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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.02.04 - 04:12PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Really enjoyed the scene between Harry and Arthur! Ginny is certainly full of surprises as well. Poor Harry having to deal with a blast ended skrewt!
Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.08.22 - 05:54AM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Well do wish to know what the bad line was about witht the gnomes and loved the whole conversation with Mr. Weasley. Though I will say though one thing that makes me wonder is what exactly is going on with Ginny if I wouldn't know better would say that she was having others pump Harry for info about there chances together which is what I am hoping was happening.
Author's Response: You've left a whole chain of reviews. I'm going to lump them all together for one response . . .
Reviewer: Vermouth Signed Date: 2007.11.09 - 11:30AM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Outstanding work.
Author's Response: While it was broken over several reviews, I do appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
Reviewer: karalea Signed Date: 2007.02.14 - 08:39PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Loved the story so far, hope you update soon.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I had expected to update long before now, yet I've become caught in the Real Life complexities of my beta team. The end result is that I'm now in the process of replacing part of the team. Updates will resume soon, but in the meantime, thanks for your patience.
Reviewer: fake a smile Signed Date: 2007.02.09 - 03:35PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
I always, without fail, find myself intrigued after reading one of your chapters. Of course I'm wondering what's happening in the plot and what is going on with the characters, but I'm especially fascinated with the magical theory you include. It's refreshing to find a story with a well-developed system of how magic works. Most stories, including canon, leave everything undeveloped and unexplained. Then they can use the "it's magic" de facto excuse for anything they cannot or are too lazy to explain. Not only is it refreshing to read, it's also quite interesting to read the theory. That's a subject I actually wouldn't have minded studying for back in school.
The conversation with Arthur was brilliantly written. You captured Arthur's character perfectly. The way he encouraged Harry to continue on with his somewhat antagonistic ways was perfect, while at the same time he drew the line quite clearly for Harry. And his reminiscing was nicely played; Arthur does love his Mollywobbles.
I liked Harry's thoughts while working with Neville. It shows that he's becoming more comfortable in the social setting, even if only with a select few. He's still distant from people, but that's a necessity with all the plots he's caught up in. It's just good to see him actually making true friends and even recognizing it as such.
Ginny's little 'revenge' at the end was good for a chuckle. Although I almost fear for the Blast-Ended Skrewt. Harry's not the type to take things lying down, and if that things charging at him, he's likely to just eliminate the threat rather than trying to avoid it. He may fail CoMC, but at least he'll survive the encounter without the scorch marks.
A good chapter, and, amazingly, relatively action free. I'm looking forward to the next.
Author's Response: Now I'm thinking there's a bit of pot and kettle in that review. Last I checked, are't you the author with 100k chapters and a magical world of equal if not greater complexity? (And I need to get caught up on TC, too. Time, time, time...)
Your review is fun in an odd way. I broke the textbook excerpt because it was a bit on the dry side and rather long. You get the second half in the next chapter, which unfolds even more to think about. I suspect your views match mine on, say, David Eddings pulp.
I'm glad people picked up on the Arthur scene, and the McG scene somewhat. Those moments were interesting to write, as there are quite the collection of fine lines to walk along. Neville is one of the many characters short-changed in canon, albeit for obvious reasons. Giving him a bit more depth is fun, but hopefully the portrayal stays true to the fundamental character of Neville Longbottom. I think if Echoes-Harry were thrown into that situation, Neville would be the easiest person to befriend, and it would be entirely unconscious on both sides. That has some implications, doesn't it?
Your take on the Skrewt . . . very perceptive. Kill it and fail, or try to prove you can handle it and pass? Ahh, decisions, decisions. There exist, of course, other options.
I'm glad you're still enjoying the story. One of these days in my copious spare time, I'll actually get around to reviewing TC and a couple of others. I know how hard it is to do when involved as an author in something else, so thanks for taking the time.
Reviewer: GinnyMarie Signed Date: 2007.02.07 - 07:36PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
*growls at the something unawares part*
and what misspellings did i do? eh? eh? c'mon, you can tell me...its going to bother me otherwise...please? were they in the song or what?
grrr...
