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Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2020.04.08 - 06:18AM Title: Firsts
Ah albus your meddling with things you cant understand and. Should leave alone...kutgw
Reviewer: sunnyseaforever Signed Date: 2012.05.18 - 12:07PM Title: Firsts
The AMP was a fascinating concept. A scale that determines one's magical power. Professor Vector was so like Hermione, very passionate about academic interests.
The end of Harry and Ginny's day were awful though, being plagued with a single nightmare over and over again.
Reviewer: chipmyster1992 Signed Date: 2011.12.15 - 09:50PM Title: Firsts
and we're now back to the kick-ass super-power H/G! lol
Reviewer: brigrove Signed Date: 2009.12.17 - 06:13PM Title: Firsts
I am curious as to why Dumbledore didn't take the opportunity to do the test on Harry as well. Having a memory of Voldemort's AMP, and knowing the prophecy, surely he'd be dying to know the AMP of the Boy-With-Too-Many-Hyphens
Auth or's Response: ... and thanks for reviewing.
Reviewer: brigrove Signed Date: 2009.12.17 - 06:13PM Title: Firsts
I am curious as to why Dumbledore didn't take the opportunity to do the test on Harry as well. Having a memory of Voldemort's AMP, and knowing the prophecy, surely he'd be dying to know the AMP of the Boy-With-Too-Many-Hyphens
Auth or's Response: Interesting question, that. Perhaps he was simply too startled to think about it. Perhaps he thought it best that Arthur and Molly not see the result, whatever it might be. Perhaps he already knew what Harry's sphere looked like. He's a deep man, is Dumbledore.
Reviewer: Monty Signed Date: 2009.02.23 - 09:07AM Title: Firsts
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away I read a creatively exciting story through a late late night... Its been great to finally get a chance to carry on reading :)
Firstly after (/re)reading up to here I love the endings of the chapters, from an orinary miracle at the beginning to seeing Hogwarts for the first time and Dumbledore's shock just now, they're compelling endings drawing me on to read more, but really nice conclusions too.
In the first couple of chapters, as I said ages ago, it's really interesting direction you've taken the characters - Harry's built up so many Freudian defence mechanisms he comes across as being almost autistic, and I like the way Ginny (despite maybe being thrust through these barriers somewhat!) is able to guide Harry through bringing some of them down.
In chapter 3 I really enjoyed H&G's unwitting deception of the twins, its rare to get one up on them and very satisfying when it happens! The sorting hat sequence last chapter was original and exciting, although I'm surprised more was not made of it by the other teachers at the feast. Its great that H&G are being recognised as a completely new situation and something different to any 'normal' student - even if it was by a songwriting hat.
This chapter was well done, some writers crowbar in an awkward new mechanic to fit their story, but the "AMP" is plot-enhancingly interesting but realistically plausible.
One thing I noticed - chapter two there's a bit of confusion with Ginny's age by Molly; she says before her 9th birthday then refers to her as 9 yeas old. Did she mean 10th birthday?
Now I've finally had time to carry on a couple of chapters I'm still really enjoying it and looking forward to the rest.
Monty
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I did think a bit before inventing the AMP mechanic, and it wasn't just for this one scene.
The "ninth birthday" and nine-year-old thing was a creative turn of phrase on my part, but I agree with you that it's not as clear as I wanted it to be. I've edited it to be clearer, as Ginny was in fact 8 (or almost 9, but not quite) at the time.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to your thoughts on the rest.
Reviewer: ginevrafan Signed Date: 2008.03.11 - 04:59AM Title: Firsts
This chapter seemed different than the last couple. It shows more of what the characters are like then going through any major events. Professor Vector's section was extraordinarily well done.
Hermione's excitement at meeting someone who knew about spells and magic was well done. She must've been saving up for that conversation for two months and was so excited that she found someone (Ginny) to talk to. "Gifted" students sometimes have trouble relating to others - I wonder if that was her first experience with someone her own age (younger even) she thought she could relate to.
MoO Arthur: I really like Ginny's description of how Arthur deals with anger. In canon it seemed like Arthur really wasn't all that intelligent, but in MoO it seems as if Arthur reserves his focus for bigger, more important issues. What I like about your writing is that it gives more breadth to characters that we only know a little about from canon.
