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Category: Alternate Universe, Post-HBP Characters:None Genres: Tragedy Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Sexual Situations, Violence Story is Complete Rating: R Reviews: 1174 Summary: Harry gets one night that gives him a glimpse into what life could be like with the Dursley's. But events turn for the worse and both Harry and the wizarding world are left wondering what it's consquences mean for the future of the world. Hitcount: Story Total: 501636; Chapter Total: 13045 Awards: View Trophy Room Author's Notes: I Don't own anything. JK Rowling owns the entire Potter Universe. No Copyright infringement is intended. I just write lowly fan fics to take up time |
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Chapter 18: Connecting “I’ll get it,” Harry said as he reached into his pocket and laid the correct number of notes on the counter, stepping in front of Mr. Weasley who was searching through his money clip, trying to figure out the Muggle currency. The woman at the counter at the local fast-food restaurant they had stopped at took Harry’s money and handed him back his change before Mr. Weasley or anyone else could protest. “There’s a space open over there,” whispered Ginny as she picked up her order of chicken strips and a chocolate shake (which Harry had to explain to her was chocolate syrup and ice cream blended together) and followed Harry into the sitting area with her father and Remus close behind. When they were all seated in a corner booth, Harry silently dug into his order of fish and chips, sipping slowly on his cola. He had to admit he was still trying to figure out why Marge had been so…so…nice to him. She had actually expressed concern over his well-being and it had taken Harry a while to get over the shock. He had been quiet the entire walk to the restaurant and had only spoken to suggest they stop and to explain to the others what various things on the menu were. Maybe the loss of her brother and sister-in-law had done something to the usually prudish woman? Maybe she did actually have a heart deep in that cold demeanor she was so famous for? She was a person after all wasn’t she? So why should he be so shocked that she had the capability to shoe empathy towards him? ‘She sicced her dog after you and chased you up a tree…maybe that’s why you think that you dolt!’ his inner voice told him matter-of-factly. His mind was about to give him more reasons when his internal monologue was interrupted. “Everything all right there Harry?” asked Remus as he watched Harry slowly munch on his food with a far away look in his eye. “Yeah,” Harry said quickly, snapping back to the present. “I was just thinking…that’s all.” “About your aunt?” Ginny asked, before biting into her chicken. “Yeah actually,” Harry admitted. “I think that was the first time she didn’t call me an ungrateful brat or told me I would have been sent to an orphanage if I’d have been left with her.” He chuckled a bit at the memory, but more to ease the tension from the uncertain and shocked looks the others were giving him at this revelation. “She what?” blurted Remus, abandoning his burger and staring at Harry incredulously; trying to figure out if he might be joking at all. “She never really liked me for whatever reason. Probably just because of what my uncle told her about me,” Harry said quietly. “She was always throwing out snide comments about or my mum and dad. I ignored her most of the time though…I got used to it.” Harry paused and a reminiscing grin threatened his lips. “Though one time…she did push me a bit too far and I–“ he started. “You blew her up,” Ginny finished. “Yeah…though unfortunately she doesn’t remember it though,” Harry said a bit darker than he had hoped he sounded. “She seemed a bit more tolerable today though,” Mr. Weasley offered, trying not to let on that he was shocked that Harry would ever get used to having mean and offending comments constantly thrown at him about him and his dead parents. “That was odd,” Harry said, taking a bite of his fish and then setting it down to wipe his hand off. “Things change I guess.” Everyone went back to eating their food quietly after Harry’s last thought, the only conversation being to discuss how they were getting to the graveyard. “Do you know what’s in the box?” Remus asked suddenly when he had finished his food and was waiting for everyone else. Harry paused and touched his foot to the cardboard box he had placed underneath the seat. “No,” he answered. He had wanted to rip it open and view the contents the moment it had been given to him. But not knowing the contents and what exact ‘sentimental value’ it held, he really wanted to do it alone, where he could react whatever way he needed to. “No…and…I’d sort of,” he stuttered, not wanting to sound rude, “I’d sort of like to…open it…on…my own.” “Later…” he added. “Oh,” Remus answered as least surprised as he could manage. “I just was curious as to whether you knew what it could possibly be.” Remus smiled at Harry and then turned his attention out the big window towards the busy street sidewalk where the mid-day crowd was. “If you two are done, we should make our way to the church. We still need to make our way back to the station before two if we plan on getting back to Grimmauld Place for your birthday dinner,” Mr. Weasley said gesturing to Ginny. “We’ll Floo from Grimmauld to the Burrow after that.” “I suppose I’m done,” Ginny said, pushing away her food and sipping the last of her shake. “Yeah,” Harry said putting back the chip he had in his hand. “I think that’s all the greasy food I can take.” His stomach felt oddly heavy, probably due to the fact that he had just recently had his insides ripped apart and stapled together and was still recovering from it. The four of them disposed of their garbage and headed out into the sunny street, where the hustle and