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Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2020.04.08 - 04:17PM Title: To Sleep

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Confus would be proud...kutgw



Reviewer: Hpfan27 Signed Date: 2013.10.13 - 11:13PM Title: To Sleep

The unmovable object breaks



Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2013.06.28 - 09:18AM Title: To Sleep

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Sadly, it has become apparent that neither Harry or Ginny have any character or personality. The main part of this chapter is author-speak-personality using two labels: Harry and Ginny, explaining to the reader at some length how they need to be touching so they can sleep and how they can teleport by willpower alone. The two and fro of bland voices in a void did, as I feared, become tedious. I wasn't moved at all when Ginny cried any more than a robot. It just doesn't work pouring it out like this.

It's a shame because technically the writing is okay and the plot has promise but it's the storytelling that is really just a list without pace, emotion, or feeling. I ought to look ahead to see if it improves but really I'm inclined to abandon it here...



Reviewer: sunnyseaforever Signed Date: 2012.05.19 - 12:12AM Title: To Sleep

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I love that you introduce something new every chapter or explahn something from previous ones and how all of it are somehow connected together.
The lines that I liked are:
I always wanted a stuffed bear. Now, I can be one. That’s close enough for me.
The gorillas weren’t really pink, though.
Pity.
“What happens when an unstoppable force encounters an unmovable object?”



Reviewer: YeCatsJ Signed Date: 2011.10.13 - 01:02PM Title: To Sleep

LOVED your last line - PRICELESS!!!! LOL



Reviewer: Monty Signed Date: 2009.02.23 - 10:37AM Title: To Sleep

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Pah, Dumbledore's so rude about Mrs. Weasley. Really good end to the chapter again! Perhaps a slightly slow beginning, but that may just be because it was overshadowed by the brilliant body.

Really enjoyed this chapter, the fluctuating power from H&G first finding out about their new ability, to McGonagall taking them to the headmaster, H&G explaining why they had to, Dumbledore forbidding them, H&G showing him he couldn't stop them and finally Dumbedore's suggestion of Molly as the decider. A lot of fun! Bit of a rollercoaster of feeling empowered, then out of their own control.

I also really liked the H&G interplay and how their emotions are so tightly knitted together, but still leaving room for each to surprise the other (or to surprise themselves perhaps?) - made for some fun dialogue.

Anyway, I have a lecture to go to!

Monty

Author's Response: Dumbledore's a little sneaky, eh? Deferring a decision like that onto Molly avoided him having to do it, and gave him an 'out' if anyone ever called him on the mess.
Thanks for reading.



Reviewer: Taku Signed Date: 2009.02.08 - 06:24PM Title: To Sleep

Here is an interesting question (it is the same for the original books):

Why does Peter Pettigrew not show up on the marauders map, both variants. That he is visible in his transformed state is proven by book three. So if Harry and Ginny are seen in one bed Ron and Peter (and Percy and Peter a few years earlier) should show up just the same.

Author's Response: That's an excellent question, and it's one I've asked myself. There is an answer in the MoO universe, but it won't be revealed for a while.
Thanks for reading.



Reviewer: Artistand Signed Date: 2008.07.21 - 05:52PM Title: To Sleep

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No Review



Reviewer: ginevrafan Signed Date: 2008.03.11 - 05:35AM Title: To Sleep

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The incident with Ginny's knee getting caught in the sheets was a great example of showing the practical aspects of some of their "powers". I think that gives more reality to their situation. They're young, these "powers" are incredibly new, and there should be stumbling blocks along the way. That repeats later with Harry in a standing position over the couch: "A moment later, air rushed by Harry’s ears, and he fell to the floor of the common room". I really do like how they don't think of everything at first. Harry falling down was funny as well because it seemed like a realistic mistake.

The passage where Ginny's knee gets caught in the sheets is also especially well done from an emotional perspective. I think you really capture her fear and confusion, then relief, and finally the comfort that Harry provides to her.

I really liked the comfort scene with Harry. It shows that Ginny doesn't come up with all of the ideas. It's one of the first examples that shows him being more dominant and perceptive as well in figuring out how to deal with the situation. Past chapters painted a somewhat tag-along Harry, but this chapter changes that. The interaction with Dumbledore and Prof. McGonagall at the end really showed Harry's increased presence (and perception). (At least I'm thinking that it's increased.)

This chapter starts to indicates a detachment between Harry/Ginny and others. I guess I saw it a bit in past chapters, but now it seems like they are drawing toward one another. I also didn't expect Harry to stand up to Dumbledore.

