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Wow. What a fic. I really like it, but it's just kinda... confusing. It's written very ... agh... what's that style called? Not moment-something-or-other.... Anyway, the style that's following thoughts, which is why it's confusing every once in a while. I do, however, sometimes just skip over a line because my brain can't comprehend the sheer force of all of Harry's thoughts. I wonder if that's what my thoughts are like... hmmm...

Aaaanyway, what I'm trying to say is this: while sometimes hard to understand, I really enjoy reading your fanfiction and hope to continue reading it.

If you'll just ignore that first paragraph now... :| Please excuse my typed-out thoughts. :P

Author's Response: Now we\'re even. : ) Thanks for reading!

Wonderful chapter. I was so hoping that we'd get to see this conversation, and it proved even better than I'd imagined in my own head. If there was an award for strange fiction, this one would win. And I don't mean that in a negative, or demoting way...but in a wonderful, perplexing--like you've stepped into another world and are having trouble assimilating way.

Now you've got me thinking like Deasil--which is, I believe the best compliment I could give.

Anyway, back to the review. I like the way Harry, erm, Deasil hears both what Ginny is saying and not saying. It's a wonderful twist that must endear her even more to him, to have that type of connection with someone you are genuinely attracted to.

I liked the way you handled the Chamber issue. Cool twist having the 'almost-Boy-Who-Lived' be the one to save Ginny. Really liked where Ginny realized that she didn't have to fall in love with Neville because he saved her life. It was okay just to be friends. The huge paragraph that just kept going and going was, at first, off putting to my rational mind. But then, at the end of it, I stopped and looked back over it...and really liked the way it just tumbled and stumbled out...mimicking how I imagine it came out of Ginny. Perfect.

I'm excited for the next chapter. You've got me completely hooked.

Author's Response: I\'m very humbled at your generosity and grateful for your stamina in braving this foggy and windy weather. Or long-winded. I\'m very happy that the variations on canon are working - when I thought this all out it was some of the most fun to do, having the characters progress without a canon Harry. I thought they ought to do well anyway, you know? And not having a savior around means you have to save yourself, right? More on the way - thanks again for reading.

Reading the previous review, I have to say that I wish I could think the way Deasil does. I'm just not smart enough for that. *sigh* But that's all right, at least what he's thinking makes sense to me; and I am grateful for that.

Interesting turn of events here. I probably should go back to reread one of the previous chapters that sort of explains why Arthur took him away but I'm not going to do that just now because I'm too tired. There was a prophesy, and Arthur thought it was about Harry, so he took him away (please correct me if I'm wrong). I'm mentioning that because I'm wondering if, in this universe, Neville is the boy of the prophesy.

I liked there conversation. I like the fact that they told each other that they liked each other. It could be assumed that it's a like that could definitely turn into something more very quickly.She trusts him. He says what he thinks and he can do nothing but be honest. Therefore she can do nothing but trust him.

And the rug that was rubbing against her was nice touch!

The other thing I wanted to say was about your punctuation. Now, I'm not an editor or anything like that and I don't necessarily know all of the rules about grammar and what not. But I'm curious as to why the paragraph that starts "But some secrets..." isn't really a paragraph, it's one long sentence? There were many places where a comma could've been replaced with a period or even a semi-colon. It's just an observation.

Thanks for the longer chapter and for their conversation.

Jen


Author's Response: Thanks for sticking with it thus far. Is he smart or does he just think in a strange way? I\'m not sure, but I\'m glad you like him. You\'re not wrong, Arthur thought he was the boy. Is Neville the boy in the prophecy? Prophecies are funny things to me. You never know until it\'s all over what they mean. I\'m glad you liked the rug. I did too. The thing about the animated rug and bedspread and curtains and luggage is, it wasn\'t in my original idea, but I had so much fun trying to give the bedspread a personality - and then his bag that he carries to the Potter house struck me as funny, and it went from there. It\'s just a way his magic appears, partially I think because he has a sense of humor. Anyway, the \"But some secrets...\" paragraph - that\'s a bit of what is referred to as stream-of-consciousness, or writing that\'s intended to stylistically emulate the way we really think, as opposed to the way we traditionally write about thinking. The huge number of commas I use in general comes from the desire to depict one thought after another as opposed to clearly delineated, discrete thoughts. Deasil\'s mind tends to race a bit. Mentally, he could stop to take a breath every once in a while. One has to love an attentive audience. Thanks for your review.