bustle of cars and people during mid-day replaced the stark quietness of the air-conditioned restaurant. “We could probably just take a taxi,” Remus half-shouted above the noise, while waving to the nearest one, causing the driver to pull over to allow them to enter. “Harry,” Mr. Weasley said while leaning in close to Harry while Remus held open the taxi door for Ginny to climb in. “You should probably shrink that box so we fit easier.” Harry paused for a second, trying to make up an excuse to not use magic. For one thing, he didn’t have his wand with him. He hadn’t touched it since he had blown up the vase. And he really didn’t feel like blowing up the contents in the box before he got a chance to see them. He also didn’t want to bring attention to his out of control powers in broad-daylight, in a street full of Muggles. “I don’t remember the charm,” he said quietly. “I haven’t practiced anything with my left yet.” “Oh,” Mr. Weasley said quietly in understanding. “Right, I’ll just…” He lifted his wand from his pocket and discreetly pointed it at the box in Harry’s arm, making sure no one noticed. Once the box was shrunk to postage stamp size, Harry put it in his inside coat pocket next to his folded up invisibility cloak. “Thanks,” Harry replied as Mr. Weasley beckoned him towards the car, helping him slide into the seat next to Ginny, himself and Remus following close behind. When the car started moving at Remus’s instructions to the churchyard, Harry had to suppress a shudder, but knew that Ginny had sensed him tense against her because she placed a hand on the back of his head, rubbing softly. It was his first time in a car since the crash and every quick brake or sharp turn made him uneasy. Though, he had to admit, it wasn’t nearly a traumatic flashback as he had had on the train ride. He was glad when the cab driver pulled over outside of a large cathedral after ten minutes and asked Remus for the fare. He felt even better when his feet hit the pavement and he was able to watch the taillights of the cab disappear down the street. ----------------------------- ------------- “Do you know where they’re buried?” asked Harry as they entered the large graveyard and he began to look around at the, perhaps, thousands of headstones sprawled out over the area. “No,” replied Remus as he himself looked at all of the stones. “Maybe…maybe we can split up and search.” “Why don’t you and Ginny go together and Remus and I will look around…let you know if we find something,” Mr. Weasley added. “Ok,” Harry replied, “I’m guessing they’ll probably be near the back, these one’s nearer the church are much older.” “Let’s go Harry,” Ginny said as she took a hold of Harry’s hand and led him down the cobble-stoned path between the rows of graves. Ginny and he slowly made their way down the rows of headstones, stopping to check and re-check names and dates every once in a while. Harry had to stop once to button his coat up. The atmosphere in the graveyard seemed to fill him with a cold chill on the sunny August day. And as he passed through the graves, he couldn’t help but wonder if this is how the graveyard where his parents were buried felt. He remembered that he still had that hurdle to jump and began to think about what he would do, how he would feel when he eventually made it to Godric’s Hollow. The dread of seeing the resting place where his aunt and uncle were was weighing on him enough. Right now, all he was thinking of was finding the graves. But once he did, he wasn’t sure how he would react. They had been awful people…but no one deserved death. “These are from last year Harry,” Ginny said as she squinted over a grave of a man who had died in his eighties. “We must be getting–“ “Harry?” came an incredulous sounding voice from behind them. He had heard that voice before; it was so familiar. “Harry Potter?” cried a young woman’s voice as he turned around to greet the sound of his name. Coming up the narrow cobbled path that he and Ginny had been making their way up was Sara Grantman and a very somber looking Dudley walking closely behind her. Sara was dressed in a flowing light pink skirt and a white blouse. Dudley was dressed in a blue polo shirt and dark khakis, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Hello Sara, Dudley,” Harry replied inclining his head towards them as Ginny placed a supportive hand on the small of his back. “Oh my God, Harry,” Sara said as she came closer and inspected him. “You…you look good. I never expected you up and about so soon. Wow…how are you?” “Better…I’m getting better,” he replied quietly. Sara continued to shake her head and scrutinize him with an amazed and shocked look on her face. “It’s…wow…it’s just…they didn’t even expect you out of the hospital for three or four months,” she stuttered happily. “This is just amazing.” With that she pulled Harry into a hug, happy, but still not wanting to hurt him if he was still nursing any lasting agony. She pulled back, looking up at Harry who was grinning down at her appreciatively. “I’ve only just started getting around on my own,” he said, casting a glance at Ginny. “I’m still nowhere near back to normal though.” “But still…I remember seeing you…we were all worried about you…” she paused, quietly remembering seeing the boy before her broken and injured in the hospital ICU. “But it’s good to see you…and who’s this?” She said as she smiled at Ginny who was watching the scene enfold in front of her. “Oh,” Harry started, taking Ginny’s hand and smiling down at her. “This is Ginny…she’s my…my girlfriend.” “Oh…so you’re the lucky lady that snagged him?” Sara smiled playfully at Ginny. “I knew that he couldn’t possible be single.” “I don’t know about me being lucky…” Ginny sniggered, “I’d say I was the only one willing to put up with his stubbornness and hot head.” “Hey,” Harry cried, “I am right here.” This caused the two girls to fight and stifle their