MoO Ginny: She's very consistent as are all of your characters. Much of the interaction she's involved in reinforces the fact that she's perceptive. This is apparent when she determines that Harry's body is asleep. I especially like this passage when she figured out another problem: My wand! Ginny exclaimed. The wand chooses the wizard, right? Mine is second-hand, and yours chose you. This old wand must not like me.
Harry's reaction I think makes sense here and really appropriate for his age: I’m not showering until you’re awake, he stated firmly. You can shower at the same time, if you want, so we only have to deal with it once. I'm guessing it will change in the future.
MoO Ron: No, I don’t mind. I should probably be nicer to him after teasing him on the train yesterday. Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s already forgotten about it. Without describing Ron directly, I think this statement does a good job of giving insights to who Ron is. It seems different from canon - in canon most activities are described from Ron and Harry's point of view where Ginny is an afterthought. In MoO Ron isn't forgotten, but he's described from Harry and Ginny's point of view.
MoO Professor Vector: Wow! I love this character. In canon, there is really very little ever mentioned about Arithmancy. This section really shows how creative you are. When this chapter first came out, I read this section around 10 times. Anyway, Professor Vector seems so much like Hermione in the books. "Without pausing for breath, Professor Vector stood and began..." She seems very academic - I guess this section brings another dimension to the MoO world - an academic aspect to the schooling in the magic world. In canon, it seems as if this is missing.
I really like the interaction between Dumbledore and Vector when talking about Ginny's sphere when she was younger (No sphere is ever moot). I'll assume that this answers my questions as to whether Ginny's sphere being one color and Harry and Ginny's combined sphere moving is important and I'll then ask why and you probably won't answer until book 6:
Why was Ginny's sphere only one color at first?
Why does Harry and Ginny's combined sphere move?
Is there a meaning to the color of the spheres or is it just random?
Wow, one of the best passages of the story so far is when Professor Vector sees the level 10 sphere. Truly fantastic. I'm also guessing Professor Vector has a Spanish origin.
I was reading through the comments of this chapter and found this... I have every intention of seeing this through to the end. I hope to get all 7 stories published before canon 7 is released. I guess that didn't work out. Well, I hope you don't change anything just to finish because I really enjoy the detail of MoO.
A few paragraphs seemed as if they didn't yield a whole lot of insight into the characters or the MoO world and were included to "complete" the description of the day - the herbology paragraph about Neville being good about Herbology and the paragraph with Quirrell and protective items. I suppose you have to pick and choose which events to focus on.
Questions: What were the treasures from Ginny's room at the Burrow that her Mom sent in her trunk? (I suppose since they're unnamed they probably won't be making another appearance)
In this passage, why did Professor Vector hesitate after she had said verify? I really like the sentence, but I'm not clear on its meaning: This might help me to verify . . . I mean to test several of my . . . well, my . . . recent hypotheses.” Is it because - like Hermione - she might not want to show her true "brilliance"?
"Dumbledore had lost count of the number of times he had been surprised in the last twenty-four hours, but he thought that this might be the greatest shock of them all." Is he beginning to realize the depths to which they are connected? It seemed as if he didn't "get it" last chapter.
But contrary to Dumbledore's realization, there's this passage (below), which makes it seem to me like they are deliberately trying to separate. Again, its so different from that first paragraph that described the moment they touched. I wonder when (and if) they will ever start gravitating toward that again.
Going up or down stairs at the same time is still hard. I keep feeling like I'm losing my balance, Ginny said as she entered the room.
Yeah, but it's already a little easier than it was yesterday, he replied.
Thank goodness.
I do not understand why Harry and Ginny can't be apart at night. At first I thought it was something to do with Voldemort since he appeared in Harry's nightmare. But now I don't think that explains it, so I'm thinking it has something to do with the essence of the magic in MoO and what it means to be bonded.
Why didn't Dumbledore test Harry's magic? It seems as if he tested Ginny and Tom Riddle (so it was a regular occurrence in the magical world?)
Would Harry's individual sphere be the same as Ginny's? It wasn't mentioned but I'm assuming it is.