Questions: Why isn't Ginny more irrational after Percy found her sleeping on the sofa with Harry? She seems to reason on a really high level and knows exactly how to appease Percy. I suppose that follows from her being perceptive - but that is pretty impressive.
Harry and Ginny seem to love being together during the day. At night however, it seemed like Harry initially tried to be as far apart from her as possible - choosing a different couch, then choosing to sit on the floor instead of next to her. Why is he apprehensive?
Ginny Shifts twice (sorting and to Harry's room) without them thinking about a specific location (more an idea of wanting to be close than a specific location). Is that due to accidental magic?
Why can't they Shift at the same time?
From the comments it seems as if you have a reason the Marauders gave McGonagall the map their last day - and then you say "why did they do it?" Were you referring to a) why did they give her a map? or b) why did they wait to the last day to give her a map? Is it because they themselves might've been doing something inappropriate (Or James and Lily) or because they didn't want McGonagall to catch them monthly as they went (as Animagus) to be with Remus?

Some of my favorite lines: You should be more studious, like me. I read the table of contents.
Harry thought the air itself sighed in relief as Ginny appeared safely.
The gorillas weren’t really pink, though. Pity.

Author's Response: I'm finally catching up again. Here we go...
One of the dominant themes of my story, at least from my PoV, is that every 'benefit' has a downside. Even Shifting is not as good as conventional travel in some ways (as was demonstrated later).
The roles Harry and Ginny play to the outside world are another key point. They will change over time, of course, and hopefully you will find that change meaningful.
Answers, in order:
Ginny is very perceptive, and she has plenty of experience with all of her brothers. Defusing Percy is easy, even without a lot of extra perception.
I did not intend the 'sleeping' sequence as you seem to have read it. Harry was not seeking to get away from her - he was seeking places for them each to sleep comfortably, and that led him to choose two couches. When he sat on the floor, he wasn't escaping her either - he was just picking a place to sit as anyone normally would, and the floor appealed for whatever reason. He was right next to her, you'll notice.
Err . . . yes and no.
Why they can't shift at the same time is a very deep, complicated question. Hopefully, by the end of the series, you'll be able to answer that one.
I was sortof thinking of both of those things. And you're asking the right detailed questions. More on that in future stories.
I admit that I really enjoyed the pink gorillas, too. I don't know where it came from, but it amused me.
Thanks again for reviewing thoughtfully.



Reviewer: Vermouth Signed Date: 2007.11.10 - 06:51PM Title: To Sleep

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Excellent. Well I guess the solution to Dumblydorr's headache is that since they are one entity divided in two, they should be able to reach the other no matter how far they are. One things, though. Is it one divided in two, or two united as one?

Author's Response: Isn't that a fun question? There's a real philosophical and functional difference, there. What's the title of this fic again?



Reviewer: DebbieO Signed Date: 2007.08.12 - 09:51PM Title: To Sleep

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This story has intimidated me a bit, but I finally decided to give it a chance. I'm glad I did. I found the prologue difficult, but an interesting echo of the gospel of John. I may find it easier to follow now that I've read a bit more of the story--your notes warned me. You sealed the deal with me as a reader at the end of this chapter. Dumbledore's quip about an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object is a great line.

As different as this story is, Ginny and Harry are very in character. I like the originality and look forward to more fun. Thanks!

Author's Response: Some folks did find the prologue easier to handle after reading some or all of the story. That's fine with me. I'm glad you think Ginny and Harry are still in character. They have a long way to go, but they have to start in the right place. Thanks!



Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed Date: 2007.01.07 - 04:41PM Title: To Sleep

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Admittedly, I am coming into this very late. While my first instinct was to keep reading, I could not pass up the opportunity to compliment you on your writing style, and on the the wonderful language choices. I print off these stories and read them, which I know in itself is strange, but a necessary evil. I usually write my reviews on the printed text, and input them the next time I can get to my computer, which these days, seems to be less and less. If you want an explanation of that cryptic statement, send me a personal message, and I will explain further.

Today, I was able to ignore pain long enough to come write this to you. Starting this post, I was still laughing to the last line of Chapter 6; “What happens when an unstoppable force encounters an unmovable object?” This story has truly been a joy so far, and a wonderful escape. I know most writers write for themselves, or the reviews, or a combination of both. But, if it matters, you have truly touched me with this story, and made an unbearable situation better, just from posting the writing to be read. Thank you so very very much for this.

Katastrophe

Author's Response: It sounds like your situation is, shall we say, less than ideal. I'm sorry to hear that, and I'm glad that this story has given you some escape. I do write for myself, and I do love the reviews, but I always secretly hope that some readers will take away a bit more than just the plot. I'm thrilled to hear that I've achieved that, even a little bit.
From chapter 6, the best news I can possibly give you is that there is lots more to come!