laughter. “Well…it’s nice to meet you Ginny. I’m Sara Grantman, Dudley’s girlfriend,” Sara interjected, properly introducing them. “Hello Dudley,” Ginny said quietly, turning her attention towards the previously quiet Dudley, who was looking around the graveyard and not paying much attention to the exchange. “Hello,” he replied quietly, only meeting her eyes for a second. Harry looked over at his sullen cousin, a pang of pity and sadness for the boy filling his stomach. “How are you Dud?” asked Harry genuinely. Dudley looked up, as if gauging Harry’s sincerity in the questioning and then took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. “I’m hanging in there,” he said quietly. “It’s hard…but things are slowly getting to some sort of normal.” “It’ll take time,” Harry replied softly, trying to think of something comforting to say. Dudley took a measured look at Harry before nodding. “Yeah…what brings you here Potter?” he asked abruptly. “I just came from the reading of your mum and dad’s will…thought I’d stop by and pay my respects…seeing as I couldn’t make it to the funeral,” Harry told him politely. “I couldn’t bring myself to go to that meeting,” Dudley breathed quietly, “thought I’d come here instead…spend the day with Sara. I already knew what I’d been left…didn’t see a point in going actually.” After Dudley’s last statement, there was an awkward silence where both Harry and Dudley stared at the ground between them. This was perhaps the most civil conversation and the most words the two young men had ever exchanged between each other. It was strange to have the wall Dudley had built around himself, that made him seem tough and uncaring, crumble and reveal the person within. “Have you been to the…the graves yet?” asked Dudley suddenly. “No…I wasn’t sure where…they were,” Harry replied, unsure of whether to say graves or their names. “You can follow us I guess,” Dudley said heavily as he pointed towards the far corner of the yard. The two couples made their way down the path together, Ginny and Sara each holding their boyfriend’s hands and walking together while the two cousins took up the ends. They walked in silence for a while; Harry trying to make sense of Dudley’s openness towards him, wondering if it was Sara’s influence or the death of his parents that had wrought the change. And Dudley was doing likewise, wondering why Harry was there. Why he would possibly bring himself to visit the graves of people who never treated him as if he belonged. “Harry…” Sara began as they walked slowly towards a far corner. She stopped and studied Harry with narrowed eyes. “What hospital were you transferred to? I came back the day that Mr. Lupin came to visit you and the charge nurse said you’d been moved earlier in the afternoon. Dudley wasn’t sure where you’d been taken…only that you’d been moved closer to where you spent time before school started each year. I really wanted to visit…or send you something…but wasn’t able to track you.” Harry stopped, looking at Ginny out of the corner of his eyes, panic gripping him and tightening around his throat, making speech impossible. How was he going to explain himself out of this one? Obviously Sara had been shocked to see him walking and mostly healed. There was no way he would be walking around or functioning like he was if he had stayed in the Muggle hospital. Harry could see it in her eye that she was confused and working things over in her mind, trying to figure out was amiss here. “I…um…” Harry stuttered, trying to think up a name of some hospital. Harry looked around at Dudley, who was watching Harry carefully. His recently softened expression was gone and replaced by a look that clearly was warning Harry not to mention his “unnaturalness” in his explanation. “It was…” Harry stumbled again, looking at Ginny for answers, who was looking as panicked as he was. His brain was a fog. He didn’t know what to say and she was beginning to look at him as if maybe he did have a brain injury after all. “I…Sara…I have to explain something,” he blurted. He had to be truthful, not just because he couldn’t explain why only weeks after a horrific and debilitating crash, he was walking around with no real lasting injuries visible expect a few bruises and a missing arm; But also because he was sick of keeping things from people. He had promised himself he’d stop that and he was beginning to that by telling his closest friends about the Prophecy…he felt he owned Sara the truth. She had, in all reality, saved his life by coming back for him when the car could have exploded and killed them all. “I’m a–“ he began. “Stop Potter…” Dudley interrupted, eying him dangerously. “Sara the reason you couldn’t find me is that I didn’t go to a hospital,” Harry began to explain. In the background Dudley began to shake his head and roll his eyes, breathing deeply to calm himself and keep himself from stopping Harry. “What do you mean?” Sara asked confused. “Harry...you were being kept alive by machines…how could you possibly have survived?” “I was taken away by friends and brought back with them. I was healed by magic. I’m a…a wizard,” Harry finished quickly before Dudley could stop him. He was sure Sara would probably start laughing at him, run away from him, or call him crazy. Instead Sara just stood there, pondering the ground, while Dudley grunted angrily. “You really are a freak,” he hissed angrily, grabbing Sara by the arm, and pulling her away from them. “Come on.” “Don’t call him that,” Ginny shouted at Dudley. “It’s ok Gin. I’ll come back another time…” Harry said, staring at the ground and walking back where they had come from. But Ginny grabbed his arm and stopped him, staring daggers back at Dudley. “No Harry,” she shouted again, “it’s not ok to call you that, because you’re not a freak. You came because you cared enough to forget everything they’ve done to you. I thought maybe he’d have enough sense