|
Reviewer: ngayonatkailanman Signed Date: 2018.01.31 - 03:41AM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected
Oh dear. K Not Teddy!
Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2017.11.02 - 01:10AM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected
This story has a good plot and there are places that can be expanded to enhance certain parts of this story.
But, the grammar needs to be looked at. This is the main problem. Maybe have a beta to help correct these problems.
Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.10.22 - 01:28AM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected
I like the idea of the story, but the grammar is awful. It is difficult to read at times because of the poor grammar and switching tenses. You missed a great opportunity to show us the African adventure. Instead you simply told us about it, instead of letting us see it from Harry's or Ginny's pov. I'm guessing the kid they keep talking about it Teddy and Andromeda was the one injured. Why do they keep calling him 'the kid'? It makes him seem less important.
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 06:18PM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected
This looks like it could be a great, all action story. But... the grammar is terrible. Are you a native English speaker. If so take away five points, otherwise take five points for effort. You keep changing tense, past, present, and it makes for an odd read. Please accept this as constructive criticism and keep it coming.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 03:52PM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected
As Slughorn would say, OH HO HO! This one is off to a roaring start! I have a bad feeling the victim is Teddy! I would hate to be the perps on this because they are going to have a seriously PO'd Harry and Ginny to deal with on top of the other Weasleys! Can't wait to see where you take this! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