Reviewer: lolamadrid Signed Date: 2006.12.16 - 09:30AM Title: To Sleep

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I really love what you're doing with this story. A lot of AUs can get so boring because of the rehashing of events and usually i'm just waiting for the moment where harry and ginny come together romantically, but you've done such interesting things with their combined powers that i'm really into each chapter. love the unstappable force line, very funny. Also really, reallly have enjoyed the orb stuff. Vector's explanations were great. was the first memory of an earlier test albus did on harry?

I've just started this and notice that you're still in book 1. i hope this is a continuing series. it really is wonderful. thanks!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. There's plenty more to do without too much rehashing.



Reviewer: Darkeagle856 Signed Date: 2006.11.12 - 09:55PM Title: To Sleep

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unstoppable force mets an immovable object happens when chuck norris roundhouse kicks himself in the face.

Author's Response: Something like that, yes.



Reviewer: LadyLatina Signed Date: 2006.11.08 - 09:30PM Title: To Sleep

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Okay...so the school didn't "call" Ginny. This just keeps getting more and more interesting. I'm so hooked!

Author's Response: Great!



Reviewer: Quizer Signed Date: 2006.09.25 - 06:20AM Title: To Sleep

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McGonagall's canvas is a very neat idea. I've seen Marauder's Map variations in stories before, but never with McGonagall in charge of it. Is 'Mischief Monitored' the command to turn it on, or is it to turn it off and the other command goes like, 'I solemnly swear they're up to no good'? ;)

Quizer

Author's Response: I suspect that they kept it simple. They wouldn't want their fun ruined by complexity.



Reviewer: dalf Anonymous Date: 2006.09.12 - 02:15AM Title: To Sleep

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*grin* what a delightfully silly and fun chapter. I'm not sure that McGonagall would know the "Prongs" nickname but even if she did not knwo wha it means I suppose the boys probbly used it all the time so that makes sense. I was expecting them to mention Ginnys getting splinced into the blanket but I guess that is not super important and they woudl probbly not want to make the adults worry about them moving about like that.

Author's Response: McGonagall is a smart lady, isn't she?



Reviewer: Rocky235 Signed Date: 2006.08.30 - 11:30PM Title: To Sleep

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"Once they’re listening to your side of the story, you have a chance to survive the lecture."

You have a lot of insights that seem to be right on target.

I like your powerful duo.

Author's Response: With a short lifetime's experience in watching lectures and even receiving a few, I suspect Ginny has picked up a few solid insights.



Reviewer: moshpit Signed Date: 2006.08.29 - 12:27AM Title: To Sleep

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Fortune may indeed favor the bold, or perhaps the one, but it leaps to conclusions that one may not favor fortune. The embodiment of fractional displacement is curious, given that moving the decimal is easy, so long as you know exactly the number of moves made such that it can be returned to the proper location. A shift in magnitude with fractions can have quite the effect, can it not?

The standard Weasley obsession with all things pink carries over to dreams, rather amusing. It remains to be seen how long until some part of one determines how to recreate pink gorillas over, say, bananas at breakfast. One would find that quite amusing, while perhaps another one may find it less so.

Author's Response: Heh. "Harry SMASH!"
It's funny how we become obsessed with the things we hate, isn't it?



Reviewer: Chreechree Signed Date: 2006.08.03 - 04:33AM Title: To Sleep

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That last line was utterly priceless! I’m still chuckling. So they have their own variety of apparition but one doable within Hogwarts. That could be useful - but only one at a time – that could be dangerous if they both need to flee at some point. Mischief monitored. Ha! I assume Lily was the fifth student? Clearly James wasn’t thinking ahead to his offspring (or spiritual protégés like Fred and George) if he was going to pigeonhole him like that. Also, how would McGonagall know “Prongs”? Potentially problematic when Padfoot appears in third year. I’m surprised that Harry and Ginny didn’t allow Dumbledore and Pomfrey try to come up with a solution. There might be a way for them to sleep apart. I know. It’s your story and you can declare “no” quite simply if you want, but Harry and Ginny don’t know that. If it were me, I’d be happy to search for an alternative so I wouldn’t have to sneak around all the time. Of course, in a few years… Can’t wait to see how things go with Molly. I was going to go to sleep, but I think I must stay up to read on. Great work!
~ Christine

Author's Response: Yup, Lily was the fifth. I've always thought of her as the silent partner in the marauders, at least in their later years.
McGonagall's a smart lady, isn't she?
The way I see it, Ginny doesn't mind sneaking. She's been doing it all her life, and their transportation method makes it much simpler. They'd rather sleep comfortably, and they don't yet understand other reasons why perhaps they shouldn't share a bed.




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