to realize that. ” “Not a freak?” cried Dudley with a sneer worthy of Draco Malfoy. “He’s always been one. Always blowing things up, forcing mum and dad to explain away all of the weird things that happen when he’s around…Just because he’s got himself a pretty girl and nice clothes doesn’t mean he isn’t still a weirdo. She’s probably a weirdo too.” “Don’t you EVER talk about her like that again,” Harry hissed through his clenched jaw, stepping forward towards Dudley, using his newly acquired height to to “Harry…” Ginny warned as the wind in the graveyard seemed to pick up and the sun seemed to shrink behind the clouds. She new he was close to loosing control and the changing weather seemed to be consistent with his mood, brought on by his heightened level of power. “I thought I’d heard your name before,” said Sara quietly, looking up for the first time since the exchange had begun. “What?” blurted both Harry and Dudley in unison, stopping their stare down competition to look incredulously at Sara who was nodding her head as if assuring herself of something. “I’ve read your name before…in a newspaper…when I met you I remembered seeing your name…but I never put two and two….” Sara mused to herself. “Sara…sweetheart….what are you talking about? You know about his kind?” Dudley replied, peering at her while shaking his head, trying to understand what he had just heard. “My cousin Renee, she’s a…a witch. Her mother married a…wizard. She got her letter when we were ten to go to a magic school. She writes me sometimes to tell me about things and I go over to her house every once in a while,” Sara replied, trying to put things together for herself and for the rest of them. “I saw your name in a newspaper one day when I was over. I always like reading the paper because the pictures move…” “Your cousin Renee, the one we talked with at the wedding, she’s a witch?” Dudley said, trying to figure out how he missed that little detail. “Yeah. We aren’t allowed to talk about it in public. Something about their law prohibiting normal people from finding out. Though she called us..M-“ “Muggles,” Harry finished in a whisper. “Yes…that,” Sara said, looking up at Harry with a look of understanding. “So you really are magical? You’re the same Potter from the newspaper?” “Yeah…that’d be me,” Harry sighed, wondering what article about himself she had read. If it was his luck, it probably had been one from before his fifth year that said he was crazy, attention-seeking lunatic. “So you were healed by spells and stuff?” Sara asked. “Yeah…I’ve got a lot of scars that won’t go away and my arm…arm isn’t going to grow back, but I’m up and about because of wizarding medicine,” Harry replied. “You’re all crazy...” Dudley cried as he listened to his normal girlfriend talk to his freak cousin about the magical world. It seemed as though everything was coming crashing down around him. The world that his parents had tried so desperately to keep a secret from the outside world seemed to be suddenly colliding with the normal one that he lived in. “Dudley…” Sara began. “No…you actually believe all this…this stuff about magic?” Dudley said backing away from her down the path. “Why didn’t you ever say anything before?” “What does it matter if my cousin and her father are magical? What does that have to do with anything?” Sara snapped back at him. “Why do you hate him so much? Why are you so afraid of talking and knowing about this?” “Why?” cried Dudley incredulously “Why? Because it’s…it’s…I DON”T KNOW ALRIGHT!” And with that, Dudley turned and headed on towards the grave. Sara reached for his arm, but he wrenched it out of her grasp. “No Sara…just let me be…I need to be alone,” he said heavily, leaving her in his wake to stare after his hulking figure making it’s way between headstones. Harry watched Sara’s gaze follow her broken boyfriend’s path. His heart broke as he watched the familiar scene play out in front of him. He’d seen this before. He’d been the one to push away the one’s he loved, to keep things from people. Harry let go of Ginny’s hand and began to walk down the same path that Dudley had taken, brushing past Sara. “Harry?” questioned Ginny as he pulled away. “Stay here…I’ll be back,” he said over his shoulder. --------------------------- ------------------ Harry finally caught up with Dudley as he stood over the freshly turned up earth of his parent’s recently dug graves. Harry slowed his pursuit, walking slowly up beside Dudley as the boy stared down at the headstones in front of him. “You don’t want to do this Dud,” Harry said quietly, taking in his aunt and uncle’s names on the dark marble stones. “Do what?” asked Dudley, not looking up. “Don’t push her away…don’t walk away from her,” Harry replied. “Don’t tell me what I’m supposed to do,” Dudley retorted. “You have no idea what it I’m going through.” “That’s the understatement of the century,” Harry sneered quietly. “What?” “I think I know a little bit about what you’re going through,” Harry replied clearly. “I know exactly how it feels actually to have your parents taken from you, to feel alone and confused. What happens when you push people you care about away.” Dudley looked up for the first time, realization spreading across his face as he met Harry’s gaze. But he soon looked down shaking his head as if trying to disrupt the jumble of thoughts racing through his mind. “Everything so screwed up,” Dudley sighed, watching sun dance against the smooth marble surface of the stones. “Nothing makes sense anymore…I just…I just don’t want to lose her and I thought…” “You thought that if she found out that you were related to a wizard, she wouldn’t understand,” Harry finished for him. “She’s not going anywhere,” Harry added, looking back to where he had left Sara and Ginny. They were sitting on a small stone bench now, looking as though they were deep in conversation. Dudley looked up to where Harry