~Ginny M~
Author's Response: Now that would be telling, and what's the fun in that? Look! Superman! Whistling innocently...
Reviewer: dakkon13 Signed Date: 2007.02.06 - 11:28PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Your story is incredible. As to the complaint that the chapters are too long, I say write, write and write some more.The details are were the true beauty of a story lies. I have to ask, have you actually written out "The Theory of Magic"? The portion at the beginning of this chapter was so interesting, I would like to read more. I was logical and well beyond canon without stepping on it or disagreeing with it. You have a great talent for that. You can see it in your characterizations. Tonks is almost never done well and Author is usually just a throughn away character, but yours, just like your theory, stay well within the lines of canon while still expanding them beyond. Please write as much as you need to in order to tell your story.
ben
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story. The "Theory of Magic" hasn't been written in prose format per se, but I do have a file that I wrote before I wrote the story about it. I tried to take what we know from canon (I ignore movies and games and such), devise a believable means for it to work, and how a human might be able to actually manipulate such, and then went from there. Working out rules that didn't violate each other was fun. My "notes" on the topic are longer than many fics out there. You'll get more snippets as the story moves on, from all the volumes and sections. The next chapter, actually, contains the second half of the one from this chapter -- it was just too long to make people read in one go. Textbooks aren't exciting to very many people. Anyway, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Reviewer: GinnyMarie Signed Date: 2007.02.05 - 08:41PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
first of all...sorry for once again asking about the length...i probably saw that throwing of chapter estimation out the window thing, but my mind likes to be mush half the time due to school...
:D
and i take it we are in for a bumpy....neigh...wavy ride yes?
and i just hate cho on principle...shes a winey (how the hell do you spell that word?) little bitch...my personal opinion...:D
i look forward to reading more and soon, i hope...
and i understand what you mean about plot points turning into long winded chapters...ive done it, i am guilty...
*do not sing Jeep...do not sing Jeep...damnit...*
Oh, one night one morn when i was born
and the whistle went toot toot (toot toot)
You could buy a cake or fry a snake
when the mud pies are in bloom
Does six and six make nine?
Does ice grow on a vine?
Is Old Black Joe, an eskimo,
in the good ol' summer time?
Oh, loopdy loop in my noodle soup
just give those socks a shine
I'm guilty judge,
I ate the fudge
Three cheers for Old Lank Stine
I cannot tell a lie,
I hogged an apple pie
Its on a tree
Beneath the sea
Above the bright blue sky
Oh, if easter eggs dont wash their legs,
Their children will have ducks (quack quack)
Id rather buy a lemon pie
for fourty seven bucks
Way down in Barcelonia
They jumped into the phonia
But that is all balogna
Patarozki blow your horn (toot toot)
sorry for that...its just an old Oklahoma Girl scout song...heh...the Im guilty part reminded me of it and i had to write it...sorry...heh....but it is entertaining, no? and its best if you say it really really fast...:D youre supposed to sing it as fast as you can...HEY...its in stanzas...heh...didnt know that till i typed it...lol
enjoy...:D
update soon, por favor...:D
~Ginny M~
Author's Response: I can't decide if the random spelling issue in that is deliberate or not, but alternate words of similar spelling give it a whole new meaning. Hmmm. Methinks you need more sleep. In the meantime, keep on your toes. I'd hate for something to catch you unawares in that shallow water.
Reviewer: GinnyMarie Signed Date: 2007.02.04 - 12:09AM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
okay...just one question...
How many chapters do you have planned?
as of this point, you have twenty one chapters, and am only on the eleventh of september, at around eleven o'clock...im just curious...
this chapter didnt have any action...not really...it seems...weird...lol
i liked the chat with mr weasley...and am slightly curious as to the phrase that promted his visit...
and i still wish to know the title of the book that would have Neville cower in fear...
i love Harry's grasp of the law....nothing...well...not nothing, but very little on normal days, gets past him when it comes to the laws...
and when and if Umbridge does become the Hogwarts High Inquisitor, harry will more than likely find ways around all of her reforms...:D should be entertaining and enlightening...
and dont you love all of the ellipses i use?
