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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.02.02 - 05:41AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Another interesting turn of events. It seems Harry still needs work on learning restraint. Hopefully, spending some time with Remus will help calm him and focus him.
Reviewer: Hawk29 Signed Date: 2013.03.26 - 07:52PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
No idea what the fallout of attacking Umbridge will be, but it was particularly satisfying. Despite all the crazy schizos employed by Voldemort in the series, she's definitely the most foul of all characters in Harry Potter canon. You should have made her hair fall out as well.
Reviewer: Fleek Signed Date: 2009.02.05 - 10:06PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
It appears that this chapter is cut short? Not sure how or why :(
If I remember right this chapter contains umbridges first confrontation with Harry.
However the last paragraph I am able to read is:
"Harry put his bag under the seat and dropped the paper he was carrying onto the table. It partially unfurled, revealing a bit of a headline that suddenly grabbed his attention. Straightening out the paper, Harry quickly read the top-fold story, ignoring the series of pictures next to it of the four students he had killed."
Am I the only one seeing this or is there a reason this is the way it is? Please correct me if I'm wrong!
Fleek
Author's Response: There's a known problem with Chapter 10. I just stuck a new preface A/N on it that tells you how to get around it. Or, you can just read the story at MetaFic (see my author page) to get around it, as well. SIYE has a technical problem with some of the chapters (several, actually), and they wind up truncated for some people at some times. Let me know if you still can't read it. Cheers.
Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.08.20 - 03:54AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Well it was a very short chapter really didn't tell us much other than news travels fast unless there is more to pick up in this chapter because looks like I missed it.
Author's Response: You've left a whole chain of reviews. I'm going to lump them all together for one response . . .
Reviewer: The Seeker Signed Date: 2007.05.24 - 06:25PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
I wasn't able to leave reviews for chs 2 through 9, so this is the first since ch 1. What a marvelous mystery you're weaving, wrapped up angst, martial arts, misunderstandings, possible romance, and a struggle for control on many levels. Absolutely wonderful plot construction as you leave hints throughout each chapter on all of these topics. I especially like how you are interspersing Harry's early years (Dursley and post-Dursley), giving us glimpses of his mentors and previous education, and moving the story along in "current" time at Hogwarts. Your ability to give us just enough info in each of these areas to move us along, but not enough to fully understand what's happening, is enviable . . . and frustrating.
In the more recent chapters, I've found it interesting that you've injected yet another variable -- Harry and his mentor's seeming naivete in the real world of wizarding (Rita and Dolores, H's actions toward Malfoy and Snape, even DD to a somewhat lesser extent). I have the feeling they've been operating, not so much in a vacuum, but behind the scenes, where they were buffered from reactions on the part of the general wizarding population. This gap contrasts nicely to Harry's intelligence, training, and magical powers. You've created a very complex young man here and placed him in a very complicated and not totally understood environment. Part of the fun, since this is an AU story, is seeing how our beloved -- and not so beloved -- characters act and react in this new universe you've created.
I have a feeling one of the themes you'll be exploring is how Harry learns to work with people, as he matures and moves from his lone wolf mentality. It has been an intriguing, exciting, very funny (at times), and startling experience so far, and I'm looking forward to reading the subsequent chapters.
-- Jim
Author's Response: I've moved all your comments (PM and here) into one long review.
Reviewer: m4rk6 Signed Date: 2007.05.03 - 12:37PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
You would think, with such intelligent trainers, pranksters and plotters, that they would understand the importance of PR. Wars have been won and lost with public relations. If it were just Harry acting alone, I wouldn't question it, but with Remus, Sirius and whoever else you have in there, all this seems a little dumb.
Author's Response: You'd think, except they are used to the two worlds being quite separate. Things that work in the Muggle world don't particularly work in the magical one. Who would do your PR? The Prophet? It's not a war... yet, at any rate. But I do agree in principle. There are reasons for why they weren't prepared for the backlash ... did you see them?
Reviewer: Wooster Signed Date: 2006.09.18 - 07:40PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Well, things are taking a turn for the angsty in Potterland aren't they?
Anyway, great story so far. Love your characterization. I especially loved your description of the thestrals as a cross between Stephen King's and Dr. Seuss' imaginations. When I stopped to think about it (which the sentence forced me to do) it was a perfect description. Awesome.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and leaving feedback...