was looking, a sad expression on his face as he watched the two young woman chatting across the graveyard. “Didn’t you hear her say that me being a wizard or her uncle and cousin being magical…it has nothing to do with you and her or your relationship,” Harry asked him. “She understands.” “What if I don’t understand anymore?” Dudley said quietly, bending down to place the bouquet of flowers between the graves. “Huh?” “I’ve had a lot of time to think,” Dudley said quietly. “There’s a lot I don’t understand. I don’t understand why…why you tried to save us…after all of things we’ve done to you over the years. I just…just can’t fathom why you risked your life for us.” “Nobody deserves to die,” Harry spoke quietly. “I didn’t really have time to think. We were in trouble; I thought I could reach him in time to pull him off the wheel. It wasn’t enough.” “Yeah…but you tried,” Dudley said as he turned to Harry. “I was too scared to do anything. You…you tried to save us…you saved me from those Dementor thingies two summers ago.” “I was terrified,” Harry said firmly. “None of those things had anything to do with magic or happened with me even taking one second to consider the things that have gone on between us.” “That’s what gets me,” Dudley murmured. “I have the hardest time looking past everything I’ve been told to think about you, about magic…about whatever.” “Dudley…” Harry began. “I’ve been thinking…and I can’t understand why my mum and dad hated you so much. Why I hated you. I can’t understand how you can look past everything, when I can’t. I’ve never made the effort to get to know you…instead I still think of you as the orphan freak that my parents took in,” Dudley said quietly, looking away from his parent’s graves. Harry looked over it his cousin, wondering for the second time today if he had actually died and gone to a place where everyone who ever did him wrong, saw the err of their ways. What was next, Voldemort would pop out from behind a tree and shake his hand? “It gets me angry, makes me…so confused to know that I’ve gone through most of my life thinking one way…being told one thing,” Dudley said as he tore his gaze away from the stones. “It makes me think that maybe my parents weren’t the wonderful people I thought they were. That maybe….I don’t know... And thinking ill of them makes me angry at myself.” “They weren’t awful people,” Harry said, surprising even himself, but knowing what he was saying was somehow true. “They were afraid of things that were different…they didn’t understand magic and my world…so they decided to ignore it. I don’t even understand why they disliked my parents or magic in general. There might have been something there, there may not have been.” “How do you do it?” Dudley interrupted suddenly. “What?” Harry said looking up at Dudley who was staring at him from behind stark blue eyes. “How do you go through every day without them? Your parents?” Dudley asked. Harry looked away from Dudley and began to ponder his shoes and the ground below him, not because he didn’t know how he went on without parents, but he’d heard that question before. He’d heard it from Dudley before actually, though he was sure he had given an answer. But where had they had this conversation before? Why did this all seem familiar? Flashback Harry heard voices speaking softly in the background, just below the level of the soft beeping and whirring of the machines all around him. There had been voices when he awoken the first time. Nurses and doctors, blurry figures in white hospital uniforms shifting him and checking him over. He hadn’t been able to see anything other than the ceiling above him and the tube coming out of his mouth, hadn’t been able to move without experiencing pain beyond belief, and he had been scared. Nurses had leaned over him as he struggled tried meekly thrash about in confusion, causing machines to go haywire. They kept telling him he was going to be alright and to calm down. But the strange nurse’s voice and reassurances had done nothing to calm that panic that was seizing his entire body and foggy brain. He didn’t know where he was, didn’t know how hurt he actually was, and he wanted to see someone familiar, he didn’t want to be alone. It hadn’t made things any better when he had woken up another time, finding it impossible to move at all, or feel anything at all. The doctor had leaned over him, telling him they’d paralyzed him so he didn’t’ hurt himself. Then the doctor had gone on to explain all of his injuries and his prognosis. But all Harry could think was that he was a sitting duck for Death Eaters to come and take. He was trapped inside his battered body, unable to communicate or defend himself. He didn’t even know if anyone knew where he was. If they had, wouldn’t they have gotten out of this place by now? But the voices he heard now, they were vaguely familiar. “Can he hear us?” He heard a girl’s voice say near him. He wanted to sit up and see who it was, but all he could do is strain his eyes in that direction. “Yes,” said an older woman’s voice. The nurse who had tried to tell him it’d be alright. He didn’t like her. “He’s on an I.V. drip that keeps him paralyzed. He panicked when he first woke up and we had to keep him from hurting himself. I think he was a bit overwhelmed. It’d do him some good to have some familiar faces to look at and to talk to him.” Harry heard the sound of someone settling into a chair to his right. He strained his eyes towards the sound, trying to see who it was who had come to see him. Sara’s face swam into his vision as she leaned over him, her long blonde hair tucked behind her ears. “Hello Harry,” she whispered, her voice was heavy and the tears were visible in her eyes as she looked sadly down at him. All he could do in response was blink in acknowledgement. “Sorry we took so long to come see you,” she whispered, smiling sadly down at him. “We were taken to a