Reviewer: txreina Signed Date: 2006.05.17 - 09:29PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
Oh my god that was awesome.
Reviewer: Jim McGuffin Signed Date: 2005.01.19 - 10:57PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
Hmmm, for some reason I read this fic from Ginny's perspective about 4 1/2 months ago, but I neglected to read this one. I like this one better. Here we see what Harry was really thinking during the whole ordeal, rather than just tongue descriptions. Of course, that same error with the Quidditch match being on Hogsmeade weekend is still there -- that's one error that Disassembly of Reason above didn't catch! Overall, it's a good fic, and keep up the good work! I'll read the rest of your fics if I have time.
Reviewer: halliepotty Anonymous Date: 2004.08.27 - 12:26AM Title: Why I Kissed Her
I immensely enjoyed this, and decided to review, since I reviewed it's companion. This is very cute, I can tell that it is well thought out, too. Do I hear more chapters? I believe I do. Happy writing!
Reviewer: Disassembly of Reason Anonymous Date: 2003.12.01 - 11:47PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
I'm very fond of this series. By preference I review stories on fanfiction.net when they're posted on multiple sites, hence the delay in my getting around to reviewing these particular stories.
"Why I Kissed Her", of course, covers the same events as "Why Did He Kiss Me?" but from Harry's POV. I particularly like stories or groups of stories that present the same events from multiple perspectives like this, so that we can see what was *really* going on in a character's mind, but also see how other characters interpreted (and more interestingly, misinterpreted or completely overlooked) their reactions.
[WARNING: This is an actual review, not just a vote that I enjoyed the story; I'm going to discuss what I see as areas that could use work, not just what I liked about it.]
The author uses Harry's POV properly, I'm glad to see; the way thoughts are expressed indicate what he's concentrating on and how he's perceiving the world, as we see right away when he catches himself thinking of Ginny Weasley as pretty, and immediately tries to backpedal. :)
Good attention to continuity, that (as in _Prisoner of Azkaban_), increased security measures involve cracking down on Quidditch practices. However, it's likely that this would mean that Hooch would be supervising, and possibly escorting the last players to leave the pitch, which would've been impossible in getting this scene to work, of course. So the increased security is only noticeable, not really stringent.
The extended flashback sequence at the beginning of the story (Harry's memory of his earlier conversation with Ron) is currently in past tense and normal font, as though it were happening in the story's "present", which is confusing.
The pedantic way of handling that problem, which would work fine if the passage were shorter, would be to revise the verb tenses to past perfect to indicate that it was in the past relative to the story's action. Note that I said, 'the pedantic way'; in practice, that gets very tiresome for longer passages. The *easy* way, as opposed to the pedantic way, is to make sure that passage is in past tense like the rest of the story, but italicized to cue the reader that it's not happening in present time.
Note that I stress that for 'the easy way', make sure use past tense consistently. One of my many pet peeves is the all-too-common copyediting error of beginning a long flashback in past perfect, then slumping into past tense while still within the flashback; messy, in helping the reader follow the flow of the action.
Given what we know about the strongest points of Harry's friendship with Ron from their fight before the First Task - that Harry particularly values Ron's ability to make him laugh - very plausible that Ginny's lightheartedness would attract him. (Particularly after Cho.)
I like either story of the two companion pieces just fine by itself, but they're even better when read side by side. Poor Harry is struggling even to talk here, but Ginny isn't picking up on that so much as on his body language. He, for his part, is more conscious of her facial expressions than she herself is.
"Harry wondered if Hermione had acted as crazy as Ron had about it, deciding if it had been even a third as bad, it would've been funny." (Note use of tenses again.) And, as we see from Ginny's POV, it was indeed priceless. :)
Poor Harry, crushed at the idea of Ginny going out with Neville, while Ginny thinks he's only embarrassed at the idea of intruding. For her part, she's embarrassed at rattling on from nervousness at talking to Harry, while Harry probably thinks she's reacting to his false impression that she's dating Neville. (Good that they got *that* straightened out quickly and realistically instead of wasting lots of angst on it.)
Hermione is acting as a true friend here, diverting Ron into a tirade about Snape instead of sitting back and watching him make Harry squirm. :) On the other hand, Ginny's POV indicates that Hermione as well as Ron was smirking over the 'double date' chain-yanking scene, although Harry doesn't seem to have noticed *that* little detail while being harassed by Ron.
Not surprising, given his rather skimpy previous experience, that Harry's now found something new to worry about: what the etiquette is for dating. (Also a telling point, that he's concerned about these details after asking Ginny out, when he didn't think about them at all before his date with Cho.)
- Mostly the spelling is OK, but "Quidditch" is a glaring exception, particularly given the setting of this particular story. Other spelling errors affect the words "briefly", "Colin".
- I recommend italics for Harry's thoughts when using first person, such as '_I'll bet_, he thought.'
Reviewer: BaileyMac Signed Date: 2003.11.08 - 08:45AM Title: Why I Kissed Her
This one was much funnier than the companion...boys can be so stupid! :) Great work - you should do a sequel!
Reviewer: Arnel Anonymous Date: 2003.09.26 - 04:35AM Title: Why I Kissed Her
I liked this one better than its companion...there was more to it. Nice story. Is there more coming? Hope so.
Reviewer: LaArpista Signed Date: 2003.09.11 - 02:48PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
Aw, cuteness! =D Those were so adorable! I'm going to go read the next one now...oh, I'm so excited, lol.
Reviewer: Morgan( aka Ginny) Anonymous Date: 2003.08.29 - 10:36PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
Please write more!!! I want to know what happens at Hogsmeade. Please continue soon!!!!!
Reviewer: argentinian fleur Anonymous Date: 2003.08.21 - 07:21PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
please please!!! more chapters!! or a sequel!! I really really liked the story (the 2 parts!!) more pleaseee!!!
Reviewer: Green Fairy Anonymous Date: 2003.08.17 - 10:12AM Title: Why I Kissed Her
please please please PLEASE write more soon!!!
Reviewer: Stefi Anonymous Date: 2003.08.16 - 03:19PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
loved it! it was sooo cutee!! =} please, update soon! i cant wait to read about hogsmeade!
Reviewer: BasilM Anonymous Date: 2003.08.16 - 01:28PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
That was so cute! nice and fluffy! I loved the inner conflict, and *snickers* I wondered why Harry broke away so suddenly :)
Reviewer: Rose Anonymous Date: 2003.08.16 - 12:23PM Title: Why I Kissed Her
Lovely piece of fluff! I enjoyed reading both of them. I think that they go well together. You did a good job with them.
Reviewer: Potteranne Anonymous Date: 2003.08.16 - 01:42AM Title: Why I Kissed Her
Just as its prequel....excellent. More fluff, more fluff. How I love your 2 little stories. Ginny and Harry's POV were great. Keep writing!