:D
i do like how you have Harry comfortable with Neville, as he is my favourite character...i liked the talk they had...it was needed, i believe...
almost put a smiley again, but that would be overkilling it, i believe
the only real action in this chapter was when harry first woke up and attacked Madame Pomfrey....and the little chase with Umbridge...
that was amusing...the Umbridge/Harry interaction i mean...her looking all over the castle...that should be interesting...
and then the by-play - at least thats what i saw it as - with the Suits of Armour...entertaining indeed...
as much as i despise and detest Cho Chang, i must say i feel sorry for her...the mortification that she must have endured when that article came out...
my opinion of Cedric, and naturally of Rita, isnt very high at this moment.
and could we finally be seeing Ginny enter into the contest a bit more?
Mr. Weasley's amusement at the antics of his wife is...brilliant...
and that line about the good old times or something similar...is disturbing...
hmm...what else?
you woulnt know what else, now would you, as you arent in my mind, and if you were, i think i might be very frightened...
:D
anyway...i do so hope you update soon...i loved the chapter...as always...
and please give my regards to your beta team for having to put up with you...*smiles innocently*
~Ginny M~
Author's Response: Just one answer... I think I mentioned at some point that I chucked my chapter count estimate out the window. I have plot sketches for each chapter, but then some chapters seem to blow up into long, winding roads when actually written. One of my recent "chapters" had nearly 40 plot points. It became 4 (almost 5) "chapters" posted due to sheer length.
As many people ask about the length, I'd like to remind anyone reading these response things -- Harry going to Hogwarts was a calculated throw of a very large rock into a pond. It has repercussions, and those waves are rolling along, if tapering off. At the same time, there were already rocks in the pond, so there's some interference patterns running, making other waves. Things will settle down, and I'll skip over the boring times, as I have once or twice already. But things haven't settled in the new pattern, yet, and I enjoy the ride far more than the destination. Although, the destination of this set of waves... bwahahaha.
As for the rest... I think the chapter did have action, just not the kind that you knew to look for; the gnome prank will be revealed in time; as will be evident when ch22 goes up, there's a reason for that; spectacular is the best word to describe the Harry Umbridge dynamic; and what is up with that suit of armour?; cho isn't worthy of despite - she's done nothing wrong; cedric will be explained in due course; and of course Ginny won't take the gauntlet thrown from Harry quietly. After all, she's got friends like Norman.
Reviewer: CaffienAddict Signed Date: 2007.02.03 - 04:38PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
I must say that the depth of the theory behind all the magic in this story is rather staggering in it's complexity and ingenuity, the simple fact that you took the time to create your own model around which things would work speaks volumes about your abillity and dedication as an author; where most would be content to work with what information they can glean from canon, you've gone and turned everything on its end and thought out the intricate mechanics of the magical universe so that the theory reads like a text book and we are forced to take it as fact. Needless to say I am extremely inmressed with the level of thought and planning that has gone in to this, even more impressive is that you have managed to change almost everything we ever knew about Harry Potter and still keep it true to J K Rowling's work, add to the fact that the sheer scope of the story can make one's head spin and suck them in at the same time and you have a real flare for literary work, kudos!
the Caffien Addict
Author's Response: I have to ask... do you talk as you write? I'm deeply impressed that (a) you said all of that in two sentences, and (b) I think I actually tracked all of it on the first reading. I'm glad people appreciate not only the story, but the rules that make it all work. It's always bothered me to read a story that's terribly inconsistent in what magic can and can't do, or how the characters use it or perceive it. There are plenty of professional authors with the same syndrome (cough, Eddings, cough), but I just couldn't do that. This story is as much about pushing the codified rules of magic that conform to canon, as it is about the characters, the twists, and the underlying messages. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Reviewer: hjp74 Signed Date: 2007.02.03 - 01:40PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Great chapter.
once again you give us a liitle more insight into how your univers works with that lovly opening and the whol heat explenation was fasanating (of cousre you then come back to it in your usull style what withh it being kind of intergral to how the green house work).
i am not sure iam elequant eneugh to describe just how much i like your Arthur he relly is the strong one in that marvalous familly of his & the way he delt with harry was masterfull & i hope he croup up a bit more often in futer.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying not only the story, but the rules and laws that govern how everything work. You'll have lots of time to enjoy the characters... and I'm glad you're still enjoying the story.