different hospital and only transferred here this morning. They only told us a few minutes ago we could come see you...I’m so sorry Harry….” Sara pulled away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, trying not to break down as she stared down at his broken body. Harry closed his eyes against the tears he knew were coming. All the emotions he had been feeling were boiling to the surface as he watched Sara struggle to control her own. He was scared, he’d been through hell, and he was afraid of what might really be wrong with him and what it might mean for him when he did get better…if he got better at all. He wanted his friends; he wanted to be safe at Hogwarts or the Burrow. He wanted to be held by Mrs. Weasley. He wanted to see Lupin. He needed Ginny. “It’s alright…don’t cry Harry…it’ll be…it’ll be ok,” Sara cried as she wiped the tears that were now falling down Harry’s bruised and dirtied face with the corner of her sleeve. “Just hang in there…it’s going to be alright…” “Dudley…take his hand,” Sara whispered as she wiped away the tears carefully. Through his tears he looked over to where Sara had gestured. He hadn’t noticed Dudley sitting on his left side. But there he was, sitting in what looked like a wheelchair, staring blankly at Harry. Dudley’s face was pale, the dark circles under his eyes standing stark against the skin. His hair was matted and grimy, looking as though he hadn’t thought of a shower or shave since the accident. “Dudley…” Sara said again quietly, a tone of pleading in her voice. Dudley looked over at Sara heavily and swallowed. He must have taken his hand, because Harry felt a faint pressure in his palm and throughout his fingertips. “It’ll be ok Harry,” Dudley said quietly, in a voice that seemed so small coming from the large boy. “Miss Grantman?” came the voice of the nurse from somewhere outside of Harry’s peripheral. “Mmhh?” hummed Sara in response not taking her eyes away from Harry. “I just received a page from your room, the doctor would like to check you over for your release,” the nurse said. “They just need to look you over before they can sign you out.” “Ok…” Sara said, turning towards the nurse. She then turned back to Harry and placed a kiss on his forehead, being mindful of the bandages and cuts. “I’ll be back,” she said to both Dudley and Harry before she disappeared from Harry’s view. The room returned to the same eerie silence, punctuated by the blips and beeps emanating from the machines pumping life and medicine into Harry. The rhythmic noise played at Harry’s consciousness, causing his eyes to droop and close. But a deep and shaky sigh brought him full back into reality. “How do you do it?” Dudley’s dead sounding and hollow voice asked. He sounded hoarse and nasally, as if he’d done a lot of crying and screaming in a short period of time. Harry knew he probably had. He’d just lost his parents in a horrific crash, Dudley was a great bullying git, but he was human. Harry turned his sleepy gaze towards Dudley, who was furrowing his eyes at Harry, still clutching his hand, surprisingly. “It’s only been a day and I don’t think I can take any more,” Dudley said, talking out loud, but not looking at Harry, but at the tubes and I.V’s coming from the back of his hand. “You’ve done this your whole life…I know you can’t answer me…you probably wouldn’t if you could…I don’t deserve an answer from you…I’ve done things, but…but you’re the only one who can possibly understand,” Dudley whispered. “Everyone else tells me how sorry they are…telling me it’ll get better. But they don’t know…they have no clue.” Dudley’s voice trailed off softly as his breath hitched and he stifled a sob. All Harry could do was stare back in amazement as his usually frigid and stony cousin broke down before him. Despite all of the hardships and abuse Dudley and his parents had inflicted on him over the years, Harry knew that what Dudley was going through wasn’t fair and he didn’t wish it on anyone. Dudley had it right. Harry knew exactly what it was like to lose his mum and dad and he knew what it was like to have people telling him things would be alright. He’d had enough of that since the accident, having people lean over him and tell him to hang in there. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t move. There was nothing he could do to respond, to send any message of comfort to his grieving cousin. Then a thought crossed his mind. He could barely feel Dudley’s grip on his hand. Maybe he could squeeze it a bit, let him know he understood. That he cared. Harry bent all of his energy on moving a finger or his hand. He had no way of knowing if he was successful or not until Dudley let out a small gasp and moved forward in his chair. “Can you feel this? Did you just squeeze my hand?” he asked, squeezing Harry’s hand a bit harder. Harry blinked and squeezed back as best he could. “You don’t deserve this…” Dudley whispered as he felt Harry squeeze back. “You don’t have to believe I mean it…but I’m sorry Harry…for everything.” There was another hesitant silence that filled the room, leaving both boys to revel in their thoughts, though still clinging, however distantly, together through this. “I need to change he bandages on his right side,” said the nurse’s voice as the blurry vision of her scrubs floated into Harry’s field of view. “You can wait outside or…” “I’ll stay…” Dudley said firmly. Harry couldn’t feel the nurse peel off the bloodstained bandages off of his recently sewn together skin on his right side and shoulder, but he watched the skin on Dudley’s already wan face pale and his expression flinch and wince in pain for Harry. Harry gave another soft squeeze to Dudley to let him know he wasn’t in pain. Dudley looked down at Harry and sighed deeply. “It’ll be ok….” “You’ve asked me that before,” Harry said quietly. “In the hospital…you were there when I woke up…I remember you there.” “I didn’t