tube and into Harry's stomach.

As the liquid reached the part where the tube went through the skin, Harry's stomach muscles contracted and twitched suddenly, causing Remus to gasp in alarm.

"Does it hurt him?" Remus asked worridly.

"No...I spose it's just cold to his muscles and that's what causes them to contract. He has no control of his muscles now that we have him sedated,so that's a normal reaction to the tube," she said, not looking up and watching the feeding monitor while making notes on her clipboard. Not totally believing her, she turned to Harry who blinked twice as if to tell him that it didn't hurt.

Remus sat there for the next hour or so in almost total silence, watching Harry and taking in the scene before him. He didn't want to leave him here tonight and allow them to continue to treat him in what seemed like a most barbaric fashion. Kara was in and out of the room, checking monitors and talking to Remus and Harry, suprised that Harry had been up for so long.


There was only five more minutes to go, according to the monitor, in the feeding when Harry suddenly took a deep gasp of air and one of the machines started to beep softly. Kara moved quickly to Sara's side and pushed a button on the monitor, silencing it. She grasped the tube and moved it a bit to the side, adjusting it and then placing then re-placing the tape to hold it in place.

"What happened?" asked Remus alarmed.

"That was the ventilator being triggered. He's starting to take breaths on his own and when he did, the tube moved and was pushing against the wall of the lung. I adjusted it and it should be fine now. It's actually a really good sign that he's trying to breathe," she informed Remus.
Remus looked down and saw that Harry had his eyes clamped shut and it was evident that the event had caused him some level of discomfort. Seeing Harry's discomfort, Kara leaned over and adjusted a gauge on one of the machines and turned to Remus.

"I'm going to give him a bit more medicine to help with the discomfort...he'll probably drop off to sleep now," she said softly.

"Thanks," Remus smiled at her gratefully. He turned back to Harry and leaned in closer to his face. "I'm going to have to leave now ok? I'll be back with the Order as soon as I can. You sleep and get some rest," He placed a soft kiss on Harry's forhead and gave his hand another squeeze before turning slowly and making his way to the door, stopping to take in one more glance at Harry before he headed out the door.

------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
Har ry felt his eyes begin to droop and listened as Remus told him goodbye and promised that he'd be back to get him...to save him.

Harry's heart lept and through all the pain and fear he felt a flicker of hope. He was no longer lost, the Order had found him and he wasn't going to be alone anymore.

He watched Remus's sad and defeated figure turn and walk from his bedside and then turned his attention back to the ceiling, letting his eyes close and sleep take him away from reality.
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