Reviewer: witowsmp Signed Date: 2007.02.02 - 11:01PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Good chapter. That was mean to introduce Harry to the blast-ended skrewt like that. I can't wait to see Umbridge kicked out of Hogwarts! I loved how Harry handled her!
Author's Response: I'm glad you're still enjoying it. If you liked Umbridge Round 1 in this chapter, you should find the next one enjoyable as well.
Reviewer: MagicalHalo Anonymous Date: 2007.02.02 - 05:22PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Very amusing. Harry, the way you're showing him, seems like there are a lot more negatives about him than positives. So far you've shown that he is violent, indifferent, angry and very edgy. Other than that you've shown only a few minor moments where he shows anything else. The other characters you have yet to tell more about, like Ginny, why she behaves the way she does, you've only given vague details about her past.
Still a very good story.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I've never really pretended that Echoes-Harry doesn't have some deep issues. In some ways, he's incredible strong and resilient. In other ways, as you'll see in Ch22, he's a house of cards. I think, though, that I can't agree with your limited characterization of what you've seen of Harry. You've seen quite a bit more than that, but perhaps you haven't realized it yet as it's been rather subtle. And no, I'm not specifically speaking of any H/G thing here. As long as you find the story interesting, hopefully you'll keep reading. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. (And the back-story on the other characters will be revealed, in due course.)
Reviewer: Sssith Signed Date: 2007.02.02 - 03:04PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Very enjoyable as always. Curious as to when we will learn a little more of Ginny's back story.
I also enjoyed the exchange he had with both McGonagal and Mr. Weasley. It will be interesting to see if he is able to internalize what McGonagal was able to share with him.
Take care.
Author's Response: Ah, the back story that so many people are just positive must contain the answers to the universal questions. That's coming, and a good portion even happens during Part I. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and find those conversations worthwhile. Sometimes it's rather challenging to not make all the characters sound alike.
Reviewer: Sovran Signed Date: 2007.02.02 - 01:40PM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
For a change of pace, here's a 'real' review.
I said this once already, but it bears repeating in public. The way you characterized Arthur is masterful. By that, I do not mean the traits you have assigned to him, though I like those quite a lot, too. I mean the actual methods you used to inform the reader of those traits. "They did not go gentle into that good night" tells us so much more than just that Fabian and Gideon had a rough time of it.
In the same vein, it's obvious that many, many of Arthur's word choices were made very carefully, both by him and by you. It's interesting to see how those choices change from the version I get to the version that's posted. Interesting.
Author's Response: Shocking. Please don't expect the same in return until M25 posts. That said, you're being a bit glowing there with the words. I'm not sure if you just wore your rosy glasses today, or what. Those scenes gave me fits to work out, and I still think they need more, but that's probably as good as I can get it before I re-read prior to migration at PS. And no giving away the game on the wording. That's cheating, that is. One would be highly amused at it all.
Reviewer: Wolfric Signed Date: 2007.02.02 - 03:08AM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Another great effort. Thanks. W.
Author's Response: Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Reviewer: _kb_ Signed Date: 2007.02.02 - 02:40AM Title: Chapter 21: Twists . . .
Well now, that was interesting. Just what is Miss Weasley up to? :-) I loved the talk with Arthur, very nicely done, as was the conversation between Harry and Minerva. I can't wait to see Albus wake back up. That will be most interesting. KUTGW and all that jazz! :-)
Author's Response: Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Lil' Ginny does seem to be doing something, now doesn't she? Hmmm. The sleeper shall awaken. Have no fears on that ... one ... point. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