know if you would or not,” Dudley replied in almost a whisper. “I wasn’t sure if you really understood what I was saying…I just had to talk to someone.” “I remember,” Harry told him. “Dudley,” Harry began after a momentary pause, “I don’t know how I deal with my parents not being here. I suppose…I suppose my situation is a bit different from yours. I never really knew my mum and dad. They were gone before I can remember. I have a few memories, some pictures, but that’s all I have to cling to…to mourn.” “You have years of memories and things are still so clear and fresh for you…and on some level…I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” Harry started again. “But as I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten harder for me. I used to feel detached from my parent’s deaths because I couldn’t remember them really. But as things happened in my life that they should have been here for, I found the hurt, the loneliness hitting me harder than it ever had. I find there are so many things I want to ask them, things that are happening that I wish I had more than a friend to turn to for.” Harry stopped again, not knowing if what he was sharing with his cousin was helping at all. Dudley just remained still, staring down at the fresh dirt beneath their feet. “But what I can tell you Dudley,” he said as he focused his thoughts, “is that you need to let the people you still have, help you through this. You have to let them help you see it’s alright to laugh and get back some sense of normalcy. That it’s alright to go on living. I can tell you…it may get easier to deal with…but it will never go away. Even though I remember very little about my mum and dad, there isn’t a day that goes by where it doesn’t hurt a little and I don’t think of them. But I have people around me who want to help me. I know you have Sara. She wants to help you…just let her. And I know we have never been on the best of terms, but…I’m here too.” Harry paused to watch for Dudley’s reaction. Dudley began to nod his head slowly and looked up to catch Harry’s gaze. “Thank you,” Dudley said quietly. “Thank you Dudley,” Harry answered. “You and Sara were there in the hospital when I was scared and alone. Despite everything that’s come between us…you stayed and told me everything was going to be ok…I never thanked you for that. And for coming back for me.” “I wouldn’t have if Sara hadn’t have been there,” Dudley whispered in an oddly horrified voice. “But you did,” Harry said firmly. “You risked your own life for mine…I would have died for sure if you hadn’t pulled me out from between the car and the tree. You saved my life and I’ll never forget that.” Dudley nodded in acknowledgement of Harry’s thanks and gratefulness, not quite sure how to respond. “It’s kind of odd that it’s taken this to get us to have a decent conversation,” Dudley sighed after a while. “A bit,” Harry agreed. “But I’m glad we’re doing this.” Harry reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out two single roses he had picked up on the way here. He very slowly and slightly unsteadily knelt down and put them on each of the graves, taking his time to look at each of the stones. When he was finished, he shakily pulled himself to his feet, stumbling back a bit. He had to admit his legs were a bit tired, in fact his whole body was tired from walking and being out and about for the first time. “You alright?” Dudley asked with his voice genuine with concern. “Still a bit unsteady, but yeah,” Harry breathed. When he was sure Harry wasn’t going to fall over, Dudley gestured towards the two girls who were still sitting on the bench talking. Harry noticed that both Lupin and Mr. Weasley had returned and were standing next to them, obviously watching the two cousins from afar. “She is beautiful,” Dudley blurted. “And I’m sorry about what I said before…about her being a–“ “She’s amazing,” Harry said smiling at Ginny as he walked back towards her. “And forget it–that’s behind us.” -------------------------------- ----------------- (At the same time as Dudley and Harry’s exchange) “Let them talk,” Ginny said as she walked up behind Sara. “Come on…let’s sit down.” Sara glanced back at the boys and then turned to join Ginny on a stone bench nearby. “I’m sorry about what he said to you,” Sara said as she sat down. “This is so hard on him, and I just don’t know what to do sometimes.” “I’ve heard worse,” Ginny smiled. “He just needs time. I can’t imagine losing my parents…that has to be tough enough on him. And there are some things that those two need to work out…things that I don’t even understand. Just stick by him…he needs you…no matter how far away he pushes you…he needs you.” “Are really a witch too?” Sara asked after she took some time to ponder Ginny. “Yeah,” Ginny nodded. “I come from a family of nine full-blown wizards.” “That must get crazy,” Sara said as she tried to loosen up a bit and trust Ginny that Harry could talk some sense into Dudley. “It’s certainly interesting,” Ginny laughed casting glances towards the corner where Harry and Dudley were now standing over a grave. “It can be pretty chaotic at times, but I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.” “So how did Harry and you meet? He always seemed like a pretty shy bloke and I’m not sure how many magical people there actually are…” “We met at school. My older brother Ron is Harry’s best friend,” Ginny replied. “Harry’s stayed at our house at the end of summer for years now…my mum treats him like a son…he’s almost like a part of our family actually.” “So you two have been together for a while then?” Sara asked, again looking towards the boys who seemed to be deep in conversation. At least they weren’t yelling at each other. “No,” Ginny laughed. “You were right about Harry being a shy bloke…not to mention thick. I’ve had a crush on him since I first met him when I was ten. He didn’t start to notice me