Reviewer: Fleek Signed Date: 2006.08.26 - 04:44PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Wikipedia says you spelled baka wrong :(
In Japanese, the word ばか baka means "idiot", "moron", "fool" or "dimwit". It can also refer to the condition of being stupid. The word is widely used in conversation and, while derogatory, is not taboo. It is more commonly used in Tokyo and other parts of eastern Japan while in Osaka and elsewhere in western Japan, aho is the usual preferred equivalent.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and leaving feedback.
In regards to bakka vs baka, any attempt at transliteration of a foreign language that is not based on Latin alphabet is, at best, imprecise. Wikipedia is a good reference in general, but bear in mind it is less than authoritative for a host of very good reasons.
Having spent many years of my life training with and living with my instructors, some of whom were natives from Japan, trust me that "bakka" or "baka" or (transliteration of choice) is generically "empty headed fool" which is approximated by words such as "idiot" and the like. "Fool" or "dimwit" is a less precise translation as both simply indicate a slow-thinker, which is not an "empty headed" individual. The "fool" is added to express the direction of the "empty headed" nature. And again, as I said at the end of the chapter, it's an approximate translation.
And yes, it's rather derogatory.
A bit of time with Google can probably provide far more information on this than Wikipedia lists in its summary, if that's what you posted above.
Reviewer: Dragen Signed Date: 2006.08.25 - 07:39PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Great chapter, Harry isn't doing him any goo attacking Umbridge even though i would have done the same... he isn't helping him with Ginny either... keep up the ggod work.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. I'm lumping all feedback for you under your last review.
Reviewer: Treecat Signed Date: 2006.07.12 - 01:30PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
I claim the hundredth review for Treecatdom, this is a milestone in your career, keep updating!
Treecat
Author's Response: I'm certain treecats around the world rejoice at your claws in the branch.
For the record, Ch11 is just waiting for validation. I note that it takes from 3 hours to a day or more, depending on random factors.
Reviewer: hpf2114 Signed Date: 2006.07.09 - 05:36PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
No Review
Reviewer: Treecat Signed Date: 2006.07.02 - 03:03PM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Well, Umbridge, Skeeter and Snape are definitely on the to get rid of list.
Treecat
Author's Response: I think everyone would agree with that part of the list. I could suggest a few more names. Riddle, Fudge, perhaps the entire Wizengamot, that kind of thing.
Thanks for continuing to read, and leaving feedback.
Reviewer: Chreechree Signed Date: 2006.07.02 - 03:56AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
I loved Sovran's review. See, but I know you. You'll see that as a challenge and deal with the Harry knowing what Ginny did remark and can be pretty cryptic about that. Tee hee!
What do I love about this chapter? Rita and Umbridge: two nasty women who made canon Harry’s life hell. Antagonism is good when reading HP. I’m still looking forward to Dumbledore’s response – not to mention what Remus and any of the others have to say.
~ Christine
Author's Response: Thanks for keeping on top of the editing. Sorry Real Life ony my part has intruded to getting things moving quicker lately.
Rita and Dolores are both real pieces of work, aren't they? Reactions, reactions, throwing that stone into the pond always has unanticipated reactions.
And I think my response for Sovran was pretty on-target, thank you. Sometimes I have to back up and read his theories and my responses to make sure that I'm not giving away the game. A tricky one, that Sovran.
Reviewer: Sovran Signed Date: 2006.07.02 - 12:46AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
I'm betting that Harry knows what Ginny did to him.
Love the thestrals.
(Go ahead, see how cryptic you can be with that little ammo from me.)
Author's Response: Your bet would be lost, good sir. I think it's safe to say that Harry suspects a few things, might even have an idea or two, but that he "knows" what she did?
He already told Albus he didn't know what it was. Hmmm. Curious, that.
Chekhov's Gun rule is interesting to play with, isn't it? In OotP, JKR introduced a vehicle of sorts to get Harry and companions to the MoM. That, of course, would up being the surprisingly docile Thestrals that Hagrid had been raising. Implications?
Reviewer: murgel Signed Date: 2006.07.01 - 07:01AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
I cant belief you did it again!!!
I HATE cliffis. Update NOW!!
brilliant story good chapter.
Author's Response: Well, thanks for the feedback and continuing to read. You don't really expect every chapter to conclude with all the mysteries of the chapter explained, though, do you?
In the view of cliff-hangers, my opinion would be that this last chapter wasn't. Now, the fight scene was definitely a cliffie. You didn't know what happened at the end, Harry had just been knocked unconscious, and...
Contrast that to Ch 10's ending, where you knew what Harry was doing, where he was, that Albus knew and recommended he be where he went, and... there's no much suspense there.
Well, other than wondering what the repercussions of using a "professor" as a practice dummy might be.