Ginny seems very intelligent from some passages - similar to the level of Hermione. It seems as if Ginny gained in power while Harry didn't gain much in perception from the merge. Ginny still seems to be leading him on so many things. Why is there an imbalance?
Brilliant lines: Here in your head, or here at Hogwarts? she thought wryly.
The entire section on Vector was fabulous. It was creative, vivid, and insightful, and contained a lot of great passages that just made me want to keep rereading it. Thanks again for sharing your story.
Author's Response: I'm fairly sure that Ginny was the first magical person Hermione encountered whom she felt like she could really talk to. The train ride would have been a bit too tense, I suspect, for her to really strike up conversations.
Arthur's fun. He does come across as a buffoon in canon sometimes, but later I think he shows that there's more to him. I've just given him reason to show his serious side sooner than he did in canon.
You're right that Ron has a very different role than in canon... he has to. He's still the hero's best friend, in many ways, but he's also the hero's brother.
Without spoiling anything, suffice to say that Arithmancy is more important in MoO than in canon. And, yes, Septima is from Spain.
Wow. I'd forgotten that I once wanted to write the whole series before DH. That didn't work out at all. I do still intend to write the whole series, and I can't really imagine changing the level of detail.
Answer1: Nothing too significant. Snuggles was in there, along with a few small trinkets. Some of those show up in MoO2 as details.
Answer2: Vector is a true academic, which means she's a bit jealous of her own research. She is very careful about how she talks about her work, and 'verify' and 'test' have rather different meanings in that context.
You're skimming around the idea of H/G's samenesses and differences. There's a pattern to them, but I don't want to explain it just yet. Your 'imbalance' question is part of that, too.
Harry's sphere comes up later.
On to the next!
Reviewer: Vermouth Signed Date: 2007.11.10 - 06:26PM Title: Firsts
Excellent, as usual.
Author's Response: Thanks.
Reviewer: cantante Signed Date: 2007.08.07 - 10:45PM Title: Firsts
this is by far the coolest, most unique story i have read in the time that i have been reading fanfiction. i'm glad i found it, and that you wrote it so it could be found! lol that was a weird sentence on my part. fantabulous story. yes that is definitly a word. =D
Author's Response: I'm glad I could entertain you, then. Thanks!
Reviewer: LadyLatina Signed Date: 2006.11.08 - 09:11PM Title: Firsts
Dumbledore shocked...cool!
Author's Response: Everyone has their moments.
Reviewer: dalf Anonymous Date: 2006.09.12 - 01:45AM Title: Firsts
Wow, Im really impressed with this. Sorry I dont have any more to say but I gotta be heading on to the next chapter.
Author's Response: I'm responding to this review because I'm a little bit OCD and I would like to say that I responded to every review I received. I apologize if you are bothered by an extra notification email. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Reviewer: Rocky235 Signed Date: 2006.08.30 - 11:08PM Title: Firsts
I liked the scene with Professor Vector. Oh &#%!, I like all your scenes.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading.
Reviewer: moshpit Signed Date: 2006.08.27 - 11:28AM Title: Firsts
The trunk is a trunk but magic can fix everything. Would the roughness of the trunk be a parallel for the roughness of life, the newness of one and a hint of things to come? And the latch an after-though, a half-hearted protection of the old one fraction from the new? After all, the trunk must change with time... as must the lock and key.
If Arthur burns angry energy in his shed while puttering about, the question remains as to whether his muggle contraptions fail to work due to his lack of knowledge, or because he's a little too worked up at the time and breaks them... thus providing a reason to take everything apart and "fix" it afterward... What starts out as angry and tense becomes self-fulfilling obsession of gadgetry... One wonders at it all.
The seventh professor lecutirng Albus? One shudders at the implications. There is one that must be patient in the presence of youth and exuberance.
Surely my AMP must go to 11, and the numbers are in no way painted. Not at all. See, it says 11, not 10. I've got that extra little bit when everyone else is stuck at 10. Right?
And the profoundness of trhe moment is one of complexity in dreaming. For in a dream, is reality truly real, or is it a haunting echo of subconscious parody? When cohabitation occurs due to the disharmony of one being in one state, are the full memories of the fractions available to the whole? Or is the link of sweet unity hampered by the sloth of the flesh? The absence of fleshly contact might preclude a fraction from retaining the skills of the whole one. After all, riddles of anger or extreme perceptiveness without the counter to balance might corrupt the fraction into fractionally dark but riddled ways...