till the end of last term. It hasn’t been that long…but it’s been wonderful.” “You seem good for each other,” Sara smiled at her. “How did you and Dudley meet?” Ginny asked. “Well…I went to the same primary school as Harry and Dudley so I knew him from there,” Sara told her. “I lost track of him when he went off to private school…but over Christmas break last year we met a few times at gatherings and started talking. We wrote each other and on weekend breaks we got together. I guess it just went from there. I always thought he was a bully and a git…that’s the way I remembered him from school…but he’s actually really nice and caring. Sometimes he doesn’t let other people see that.” “I know how that is. Harry likes to keep his feelings and things to himself. He doesn’t like to burden people with any problem. He likes to push people away sometimes,” Ginny sighed. “If Harry doesn’t like to show his feelings and let people in...I mean it took him years to find you…what was the big earth-shattering moment?” Sara asked, curiosity ripe in her tone. “He walked in on me kissing my ex-boyfriend,” Ginny half-laughed at the memory. “What did he do?” Sara questioned. “Harry doesn’t seem the type to beat anyone up.” “No,” Ginny replied with a grin on her face. “He didn’t do anything for almost the whole year. I didn’t find out till after we were going out actually that he wanted to jinx my boyfriend into jelly. He spent the next few months wrestling with whether he felt brotherly protective of me or if he was just mad because he wanted to be the one kissing me.” “So how when did he decide that it was the second one?” Sara asked. “Probably when he was kissing me in front of about fifty people, my brother and ex-boyfriend included,” Ginny laughed at the memory. “He what?” Sara blurted in shock. “He came back from a detention that he served that made him miss a Quidditch game–it’s a sport on brooms,” Ginny paused, explaining what Quidditch was because of Sara’s confused look. “I don’t really know what came over me, but as soon as I saw him, I went to give him a hug and the next thing I knew he was kissing me.” “That is really romantic, perfect almost,” Sara said with a smile. “Yeah…but he was a nervous, bumbling wreck after that. We took a walk around the lake after the kiss and I really think he thought I was going to hex him for the kiss,” Ginny laughed. “He was pretty stupid about the whole relationship and girl thing for a while. But once he relaxed a bit…and wasn’t so bloody nervous all the time…it’s been like a dream.” Sara was about to respond when they were interrupted by shuffling footsteps coming up the stone path that made both girls turn. “Where’s Harry?” asked Arthur as he and Remus came up behind the two girls on the bench. Ginny turned and pointed to the place where Harry and Dudley were standing. Dudley was standing with his hands in his pockets looking down and Harry was with his head turned towards his cousin as if watching for a reaction to a question. “They’re talking?” asked Remus, the surprise in his voice evident. “They’ve been at it for a while actually,” Ginny interjected. “Oh hello Sara,” Remus replied as he looked down at the blonde girl beside Ginny. “Hello Mr. Lupin. It’s nice to see you again,” Sara replied with a smile. “Sorry Sara,” Ginny said suddenly. “This is my father Arthur Weasley. Dad this is Sara Grantman, Dudley’s girlfriend.” “Nice to meet you Sara,” Mr. Weasley said as he offered his hand. “Do you think we should go and–“ Remus asked, taking a hesitant step down the path as he watched the two young men interact. “No…let them be,” Ginny said quietly. The four of them watched Harry kneel down as if looking closely at something and then stand up slowly, a bit unsteady. Ginny almost got up for a second, but breathed as he righted himself and Dudley looked as though he would have lent a hand. Before anyone could say or suggest anything else, Harry and Dudley were making their way back towards them, walking next to each other and chatting amongst themselves. “Everything alright?” Arthur asked as Harry and Dudley came to a stop in front of them. Dudley brought a hand to Sara and took her arm, pulling her into a hug and whispering softly in her ear. “Yeah…everything’s alright now,” Harry said as he held his own hand for Ginny and helped her up. “If you’re ready…we’ve got a birthday to get to,” Arthur replied with a smile and a nod of understanding. “Right,” Ginny whispered as she smiled at Harry and then at Dudley and Sara who were still talking in hushed tones to each other. “I guess I’ll see you later Dud,” Harry said as he turned to his cousin. “Yeah…” Dudley replied. “Take care of yourself.” “I’ll try…” Harry said, almost laughing to himself. He had an evil dark lord after him and a destiny that was almost sure to end in death. Like taking care of himself was really in his hands? “Bye Harry,” Sara smiled. “Bye Ginny…it was nice meeting you.” “Bye,” Ginny nodded as she put an arm around Harry and they turned to follow Remus and Arthur out of the churchyard. She knew that something had happened to both Harry and Dudley as they stood over those graves in the corner. She didn’t know what had been said, but it had wrought a change in the two of them. Maybe Harry would tell her later, maybe he wouldn’t. But she was glad that he had finally lain to rest one of his demons from his past. A/N: This turned into another monster and took up more chapter than I thought possible. So the birthday scene and the unveiling of the box contents will be next chapter…I Promise! I don’t know how you like this one. Dudley may have been OC…but maybe the death of his mother and father would have caused him to change. Who know? Review and tell me what you think. That’s one of the reasons I let this stand alone as a chapter…if it stinks…then it won’t effect the others as much. |
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