Right, all that aside -- I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I try to keep "real" cliff hangers to a minimum, but little things like the end of Ch 10 are bound to crop up.
Reviewer: am12 Signed Date: 2006.07.01 - 06:58AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Bit of an uncomfortable transition chapter. No one in this A/U seems to understand what a fabricator R.Skeeter is.
Poor Ginny. She seems to be the one person avoiding Harry for a different reason.
Poor Harry. Why has Albus not yet informed the school that Harry acted in self defense?
Bad author. You spent an entire chapter, and gave us poor readers no explanation about how Ginny managed to do that. She apologizes that she "lost control". Isn't Harry the *slightest* bit interested in how she managed to knock him on his arse!?!?!? Just what is wrapped up inside that petite redhead!
Someone needs to publicize a bit more about just what a War Mage is, and the oaths they take.
thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback.
About Skeeter -- reflect on canon. Everyone in canon knew that Skeeter was less than fully honest and always went for a sensationalistic stance. Did that change how people reacted?
Ginny has a lot to deal with here, that's true. And Albus perhaps should step in and ease some concerns outstanding. But there are events that haven't been told, as the story thus far mostly unfolds from Harry's perspective. Who knows what's going on while he's otherwise active? And to top it off, even Dumbledore has pointed out to Harry that his actions have been rather precipitous and are causing problems that Albus can't keep up with. Hmmmm. That sounds familiar from somewhere in the story, doesn't it?
Harry did want to talk more to Ginny, but pushing on her would take what is already stressed, possibly fractured, and shatter it beyond recognition. There's a time to get involved, and there's a time to give other people their space. Resigned is what Harry is at this point. Will he lose his almost-starting friendships with the Weasleys? At this point, he has no choice but to think so. They haven't really given him an alternative...
Those pesky little details that loiter in the background of the story (War Mage oath, what Ginny did, etc) all come out in due time. In fact... some of it has already been implied, but not made explicit.
Reviewer: hpf2114 Signed Date: 2006.07.01 - 06:03AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
No Review
Reviewer: hoser41 Anonymous Date: 2006.07.01 - 02:49AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
Great chapter. I really like how you wrote Harry in this chapter. He's not as grown up as he would like to be and therefore is getting outplayed by the bad guys. I like the direction that you are heading.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, and leaving feedback. Harry is a bit of a contradiction, isn't he?
Watch those "bad guys" -- they've been known to be quite sneaky in their own right.
Reviewer: GWeasley Anonymous Date: 2006.07.01 - 01:54AM Title: Chapter 10: . . . Control, . . .
wow I'm the first to review how cool well I'm not shure what to say this chapter the story was great as always but dang is Harry having a bad day! The talk with ginny was a start but I think any type of friendship at this point is nye un to imposible I mean how is he going to redeam himself in their eyes? It almost seames as if Harry has just been through too much for school to be right for him, wich is very sad. I hope you don't do like a lot of writers do and keep Harry and Ginny from getting together intill the verry end thoes storys always suck, its like a lot of fan fare for nothing.
In answer to your question about how would I react in Ginny''s place is... Thats not realy a fare question since I am a country girl and come to grips with death along time ago, including my own, and when I get riled up I sometimes act like Harry and act without thinking or sometimes seeing,wich yes sometimes get me introuble but luckly my husband an friends know me well enough to see that I'm seeing red and not take anything presonaly (-: ) But seeing as Ginny has not come to grips with death and no one realy knows Harry I can see this happening but Ginny does seam to be an enigma in that one minuit she seams very strong and the nex she seams read to break like fine china falling to the floor.
Well I hope you update soon and put an end to the major angst you have us, your readers, in. :)
Author's Response: Thanks for continuing to read.
I would hope that no one truly feels that what is going on qualifies as angst, especially for what a lot of authors do to their characters. The all-reader-expected H/G get together will happen well before the end of the Echoes story, no fear in that respect. However, considering all the events going on, Ginny is about on par with her reaction.
Being country-fied to some extent does make one more familiar with life and death, I agree to that having some in my own background. However, being familiar with it doesn't fully equate to understanding the "big picture" as it were. Most of the other things I would say here, I can't -- spoilers, and all.
As for Harry ... yes, a bad hair day would be one way to describe it. Harry may seem like he's beyond the school, and in some respects he may be, but in others... he's got a long road to walk. You know that H/G will get together, so clearly it's not all lost, but redemption comes in many forms...
I hope the next few chapters make some of these things more clear. Thanks for the feedback!