And two nits: the "EMP of 8" should probably be an "AMP of 8" unless the magical core is nuclear in power. In that case, run! And while it may be possible to be "thrown 'of' balance" it's far more likely to be a bit 'off' in the long run.
Author's Response: Nits? I see no nits. Not anymore, anyway.
I one-der one-der one-der who-o-o (who)? Who wrote the book of one? (Wait, I did. Right.)
All depends on what memory is, doesn't it? Is it the 3-D Imax of the Mind, or something else? I knew the answer, once, but I forgot it.
Reviewer: Chreechree Signed Date: 2006.08.03 - 04:00AM Title: Firsts
First, I meant to comment last chapter about their eating difficulties. Again, you seem to really be examining the practical issues of sharing such a bond. How odd that they will forever be eating in unison, or will they figure out a way around it? Now, aren’t you clever? So many “bonded” stories have H/G “unavailable” to each other when one is awake and the other is sleeping. They might share dreams and be able to wake each other, but that was interesting that their minds are both awake if either’s body is. Cool concept, and of course touching helps. Over and over you’ve already showed how their touching seems to complete the circuit, if you will. Magnitude 10, eh? Frankly, Dumbledore should be relieved as he should feel confident that a trained up Harry will have the power to defeat Voldemort. The spheres really are cool. At some point are you going to tell us what the colors mean because surely they aren’t truly random otherwise you wouldn’t have made a point about Ginny’s being monochromatic. Let me also compliment you on Vector. I enjoyed her analysis and manner quite a bit. Similarly, I enjoyed Hermione being her early first year overly eager and somewhat manic self. At least Ginny likes her. Ginny’s pitiful trunk made me sad. It’s tough being broke. Excellent job, Dave. See you next chapter.
~ Christine
Author's Response: Their always being 'available' to each other has loads of implications. Beyond that, I'm whistling dixie.
Reviewer: hpf2114 Signed Date: 2006.07.27 - 08:26PM Title: Firsts
Again EXCELLENT!! Great read.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading.
Reviewer: sideline Signed Date: 2006.07.26 - 12:10PM Title: Firsts
You’re characterization of the academically inclined math nerd was bang on. I’ve had more conversations than I can count with a fellow with a mind for numbers I could only dream of. It’s eerie how closely that scene mirrored them.
I really don’t know what I think of the pace. I can’t point to any scene and say it should have been cut or expanded on, but it’s as if I was just getting back into the story and then the chapter was over.
The more I read the more I like your Harry. He’s still got enough innocence to be a believable 11 year old and at the same time his thoughts have a certain edge to them. I don’t see him taking any BS down the line.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Pacing is always an issue, I think. If you pin anything down as bothersome, let me know.
Thanks for reading.
Reviewer: Maijril Signed Date: 2006.07.25 - 08:49PM Title: Firsts
I don't usually review on any fanfiction site, but when I read this story I couldn't help myself. I loved the prologue, particularly that line about Thinker making a very attractive marble. I also adored pre-harry Ginny's way of thinking, and liked the fact that you could tell by reading that Harry was incomplete. I've truly ejoyed this story so far, and hope that it or sequels never get abandoned.
Author's Response: I have every intention of seeing this through to the end. I hope to get all 7 stories published before canon 7 is released, but that may not be possible. We'll just have to see.
Thanks for reading.
Reviewer: Treecat Signed Date: 2006.07.25 - 03:07AM Title: Firsts
Hey, it's good, no britpicking errors or anything!
Treecat
Author's Response: Don't get used to it . . . I'm sure I'll mess up sooner or later.
Thanks for picking and reading.
Reviewer: colpinky Signed Date: 2006.07.24 - 08:07PM Title: Firsts
Again, very good work. I greatly appreciate your style of writing. I enjoy bonding stories, but I like to find originality in them. I am waiting to see where you take this. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: I like taking known elements and re-thinking them, which is probably why I'm in an AU to begin with. I know that elements of my story have been used before, but I think I'm combining them and adding to them in a new way. I'm glad to see that others agree so far.
Thanks for reading.
